The Qdoba story is simple: A woman with a disability went to eat at Qdoba. A former employee of the restaurant assisted her in eating her lunch. A bystander videotaped it as it happened and sent the video to a media outlet. People watched the video, cooed over how heroic that employee was to help a woman who is disabled, and began sharing the video all over the place. Let’s unpack this, because even my deep appreciation of human decency does not outweigh the problems with this video and how the responses to it have unfolded. First, why did the man who filmed the video think it was okay to do so? Did he go up to the woman and ask, “Hey, is it okay if I record you while you go about your daily life and eat a meal?” Would he have considered it appropriate to take a video of a non-disabled stranger eating? Probably not. Voyeurism aside, I’m deeply uncomfortable with how the media is handling the video, and with how people are responding. In addition to the fact that someone assisting someone else with eating should not have been deemed newsworthy to begin with, the woman is barely even acknowledged as a person. She is nameless, an object. Specifically, she is deemed an object of helplessness. But the woman is NOT helpless. She specifically requested assistance with eating, as is noted in the news clip. She advocated for what she needed. The employee’s assistance was simply a kind acknowledgement of her request. However, I’ve read some of the comments on the video posted on various websites and many of them miss the point, making my stomach turn. The comments regarding the man are all to the effect of “bless his heart,” “what a hero,” “such a saint.” And then there are the comments about the disabled woman, which essentially proclaim how sad and terrible her life must be if she cannot raise a bite of Mexican food to her mouth.
Why the Public Has Turned the Random Act of Kindness at Qdoba Unkind

















