The Coolest Loser You Know

She/her — I like things a normal amount don’t worry about it

[lord-pretzel]

A new Lord-Pretzel pinned post? On my blog? It's more likely than you think.

★I'm Lord-Pretzel! Call me Pretzel or LP (Not my real name obvs lol)

★She/Her, Bi, Autistic, English

★Mutuals feel free to dm! (I am terrible at replying though sorryyyyy)

★ Everyone feel free to send me asks! Please, I love being bothered.

★ My posts tag -> #I just say shit recreationally

★ My asks tag -> #ask a pretzel

★ Sometimes I live blog stuff (mostly taskmaster lol) so if you want to filter it I like to tag it -> #pretzel live blogs

Fav things!

★ Music: Pulp, Mitski, MARINA, Tyler, the creator, Lemon Demon, Infinity Song, They Might Be Giants

★ Tv Shows: Red Dwarf, Gravity Falls, The Disastrous Life Of Saiki K, Peep Show, Spaced, The Summer Hikaru Died

★ Video Games: Deltarune, Undertale, The Stanley Parable, Splatoon 3, Tomodachi Life Living The Dream

★ Films: Shaun of the Dead, Frankenstein (2025), Alien, Perfect Blue, Into the Spiderverse

★ Books: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Never Let Me Go, Discworld, Scott Pilgrim, Delicious in Dungeon

★ Other: Drawing, Kandi, Writing, CDs

My Other Stuff!

★@pretcil -- My art/writing side blog

★ Lord_Pretzel -- My Ao3

★ Pretzelllll -- My Pinterest

Blinkies under the cut! (Flash Warning!)

[bewbin]

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

[zephyrusphi]

yuo cant say this during plague month

[zephyrusphi]

pride month. pharohs curse got me

[earhartsease]

so our friend who goes by Irregular Joe in robot wars circles has crafted The Luggage, who is "a 13.6kg sportsman featherweight"

just look at it go!!!!

sound on, by the gods

[discworld-heritage-posts]

Discworld Heritage Post

[jetix]

‘やるんか？やるんかっ!?’ (You gonna fight? You gonna fight!?) Needle felt art by Chachakinana, 2025

[hollowedskin]

NEEDLE FELTING?????

[organicmatter]

Being hairy is so awesome #mammal

[anistarrose]

my only religious belief is that there is no afterlife except for the ublock origin team who are going to heaven and the youtube anti-adblock team who are going to hell

[vedurnan-archive]

[heathercollinsmd]

Josh Johnson in Charlotte (posted 4/21/26)

[dark-miku]

check this out i'm playing bad apple in your imagination

[dark-miku]

reblog to play bad apple on your mutuals

[my0clonic-jerk]

[cardassiangoodreads]

Genuinely, one of the measures that's stopped book banning the most when districts implement it, is having the would-be banners fill out a form that demonstrates if they've read the book or not. Like where they have the summarize the plot and characters and do a mini book report and give a review. It stops them in their tracks. This is why in my high school, every time someone wanted to ban a book it ended up going nowhere. There was one where a conservative student wanted to ban the manga "Legal Drug" for having a marijuana leaf on the cover, then got the form that required them to actually read and either balked, or read it and realized it was not pro-drug at all. (The other one that reduces book bans even further is "requiring the would-be banner to be affiliated with this actual school in some way, either by being a student, faculty/staff or a parent of a child at the school" because the vast majority of bans are "activists" with no affiliation with the school who just travel around trying to do this in districts all over the U.S. IIRC a few years ago someone crunched the numbers and just 51 parents were responsible for all the book bans that year nationally. 51! In a country with 50 states, with over 300 million people total!)

[hotvampireadjacent]

https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw

[littlemisspipebomb]

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

[baronfulmen]

"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."

I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.

[perception-filter]

staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"

[campedward]

[monstermonsterman]

need to organise a drag performance of H2G2. Zaphod will be played by two drag kings standing really close to each other

[lezarus]

seeing skinny people do miss piggy cosplay actually makes me feel like i’m gonna die. how dare you stand where she stood?

[sombradusk]

graceful

[monokuromatic]

School assignment was about playing with the formatting of text while writing so I did what I always do and made it about living with anxiety and depression baybeeeeeeee

Anyway now I have something to show people who are blessed enough to not deal with this and maybe they’ll get it!!!!