Just a BMW Girl Livin in a GMW World

Communication is to relationship what breathing it to maintaining life. Be kind. Do good.

[myblackdelusion]

My Diet Plan

💙My workouts💙

💙400 jumping jacks

💙300 crunches

💙200 squats

💙40 push-ups

💙Spread throughout the day

💙do this on binge days

🌱My laid-back workout🌱

🌱50 lunges

🌱50 push-ups

🌱50 squats

🌱50 sit-ups

🌱50 jumping jacks

🌱do this every day

🎀Extra rules🎀

🎀Must practice my kpop dances

🎀Exercise throughout the day

🎀18 hour hast times (eat between 12pm-6pm)

🎀Drink a minimum of three 20oz water bottles a day

🎀Picture progress - one picture a week

[lovesicklobotomy]

[ayyariana]

[letterstoleia]

[kindredelephants]

[canadian--mama-deactivated20180]

Does this ever get easier 😔💔

[borntooearlyborntoosmall]

So true 😢💔

[writterings]

fun fact about american history: george washington was apparently so sexy that when he was 17 he went swimming a river and some girl that had a crush on him stole his clothes and watched as he walked around naked looking for them

[writterings]

aaron burr, the guy who shot alexander hamilton and also the second vice president of the united states, tried to start an empire out in texas

[writterings]

marquis de lafayette literally had to sneak out of france to come aid america and while some versions of the story claim that he disguised himself as a commoner, other versions say he dressed up like a woman

[writterings]

literally all the founding fathers had daddy issues, specifically alexander hamilton who refused to even befriend george washington initially because he didn’t want to grow close to someone who had the potential to become a father like figure to him

[writterings]

thomas jeffereson kept a bust of alexander hamilton in his house at monticello for no reason other than the fact that hamilton was his sworn enemy and he felt as though he needed a very expensive bust of his sworn enemy in his house

[pinkbat99]

I love all of this please keep going.

[writterings]

they didn’t let hamilton try this one course of study at king’s college because it was so intense that it made one student literally get sick and have to go home for months on end and that student was james madison

[chimichanga-the-cat]

One time during a battle on boats Hamilton had to swim back to shore and everyone thought he was dead so George Washington and the people who actually like Hamilton were all sitting around a table discussing his life and he just showed up dripping wet

[kdacosta1977-blog]

Miscarriage - what they don’t tell you to expect....

In the midst of my third miscarriage.  It’s horrible, devastating and shitty.   We found out dec 2, and I managed to go to 10 wks.   However the gestational sac got to 6.5 wks and shockingly the embryo got to 7 wks.   They had me save tissue and such to test, they think it’s possible my progesterone was low causing the sac to not grow well.   Lots of unknowns, but still hopeful for the future.

What has shocked me through all of this is how dr’s and nurses don’t give you info on what to expect when miscarrying at this stage.  I mean, sure they give you the spiel, you’ll bleed heavily, you will pass clots, tissue, the sac, placenta.  You will have cramps and pain, and if you fill a pad an hour for more than 2 hours go to emergency room.   That was basically it.  I was told this and given a paper with the same shit.

NO ONE TOLD ME I WAS GOING TO PASS SHIT THAT WAS THE SIZE OF A TENNIS BALL.  No one told me that the “cramps” come in the form of contractions and they come in waves.  No one told me that the amount of blood I would expell in the first two-three hours was going to be so much I was better off just sitting on the toilete and just letting it happen.  No one told me my inner thighs would feel like I exercised them for 2 hours.  No one told me that I would not go #2 until I passed all the tissue, and then when i did it would hurt and be a process.  No one told me about a lot of this stuff.   And this is just the physical part.

I guess i”m just wondering why in 2018 there isn’t more medical info that Dr’s can provide you with when this is all about to take place.  I had to google a bunch of shit to put my mind at ease by reading other women’s comments.   And I’m sure there will be women out there who read this at some point and say, oh bathroom issues are normal?  I don’t have to freak out?  great, good to know.

