Currently Daydreaming @loststarxox - Tumblr Blog

Aug 24, 2022

Unwaveringly Forever | JK | (R.) - One Shot 🔞

♾ Pairings: Alcoholic!Jungkook x Reader

♾ Ratings: R. (18+) 🔞

♾ Genre: Established Relationship, one-shot, heavy smut, heavy angst, fluff

♾ Warnings: Explicit Content🔞, implied heavy drinking, alcoholism, drunk!Jungkook, SoftDom!Jungkook, fingering, breast play, dirty talk, praise kink, unprotected sex, some tears, minor swearing, implied repressed trauma, self-sabotage, mentions of past emotional/physical/verbal abuse, mentions of past emotional trauma, implied gaslighting, mentions of physical violence, fighting some mental demons, overall sad kookie I’m sorry :(

♾ Word Count: +7.9k

“I’m not like my father. I swear. I-I’m so much better than him.”

♾🖤♾🤍♾🖤♾🤍♾🖤♾🤍♾🖤♾🤍♾🖤

Not even a silver lining had been present all day.

Dark grey clouds had cloaked over the once blue sky. All day, the sky weighed heavily with the thick grey clouds. A day where one would wake up with no sunlight leaking through the blinds to cast on their face. Just to look out and see a blanket of greyness filling the void of the sky, almost forcing you to be in a bad mood. But you didn’t let it get to you. You kept your chin held high and your smile bright. Yet eventually by the evening, the clouds slowly let the weight of their burdens trickle down below and drench everything in sight.

You worked tirelessly through the sluggish day, with consistent smiles and laughs at work. Trying your best to put everyone in a happy mood to distract them from the gloomy atmosphere outside.

Nightfall had arrived a lot quicker than you imagined. You looked out to see that it had begun to rain. The ache in your muscles caught up to your conscious by 9 pm. You were held back far longer today. It was always gruelling to be working overtime so you were elated to finally go home.

You waved your friendly colleagues goodbye in the safe haven of your car, a beaming smile on your face as you watched them drive off first. You revved up your own engine, turning on the wipers and began exiting the parking lot.

The soft hum of the radio played in the background. As well as the delicate patters of the rain against the windows somehow felt soothing to you. The thought of possibly taking a nice, warm bubble bath with Jungkook brought a giddy smile to your face. Maybe lay against his chest, feel his taut muscles under your fingertips as you both talked and giggled about absolutely nothing. Yeah, that would end the night perfectly, the thought making your smile stretch wider.

It was a short car ride, with your beamers illuminating the dark neighbourhood. You eventually pulled into the drive way, cursing yourself for not bringing an umbrella as the rain began to pour more strenuously. The large droplets of water clattered hard against the car. You made a quick run for it, fleeing up the couple steps to seek the shelter of your porch. Although, you weren’t able to escape a few globs of water falling on your head and shoulders. You let out a sigh of relief while fumbling with your keys, slotting the one for the house in the keyhole.

As you walked in, the house was almost pitch dark and oddly serene, the aura almost matching the mood outside. One could have thought that were was never even life here to begin with as you slipped your shoes off and turned to hang your coat in the closet.

However, with your back turned, you suddenly felt a pair of strong arms slither around your waist and yank you backwards. You yelped in fright at the unexpected embrace, dropping your coat and hanger as your hands instinctively clung onto the arms wrapped around you.

An amused chuckle rang close in your ears, as they smothered their face in the junction of your neck and shoulder. That was when your muscles eased a little. The large hands delicately turned you around. You let out a exhale of relief, your clenched jaw relaxing at the familiar dark silhouette looming over you.

“Hi, baby.” Jungkook huskily murmured against your lips. With his arms still tightly wounded around your waist, he messily slammed his lips against yours. You scrunched your nose a little as his body practically stumbled into you, as if he himself lost balance. The momentum knocking you backwards as well.

His wet lips very sloppily molded against yours for a few seconds, you being too bewildered to reciprocate properly. He eventually pulled away, mustering a shaky smile on his face.

You grimaced, awkwardly wiping your mouth a little. Not necessarily because you were grossed out by him, but the kiss left a glistening glob of spit on your lips.

“That’s one way to greet me.” You mumbled jokingly under your breath.

His hands ventured to your face, scorching hands lovingly cupping your slightly damp cheeks. He drew closer to you, His nose subtly brushing against yours. Your own hand wrapped around the back of his hand that held your face. You tried to gaze at him in the darkness but all you were faced with was his dark shadow.

“I missed you.” He whispered longingly, eyes almost shutting closed.

“I missed you too.” You replied, adorning a sincere smile. You flipped the light switch next you, the yellow warmth dimly blanketing the darkness.

