Intoxicated

A blog about my whereabouts and mind spills. Still finding for Romeo. X

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Loving someone is setting them free, letting them go.

Kate Winslet

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San Antonio, Bacolor November 27, 2015

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Funny how we try to forget the things we'd always remember.

The irony of forgetting

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Rainy nights bring endless flashback of memories.

That’s why I don’t wanna sleep and I don’t wanna wake up; I know everything’s going to be just a dream and I’m here hanging onto mid reality.

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I can only cry silently, wipe my own tears and sob till--- I drop myself to sleep.

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You’ll always go back to the things you love doing the most, no matter how you avoid it.

If that's what your heart speaks then you’re going to the right path.

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July 14, 2015 11:02 PM 

I always have night thoughts about things bugging me. Since first year until junior year, she's been near me and I we're the closest friends in the room. There came senior high, well they say everything changes at the last moments. That's what happened to us, I concentrated on my academics and yeah, because of that I... have forgotten her. I lost her while she gained much more friends, and that's when I know I'm not in her league anymore. There were these times that we would just laugh at each other and bam... We both know that our thoughts are the same. You know, we're very much comfortable at each other that we can just laugh to the point that we couldn't handle out laughters and end up rolling on floors. Well yeah, that's true, that's us. We will send each other cards during Christmas, Valentines and send long messages if one of us celebrates her birthday. We'll walk out of the room running and yell, you're a loser! Bleh! Someone's food is yours too, that's her line when we rush our way to the canteen. I'll steal her drinks, and she'll grab my bread and eat it out, so that I can't have it. Hahahaha. But most of the time, we treat each other like siblings. I guess our bond got broken because of our priorities. Still, my heart cries when memories just pop in, out of the blue. She gave me five handwritten letters, boxes of chocolates, and I still kept the wrappers of those. We're acquainted, just that. We're no longer what I used to think of. *Sighs* I can only look at her from afar.

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You ate me whole. You never kept a part of me left when all I can think is you, and the satisfaction of your buds, your tongue, your taste. You made everything disappear, so that the only thing left is the stick. You being with me, you proving that you're 'stick' to one.

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I'm just too lazy to do anything right now.

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Take Chances

Is it just me? I wanted to do something for real to a person, I planned almost everything then even the simplest details I got them all ready - yet I just felt that I can't do it and I just threw everything away. This happened when I was a bit younger, years ago... and I regret not doing it, because someone took the courage to do the same thing (like what I've planned) and he felt so happy. I wished I did it at some point because I want to see how happy he is, when he gets surprised. There were balloons everywhere in my room then, I also bought a cake, made a card and I drew a portrait. In the end, I ate the cake myself, read the letter over and over, hanged the portrait as my display and popped all the damn ballons that were so hard to fill with air. It's such a pity that I didn't show it to him, or gave him one of those things I prepared. 

Now I would like to tell you that, no matter how small it is, how ugly or how unsophisticated your present is, never hesitate to give it to someone - there would always be joy in giving right? They would surely appreciate it, even if it looks like they don't. (My mom is that person you know, she only says thank you after I gave it to her, but she's actually touched.) Tell them those words you're dying to say, no matter how embarassing or how shameless you will look. You don't live to keep everything just for yourself, others might be waiting to hear some words from you, but you're not letting them hear you out. These things I tell you will be worth it, as they say - you would only regret the chances you didn't take. Take a step up! Go for it!

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You love so much that it breaks you. You love so much that you let it break you even more. You love so much that you keep yourself broken, when you were already healed and still loving those scars he left.

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To be honest, tho I’m not really honest sometimes, I always look after what our family is, or how important my family is to me. Like, were not the type of family you see on tv we don’t hug each other, we don’t kiss neither. You know, even saying “I love you”, I can’t remember when was the last time I said it to my parents. Because apparently it would be akward, (unbelievable), and surprising for them, they don’t say they love me either but you know, they know, how much you love each other - you just can’t say it easily. Whenever I look at them, I don’t know I get stings and I feel like they’re the most important people in my life - please make them stay longer with me.

This thing seemed so significant that I wrote it down.

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When you leave, please take your memories away with you.

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You should always set high hopes for things to happen. Though they may be really hard to do or deal with, you should be hopeful. Don't lose the drive that you have within yourself. Don't be lonely when you feel that you're not doing enough. Just keep going, keep the ball rolling.

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June 19, 2015 11:41 PM

I watched hachiko today, I know I'm a bit outdated because that movie was released last 2009, I don't have much time to watch it, and earlier this evening I did. The movie was so sad, you know at the beginning there was a cute dog in a Japanese monk's temple then it was brought somewhere then it got transferred to America from Japan. The dog was so cute that I wanted to own one, seriously. The dog was in his cage when it got thrown out in a rail road station, someone gets this cage and then he brings it to his home. That's all I can narrate haha, I can't be a spoiler, but believe me I was holding back my tears because my Ate was with me. I realized so much things. Watch the movie, it's really good that it makes you want to own a dog. 

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She was actually his book, but he was just merely a page on hers.

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Find out the thing that you really love, you shouldn't push yourself too hard for one thing that you aren't capable of just for the sake of compatibility, because that's plain stupidity.