My Dear Diary..

Things I can't say out loud. Things I can't tell everyone. Words I can't keep in my head. Dear Diary, There was once a person who had secrets she couldn't tell anyone so she created a world of her own. This diary where she could write down everything she couldn't say. - 3th August 2012

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Finally achieving something in your life.

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Sometimes, empathy gets the best of us. It makes us feel pain for others, no matter what they may have done. It makes us believe there is something deep down that no one else can understand. We see our ‘loved ones’ in pain, and our minds block out how much they may have hurt us, telling us ‘this person needs someone. They need someone like me to understand and cry with them. Maybe that’s all they ever needed.’ And that thought… That thought could very well be a starting crack in the damage that is Stockholm Syndrome

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I finally realized nobody honestly understands how much I suffer. They hear my voice of pain as whining and complaining. I guess I just can't express myself the proper way..

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When you get those charming looks from strangers and you can't help but hate the world because you had to go through hell to get someone to notice you.

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Visit Original Link

"Welcome inside my mind"

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When you can't decide if you hate or love someone.

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Your heart skips a beat after throwing up and you taste the blood on your tongue.

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"Does your clothes still fit you?"

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"You're just normal size."

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When your own family members trigger you.

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When your flatmate moves away and you're the only one who lives in the apartment.. huge trigger to burge.

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Torture subjects often suffer from a post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Their strong feelings of hate, rage, terror, guilt, shame, and sorrow are also typical of subjects of childhood abuse, domestic violence, domestic vice, rape and incest, all contexts which contain chronic torture too. They feel anxious because the perpetrator’s behavior is seemingly arbitrary and unpredictable—or mechanically and inhumanly regular.

They feel guilty and disgraced because, to restore a semblance of order to their shattered world and a modicum of dominion over their chaotic life, they need to transform themselves into the cause of their own degradation and the accomplices of their tormentors.

Inevitably, in the aftermath of torture, its subjects feel helpless and powerless. This loss of control over one’s life and body is manifested physically in impotence, attention deficits, and insomnia. This is often exacerbated by the disbelief many torture subjects encounter, especially if they are unable to produce scars, or other “objective” proof of their ordeal. Language cannot communicate such an intensely private experience as pain.

-source

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When the person you love keeps toying with your feelings.. First returning your feelings, then ignoring them completely.

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The crushing pain you feel when you're replaced as a friend, as a person... as a somebody...

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I'm sorry that I'm not what you expected me to be..

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This world is full of manipulative people who will use you to their advantage. Even if your heart refuses to believe it, it's still the truth. You can't trust anyone.

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Why can't I hate the people that hurt me..?