Now that his face was more visible, your smile immediately faltered. He stood before you with the most sluggish appearance, with those red puffy eyes, darkly casted toward you. His unkept hair was disheveled from constantly running his fingers through it. His lips were naturally turned down in a slight frown. Jungkook’s once sparkly eyes were dulled and void, a certain type of exhaustion hidden beneath the surface. He nervously noticed you observing him.

“What happened to you?” You asked in bewilderment. You were quite startled as you closely peered at his slackened appearance. His vision was going in and out of focus as he tried to hone in on your concerned expression. “You’re drunk?”

He gulped a little, the unsettling ache of shame overcoming him from your expression.

“Yeah. Just... A little bit.” He mumbled in an effort to not appear as guilty. You gave him a look that showed you were clearly not convinced. You tried to remain as poised as possible, keeping the disappointment to yourself. He was faced with your back while you quickly picked up your coat and hung it in the closet. Your heart felt heavy in your chest seeing him like this. He watched your movements carefully.

“A little? You look wasted.”

His sad doe-like eyes shifted across your face for a few seconds. Almost like he was in a silent conflict with himself, and then his face faltered further, shoulders deflating like he couldn’t put up the act anymore. It was like a mask began crumbling off his face. A sympathetic expression washed over your features at his dampened appearance. His lips parted, his breathing turning more heavy all of a sudden.

“I’m sorry.” He slurred out, not really knowing what else to say. The heavy weight of shame leaking through his tone.

There was an ugly twist of sorrow in your gut at the realization. You grabbed his hand and silently began guiding him up the stairs. His footsteps were lazy and uncoordinated as his lanky figure numbly trailed behind you like an overgrown lost puppy. He clutched onto the railing so he wouldn’t stumble into you. He wondered if you were upset with him.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He repeated in the softest whisper. His remorseful eyes thoughtfully gazed at the way both your fingers were intertwined as you tugged him upstairs. He gripped your fingers tighter.

“I’m not mad,” You replied honestly, your face faltering only in sadness. “And don’t say sorry to me.” You whispered. That smile that once lingered on your face in the car was long gone. Your eyebrows were now pinched together with a small frown taking its place. You stopped at the top of the stairs, turning to look at him. Your gaze settled to his hair that lacked sense of direction, randomly sticking out in awkward places.

“Say sorry to yourself. You don’t deserve this.” You heart clenched as you spoke. Your hand automatically reached up to soothingly run your fingertips through his dark tresses covered in sweat, brushing the hair out of his eyes. He sighed at your soft caress, swallowing the thickening lump in his throat as a dreadful voice in the back of his mind nagged him.

“I’m not like my father. I swear.” He spoke in a slight panic, worried that you would be afraid of him. Worried that you would run from him. Jungkook’s panic came from a real place. His glossy, doe-brown eyes desperately searched your face. “I-I’m so much better than him.”

You nodded at him in understanding. “I don’t think you’re like your father.”

You told the slightest little white lie.

The thing was, Jungkook lived a rough family life. His father being a raging alcoholic was on one side, and his major anger issues and the physical violence he watched his mother go through was on the other.

As Jungkook grew up, his father began targeting him in a different way. He knew how much Jungkook loathed him for his cruelty, so he’d pick his brain. His leverage being that Jungkook looked exactly like him. It was true, the physical resemblance between the two was uncanny. That little known fact only fuelled Jungkook’s hatred even more. Beyond physical abuse, his father began manipulating him into believing that Jungkook would grow up to be exactly like him. That he couldn’t escape their similarities no matter how hard he tried. And what better way to get on Jungkook’s nerves by telling him he was exactly like his dad.

Jungkook lived with those haunting words burned in his mind for a long time. He hated every comparison photo brought up between them. He wanted to burn them all. This is because what’s worse than looking in the mirror and seeing the same face that tortured you and your family for years, staring back at you. It would drive anyone mad.

So then Jungkook became determined to change his appearance. He styled his hair different, he covered himself with tattoos, he began weight training to buff himself up, and even decorated his ears with piercings.

Jungkook was terrified of his father, but he was more terrified of becoming like him.

You had a small theory. You didn’t know if you’d ever share it with Jungkook. To you, his dependency on alcohol didn’t just appear out of thin air. His father had this coping mechanism, and Jungkook subconsciously adopted it. You were almost positive that addiction in the family being passed is prevalent in some ways. However, that’s where the similarity strictly ends.

Jungkook had perceived you to be deep in thought, slightly cocking his head to the side as you carefully guided him into the bathroom. His loosened muscles easily let you nudge him down to sit on the closed toilet seat. You were about to step away but he quickly grabbed your arms, his half-lidded and sluggish red eyes gazing up at you expectantly. He pulled you closer to stand between his spread thighs. You noticed the sheen of cold sweat glistening on his forehead, strands of hair sticking to his feverish skin. He blinked his eyes slow and long at you. His foggy conscious trying its best to focus.

