A Spider From Mars

Your friendly neighbourhood sanguinarian shitposter just trying to live some semblance of a normal life. Feel free to ask me anything about myself or my condition, I only bite sometimes ;)

[armand-dearest]

Y'all, I don't see the DID community talking about Mr Robot. I don't understand why. It's the best depiction of DID from any piece of media I have ever seen. It's respectful, grounded largely in reality (with artistic liberty, but it doesn't demonise or make light of the condition!).

In addition to this, with each season the representation becomes more accurate, emotive, and psychologically accurate. Season 1 is a bit questionable, season 2 is a lot better... Seasons 3 and 4 had me crying just from the pure euphoria of finally seeing something good to relate to in the media.

Don't get me wrong, the show is 18+ and deals with extremely heavy subject matter, and eventually details the cause and effects of the system's trauma. It's not gonna be for everyone. But oh man, does it show DID in an empathetic light.

In my favourite episode, the host gets attacked by a gang of men. He has a protector alter, who instantly switches out to take the hits for him. The host goes into an inner world that the protector crafted just for him, and they're co-conscious enough to talk to one another. They literally use the front seat back seat analogy as a visual aid method to let the audience understand, symbolically, what is happening. When the host comes to the front again, he cries and thanks the protector alter profusely for doing that for him. For protecting him from harm.

It's genuinely phenomenal. There is no "evil alter" trope. The alter can act shitty, but so can the host, and so can most other characters. What I'm saying is that there is no "evil" alter character, and that the violence alters DO display is not disproportionate to other characters who aren't in a system. Basically, the condition isn't used to fearmonger audience members or act as a Freakshow for people without DID.

But yeah, heavy on the trigger warnings. Everyone knows Mr Robot as the Rami Malek computer hackerman show, but God is it more than that. If you can handle the content warnings, I would 100% recommend it.

[lordziggystardust]

The show is truly phenomenal. And the fact that is such great representation is just the icing on the cake. Honestly, this show has helped me come to terms with being a system so much. The host/protector dynamic between Elliot and Mr Robot is so touching.

[thephloxbayou]

lordziggystardust

  I’ve just begun watching Mr Robot after seeing…

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do–it’s an amazing show! And the fact that it portrays DID realistically and positively is a huge bonus.

I always wanted to watch it and hadn’t the chance, then when I heard DID was the “twist” it turned me off of it… but from what I’ve been seeing people post of it lately it totally rings true to my experience even if I’m obviously not having the same experience. And seeing some of the talk from fans around it is making me a little uncomfortable given how people are seeing it without a vested interest in DID, like claiming Elliot might not be the “real” person… I get it and I know no harm is meant but ick. Hopefully watching it will make me feel better versus almost feeling like I’ve got an audience spectating ME ya know?

It’s been super soothing actually to watch the show with the idea that Mr Robot is a protective alter! And knowing how they treat Elliots condition, had I started watching before I might’ve been turned off thinking it was being taken advantage of just to be the weird character and I’ve seen that go bad so many times and get way nervous and self conscious about it.

5 episodes in though and I’m really enjoying it. Now it’s too bad I have an inability to recognize faces well (did you know Hugh Jackman was in Chappie? I didn’t til the end when he made a Wolverine joke and I connected the dots. I also couldn’t tell in a movie of his where he fought a clone if it was indeed a clone or a different person xD) that makes any TV show a bit confusing for me.

Just to note in case it wasn’t obvious for people who don’t follow me, I do have diagnosed DID

[lordziggystardust]

