Blood, Guts, and Chocolate Cake

[lakevida]

ive always wanted to try ice cubes but theyve never been within my budget before this is so exciting

[nyanletnest]

looks at you cutely

[squeakitties]

[pseudomantis]

[utopians]

Car problems are great bc I can finally get that disgusting $600 that I hated out of my bank account

[mephistopheles]

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

[mephistopheles]

500 MILES?!?!?!

[dogpuppy]

[ntrider]

giving increasingly loud sighs as I wait for my crush to ask "what's wrong?" so I can say I'm in a state of depression unless I can touch someone's boobs with no bra

[ntrider]

I stop once I start getting short of breath

[aokozaki]

[Your crush, on the phone to someone unseen] Yeah I think she needs to be put down, her breathing-- yeah I know it can be a problem for her breed, but it's getting really bad.

[ntrider]

I'M NOT A DOG??????

[aokozaki]

[clearly less interested now] Oh.

[ntrider]

wait! au au

[aokozaki]

[walking over the distant horizon, towards the West]

[ntrider]

AU AU!!! AU AU!!!!! 😭

[pnglove]

[grundoonmgnx]

Lindsay Merrill (American b. 1987), Untitled, 2026

Oil on canvas, 41 ⅞ x 55 ⅞ in

[lustcannibalism]

ok I endured it. now what!!!!!!!!!

[lustcannibalism]

[pankendev]

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This is why you shouldn't take off The Amulet to shower.

[parkayquarts]

little girl in the checkout line was freaking the FUCK out reaching for a shelf and screaming "GIMMEEEE GIMMEEEEE" at the top of her lungs and the mom kept saying "no 🫩" and I look at the shelf expecting there to be candy or something and it was full of batteries

[speedlimit15]

[black-pill-becky-deactivated202]

hitting you hitting you hitting you hitting you hi-

[lesbianredpanda]

[bimmyjimmy]

We were cuddling and i went to take a picture of us but he got overstimulated and bit my cheek

[lakevida]

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

[iheartcilia]

I would have said clit if I was her

[lakevida]

you keep your clitoris in a plastic bag?

[bogleech]

Why are there just blobs of fake rubber meat that a bunch of unrelated microbes can build in the dirt but they've only ever been found in china and can't be classified any further than "biological objects"

[bromdebus]

“These ugly looking creatures”