“I’m sorry.” He croaked out desperately, tugging at your heartstrings once again as you gazed intensely at his wavering eyes. He couldn’t be the one to keep it together, so it had to be you. And it was okay. “You don’t deserve this.”

You sighed, lovingly cradling the back of his head in your hand, pulling his head closer to you. He gently nosed your neck.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You whispered, trying to comfort the distressed man, placing your lips against his hair.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you.” Cupping his scorching cheek, you leaned down, softly placing your lips against his. In just a few seconds, you parted from him again.

“It’s okay.” You repeated in a whisper, this time saying it to yourself as your eyes fluttered closed, containing your own coiled up emotions residing tightly within your chest. Your heart broke for Jungkook every time, because God knows he doesn’t deserve to be constantly tormented like this. You rested your forehead against his cold, clammy one. Both your breaths fanned against the other’s lips. You held him like that for a while, letting him feel your presence. Your touch. Because you weren’t sure how effective your words were to him, but your touch definitely soothed him.

You eventually pulled away and stood up straighter to keep cradling his head against your neck.

“It’s cold.” He admitted, the dreadful ache in his chest becoming mellow thanks to your nurturing warm embrace.

“I know.” You remarked back. You slightly pulled away to see his quivering lip and eyebrows pulled into a frown.

You went to step back. “Hold on. Let me get you a warm towel.” You said.

However, his blanked mind, so intoxicated didn’t register your words for a second. Because as soon as you began to step away again, his grip on you tightened, the fabric of your sleeves scrunching between his fingers as he desperately held on. The harrowing expression already twisted on his face deepening.

You watched as he unexpectedly stood up, forcing you to step back as his balance staggered a little bit. He blinked away the stars clouding his vision and tried to ignore the blood rushing straight to his head from his quick movement.

“Jungkook?” You skeptically eyed him. Although all he did was pull you into his arms, enveloping you tightly in a hug.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered pathetically against your hair. He inhaled your sweet scent, sighing softly as if it calmed him down. “I just have to say it. I’m so sorry.”

Your own lip quivered a little against his chest. You clutched onto his arms.

“Just– just stop saying sorry.” You choked back your tears. A trace of your own frustration accidentally leaked out as your throat began to swell. “Just let me take care of you. I don’t like seeing you hurt.” Your voice cracking at the end. It felt almost painful holding your tears back, a few accidentally slipping out and wetting his white shirt. Knowing you like the back of his hand, he sensed it instantly.

“Don’t cry, baby,” He cooed at you softly, his heart breaking a little at your anguish. “Not because of me at least.”

You wanted to let out a festering cry. You wanted to heal Jungkook. You wanted to make all his sadness vanish. But you just didn’t know how.

“How can I not? You’re in pain and I feel helpless to stop it.” You stifled out.

He eventually exhaled a long breath, softly fanning your stray away hairs. He was starting to feel dizzy from standing this long. The last thing he wanted to do was go tumbling into you. So he started fumbling back down on the closed toilet seat. Although with his grip still unknowingly latched on to you, you almost went down with him.

You resisted from falling on top of him, placing your hands on his shoulders. He slowly and reluctantly let his hands fall from you as you began to step away. His eyes now remained down casted to the floor in an unpleasant daze-like state.

You were free to grab a small, fresh towel from the cabinet. You turned the sink on and let the warm water soak in the towel and then walked over to him.

He let you nudge his face up, and you softly brushed the heat of the damp towel over his chilled skin. He kept his eyes closed, quietly relishing in the feeling as you swiped it over his perspiring forehead, your strokes venturing all the way down to his neck as well.

“You need some water,” Your gentle tone broke the tranquility, making Jungkook open his eyes at you once more. “Keep warming yourself with this and I’ll be right back.”

You couldn’t tell if Jungkook heard you or not based on his lack of reaction. You paused.

“...Okay?” You expectantly raised your brows a little. Crouching down to level your face with his due to his low seat. You placed your hand on his shoulder, softly squeezing the tensed muscles in a massage like motion.

He numbly nodded, his empty eyes now watching you exit the bathroom. However, the damp towel remained limp in his hand, completely unmoving. You came back with three plastic water bottles held to your chest.

You put the towel away and held out the water to him. His dreary eyes were barely able to focus on the object but his wavering hand still took it from you.

He roughly snatched off the lid and held the bottle to his dry lips. You watched in slight amusement as Jungkook threw his head back, eyes shut as he easily chugged the first one in just a few seconds as if it was nothing. The cool liquid felt so soothing to him, silkily gliding down his parched throat. Unlike the bitter burn of the whiskey. He let out a dragged sigh after releasing the rim from his lips, almost akin to a low growl. The empty plastic bottle crinkling in his tight grip as he shakily handed it back to you. You slowly took it from him and silently handed him the second one, which he also gulped down in a few seconds. He only drank about half of the third bottle before he was done.

