Hi there! Love your blog and analysis so much. I really agree with most of your thoughts on why John & Paul broke up, but it seems so clear to me: if their relationship meant so much to both of them why didn't they, at some point, talk about it? Or otherwise pause and not move forward (with marriages, band breakup etc.) until they figured things out?
I guess communication is the classic relationship problem, and I've never been in one so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. I can see how it would be hard and awkward but...longterm it would be so worth it. Life here on earth is short. Do you think if John had lived, they eventually might have talked more about their relationship/love with each other?
Also, what are your thoughts on the view that they really were/are close friends only, that all this McLennon stuff is blown out of proportion?
Hello! First of all, we don’t know to what extent they actually talked about it. I suspect they talked more than we think, even though they obviously had communication problems. The reality is that, no matter how much John and Paul loved each other, talking straightforwardly about their feelings honestly and openly was always going to be awkward and difficult, especially at that time (though I do think that if John had lived, they would have become more open about it over the years). I think they did talk to some extent, just not enough. They seemed to prefer expressing these things through songs. I also think they both knew, deep down, that the nature and intensity of their relationship wasn’t going to be sustainable over time in the world they were living in. They understood that things would change once both of them settled down. I think Paul, especially, was aware of this, even though I believe he would have liked to maintain the status quo for as long as possible. You can see this in his behavior during the days before his wedding; he wasn't really eager to just move on. You can also see it in how hurt he was when he saw John becoming so intensely bonded to Yoko. He felt so left out that he rushed into marriage himself, by his own admission — which, as you know, in turn made John rush to get married as well. Everything suggests that they were both impulsive people who tended to make big decisions quickly when they felt trapped or felt that the situation was slipping out of their control. During that period, they were clearly trying to hurt each other with their new partners and the studio environment became extremely tense because of their emotional warfare. According to Tony Barrow, the studio became hell for a while because John and Paul were "engaging in a series of petty and childish actions" toward each other, and things "split into two opposing camps": John and Yoko on one side of the studio, and Paul and Linda on the other. Ray Connolly also said that he witnessed "bizarre and revealing moments" between John and Paul during that time. Once Yoko and Linda came into the picture they were both acting out rather than talking directly. So whatever they did discuss about their relationship before it came to this was obviously not very substantial. Even though their bond meant the world to them, once things started spiraling, they both tried to move on quickly, and to show the other that they had moved on. I think they both regretted moving on so fast. You can see traces of this in This One: “What kind of magic might have worked if we had stayed calm? Couldn’t I have given you a better life?” I personally think these lyrics reflect that situation: Paul looking back in time and feeling that they could have handled things differently so that the late-60s breakup wouldn’t have been so painful. Maybe they could have talked things through, found a compromise, or slowed down instead of rushing. It reminds me of how Paul tried to move on after Linda’s death. Even though he was still grieving her deeply, he got into a relationship rather quickly. Some people cope by acting quickly rather than pausing and giving themselves time to process. And they often regret it later.
As for people who think they were just "close friends" and that everything else is “blown out of proportion,” well, everyone is entitled to their opinion. None of us were there, so no one can know anything for certain unless Paul himself speaks openly about it. But even if they never "slept together", there is a great deal of evidence from both sides that the emotional connection went far beyond ordinary friendship. We know from Yoko herself that she immediately noticed the emotional intensity between John and Paul when she began attending studio sessions. She has said that she strongly suspected that John's feelings for Paul were romantic, and she (and John himself hinted at it) has said many times that he was attracted to men. Around the same time, Paul’s girlfriend, Francie, also noticed the intensity from Paul’s side. She has been very direct in saying that she believed Paul was in love with John and was jealous of Yoko because of this. Whatever people think of her, she was the first insider to hint at something deeper than friendship between John and Paul. And that intense jealousy had appeared even earlier, during John’s relationship with Stu. Paul’s girlfriend at that time, Dot, said that Paul literally "hated" Stuart because of his closeness with John, and Paul himself said he had a "deadly rivalry" with him because of this. And multiple people noticed it (even Cynthia); the feeling was so strong that Paul wasn't even subtle about it. I don't even have to bring up the examples of John showing jealousy toward some of Paul’s girlfriends, especially Linda. And just take a look at how both John and Paul also hinted repeatedly that once John committed to Yoko, he couldn’t keep Paul in the same emotional space — that he had to “purge” Paul from his mind and "let go of his old emotions", so he could get rid of "the spectre" of Paul. That doesn’t really sound like what John felt for Paul and the space he had occupied in his heart before Yoko was that of just a close friend. And how often have you heard someone saying they rushed into marriage because they felt so left out by their best friend’s intense bond with a new romantic partner? That kind of reaction isn’t 100% impossible in a platonic situation, but it feels highly unlikely, especially when you take into account a lot of other things.
Then there are the songs. I agree that many interpretations go too far, and I've seen many analyses of lyrics on here that don't sound convincing to me. But there are simply too many songs that seem to be about them communicating with each other and about their relationship, and many of them suggest a bond deeper than friendship (Jealous Guy, No Words, I Know (I Know), This One, Arrow Through Me, Let Me Roll It, Lonely Road, Starting Over, However Absurd, etc.) There are also lines in confirmed songs like Here Today and Too Many People that hint at it too (“Now what can be done for you? She’s waiting for me…”, “We were playing hard to get”). The number of songs they seem to have written about each other is huge, and it tells you everything you need to know about how important they were in each other’s lives and how intense their bond was. It makes it hard to argue that they simply saw each other as close friends. In fact, the extent of it is so significant that Paul himself often seems self-conscious and uncomfortable whenever he’s asked about songs he wrote about John. He tends to be evasive, vague and sometimes outright misleading (for example, claiming that Here Today was the first song he "ever" wrote about John, or that only one line of Too Many People was about John). He has also said that John never responded to his songs. He clearly isn’t comfortable acknowledging the full extent of it, likely because doing so would feel too revealing and leave him emotionally exposed. He has said that he’s a private person (adding, "Why should people know my innermost feelings?"), and that his songs are the place where he puts his feelings and bits of truths about his life; he has said this many times. So reading into his and John's songs is always a good idea if we want to know more about their relationship.
And besides the songs, there are countless other things that imply a relationship far deeper than freindship. Many people in the broader fandom already accept that John had romantic feelings for Paul; they just believe Paul didn’t feel the same. I’ve addressed that question here. I’d also recommend reading this.
