Chapter 16: I Have No Scream and I Must Cone
The day the door is closed. The day life as they knew it was over. Both boys felt themselves growing closer and closer in the days since the show, both feeling powerless to stop it.
The echoes of the crowds filled Jack's soul, his head still reeling. They didn't know which way to go, both sides were full of uncertainty. Either Sung leaves the vessel, leaving him without a physical form for who knows how long or they fuse permanently to Jack's form and he completely forgets his life.
The choice was driving them insane. Days went by debating plan after plan, every conversation leaving them as confused as when they started.
"It's up to you." was the only advice given to them. Both the family and the band knew they had no real understanding of this decision, leaving the painfully paralyzing choice up to Jack and Sung.
The day of a totally fun SeX-Rays show and a particularly ascendant Twrp busking they decided to walk home rather than going in the van, hoping anything along the way would help them find an answer. It seemed impossible, most conversations came to the same conclusion; neither of them wanted to leave anything behind. Whether it was billions of years or nearly two decades of life was it worth abandoning for a stupid dream? It was just so hard.
The same worried thoughts circled their mind until the boys stumbled upon a familiar sight. A yellow fire hydrant with black rims and an orange traffic cone.
It was as if something snapped. Jack heard the faint sounds of a crowd cheering, the streetlights above them began to flicker, and for the first time, Sung was rendered unconscious. The entire summer flashed through his mind. Jack was finally in control. Jack was finally ready to put his thoughts in order.
He'd been focused on everyone else's perspective. His parents telling him what to do would've been the easy way out, and Jack desperately needed this to be easy. It was torture. Forcing himself to make the right choice was torture. What even is the right choice in this scenario?
He wanted this, this insane summer made him realize how bad he did, but he couldn’t risk losing everything, especially Stan. What would he do without him? Stan meant more to him than anything in the world. If fusing meant he'd have to forget his brother, he didn't even want to consider it. The very thought made him want to scream. Overwhelmed by the emotion racing through him, a streetlight above him shattered, and just as Jack was going to turn onto his street, he blacked out.
He savored the feeling of each step. Oh how drastically the things he took joy in changed. Defeating evils, punching and high kicking his way through the universe. Fighting for good above all else. All by himself, but why? He couldn't tell. His mission was still clear. Save the universe with music. It wasn't the same. It was like nothing worked without his band anymore. He couldn't imagine a reality without them. He couldn't imagine leaving the beauty of Earth either. It didn't make any sense, yet he knew it was true. The very idea of leaving his band tore him apart.
No matter how either of them felt, the clock was still running down. He was consumed by the sound. Was it hurt? Was it love? Could the music ever be enough?
The question made the boys scream. It was all they felt they could do. Both voices rung out from the shared pair of vocal cords, unsure of how that was even possible. When the two finally caught their breath, they found themselves in a familiar dark room. The very room Jack was supposed to be performing in the night Sung revealed himself.
He jumped. What the hell was he doing here? The SeX-Rays show ended hours ago.
"Stan! Umm, hey." He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. "Look I know I'm not supposed to be here but-"
"Dude, it's cool. Technically I'm not supposed to be here either but the owner said he'd give me some extra cash if I helped him close. And your reason for being here?"
Standing awkwardly he considered how he'd answer. In all honesty, neither Jack nor Sung knew how or why they were there. It was just where their intense emotional breakdown led them.
"I don't know. I think I feel like this is a good place to-"
"Scream?" Stan chuckled. "Feel free."
"Or y'know, just to think."
A quieter chuckle escaped Stan's lips.
"Music can help you do that. It's gotten me through some very rough spots for sure."
Seeing Jack on the stage of the small dive bar made pride swell through him. The pride he felt every time Jack performed. He had a hunch that feeling would never truly fade.
"You seem pretty comfortable up there."
Looking around as if what Stan said complete caught him off guard, he mumbled.
"Yeah, man. And I don't think it's all Sung doing that for ya."
"True." Finally jumping down from the stage, he sighed with a lost look glazing his eyes.
"I'm just confused I guess."
Stan leaned in and gave his brother a tight hug, feeling his breath slow to a normal rhythm as he let go.
"I don't exactly know what you need to hear right now, but I'll just say this. Doing what you really want in life, takes an insane amount of courage. And sometimes it can look really stupid to everyone else," his eyes cast downward, he took a breath, knowing that what he was about to say might lead him to lose his brother. "But you gotta remember there's no easy answer for everything. It'll all be worth it in the end because you're chasing what you want." He gave Jack one last hug, this one longer than the last. "And if you're happy, I'll be with ya the whole way, brother."
