[meladoodle]

It’s the greatest video I’ve ever filmed

[gingersofficial]

I was so confused for a second but this is so cute

[eloise-t-g]

fyi these are two new zealand actors/comedians/tv personalities, and they ALWAYS get mistaken for each other. so they decided to shoot a video together to prove to the general public that they are two separate individuals. this is the incredible video they came up with and i love it

[bob-artist]

I bought this extremely soft mat for the ferrets, and it blew Kit’s mind.

[beaft]

i’ve put on the first harry potter movie to keep me company while i draw, and can i just say: the way that harry+co immediately jump to suspecting snape of Nefarious Evildoings simply because he’s kind of a dick will never not be funny to me. they don’t even know he used to be a death eater at this point. they know literally NOTHING about him they’re just like “well he was mean to me in class the other day, so he’s probably a spy for voldemort” “yeah that seems legit. let’s set him on fire” 

[bitchyglitch]

Harry+co: the vibes on this man… disgusting…

[justsomeantifas]

lmao so everytime i go to the emergency room i’ll be like “yeah i feel like im literally dying. my pain an agony is unbearable. that’s why im here” but i’ll say it in a really flat calm voice. almost like im bored.

so the nurses will shrug me off run some tests. like ok. whatever drama queen.

then the doctor will come back with the tests, vaguely panicked, like “okay. so you’re dying.” and the nurses will be all shocked and ill be sitting there with my continued bored expression and flat voice like “yea… that’s what ive been saying.”

and the nurses will be like “but you arent ACTING LIKE IT??!!!!”

and im just here like “oh sorry didn’t know this was a fucking final exam in acting class. goddamn.”

[justsomeantifas]

anyway sorry nurses. but when im literally dying i dont got the time or energy to make a show of it for you so you dont fuuucking kill me.

me, going septic: damn sure wish i didn’t have to wait three hours for antiboitics while you nurses are convinced im a drug addict who needs to be ignored, even tho u shouldnt ignore them either tf

[justsomeantifas]

this has happened to me four times now. where nurses have almost killed me. lmao tellin doctors im just looking for pain killers

theyll be like “she doesnt show any signs of pain”

sorry my mom didnt raise a little wimp.

the funniest part to me is i wont even be asking for pain killers. ill just be like: 😑i am in the worst pain i have ever experienced and i can feel death closing in. same shit as always lmao. am i right, doreen?

and theyll be like: this bitch just wants opiates im tired of it.

tho i will say it’s fun listening to the doctors yell at them for almost murdering me.

[justsomeantifas]

nurses. just wondering. can u maybe not be so fucking bitter and hate drug addicts so much that you’d rather have people going into septic shock die than potentially help out an addict? thanks.

[oekaki-chan]

Back study from twitter 👀

[weaver-z]

Nothing is funnier than when Boomers make political cartoons that end up being accidentally hysterical. Case in point

[frankpunisher]

im screaming into my pillow

[frankpunisher]

YALL

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

himbo energy

[heartou]

“One day after 100 years, when the weather is good enough, I hope I will be able to tell her she was my first love. I ask… above for permission” - Goblin (2016-2017)

[roguewn]

“Where would you find a sadness that lasts for a thousand years? Where would you find a love that lasts for a thousand years?” “I bet there is one.” “Which one? Sadness or love?” “A sad love.”

[captainjoongki]

“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.”  🍁🍁🍁

[frogdilf-archive]

winter is just [lives in oversized sweater] [reads 2,000 page book in 2 days] [sunsets at 2pm] [depression intensifies] [eats soup] [listens to melodrama] [existential dread] [is touch starved] [wakes up early and gets out of bed 2 hours later] [listens to hozier] [“bro feel how cold my hands are”] [drinks tea] [rereads harry potter for the 7th time] [both dreading and restless for the upcoming new year] [avoids human interaction] [drinks more tea]

[unmoistened]

i don’t have a nervous system. i am a nervous system

[tchaikovskaya]

yes offense but someone who isnt well versed in social justice discourse and has somewhat ignorant views of that stuff but who still genuinely cares about other people and actually does something to help them even if they dont necessarily “understand” them will litchrally always be superior to someone who thinks of other peoples suffering as an intellectual exercise and is only interested in developing their knowledge of theory and having all the Correct Opinions to look smart online or in their undergrad philosophy class lol

[feminismandmedia]

[aplaceofhisown-deactivated20180]

Being a millennial is getting buyer’s remorse over a $3.83 pack of oreos.

[qxessence]

This is genuinely hilarious but fuckin terrible

[guitarbeard]

Wizard who got tired of fighting and casts fucked up unethical spells like “super brain hemorrhage” to end them faster

[blackkkabutops]

One time I did “Summon Water” inside a guys lungs and the GM allowed it because he had been playing for years and never seen anyone do that

[indyexploits]

Me “I can raise the temperature of a space by 5 degrees (Fahrenheit) per success” DM “Okay.” Me “And that’s 6 successes, so 30 degrees…” DM “Okay…” Me “And ‘inside the human body’ is a space, right?” DM “…I don’t like where this is going.” Me “So I’m going to raise the temperature inside his body 30 degrees.” DM “Yeah, so he’s dead now. He was fine, and then went through all the stages of heat stroke in half a second before his body went ‘No thank you’ and just shut off to stop it from being so hot. Good job.”

[unabashedlybi-deactivated201911]

[irrational-obsessions-gottcha78]

Can we talk about how cute Jung was here? I mean… Seriously. Adorable.