He hastily wiped his mouth with the back of hand. His eyes were still casted to the floor, barely looking at you. He didn’t like the look of pity that you gave him.

“Let’s take a nice bubble bath. It’ll make you feel better.” You suggested softly, masking a sniffle as you opened the cabinets, taking out his favourite vanilla scented soap.

Jungkook stayed still on the toilet seat with his head hung low. Almost resembling a despaired child as he quietly and discretely watched your movements from beneath his lashes. His face was still feeling incredibly droopy.

His posture was lazily slouched with his fingers loosely clasped together between his spread legs. It looked kind of funny. Seeing a grown man, clearly too large for the small seat, slumped like that. He patiently waited for you as you turned the faucet on, letting the loud sound of gushing water echo through the stillness of the bathroom. You let your fingers glide through the water as you waited for the perfect temperature. As the water slowly filled the hot tub, You began squeezing a good amount of soap into the water. you turned back to Jungkook.

“Do you need help undressing?” You asked, turning to look at him and capping the bottle shut. He was slow with his response but eventually shook his head at you. Nibbling on his bottom lip, he firmly grabbed his knees and simply got up to his feet with a small grunt to start undressing himself.

However, perhaps he overestimated himself. His heavy body swayed as he stood up, quickly losing its equilibrium, making you panic. You hastily grasped his torso to balance him. He gently rested his freezing hand on top of yours, making your hand twitch a little.

Your eyes ventured to his veiny hand for the first time. Fresh bruises adorned his knuckles, overlapping older scars with newly tinted red blemishes and cuts. It all came from the intense boxing sessions with his trainer.

You sighed, making sure he was securely planted to the ground before releasing him.

You decided it was clearly best to help him undress. He tried to help as you pulled his black T-shirt over his head. He very slowly and carefully slipped his grey sweatpants off.

You went to hang his shirt and sweats behind the door as he carefully took it upon himself to climb into the warm water.

You almost had a heart attack when you heard a squeak from the tub, followed by a low grunt. You whipped your head around in fear, thinking he was about to trip, only to see him slowly and shakily sinking beneath the steaming water. He noticed your panic, mumbling a quick sorry your way, holding his hand up to show you he’s fine.

He quietly settled himself in, spreading his legs out and let the blanket of warmth seep into his skin and relax his tensed muscles. The sweet scent of vanilla from the soap was just as pleasant. His favourite scent. Vanilla.

His hooded eyes then trailed over to your figure, still fully clothed to his disappointment. He lifted his hand from the water, fingers motioning you to come closer.

“Come.” He beckoned, his body already glistening in the water. You nodded at him in reassurance.

“Coming.” You replied breathily, slowly beginning to disregard your clothing as well. Jungkook began running the water through his dark locks, pushing it backwards and away from his forehead. The cool air nipped at your bare skin as you hung your clothes and undergarments behind the door next to his.

He slowly scooted backwards, giving you a snug space between his legs to rest between. You eased yourself into the comfort of the water. You let out a long awaited exhale of your own at the euphoric feeling of being enveloped by the heat. You let your back meet his hard and naked chest, the water soothing your tired skin. You rested your head under his chin and closed your eyes.

However, you didn’t linger in this position for long. You maneuvered yourself to turn around and face him, the water softly swaying back and forth from your movement. Jungkook’s hazy gaze had curiously lowered to your face now. You wrapped your arms around him and reached up to press your wet lips against his. He instantly responded, squeezing his eyes shut as both your mouths moved perfectly in sync. His warm tongue darted out to trail over the softness of your bottom lip.

To his dismay, you were the first to break kiss. He shuddered a little, feeling a small flutter of your warm breath brush against his neck as your head lowered. It sent a delightful shiver in his body. His sensory feelings became wildly heightened, his body practically buzzing from the alcohol. You rested your cheek against his wet chest, further prompting him to wrap his arms around you, keeping your bare skins flush against each other. Jungkook closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the edge of the tub. Relishing in this intimate moment. He cracked a small smile for the first time as he felt your fingertips softly tracing the outlines of his tattoos. You grazed over the swirly patterns in fascination. He loved the delicate feel of your touch, it sent a pleasurable tingle down his spine.

“Which one’s your favourite?” He asked you thoughtfully.

“Hm?” You glanced at his shut eyes for a moment, watching a peaceful expression fall over his features for the first time tonight. You were glad. You could finally let out a small breath of relief.

“I like the tiger lily.” You whispered, fingers brushing over the shaded petals of the flower. You reached up to plant a quick kiss on his chin.

Jungkook’s bleary eyes peeled open once again, transfixing on down at you.