Oh, I feel you on that one. I started watching way back when the pilot released so had no idea DID was even going to be part of it but I did have my suspicions as I watched that Mr Robot might be an alter but thought I was just reading too much into things. And then it turns out he actually is! So even though I wasn’t sold on the show as that being the twist myself, I can see why you would be hesitant about that (don’t worry though, the entire show is full of twists and that’s the only one that is built off of his DID). I was a bit wary that they were going to capitalize off of it and take advantage of Elliot being the “weird crazy guy” like you said but I’ve honestly found it to be probably the most respectful and compassionate portrayal of mental illness that I’ve seen on TV. They make the audience really sympathize with him and his struggles. I’ve found it very cathartic to watch as well. I honestly adore the character development over the show and how Mr Robot goes from being the misunderstood perceived persecutor to the protector and how his and Elliot’s relationship develops as they learn to cooperate and appreciate each other. There are some really touching moments between them throughout the show.  I agree that some of the fans can be a bit annoying with the “omg so Elliot not real” (although my personal favorite dumb fan theory is still the “his hat is secretly an alter” one lmao) even though they mean no harm but I’ve actually found that the show’s portrayal of the condition makes for a great springboard to discuss it with fans. I’ve had great success in discussing DID/OSDD with people who watch the show as they generally are much more understanding of it and empathetic due to having seen it through Elliot and Mr Robot and their journeys as people. It seems to really have helped people understand and I find it quite touching to see people viewing it compassionately rather than with the knee-jerk “oh he’s a crazy psycho” reaction. (Now, compare that to people whose only source of knowledge on it is Split and, oh man, that is like night and day…) I never thought a TV show would ever affect me this much but Mr. Robot has helped me so much and I credit it with getting me to finally accept myself and realize that I’m not just crazy or delusional.

[thephloxbayou]

I mean I’ve cried over some of the gif sets so xD

Although I’m only on episode 8 and heard a theory going around, and I’m pretty sure it’s bullseye if I’m not too late to it. There is another alter, and he is chronologically younger than it, which is why he did not have access to  chunk of memories. (this does not, however, to other reading, mean he is not the “original”. There is no original in a system. What you might consider one may have been there at that time but does not switch out to be the “real” person as DID has morphed them the same since they are also an alter. Say, while my child alter may be the “original,” this is not the true me, as it is only an aspect of identity and mind and not the whole thing. We did not develop properly due to outside influence, hence all these parts became their own rather than one identity.)

I do have some friends into the show that are very interested in my perspective on it, given they’ve asked in the past if shows im watching or games im playing are good portrayals. So far so good, and from what I’ve seen of 4 it will stay good. It’s a really awesome way to show others how I experience something versus, say, United States of Tara, which while excellent! is exaggerated and is from the perspective of people surrounding her, not from inside her own mind.

[lordziggystardust]

Oh yeah, some of the scenes in season 4 between them are really touching and I have most definitely not watched them over and over again.  Watching it co-con with my protector is such a wholesome experience.

Yeah, I agree with the theory that he is a newly created alter (there’s many clues pointing to this such as the “you were only born a month ago” as well as Mr Robot talking about him being “woken up” by Darlene moving to town and Darlene being the trigger for the other older alter).  

I think it’s a great way to show others as well, is really nice to be able to just say “it’s like in Mr Robot” and have people actually understand.

[thephloxbayou]

lordziggystardust

  I’ve just begun watching Mr Robot after seeing…

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do–it’s an amazing show! And the fact that it portrays DID realistically and positively is a huge bonus.

I always wanted to watch it and hadn’t the chance, then when I heard DID was the “twist” it turned me off of it… but from what I’ve been seeing people post of it lately it totally rings true to my experience even if I’m obviously not having the same experience. And seeing some of the talk from fans around it is making me a little uncomfortable given how people are seeing it without a vested interest in DID, like claiming Elliot might not be the “real” person… I get it and I know no harm is meant but ick. Hopefully watching it will make me feel better versus almost feeling like I’ve got an audience spectating ME ya know?

It’s been super soothing actually to watch the show with the idea that Mr Robot is a protective alter! And knowing how they treat Elliots condition, had I started watching before I might’ve been turned off thinking it was being taken advantage of just to be the weird character and I’ve seen that go bad so many times and get way nervous and self conscious about it.

5 episodes in though and I’m really enjoying it. Now it’s too bad I have an inability to recognize faces well (did you know Hugh Jackman was in Chappie? I didn’t til the end when he made a Wolverine joke and I connected the dots. I also couldn’t tell in a movie of his where he fought a clone if it was indeed a clone or a different person xD) that makes any TV show a bit confusing for me.