I think that is what I’m most angry at at this point.  I went through the I want to punch something phase about a week ago.  I have cried by myself and with my husband.   And I was super angry that we have had to go through this a third time.  It was at this point of anger that I realized how important it is to have this info for women.  I mean all three of my miscarraiges were at different weeks, and each one had different symptoms of what to expect.  This last one being the most significant in terms of what I had to pass.

I don’t know how to solve this problem.  I’m going to keep researching and seeing what I can find.  However I truly believe that Dr’s should have resources to give women, via the internet, a pamphlet, or whatever, so that they can have as much info they can to understand their miscarraige and what their bodies are going through.  This is just as important as knowing the pregnancy process.  

Maybe there is something and I just am not aware.  But Dr’s need to get with the program.  Having a miscarraige is just as much of an emotional overhaul as pregnancy is, if not more so…..

ok, rant over….back to bleeding……..

KMD

[anxiouslyawaitingbaby]

It’s strange. You keep growing in my heart. I feel your loss more now than before. Time is only cementing you into me, not helping you fade. 

[borntooearlyborntoosmall]

So true 😢💔

[fine-imperfection-deactivated20]

No one tells you

No one tells you that it’s a possibility. No one tells you that it will make an impact on your life. No one tells you that it’s an excruciating pain. No one tells you that you will feel like your heart has been ripped out. No one tells you that you’ll feel empty. No one tells you that you’ll resent your spouse. No one tells you that it will eat you alive. No one tells you that you’ll spend nights blaming yourself. No one tells you that your eyes will produce never ending tears. No one tells you that the days will go slow. No one tells you that you’ll cry whenever and wherever. No one tells you that you’ll lose your faith. No one tells you that your mind will be consumed. No one tells you that seeing one child can ruin your day. No one tells you that eventually everyone will go on with their life except you. No one tells you that it will hit you when you least expect it. No one tells you that you will lose your motivation. No one tells you how hard it is to try again. No one tells you that you’ll become jealous of those who have what you don’t. No one tells you that it’s okay to cry. No one tells you to take your time. No one tells you that it’s okay to not want to get out of bed some days. No one tells you how long you’ll be stuck. No one tells you that you will never be the same. No one tells you how traumatizing it is. No one tells you that in the back of your mind, you’ll ask ‘why?’ and ‘what if?’. No one tells you that it’s a long journey to recovery.

No one tells you that losing a child will be so hard.

They just don’t.

[keep-chasing-the-sun]

Losing you is incomparable. People cannot understand. There is nothing in this universe that I loved more than you. There is still nothing I love more…  I would have rather lost the sun than never feel you in my arms.

me

  to the baby I will never be able to meet

(via keep-chasing-the-sun)

[latotale]

I felt as if I had completely failed. I failed my baby, the baby’s father and myself. I was the one person who was made to protect this life, and I had somehow lost it. A piece of me died that day. A part of my heart went with that baby.

Shannon Anderson, Loved And Lost: My Story Of Miscarriage And The Road To Forgiveness (Elite Daily)

[letterspastmidnight]

You were almost someone once. I never met you, not really, but I miss you. You were almost mine. I love you infinitely. You were almost someone once, almost my everything.

Someone once

[atx-nerd-mom]

I don’t want another baby, I want THIS baby, the one I thought I would have, the one I started planning for, hoping for, dreaming about, talking to.

People Have Misconceptions About Miscarriage That Hurt : Shots - Health News : NPR

Amen.

(via atx-nerd-mom)

[elysianwoman-deactivated2024041]

“If you lose a baby, and nobody knew about it in the first place, does it make a sound? You’re damn right it does. And when you are brave, when you open your mouth and tell people about that hole that was punched through the center of your heart, you’ll be surprised at who comes to fill it, at how many women raise their hands and say “me, too.”

- Nora McInerry Purmont