A comfortable silence had fallen upon you both. The only sound was the soft breaths warming that fanned each other’s wet skin and the trickling water that trailed off your bodies with every small movement.

Jungkook’s hand was limply resting against your rib cage. His breath began evening out, making you believe he had fallen asleep. It made you also close your eyes, letting yourself bask in the serenity for a few minutes.

Your eyes fluttered back open as you felt the teasing trail of his touch start to sneak below your waist. His fingers softly kneaded the skin of your hip, pinching it between his long fingers. Your senses had suddenly heightened considerably. It was like you could feel every shaky breath he exhaled against your hair. Every brush of his fingers on your skin, and every slight movement of his body.

“Y/n.” He grunted softly. You expectantly looked up to to him. He held the back of your head with his hand, pushing your face closer to his. His wet hair letting beads of water droplets fall on to your skin. You shivered as you felt his hot lips against your ear.

“Straddle me.” He quietly command into your ear.

You silently shifted your position. He watched as you dragged your legs through the water on either side of him. Now sitting on his thighs, you simply waited.

“So obedient for me.” He murmured in delight, his hand fondly caressing your hair. The praise sent a pleasant shiver down your spine. His large hands now rested on your thighs, almost taking up its entirety. He squeezed the flesh while his clouded eyes now carefully bore into yours.

“I know you love it when I praise you.”

His voice had changed. His touch became sly, beginning to slowly venture a little higher up. Now residing at the tender flesh of your inner thighs. You waited it out for a second, trying to see what he was planning on doing. You couldn’t deny that the air in the room had suddenly shifted.

Your breath hitched when his finger, out of no where, casually flicked the small bundle of nerves of your clit. It elicited your hips to jerk from the sensitive tingle that excited your body. You grasped his wrist before he did anything else. He chuckled a little at your reaction.

“Jungkook. Not when you’re like this.” You hesitantly shook your head.

“Shh.” He reprimanded you a little, pressing his finger firmer on to your nub, making you gulp from suppressing a whimper. The alcohol in his veins mixed with the lustful thoughts only drove his libido further.

“Let me just make you feel good. That’s all I want.” He spoke, that somber look in his eye had been taken over with a burning desire.

His fingers began softly gliding back and forth between your folds, the water making it so much more smooth and easier for him to enter. It made you let out a small sigh against his chest at the shivering pleasure. You didn’t realize how much being in the water made this even more enjoyable. You also didn’t realize that your face had hidden itself back against his chest. He could feel your laboured pants fluttering against his skin.

“Let me see your face.” He lowly slurred from above. You obediently uncovered your heated face from the confinement.

Before you could even look at him, the sight of your reddened cheeks instantly made the blood go straight to his cock. Jungkook thickly swallowed as his dick rose up and hardened. He quickly delved his face down to capture your lips in his.

He moaned into your mouth as both your lips sensually enveloped one another. Through the steamy movements of your lips, his finger slowly began sinking inside your warm walls. You enticingly whimpered against his open mouth, an ache of pleasure quickly blossoming in your stomach as he kept pushing until only his knuckle was peaked out. His single finger began gently thrusted in and out of you. Your mouth hung open, broken gasps coming out as you grasped his arm, fingertips pressing hard into the flesh.

“My sensitive baby.” He cooed gently at you, pressing his lips to your temple. “Do you want more?”

Too absorbed by the way his slender finger twisted and turned in your clenching walls, you could barely form a coherent sentence.

“Hm?” He urged at your lack of response, your eyes distractedly screwed shut as he swirled his finger inside you.

“Yes. More.” You mewled out followed by a thick swallow from the searing pleasure.

He enveloped your wet lips into his once again, his already slow mind suddenly more intoxicated by the feel of your petal-soft lips. He swore he could kiss you all day. A whine bubbled past your lips and against Jungkook’s as his fingertip began firmly rubbing a spongy spot within your walls. It made you twitch in his hold.

“There it is.” He spoke cockily all of a sudden. His finger cruelly continued to stroke the soft tissue, making you writhe in his lap from the sensitivity.

He couldn’t help to let out a low groan at the sight before him. His already half-lidded eyes darkened in deep desire as he gazed at your pretty little cunt stuffed with his finger. Your hips, so achingly close to his raging cock was all that was clouding his mind. You were in the midst of your tummy beginning to coil when he abruptly slipped his finger out of you.

You tried to hide the way your body slacked in disappointment. Your unfocused mind trying to make sense of what just happened and why. You blinked at him.

“Hold on, baby.” He mumbled at your perplexed expression, grabbing his raging hard cock and pumping it in his hand a few times. He looked down at himself, aligning the tip towards your inviting entrance. His hands fumbled a bit, struggling to align it in the water. You were quivering in his arms at the anticipation.