Just to note in case it wasn’t obvious for people who don’t follow me, I do have diagnosed DID

[lordziggystardust]

Oh, I feel you on that one. I started watching way back when the pilot released so had no idea DID was even going to be part of it but I did have my suspicions as I watched that Mr Robot might be an alter but thought I was just reading too much into things. And then it turns out he actually is! So even though I wasn’t sold on the show as that being the twist myself, I can see why you would be hesitant about that (don’t worry though, the entire show is full of twists and that’s the only one that is built off of his DID). I was a bit wary that they were going to capitalize off of it and take advantage of Elliot being the “weird crazy guy” like you said but I’ve honestly found it to be probably the most respectful and compassionate portrayal of mental illness that I’ve seen on TV. They make the audience really sympathize with him and his struggles. I’ve found it very cathartic to watch as well. I honestly adore the character development over the show and how Mr Robot goes from being the misunderstood perceived persecutor to the protector and how his and Elliot’s relationship develops as they learn to cooperate and appreciate each other. There are some really touching moments between them throughout the show.  I agree that some of the fans can be a bit annoying with the “omg so Elliot not real” (although my personal favorite dumb fan theory is still the “his hat is secretly an alter” one lmao) even though they mean no harm but I’ve actually found that the show’s portrayal of the condition makes for a great springboard to discuss it with fans. I’ve had great success in discussing DID/OSDD with people who watch the show as they generally are much more understanding of it and empathetic due to having seen it through Elliot and Mr Robot and their journeys as people. It seems to really have helped people understand and I find it quite touching to see people viewing it compassionately rather than with the knee-jerk “oh he’s a crazy psycho” reaction. (Now, compare that to people whose only source of knowledge on it is Split and, oh man, that is like night and day...) I never thought a TV show would ever affect me this much but Mr. Robot has helped me so much and I credit it with getting me to finally accept myself and realize that I’m not just crazy or delusional.

[lexsang]

Thoughts on autovampirism?

Hmmm... It depends on your situation to be honest. My opinion on autovampirism, hemophagia, autofeeding, etc. (the act of drinking one's own blood as a substitute to feeding) is that it should be looked at as a last resort substitute. It isn't a healthy habit to get into, which I know from experience. But it isn't something to look down on others for either. Almost every single sanguinarian I know has fallen into autovampirism from time to time, so it isn't something to be ashamed of. Again though, it is technically a form of self harm, and in the end it will only make the cravings worse and worse. Just be careful and allow yourself to guage whether or not you are allowing any autovampiric actions to become a problem and you should be completely fine :) I hope that was helpful!

[lordziggystardust]

This is good advice. I think it's something that should definitely be avoided if possible, but if you're really desperate and have no other choice then, well, we've all been there. It's understandable. But you definitely don't want to get into a habit of doing it.

[lordziggystardust]

A nice fresh glass of the red stuff. Bon appétit ;)

[coffinmirth]

[lordziggystardust]

I'm surprised by how perfectly this describes the feeling.

[mharti-mcfly]

[cleo4u2]

THIS. I saw a post the other day that literally said if you do it to a fictional character, you’ll do it in real life.

No. Just NO.

I’m so glad someone put it into words.

[decepticonsensual]

Lin-Manuel Miranda is a legend, and he’s absolutely right.

And I really feel like there are parts of fandom that don’t get or don’t believe this, and I think that’s troubling.  I’ve seen arguments that people shouldn’t have dark fantasies, or that bad impulses in themselves make a bad person.  I’ve seen so much shaming over thoughts.

And if you get to a point where it’s bad to have dark thoughts and it’s bad to wonder what something would be like and it’s bad to put yourself in the shoes of anyone who isn’t “pure”, if fiction is no longer a realm where you can confront and explore, but an ongoing test of moral purity… well, maybe not everyone’s brain works like mine, but I feel like that takes away something incredibly important to being human.

[athenagray]

Purity culture is gonna kill art if y’all let it.

