“—it was painful but you weren't hurting.”
In your lifetime, you've got your heart broken many times by different men who were all alike. You were treated by them the same so the pain that broke you didn't hurt anymore as you got used to it by time. They come and go. The wound in your heart stopped hurting because the pain felt the same. It felt empty because no matter who you met, they felt the same. Then you met him, the man who was warm and bright. The man whom you knew you shouldn't get involved with. He was too bright, your chaos was buried in the dark. He was too warm, you started to feel alive. You craved for the person he was, but that was when you felt the danger. He wasn't like them. He wasn't like the people you met in the past, you didn't know how to deal with him. The wound was hurting so bad as it started to close— it was healing. His light brought you to see the beauty and worth of your life. His warmth melted the cold that embraced your heart. You were not used to it. It was painful but you weren't hurting. He was reaching for your hand, but you were scared. You knew if he held you, you'd lose it. You'd lose yourself in the beauty he brought you. You were afraid you might start to cling onto everything you gave up and let go. You were afraid that he would treat you right and that you wouldn't have any reason to leave him behind. No. You were afraid that if you let yourself lose to him, he might not let you go.
-c.m // 210731
