The ‘Am I being a transphobe in this fandom’ masterpost.
So, I don’t know about the other trans people here, but I am tired of getting the same questions over and over again. Partially because I’ve already answered them many times and it is very boring, and partially because its very typical for cis people to expect trans people to do emotional labor for them and tell them how gender works, instead of, you know, using google.
Here are the questions I tend to get every time Harry does anything that plays with gender, and here are the answers. I fully expect Harry is only going to get more confident and bold over time, so here are the answers for those who want them (even though I suspect those people who really need to read this, will not).
This post is going to be long, I apologise in advance.
1. You are forcing a gender identity onto Harry:
The ONLY people forcing a gender identity onto Harry are those who are insisting he is definitely cis.
I have never seen a trans person in this fandom say that he is definitely trans. We are simply saying he MIGHT be trans or MIGHT be questioning. I am perfectly happy for him to be cis. I am also perfectly happy for him to be trans.
What is actually problematic is saying Harry is 100 percent cis when he has never, ever said that, and when he is clearly playing with gender to some degree. Cis is not the default gender (just like ‘straight’ is not the default sexuality).
It is harmful to say that Harry must certainly be cis until proven otherwise. This view treats trans identities as ‘other’ and almost implies it is somehow deeply offensive to be viewed as potentially trans. It is not remotely harmful to say ‘we should leave room for the idea that Harry could be trans or questioning until proven otherwise.’
2. I am happy for him to be trans but I think he is definitely cis until he says he isn’t:
Once again, cis is not the default gender and to behave as if it is, is something we call ‘cissexist’.
To quote Healthline: ‘Cissexism operates as a subtle web of ideas that many people hold based on the assumption that all people are cisgender. Because this assumption is so deeply ingrained in our society, many people say and do things that are cissexist without realizing it.’
Trans people can be closeted. Trans people are still trans and still valid even if you don’t know they are trans. Further, people can go through extensive periods of questioning their gender, and being questioning is valid.
It may well be that Harry is cis, but to ASSUME he is when he is this blatantly experimenting in some way, is to be cissexist. He does not need to come out to you in order for you to be a decent person, and leave space for the idea that right now, we don’t truly know what his gender may be. You approaching human beings with the idea that they are cis until proven otherwise, is inherently transphobic.
3. Harry uses he/him pronouns and is sometimes referred to as a man, he is therefore cis:
Non-binary people use the pronouns that ‘match’ the gender they were assigned at birth, all of the time. A non-binary person who was born male may use he/him, they/them/, she/her etc in any combination. That does not make them not trans. Genderqueer people may have a day where they are feeling very much like a man and a day where they are feeling very much like a woman, or a day where they feel neither.
Also, once again, closeted people exist. I use the pronouns he/him and they/them, but I am not out to everyone I know. Those people use she/her for me, and just because I’m not out, it does not mean that is any less painful or their assumption that I am cis is any less damaging.
4. It is regressive to say that Harry may be trans because he is wearing a dress/feminine clothing:
kianamaiart
izzy806
jacobvanloon
snowghoul