[rainbowloliofjustice]

Fiction is a safe place to explore whatever fucked up or dark desire that you have. You can write the most vile and fucked up shit in fiction and it be absolutely nothing you desire in real life. You can write about a serial killer who gets away with it. You can write about someone who goes on moral crusades to purge the world of all evils and still be the protagonist. You can write anything in fiction because that’s what it is meant for. 

It isn’t meant to be a social commentary unless you create it to be. 

It isn’t meant to be educational unless you create it to be. 

Sometimes a story can be just that, a story. Entertainment. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Not everything has to be deep, or have meaning, etc. unless the creator wants it to be and a lot of the purity types end up forcing something to have deep meaning or social commentary where it isn’t meant to.  Is this inherently bad? No, but these people don’t just say “But this is my interpretation of it.” they go as far as trying to force that interpretation onto everyone else, including the creator, as a means of saying “See? It means that they promote/condone xyz so they’re bad and shitty people who should spend the rest of their life in jail with/are the same as people who’ve actually committed acts of violence against other people.” 

[theweirdwideweb]

[quasi-normalcy]

Spread this around; remind the world that for every Nazi, there’s an entire train full of sensible people capable of basic moral behaviour. 

[gay-mychemicalromance-disaster]

Remember, hand sanitizer removes sharpie, and good hearted people remove hate

[baby-bears-blog]

@e-cherub is right about people lying or using then being trans to do bad things. For example Jessica Yaniv.

She is a trans activist who has shut down multiple Twitter accounts and even female salons! The salons where shut down for not feeling comfortable with or feeling unfit working with male genitalia.

Not only does she shut down businesses she also is a predator! She's texted kids invasive and inappropriate questions!

She'll also ask kids there age to know they are underage before texting them!

She's even trying to throw a topless swimming pool party for underage kids...without the parents being there!

Now I'm not saying that she's trans or not trans but as the trans community we need to call out this predatory behavior and report it! Pedophilia is still pedophilia no matter what gender you identify as.

@largic add on more if you please and anyone else can add on as well.

[archivedtdp-deactivated20240111]

This video explains it all perfectly. Even if you don’t like Blaire White, please watch this and spread it around. Having this person represent us trans people and us remaining silent about this issue is only confirming what transphobes think about us - that we’re all just a bunch of perverted predators. If we continue to ignore this sick individual, it will only harm us more and more.

[theredcellar]

A fine glass of red.

[lordziggystardust]

Looks delicious. 

[confessionsofabloodfreak]

Are Vampires Otherkin?

I realize this is kind of a hot topic in the community so I wanted to share my feelings and opinions on it, and anyone is free to discuss with me on this as well.

I, personally, don’t think us vampires belong in the otherkin community. As i delve into the reasons for thinking this, please be aware that I do not hold any ill will towards the otherkin community or those within the vampire community that identify as otherkin.

Reason one: vampirism affects your physical health. Being otherkin generally does not. As vampires, we HAVE to feed (either psychically or through blood) in order to feel at our prime, regardless of our own spiritual, religious, or beliefs regarding past lifes and the supernatural. There is no particularly conclusive theory as to what causes vampirism in a person, though there is a lot of speculation and research within the community. Otherkin, as I understand it (I could be wrong but I did spend a substantial time in this community several years ago), is more of a spiritual thing, whether that be based on a past life or a form of spirit animal (not in the way of Indigineous Cultures, but I lack a better word for it). Otherkin discover this “other self” through much self reflection and endeavor to draw themselves closer to it, through meditation, rituals, lifestyle changes, etc. Their own physical health is not affected as this is more of a mental or spiritual thing.

Reason two: Vampirekin and Vampires are not the same thing. From the outside, they definitely appear to be so. However, vampirekin are otherkin whose kintype is a vampire, and typically more along the lines of vampires from folklore or pop culture. Most vampirekin feel an affinity for vampires and share many traits, but they may not necessarily need to feed (though they might anyway as a means to be closer to their kin type). Vampires, for the most part, do not ID as otherkin (though some do) and treat their condition more as a medical anomaly, while vampirekin treat it more as a spiritual or mental thing.