Your shaky breath made him look back to you, and place another soft kiss to your cheek as if to calm you down. The gesture made your heart melt. That even when he was so drunk and out of his mind, he was still so loving. This was how you knew he was not like his father.

You felt it prodding your entrance and he grunted as he slowly pushed in, tightly gritting his teeth together. You clawed at his taut shoulder muscles at the slippery glide of his length filling you up so perfectly.

You then cried out as he instantly started his consistent pace, thrusting up into you with shallow breaths and growls escaping his parted lips.

The warm water you both were engulfed in began to slosh back and forth, the swishing sounds fell deaf to Jungkook’s ears. His mind to occupied by your delicious walls dragging against his throbbing dick and gripping him like vice. Whereas, it caught your attention as a particular hard thrust made the water finally climb over the rim and spill on to the floor.

“Th-the water.” You mustered out through blissful pants. Your worry-filled nature taking over.

Jungkook didn’t let your attention linger on it for too long. He grasped your face between his large hands, forcing your eyes to meet his. His pace quickened, practically ramming into your tight walls, making your quivering lips part and jaw open as you moaned out.

“Focus on me. Only me.”

He suddenly looked almost feral. Strands of his drenched hair hung over his darkly hooded eyes, waving back and forth from the force his movement. There were still beads of water dripping from their tips. His thumb brushed over your cheeks. The tender action contrasting his gruff tone.

He was pleased by the way you shrilled out his name, practically clawing his shoulder from his cock ramming so deliciously into you. Along with his heavy balls slamming against your tender skin. Your nails were digging deep into his shoulder, making him wince a little. But Jungkook didn’t care at all. What was pleasure without a little pain?

He then planted his hands firmly on your hips, mounting you in place from jostling. He pursed his lips in determination, eyebrows knitting together as his hips began roughly thrusting up into your pulsating core in a much direct and sharper way. He threw his head back, a guttural groan rumbling out his mouth at the new impact. Also since you were seated straight on top of him, you were completely impaled by his length. His dick practically molded inside you. You also cried out from the sharp movements. As he drilled his cock so deep in inside you, his engorged tip nudged a particular deep spot within you that was usually untouched, making you flinch in his tight grasp at the foreign toe-curling feeling. He caught on to that immediately, glancing up at you and tightening his grip on your hips.

“Oh, you liked that?” He slurred, a lazy grin on his face as he kept driving his hips upwards, and began roughly abusing that one spot to continually send shockwaves throughout your spoiled body. He looked pleased by your fuck-out state.

Your breasts also moved with the momentum, which instantly caught Jungkook’s attention. One hand eagerly reached out to fondle your breast, pinching your nipple between his fingers. You cried out from the doubled stimulation. Without a second thought, his head dipped down to envelop your perky nipple in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around, groaning against your supple and swollen mounds as he felt himself reaching his peak.

You also knew he was close from the way his thrusts lost rhythm. Now sloppily ramming into you, greedily plunging his thick cock into your slick walls as if trying to chase his high.

“Close?” He whispered, and you weakly nodded.

“Y-yes.”

“Always such a good girl for me.” He chuckled, although his voice straining. He wounded his hand into your wet hair, fingers tightly tangling the strands as he felt your slick walls fluttering for release around his throbbing cock. “Come for me then, baby.”

Finally with one hard thrust, the pleasure burst inside you like electrical surges. You moaned out a loud curse at the strong waves and nestled your buzzing face further into Jungkook’s neck. You felt the tickle of his wet hair against your forehead.

You think he also came at the same time as you, considering his harsh grunt that echoed in the bathroom. Also the way his grip on your hair had tightened considerably. You bit back a hiss at the rough yank, feeling your scalp sting but too blinded by the pleasure to be bothered by it.

His skin tingled when you pressed a small kiss against the wet skin of his nape. On his little black mole that you loved. His limp shaft had slipped out of you.

He lowly hummed in delight. Although you couldn’t hear it, you felt the vibration from his chest against your breasts.

“My beautiful girl.” He rumbled out huskily as if still high in the clouds of euphoria while his hand soothingly rubbed up and down your back making you relax. “Did I make you feel good?” He dragged out blissfully.

“Yeah.” You responded in the midst of your pants. “Did I make you feel good?”

“You always make me feel good.” He whispered wistfully.

At that, you melted into his embrace, your body completely spent.

The high that he was currently feeling was almost putting him to sleep, his head almost lulling to the side. Eyes closing once again. You quietly drummed your fingertips against his chest, creating a choppy pattern for no reason as your breath evened out. You eventually quirked your head up again to gaze at his satiated features.

You noticed how his melancholic expression had dampened a bit. He sensed your stare, opening his droopy eyes to lock on to yours again. You sweetly smiled at him and his own lips slightly curled at you, making your heart soar at the sight.

