Searching for Love

What is love?

[purplebuddhaquotes]

I mustn’t look at you too much, or I won’t be able to take my eyes off you at all.

Franz Kafka

[aznaudrey]

Don’t Give Up 😤

[love-search]

Touching your hand brightens my day,

Holding your hand makes me mighty brave,

Caressing your hand is the sweetest delight,

Your hand in mine = explosion in my mind.

[maaarine]

[love-search]

Wisdom from different generations of today’s women. 

There are as many love definitions as there are people. To each his own. 

[love-search]

Your wants, your needs, your likes.

It is your right to have your needs first communicated and then met if possible. And you know it will be my pleasure trying to meet your needs, make them happen, since I love it when I can make you happy. I am open minded, I am very adaptable person, maybe sometimes too much for my own good if I forget my needs and put them on a second place. I have trouble sometimes with my boundaries and I do work on that. And you can work on that by stating what do you want or would like to try. I already know and was amazed when you said you are low maintenance and I clearly see that is true; however it is good to explore around yourself what would you like to try just to experience how it is or if it will be any good. Do not be afraid to say: “I don’t like that you are making me do this or that, or I would like more of this or that, or I would like to do it/try tomorrow, we could do this in a different way, I think you should do/shouldn’t do this or that because I don’t like it, etc.” These are important factors that need to be considered. Think about it, let it settle down and we will see how it goes. NO pressure, as always. These writings are my suggestions and a way of saying what I think it is good to keep in mind. This shows how much a good communication means to me. 

I will probably post about communication often, since this blog is dedicated to love and relationship-related things that are important to me therefore I would like to write about them.

[love-search]

Relationship advice about fighting

By watching some videos on YouTube I came across interesting channel about relationships. I would like to expose the things I find important:

Romantic relationships have five stages:

1. Romance stage

2. Power struggle stage

3. Stability stage

4. Commitment stage

5. Co-creation/bliss stage

The romance stage can last up to two years, and it is the lovey-dovey stage when everything is fine.

The power struggle stage is where most relationships fall apart and give up. Most people either 1. break-up or 2. survive & sacrifice. However eventually you will end up breaking up because you hide your misunderstandings, you don’t resolve problems as they come.

To combat this, we have to recognise it and not just ignore it. Fighting is normal and healthy in a loving relationship as it helps resolve and understand differences.

There are usually hailstorms (person who is reactive in fights) and turtles (person who withdraws in fights) in a relationship.

Turtles often accuse hailstorms     being: needy, controlling, possessive, emotional, dramatic.

Hailstorms often accuse turtles     of being: cold, withdrawn, disconnected, stoic, aloof.

A better way to fight is to fight consciously to resolve differences and misunderstandings. Argue in a fair way so that at the end of each fight you end up feeling even more connected rather than alienated.  Learn how to listen. Learn how to be responsive emotionally. Do reflective conversations to diffuse fights. Don’t get frustrated but calm down and collect yourself, because then you can fight, talk it out in calmer manner. I strongly agree that good communication skills are required for a lasting love. 

Fight for love, it can last. You can move to the stability stage and further.

Source: YouTube Channel  LoveAtFirstFight

[tobeagenius]

[love-search]

“Our relationships are often not quite as warm and perfect as they should be. That’s perhaps because we’re comparing them with a relationship in the past to which they shouldn’t – in fairness – ever be compared.“

Love is not always lovely as life is not always nice and easy. This video focuses on our childhood and how we shape our expectations from our early age. How true is that I don’t know. Nonetheless, it is a good idea to think about. If we judge love by early childhood's standards then, just like a child, we’ll always be left wanting. 

[larmoyante]

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.

Mark Twain

Self-love and self-acceptance are vital to a good life.

[love-search]

It is easy, mostly for emotional people, to look at love from an only emotional point of view. Emotions come and go, only your - more or less - cerebral decision remains. Put down your rose-colored glasses and be more realistic my romanticists. After all, we are only human. We make mistakes, we change (or we don’t) and we need a lot of understanding and forgiveness along the way. 

“The set of ideas we can call Romanticism is responsible for making our relationships extremely difficult. We shouldn’t give up on love; we should just recognise that it’s a skill, not an emotion.”

[mark-usmiani]

[love-search]

I got you babe

[love-search]

Happy Valentine’s Day

[hoppip]

[love-search]

I neglect my blog, but I don’t neglect my beloved.

Love is not neglecting your partner. Never. 

[thepersonalquotes]

[psych-facts]

The best gift you are ever going to give someone— the permission to feel safe in their own skin. To feel worthy. To feel like they are enough.

Hannah Brencher

Happy bDay my love. Be happy, smile, think different and stay by my side.

[love-search]

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Louis de Bernières, Captain Corelli's Mandolin