Reason three: Otherkin and Vampires have two completely different drives and goals pertaining to their own community. Otherkin, as I understand it, is mostly about the self, learning about past lives, and integrating that into everyday life. The vampire community is more about finding donors, figuring out what the source of vampirism is, a more focused study of the occult, and a particularly specific social scene. While otherkin is more individualistic, the vampire community tends to be more socially driven, with many vampires joining together into clans/houses or even large geographical groups. 

Now saying all this, I will admit there is a lot of overlap between the two communities. Particularly, many otherkin are part of the vampire community whether they have the Thirst or not. They may not even ID as vampires or vampirekin, but are what we call “Black Swans”, or people who are interested in vampires and their culture. There are also vampires who are involved in the otherkin community through mutual friends or romantic partners, as otherkin are generally more accepting of a vampire’s nature than a mundane would be. 

What my general opinion boils down to is that we are not the same, but we share many things that help us get along with each other and frequently occupy the same spaces as each other without much conflict. I think we can learn a lot from each other.

[lordziggystardust]

Have to say I agree completely. Brilliant explanation of how vampirism differs from otherkin!

[twitchingtails]

I'll admit, as someone who is otherkin and a therian I really don't understand fictionkin.

Please bear in mind this is not an anti-fictionkin post! 💕

I understand believing you were an animal not only because I do, but because animals are real. I understand believing you were a mythical creature because who knows what realities were...are out there!

I just don't understand how you can believe you were a fictional character in another life. Because that character was created by someone here; someone out in the world who designed them and created their personality and looks brought them to in their mind. For example, I don't understand how you can believe you were Peter Parker when Stan Lee created him, in this life.

But, although I may not understand, fictionkin of all kinds are always welcome on my blog! Always, no exceptions.

Just because I don't understand it doesn't mean I can't be respectful of it.

And if you agree with me that's great! But it would also be really interesting to hear from some fictionkin who may be able to make me understand!

Either way, I love absolutley all of you fictionkins. You do you!

[neutrois-lesbadger]

Here’s a shout-out for Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Sihk, Hindu, and otherwise overlooked or frowned upon religious alterhumans. A shout-out to anyone else who’s had to work and think hard and study and pray to find their place in a large established religion, who doesn’t get to tailor-make beliefs that uplift them but has to find them in the metaphors and hidden spaces of a religion that might not have thought to include you in the first place, or worse, outright seems to exclude you. A shout-out to everyone who’s ever felt alienated from alterhuman spaces for not being a neopagan, Satanist, witch, diviner, or having some kind of personally-crafted spiritual path. Shout-out to anyone uncomfortable with the way the alterhuman communities only really seem interested in uplifting certain beliefs and not others. We’re still here. Our paths might be different from the many others around us and present different challenges for us in reconciling who we are with what we believe, and it can be so hard when it seems like no one around you supports you, either because of your alterhumanity or religion, but just know that you’re equally as valuable and have so much to say on alterhuman spirituality that deserves to be heard.

[flock-of-changes]

A Take: “valid” as a word has reached peak meaninglessness on this site by now. 

[lordziggystardust]

Have to say I agree. I cannot stand the word. It’s as if things have just devolved into a giant circlejerk of telling everyone and everything that they are “valid”. So many conversations just seem to be just be “valid” back and forth. 

[nonhvman]

Do any other nonhumans understand the experience of being surrounded by humans and yet feeling completely alien to them? I have no major issues connecting to people, and I recognise that my body is physically human. But I look at a room full of people, and I just know that isn’t me in any meaningful way.

[lordziggystardust]

I do. I feel like I’m constantly hiding behind a mask, constantly hiding my true nature. It’s still somewhat alienating even after I’ve had all these years to get used to it. It’s like you always have to be on your guard, watching every move to make sure nothing slips through. Because you know that the consequences could be catastrophic.

