Hello! I hope this message finds you well! I wanted to ask how should one go about becoming a devotee? I feel like my religious trauma is holding me back and that I'm just not cut out for any of this. I don't feel as if I have anything to offer the gods or goddesses I'd want to worship and it's just a lot. I don't even feel like I'm worthy while simultaneously lacking faith because of my past experiences with Christianity. I just don't know ๐ญ. I'm also not in a safe environment to create alters or anything like that.
Ooohh my days. Umm, allow me to apologize very sincerely on getting to this as late as I am, sweetheart. I reallyyy... Got... Lost in the divine sauce... And you know - life as a whole kind of... Distracted me from Tumblr? But! That's for another post, let's dive right into your question.๐๐ท๐ท
Firstly!! There is no guidebook on being a devotee. A devotee, as a literal definition (the last time I checked at least) just means someone who worships (a god). In other words, the only thing you should do to be a devotee for a lord, is to be... Devoted to them. However devotion and being devoted looks and/or means to you.
Believe it or not, I relate to this a ton. I mean, for fuck's sake I quite literally had snot running down my face, full blasted-ly ugly crying in front of Apollon because of my religious trauma and how I felt so held back from the relationship I so desperately wanted with him. I even repented to him one time on accident but that's... Not important right now...
I see a lot of early devotees crashing their own parade before they even get marching by questioning "what they have to give" to their gods. I've got a simple answer for you and anyone else struggling with that: thyself. (Yourself)
That may sound a bit - overboard or scary. But it's quite simple. Gods don't expect offerings, as much as media might make it sound. Hell, in my experience? Lucifer, for example, doesn't even typically like it whenever I go tryhard for his offerings. He has literally straight up told me "No" and that I am spoiling him on multiple occasions.
Gods much rather have a genuine connection with you than to have the finest piece of freshly baked bread or the sweetest aged wine. They'd prefer you to blow them a kiss (which can be you just blowing a kiss to the air or whatever), you to smile when you think of them, listen to music that reminds you of them... To love them, and to eventually learn, and trust, that they love you just as much.
Idk what in particular makes you think you have no/little worth, but I assure you a god will not see you in the same light you see yourself. Unless you are literally having the strongest of all sticks up your ass and a fine-print contract type of situation with 100% "these are the rules and this is what I'll do for you in exchange for this" type of relationship with your deity or deities, I can promise you that all of your doubts (that you've allowed me to know here at least) are unfounded. This idea of you lacking worth, from my perspective, is just you lacking self esteem more than anything. Everyone is worth it, everyone in their own way or another, deserves the experience of being beloved by a god. Including you.
Faith is also not given, it is built. Faith cannot be demanded. That is false, that is inauthentic, and that is harmful. Which can also lead you to psychosis and ect ect...
Faith takes time. And you aren't expected to give gods your faith, heart, or trust right away. They won't command you to grovel at their feet and plead your life to them. It takes months, years, or however long to truly build faith for what it really is and not what you were taught by people turning to religion for something impure told you it was.
And altars are not a necessity either! I promise. Altars are nice and altars can be calming to have if you want them and can have them. But there are many different ways to have a worship space if you want it. Personally, I like to have my altars in my head. Imagining a beautiful cathedral dedicated to my beloved, decorated and architecture-d for them specifically... It makes things a lot easier, affordable, convenient (because you can give them an offering anywhere yk), I could go on. These also take time to build as well, since you need to get the hang of visualization and stuff. But, if you want a physical reminder of your deity, just get a plush, devote something you already have to them or set aside a bit of your drink for them.. The list continues. You quite literally can make anything into an altar or an offering. A little patch of grass outside? Hell yeah, put your hand on the ground and tell your god that you're thinking of them. Do whatever you want! They appreciate your genuineness more than any trinket or whatever.
Your love is what makes the thing special, not the thing itself, ykwim?
Anywayyy... I yapped a bit, my bad. I hope it helps you though, honey!!! Many blessings to you. May divinity give you their tender kisses of reassurance and pearls of peace. ๐ชฝ๐๐
