Taking my Life Back

Today is the 14th of January, 2017 and I weigh 235lbs but that's going to change. I don't care about followers but if you want to then feel free! Update! It is now 2019 and instead of a weight loss blog this is a positivity blog! You may have to deal with a little dnd stuff since that’s what I’m into right now but hopefully it’s entertaining enough! My name is Linsey I’m nonbinary and I struggle with anxiety and an eating disorder (I don’t post thinspo ever! It’s harmful!) and I’m just trying to figure out what I’m doing with my life! I’m 25 and looking for a direction.

[tourfilm]

oh yeah heres my collection of 2021 headlines that i forgot to post when the year ended

[parkakeet]

The ‘Darker’ Side of ADHD

I’ve been getting a little annoyed with how people portray ADHD as this like ’quirky, diet disorder’ so let’s talk about the ‘darker‘ side of this shit. - impulsiveness

people with adhd can be extremely impulsive. To dangerous extents. I’ve never severely hurt myself or lost anything really important. but I’d be surprised if it never happened.

- intrusive thoughts

(I get ones like, stab yourself in the eye, having sex with whoever I’m talking to. Including friends and family, cutting off my fingers while I’m chopping veggies, burning words into my skin with a wood burner, breaking someone’s neck on the edge of a table, stepping on nails while I’m walking etc.)

-meltdown/shutdowns/sensory overloads.

I’ve screamed and cried and felt empty and pushed people away. I’ve felt like tearing off my skin and forgetting I exist.

-the inherent ’wierdness’ that people bully you for.

I don’t think about it very much. But I was bullied as a kid. For years I convinced myself that being called ‘wierd’ was a compliment. I’ve only recently started realizing that I didn’t choose that word.

not to mention the inherent trauma of growing up nd in a nt world.

I can’t think of any more rn. But please add on if you can. I know there’s more.

[losslass]

One of the biggest things I keep in mind when I'm having a hard time with my anxiety or depression is the realization that teenaged me would be happy of who I am right now not just in accomplishment but in how far I've come on my personal journey. Its hard to become a person. It takes time and effort and failure. All the hard times I've gone through, every night I've cried myself to sleep or every bad grade, grounding, world ending change, injury, relationship, everything has brought me here. This is the best I've ever been, nothing is stopping me! I didn't end up with a masters in chemistry like I wanted, I don't work in a Micheline star restaurant, I'm not married with kids yet but I'm happy. I have a wonderful partner who loves me and wants a solid future together, I have a good job that I can be passionate about and advance in, I have a stable home, good friends but most importantly, I finally understand who I am, what I want out of life and how to be happy. I'm grateful for what I have, who I have and what appertinuties may present themselves to me. I'm healthy and sheltered with people who love me, I'm not going hungry and for the first time in ny life I'm financially stable. I'd rather be happy than wealthy, I'd rather struggle with someone than be lonely, I'd rather improve myself than let all the negativity and self doubt win. For the first time in my life I am happy of my own doing and I'm not going to let go of that. To anyone who's strugglin, don't give up. It'll be hard, it's okay not to be okay, it's okay to have bad days but it's all leading up to something. You will find out who you are, you will learn how to be happy and you will get to where you want to be even if it's not where you thought you'd wind up. Be who you are. Be unapologetic about it, be strong, set boundaries and forgive yourself.

[iamalivenow]

dozens of tom cardy videos on this website but not the best one?

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[twigsinmyteeth]

hi psa: the second someone apologizes for being excited about something, that is the moment you start talking about it with 10x the enthusiasm because 100% guaranteed they have, at some point in their life, been shamed or told shut up or calm down about something that brought them joy and learned to apologize for taking up space and expressing themselves - learned to make themselves smaller- and that’s the absolute worst feeling in the whole world so please, the moment they apologize or say “I’ll shut up now”, you start talking about it for them, hype it up, encourage them to talk your ear off and participate in their excitement. We want their passion, we want their excitement, joy and love. We do not want to be stunted and bitter and angry like the ones who tried to stifle us, we want to foster and nurture the glow in their eyes and the sound of their voice speeding up with exhilaration

[libraford]

Teacher to me (photographer): this is Mohammed.

Me: and last name?

Teacher: -shrug- his name is Mohammed, hes the only Mohammed at this school.

Mohammed: -is in preschool, doesnt know his last name-

Me: -looks up Mohammed in system- Nadir?

Teacher: sure, yeah. Sounds right.

[libraford]

Me: this will come back to bite me later.

[libraford]

After merging my camera data with another photographer: there's two Mohammed Nadirs. -goes to talk it out with secretary-

Me: -shows two photos- which of these kids is Mohammed?

Secretary: -points to the one I did not shoot- that's Mohammed.

Me: I was told this one was Mohammed. -points to my student-

Secretary: well, theres only one Mohammed.

[libraford]

Secretary takes me to the break room to chat with two teachers.

Me: can one of you tell me which one is Mohammed?

Teacher A points to my student.

Teacher B points to not my student.

Both: that's Mohammed.

[libraford]

Teacher B says that her Mohammed is in her class and is definitely Mohammed Nadir.

Me: so who is Mystery Mohammed?

Teachers Aide walks by: who are you trying to find?

Me: -turns laptop around- can you identify this child?

Teachers Aide: oh! That's Mohammed!