[azaphaer]

The “Are you Kin” Checklist

Or are you experiencing something else?  So you think you are Otherkin? Then this is the checklist post for you! Devised to help narrow down whether or not you fit the kin experience, have a sit down and check those boxes out! Disclaimer: These checklists are a simple guide to help narrow down the different experiences criteria. It is NOT a foolproof or validity based checklist for deciding whether or not you are these things.  - - -  The Otherkin Checklist ☐ You identify as non-human either partially or fully. ☐  The identity is non-physical in nature. ☐ The identity is integral and inseparable from yourself. ☐  The experience is involuntary and not chosen.  ☐ The identity is more than relating to or sharing traits with the kintype in question. ☐ The identity is not for roleplay, for fun or for coping; it does not come and go as wanted/needed. ☐ Awakening to being Otherkin did not change who you are, rather it solidified it. ☐ You feel whole or complete in this identity and can not turn it on or off. If you have checked all or most of these boxes, you may be Otherkin. If you do not meet most or any of these experiences that are integral to being Otherkin, you are not. Continue to the next list! - - - The Fictionkin Checklist ☐ You identify as a fictional character or species from media. ☐  The identity is non-physical in nature. ☐ The identity is integral and inseparable from yourself. ☐ The identity is more than relating to or sharing traits with the fictotype in question. ☐ The experience is involuntary and not chosen. ☐ It is not something done for roleplay and not done for “fun”. ☐ The identity is not chosen for coping; it does not come and go as wanted/needed. If you have checked all or most of these boxes, you may be Fictionkin. If you do not meet most or any of these criteria that are integral to being FIctionkin, you are not. Move to the next list! - - - The Therian Checklist ☐ You identify as an animal, including those that are extinct. ☐  The identity is non-physical in nature. ☐ The identity is integral and inseparable from yourself. ☐  The experience is involuntary and not chosen.  ☐ The identity is more than relating to or sharing traits with the theriotype in question. ☐ The identity is not for roleplay, for fun or for coping; it does not come and go as wanted/needed. ☐ Awakening to being Therian did not change who you are, rather it solidified it. ☐ You feel whole or complete in this identity and can not turn it on or off. If you checked all or most of these boxes you might be a Therian. If you checked little to none of these boxes then you are most likely not a Therian. Move on to the next list! - - - The Copinglink Checklist ☐ You choose to identify as non-human, or a fictional entity. ☐ The identity is consciously created or chosen specifically. ☐ It was created as a coping mechanism. ☐ You are able decide who/what you identify as. ☐ The identity is made that can come and go as wanted/needed. If you have checked most or all of these boxes you may be a Copinglinker. If you do not meet most or any of these criteria, then probably not likely. Continue on to the next list! - - - The Otherhearted Checklist ☐ You feel a strong connection or bond to another species. ☐ You feel related to the species but do not identify as it. ☐ The feeling towards it is familial in nature, or like that of a close friend. ☐ The species is important to you and brings you a sense of familiarity. If you checked all or most of these boxes you may be Otherhearted. If you do not meet most or any of these criteria, then it is least likely conclusive to that. Move to the next list! - - - The Fictionhearted Checklist ☐ You feel a strong connection or bond to a fictional species or character. ☐ You do not identify as the fictional being in question, but identify with it. ☐ You feel a deep relation to it and it is familiar in nature, like that of a family member or close friend. ☐ The fictional being is important to you and brings you a sense of familiarity. If you have checked all or most of these boxes, you may be Fictionhearted. If you only checked a few or none at all, then you are probably not fictionhearted.  - - - Thank you for taking the time to check out this post! I hope that this has laid out a better understanding to what makes up these different experiences, and maybe given you some insight on whether you fit any of these or not. If you have any questions about information on any of these communities, I am more than happy to help! -Azaphaer

[lordziggystardust]

Pretty good checklist here!

[cyberwallflower-deactivated2019]

@ non-jews who accuse jews of not having any culture or of being culture stealers:

jews, mizrahim and maghrebim, have been living in the middle east and north africa for centuries, but g-d forbid their culture resembles the dominant culture.

ashkenazim developed a culture that is well in touch with our middle eastern heritage while being isolated and ostracized from european society, but g-d forbid we reclaim it.

if you aren’t familiar with jewish cultures, your accusations against them are uninformed.