Yesterday was awesome. I had energy and got alot of stuff done and even re-arranged our bedroom! It feels a little lop-sided but its a nice change.
Today I didn’t do as much because I felt a little weird with the time change still and needed a nap in the middle of the day but all in all it was okay.
I have to say its hard having anxiety not only because of being in a constant state of worry with a very busy mind but also with trying to keep my medication in check to make sure I am not a walking zombie or a manic mess. There is a fine line between feeling calm and relaxed and not wanting to do literally anything or feeling happy and energetic but not rolling my eyes back in my head crazy.
I am wondering if it has to do with the fact that I suffer from depression too, so maybe sometimes they cross over a little. Idk but I have tried to go see my therapist a few times and they keep saying I didn’t make an appointment or that my paperwork wasn’t right and that they can’t see me for a month so it doesn’t happen.That of course normally makes things worse because I get all thrown off schedule. I have also tried to see new therapists and I haven’t gotten any response from multiple different places. Like, okay. I have anxiety and depression and this is a pretty big deal for me to even be trying to make a dr. appointment at all let alone for someone to keep messing it up or not even getting back to me. Ugh I hope its just all for a reason, maybe none of them were the right people for me anymore.
On a side note I have also tried to make multiple gynecologist appointments since I was young and for some reason they keep not happening either. So weird.
But yea I will say its nice that every time I have had some anxiety about money, I have actually been given a resource to alleviate it. Like selling clothes for more then I thought they would be worth, getting another dog sitting job or getting an odds and ends job that someone pays me for. So that’s nice.
I did a couple of basic command training this with my pup to see how much he remember and honestly he does well with the standard sit, lay down, stay and come so we shall see how he is with some new stuff.
On to other things!
So I dowloaded the Mystic Monday tarot app and honestly I just really haven’t been vibing with it at all. Like, none of the readings have seemed accurate for any of the days I’ve used it. It kind of makes me want to go back the the first tarot app I was using called Golden Thread Tarot that I had uninstalled because I felt like it was kind of negative. But at least it was on point for what I was going through day to day. Maybe I also need to look at it in references to smaller things since a daily read, not for a certain question or life debacle.
------I just re-downloaded it and my daily card read was The Hierophant which can represent the pursuit of knowledge(I have been learning about dog training as well as researching a few other things today) as well as a spirit guide.
and I like that read! Another Major Arcana card of course. I think I’ve pulled almost all of them since I got the app this month. But, of course I can’t remeber because I deleted the app during a hissy fit and I lost all of the readings I had recorded.
ah well new start. Tomorrows a new day and hopefully my spirit guide will pop up tonight or tomorrow. I could use a little help.
blah. lol why am I always so blah. I just feel no purpose.
Oh well, the world goes round.
So on with my quest to find some kind of passion for something. I think I’m going to try working with training my dog better. He’s not bad, he could just be super awesome if I spent some time with him and really gave him training. I have a book and such with dog tricks that I might take a look at, but I have a feeling that youtube might be better because his breed is a little cray.
So yea we will see how long that lasts, if I even start.
ummmmmmmmmm.......
My anxiety has been terrible! But when is it not. No panic attacks. but lots of sleeping and fear of interacting with people. The CBD oil does help along with my medication, but its so darned expensive :/
Again, oh well.
Going to try to read more, go to the gym and freak out less.
Blah I missed some days. Gotta get back on the wagon again.
So I deleted my tarot app because it was just giving my constant negative vibes every morning with a reverse card and I felt like it was almost influencing how my day went after I read it.
No more Debbie downer!
So I took a little break but of course I still miss getting a read everyday because I feel like it was helping to keep me grounded.
So maybe once I get back home ill use my real deck.
The hubbs and I took a vacay and it has been amazing!! Much needed and so fun and awesome bonding.
I got a cool book called The Playing Card Oracles. That teaches you about reading tarot but through playing cards and all the correlations and such.
Pretty neat.
I also started a cool work from home job to make like 50 dollars a week so that'll be nice with saving money.
In a good place right now. Hope you all are as well.
My box of raw and tumbled crystals, consisting with amethyst, onyx, clear quartz, smoky quartz, tiger’s eye, lapis lazuli, malachite and quite a few others🌙
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