“How are you feeling?” You brought up.

“Better. With you here.” He mumbled dazedly, grasping your hair between his fingers. He nuzzled his nose into your hair, inhaling your sweet scent. His arm lazily slung around your shoulders, squeezing you even closer against his wet skin. Your breath knocked out of you as he kept pressing you tighter, making your chest weigh heavily from the constriction.

“J-Jungkook. Your squeezing me.” Your light chuckle barely mustered past your lips, due to the way his large body smothered you.

“Oh. Sorry.” His hold on you loosening a bit, letting you inhale softly.

“God, Jungkook. Please stop apologizing.”

He nibbled the inside of his cheeks.

“I’m just scared you’re gonna run away from me,” He confessed to you in hushed secrecy. Like saying it out loud would trigger it to become reality. “And I just hate myself for doing this to you. I hate it.” He whispered harshly.

You stayed quiet for a minute, your softened eyes scanning his scrunched up features. You could tell he was angry with himself.

“I-I just can’t control it.”

Your gaze on him softened. “You can control it, Jungkook. I’ll help you control it. You’re not alone because I’m right here every step of the way.” You balled your hands into small fists and rested them against his chest. “This is your life. You have to be the one to take a hold of it and gear it wherever you want to go. You can’t let anything control you like this. You’re so much stronger than this.” You continued.

“And I’m not gonna run away.” You spoke seriously.

Jungkook’s heart still ached terribly. He was also only human, and sometimes, he didn’t understand his own emotions and so he couldn’t explain them well, either. All he knew was he just felt very strongly.

“You’re the one good thing left in my life,” He choked out, the tears already starting to brim his eyes. “And I’m so scared of losing you from how much of a fool I am.”

You felt your eyes swelling up, the emotions bubbling up so quickly inside you. You reached out to cup his face with both your hands, directly boring your eyes into his doleful dark ones to show him your utmost sincerity. Just how much you meant your words.

“I love you, Jungkook. I will always love you. This doesn’t change anything. You’re a kind man, and you always will be.” Your voice wavered at the end from the bubbling emotion crawling up your throat. “You’re so much more than just this.”

Jungkook shook his head slightly, his face distorting like he was about to cry. He continued to fight the tears brimming his waterline. He knit his eyebrows together, his mind putting him in a cruel conflict with himself.

“Am I really just like my father?”

Jungkook’s dilemma always made your head spin a little. A while back he was desperately convincing you he was nothing like his father. But now his insecurities resurfaced and now he’s asking you if he truly is like his father or not.

However, you frantically shook your head at his words. “No, no you’re not. You haven’t hurt me— You’d never hurt me like that. You’re so different from him, Jungkook. You’re so gentle and so loving. It’s not even worth comparing.” Jungkook couldn’t be farther from the truth. You just wished he would believe it. You didn’t know how else to show it to him.

“Are you sure?” His words were so soft and broken at the end that it was almost incoherent. You eagerly nodded at him.

“I’m so sure. I’ve never been more sure.” You choked out from your own vulnerability gripping your throat in a vice.

You shifted from underneath him, the once warm water was lukewarm as it swayed back and forth from your movement. You both held each other for a few more minutes before his low voice spoke up again.

“I think we should get out now.” He rasped, reading your mind although his body showed no sign or desire to move. You hummed in agreement.

“Let’s go to bed?” You suggested tiredly, silently thinking to yourself about how this night had not turned out the way you imagined. He continued to run his fingers through your soft tresses, distractedly watching the strands slowly fall back down over your shoulder. He slowly nodded.

It had taken you some time to get him prepped for bed. You wrapped a robe around both your naked forms. Also taking same fresh clothes for him to slip into. His heavy body still staggered a bit so you hovered your hands around him to make sure he was properly guided to the bed.

You also had to ignore the strings of ‘sorry’ that slipped past his lips every time his balance stumbled a little which would startle you.

The heavy rain had now turned into a full fledged thunderstorm. With low claps of thunder echoing and flashes of lightning igniting a bright light in the window.

“Thank you,” He spoke as he was now seated safely on the bed. The apologetic look on his face still remained. He gripped your wrist before you could venture to change your own clothes, and he pulled you lower for a chaste kiss on the lips. “...For everything.” He mumbled after pulling away.

“You promised to always take care of me, and you never failed. It’s time I returned the favour.” You calmly spoke over a clap of thunder. Your fingers went to brush his wet, dark strands out of his eyes.

You then noticed something from the corner of your eye. Since your attention had solely been on Jungkook, you didn’t even notice the brown glass bottle on the nightstand. You curiously eyed the bottle of whiskey more than half empty standing quite tall and proud. He followed your eyes and noticed you observing it and then looked back to you.

