there's a tortoise at work and he's 30 years old and I love that he's 30 years old because I can look at this animal that is 3 years older than me and go "does the man want his appy slices??" and he hustles over cause the man do want his appy slices
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

titsay
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
h
will byers stan first human second
Show & Tell
Mike Driver
icyghini twinkie
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Stranger Things
almost home

Product Placement
$LAYYYTER

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The Stonewall Inn

blake kathryn
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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@twinkatuff
there's a tortoise at work and he's 30 years old and I love that he's 30 years old because I can look at this animal that is 3 years older than me and go "does the man want his appy slices??" and he hustles over cause the man do want his appy slices
my three girlfriends. and YES they prophesy the death of the king of scotland
you all hate the position i sleep in because you haven’t advanced to my level and you’re jealous of my mental acuity and caustic wit as well as being extremely good at sleeping
This is like. The opposite of the recovery position
I love ✨ m o d e r n ✨ dance
Defense against a guy in a chair
unimaginably cruel
what do spinach be sayin
just realized you don’t need to say 6am or 6pm. we already know the m is there so just write like 6a or 6p. can’t believe no one figured this trick out before.
or you could do the easy thing and say 0600 and 1800
yeah like adding a bunch of unnecessary zeroes is easy. you piece of shit. you fucking coward
6p means 6 pence. that shit wont work in the UK
yeah but this is like for real people
indoor cat who’s body temperature is super self regulated by their fur and who is absolutely warm and fine:
me: you look cold do you need a blanket? need a blankey ? hm?
he smacked the SHIT out that bitch LMAOOO
What is going on
Who’s fucking house is this????
booty shorts that read “do not resuscitate”
that only works if they find you ass up but I guess you have plans
fanny pack that says “please turn over”
What if we kissed on the rouch
When someone is explaining something to you and you get hit with the realization that you haven’t retained anything that has been said to you and the moment they stop talking you won’t be able to recall any part of it