[libraford]

So theres two Mohammeds. Secretary cant find data for Mystery Mohammed. No one can find his name. All we know is he's in preschool.

Me: okay! Can you direct me to the teacher?

Teachers Aide: sure.

I have my laptop open to the photo as I'm walking down the hall, updating data as we go looking for this kid. Checking hairstyles and clothes in vase we see him in the hall. Buffalo check shirt. Hi-top fade. Secretary is freaking out a little that she lost all data for entire student.

We pass the library.

A class is exiting.

I see the buffalo check shirt. I see the hi-top fade. Kid is wearing a mask.

Teachers aide taps him.

Me: is this you?

Child: no, that's Mohammed.

[libraford]

Identical child is Mohammed's cousin. They dressed alike for picture day because their mothers thought it would be cute.

Cousin: I dont know his last name. His mom never told me.

Teachers aide leads me to classroom where we see...

MOHAMMED!

Me: Hi, hello Mrs preschool teacher. I need to know the name of this child-

Teacher: that's Moham-

Me: Mohammed, yes. We gathered. What's his LAST name?

Teacher:

[libraford]

Teacher: Mohammed, what's your last name?

Mohammed: -stares at the wall, then points to a picture of a duck-

Teacher: his last name is not 'duck.' I'll go look it up for you.

Five minutes later and the reason we couldn't find his name was because he spells it MUHammad. All of this because the teacher swore he was the only kid in the school with the most common name in the world.

End scene, exit left pursued by a migraine.

[gallusrostromegalus]

This sounds like the EXACT flavor of bullshit literally everyone I know whos' had to deal with the education system in Ohio has told me about. Honestly I'm just glad it didn't escalate to a fistfight in the parking lot somehow.

[losslass]

Stupid thing I did today: stuck my finger in my hot water to make sure it was hot while making tea despite knowing there was steam coming off the cup

[sandersstudies]

ADHD means I’m really good at getting small compartments of my life in order but I can only do one at a time. So if my house is clean just know something else fell the fuck apart so that could happen.

[arandomthot]

Spilling tea has gone on for centuries in a variety of ways

[fantaboy91]

Love how silent the “freedom of speech” folks are about this one

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

WHY IS THJIS SO FUCKING FUNNY...WHY DID HE THROW THE MONEY LIKE THAT I--

[997]

masculinity is literally a form of drag

[peggycatrerr]

[rubensmuse]

i feel it important to tell you the caption on this is "POV: dinner date with a Wattpad guy" and the other 2 parts are just as funny

[strongwomenandstrongcoffee]

Honestly I’m a little tired of the abortion discussion centering around child raising and such. Like, if I got pregnant today, and someone offered to adopt the child and pay for my medical bills and everything, I still would have an abortion? You know why? Because I don’t want to be pregnant. I don’t want to put my body through that for nine months. And I don’t want to risk my life in childbirth. Fact is no one will be able to do that for me, so untimately it’s my choice and that’s all there is to it. 

[cloudmancy]

AND YET A TRACE OF THE TRUE SELF EXISTS IN THE FALSE SELF

[cloudmancy]

this post is about plastic dinosaurs

[fonchi262]

[jacryptid]

[eternal-fractal]

[zum1udontno]

[thelesbiancitizen-deactivated20]

In bonobo societies, all bonobos frequently engage in sexual contact with other members of the community, regardless of sex. Female bonobos in particular are quite promiscuous with both fellow females and males; thus, bonobo society is matrilineal or matrifocal. Since the patriline of each member is unknown due to female bonobos having many sexual partners, the female bonobos take communal care of their collective young, and the male bonobos take on other community-care roles instead. It is theorized that this leads to lower levels of violent conflict, as opposed to chimpanzee, human, and other primate societies that are patriarchal, since male members of these societies must find ways to identify their offspring which inevitably leads to violent, controlling behavior toward female members as well as violence & competitive behavior toward other males who may pose a threat to their social statuses. Bonobo societies are extremely peaceful in comparison to other primate societies.

The feature musical film Mamma Mia! (2008), directed by Phyllida Lloyd, shows an example of what a matrifocal society, resembling the structure of bonobo society, could look like for humans; where several females care for a child whose exact paternity is unknown, and instead of violence resort to prosocial behavior (joyfully singing and dancing) in order to resolve conflict. In this essay I will attempt to

[rainbowkisses31]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 have you all seen this??

Watch out Anthony looks like you have some competition for Captain America 4?? 🤣🤣🤣

[reid-sam]

This is freaking great 🤣🤣

[youngcreativenerdgoddess]

He is beauty he is grace he is JACK FUCKING BLACK

[journeyers-scrapbook]

Can you imagine being one of his neighbors and watching him running down the sidewalk like that on an otherwise uneventful day?

[kleenexwoman]

I like to think his neighbors have gotten used to his goofy brand of exhibitionism by now. They probably sit on the porch with iced tea and watch him frolic.

[daughterofscotland]

I love this man.

I also want to know how … pants… like that aren’t “disrespecting the flag” but a man kneeling is, but okay.

[chocoholicannanymous]

A/ the person wearing them is white

B/ I don’t even know what I just watched, but okay

[androgynouscollectivekingdom]

Get you one who can do both 😍

[hemi528i]

[ohboy-herewegoagain]

[anxietyproblem]

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