“I-“

You quickly shook your head, holding your hand out to stop him from finishing. You already sensed what he was about to say. At that signal, Jungkook tightly pursed his lips together, although his regretful eyes poured out the words for him. I’m sorry.

“I’m gonna throw this away.” You took the bottle in your hands, observing it for a few seconds as the thick glass weighed heavily in your small hands. You left the room to quickly drain the rest in the sink, the pungent smell clogging your nose. You discarded the bottle in the trash. You never thought in a million years this is what you’d be having to do. This whole situation felt a little surreal to you. But you weren’t complaining at all.

You walked back into the bedroom to see Jungkook had already tucked himself into bed. He was laid flat on his back with his head turned away from you. He was solemnly peering out the window, looking a little emotionless for the first time. His lips were pursed together in a thin line. He watched thick trails of the rain droplets racing down the glass.

The sound of the heavy rain was comforting. You figured Jungkook also felt the same way.

After all that happened, it was as if it slowly washed away all the struggles of tonight.

You grew this endearing habit over time of always sleeping in Jungkook’s shirts. You plucked out a brown and purple flannel from Jungkook’s drawer, and slipped on some of your own cotton shorts. After putting the fluffy white robe away and turning the dim-lit lamp off, the room was now enveloped in darkness. You climbed under the soft covers.

A comfortable silence fell amongst the both of you as you snuggled into the blanket with him. You both laid flat on your backs, shoulders delicately brushing while your eyes stared up at the blank white ceiling. Your mind was currently absorbed by the sound of the heavy rainfall outside. A low growl rippled through the sky every few minutes, along with a sudden flash of light illuminating the dark room.

You tensed a little when a particularly loud sound rumbled through the sky. Followed by a second, deep guttural crack of thunder. It was probably the loudest of the night. Jungkook felt the way your muscle stiffened. He turned his head to look over at you.

“Are you scared?” He asked.

“No.” You breathed softly, a hint of a smile playing at your lips as your body instantly relaxed. “You know I love thunderstorms. I just got surprised a little.”

His attention didn’t falter from your face. Although it was dark, the warm light coming from the street light outside shone inside the room, so his eyes could still trail over your soft features.

“By the way,” he began, “I forgot to ask you how your day was.” His voice were still dragged out and slurred, the words lazily stumbling out. A nagging reminder that the alcohol still freely lingered in his veins.

You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip a little. “It was... Tiring.” You answered honestly with a small sigh.

“And I made it worse, didn’t I?” His voice dropping a little at the thought.

“No, you didn’t.” You denied immediately. A slight pout adorned your lips at his constant self-deprecation.

The dullest spark returned in his eye as you scooted closer to him. He instinctively held out his arm for you, letting your head rest on his bicep. You curled an arm around his torso, further scooting your head upwards until it rested on his shoulder.

“I was excited to get home to you. I was missing you a lot.” You told him honestly.

“Hm. I was too.” He replied, you felt the vibration of his low tone under your arm over his chest. He placed a chaste kiss at the top of your head. However, he looked a bit distracted as his mind wandered.

Jungkook didn’t like how his mind made him feel so small. He didn’t like how his mind took control of him so easily. He didn’t like feeling victimized to his mind all the time. Victimized to his father all the time, even though he was no longer in the picture. That wretched man was always bound to rot in jail. But Jungkook hated how even then, he still took up a microscopic part of his mind. Jungkook wanted to be strong. He wanted to fight and never stop. But most of all, he wanted to do it with you standing right beside him. With you cheering him with that mesmerizing smile of yours.

“Y/n?” He hesitated after a few minutes.

“Hm?”

“Will you please... Promise me one thing?” He whispered.

“Yes?”

He swallowed the thick lump in his throat, closing his red, puffy eyes filled with all his secret woes.

“Will you please...” His hopeful eyes glinting in the darkness. “Stay with me forever?”

Your lashes fluttered a few times at what he said, trying to take it in. “Kookie...” You called his name out with a small sigh. The endearing nickname making his eyes gloss over again as he calmly waited.

Your own eyes began to water a little. You didn’t like this side of Jungkook. Jungkook was someone who was always confident in himself. You never caught him second guessing himself or even stuttering in decisions. So seeing him crack under the pressure of his own mind greatly tugged at your heart strings. He secretly put himself through a lot. It’s natural for anyone to become a victim of their own thoughts. Of course, you would choose to support him and be by his side in a heartbeat. You didn’t even need to think about it.

You knew you were meant to be with Jungkook forever.

And so with your fingers fiddling with the soft cotton of his shirt, you tilted your head up to look him straight in the eye completely unwaveringly. His now hopeful eyes peering down at you.

“I promise forever and ever.”

~~~~~~~~~

(A/n): Hi everyone! Hope you all enjoyed 💜

What did you guys think? Feedback is highly appreciated! 🥰

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