lostseawords —

Follow my vent blog entropiceyes, for memes & shit — The good thing about whispering every name to your heart, Is that it'll never be empty. The bad thing is, There'll never be space enough for your own. 27/M/New England Sun: Pisces/Aquarius cusp. Moon: Capricorn. Mercury: Aquarius. Rising: Leo. I've been published in several poetry books under pseudonyms in the past.

[papayajuan2019]

i’d love to bleed like a tea bag everytime i dipped into a body of water

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

It was probably nothing but it felt like the world.

Morrissey, Autobiography (via relatablepoetryandquotes)

[lostseawords]

9.29.20

The summer that I began to leave I cannot recall The heat nor Leaves nor The Lavandula that Spilled from my hand As a mother’s swung Forth. Both haphazard Both bearing yield Perennially.

[lostseawords]

9.17.20

pull out worms from your stomach like the fertile Mesopotamian soil bed until you’ve gone too deep.

now you’re pulling up roots & the venous thing in your hand is your digestive tract.

swallow back down quick before it begins leaking.

you are not yet ready to spill your guts.

[stephenstilwell-deactivated2021]

Our love was like the new moon. You couldn’t see it but its there.

s.s. (stephenstilwell)

[lostseawords]

2.19.20

& finally after i had read your heartfelt letter for the thirtieth time i began massaging shea butter & coconut oil into my skin each night sleeping with a hair full of collagen moister hoping it all would permeate deep enough in the way dante had sunk through the porous rocks of hell to soften the walls i had built around my heart

if virgil could be swayed then perhaps this older, less kind version of myself could be as well to allow some sincerity in once again because i feel as though i’ve let you down love, please don’t say i’ve become something you do not recognize, dear grasshopper

i am trying & you are no longer here to press the bottle to my lips to chirp against my back i must hold the glass myself & my arms are weak i can no longer sleep through the night without your reminder of the morning my bones have softened & grown tired my sturdy skeleton has spent too much time wading in this temporal waterbed

it is time to get up but i have become one with the reeds

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

What is there to explain? Surely you remember how I loved you.

Ivan Bunin, tr. by Richard Hare, from “Dark Avenues & Other Stories,”

[lostseawords]

2.19.20

whenever i get like this you’re always on my mind because just like happiness you are something i can’t find

[buttonpoetry]

Each moment of winter is so faint and silent it is a memory even as you live it.

Michael Lee, “Sound Lost in the North”

[lostseawords]

2.5.20

an invisible beast rampages through my mind which is no stronger than a china shop

stay still stay very still

don’t look at its horns don’t mind its snarling teeth

it smells cowardice & feeds off fear

so stay still stay very still

hold your breath if you must bit your tongue to taste copper

if you move, you die & right now, while the beast is breathing down your neck that doesn’t sound like such a bad thing but when it leaves & it will leave the porcelain will be beautiful again the chimes will sound & the breeze from an open door will lift the sweat off your brow

so stay still. stay very still. don’t give it an inch.

[lostseawords]

taylor swift is systematically appropriating lgbtq+ culture & if you support her, block me

[the-book-diaries]

I am infinitely strange to myself.

John Fowles, The French Lieutenant’s Woman (via the-book-diaries)

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Last year I swam through life like a fish through water. Now I’m a dry cork on the surface. I tread water and try to get down into it. Life’s everyday certainties are irrevocably gone. Everything is just pretend.

Daniela Fischerová, from “Fingers Pointing Somewhere Else,” wr. c. 2000

[lostseawords]

1.31.20

my mouth is always dry & my brain is always swollen my spinal chord is clogged blocked like my salivary gland diluting my thoughts through first a filter of pain preventing my fornix from  processing anything the words from my mouth are hardened by my lack of vitamin D & salt like tap water too harsh to scrub anything clean i produce too much too little like this world is simultaneously  too much & not enough

in the dreams that do come i spend the time begging my ancestors to let me die without holding resentment for my lack of life & fetishization of hades’ phallic scythe

please let me die,  i am always crying & there are never tears, i’m sure my ducts are as stuffed up with dirt as my soul the butcher is necessary & so is the washer but my screws have always been loose you see my senses fail me & i am only 25 please do not hate me if i cannot suffer this disillusion much longer

[lostseawords]

12.7.19

Even the roof of my mouth is cold, Darling; My teeth are aching, My gums, bleeding: Tongue, numb.

Every inch I move, Darling, My shirt rises at my back For such a lack of you, Holding me down.

That’s not something lovely though, Darling, It’s burning, transforming; Under the blistering cold of December’s  Snow rises life, & so shall I.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

I will abandon you. I will soon return to you even more blissful and renew my love with a vivider and more incorruptible love.

Alexander Blok, tr. by Boris Jakim, from Poems of Sophia; “Ante Lucem,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[lostseawords]

12.7.19

I believe in the death of emotions

The rising of tides & implosion of stars

The god you meet when you face brick

The rubber-banding of your heart with your back against the wall

Mine is a dark, dark sea

Where the artificial has penetrated 

God looks me in the eyes through a mirror

I beg my lover to sieve sand through the air, hold the wind just right

The tapping of a clock, the incessant pounding of my anxious digit

If the dark, dark sea is mine then I’d be able to reach down

Pluck it off the lips of feathers & save it from digestion

Knot it into crowns to adorn heads full of softer things than mine