Loving Your Vulnerabilities

...to...love at all is to be vulnerable...

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

You were never on my side.

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

You didn’t stand up for me when I was sick

You didn’t stand up for me when I was pregnant (x2)

You didn’t stand up for me when my dream was being snatched away. You helped instead of vocalizing that there was a conflict of interest

You prioritized your own peace and everyone else’s entitled selfish disrespectful ignorance over my wellbeing. The fact that you “didn’t see it” is a red flag.

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

“The universe will never give you peace in something you were never meant to settle in”

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

I want to give up.

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

What is meant to be, will always find a way. What isn’t meant to be will slip away even if I try my absolute hardest.

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

“What did I do to ever deserve this?”

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

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[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

“We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love.” - Dr. Seuss

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

Pig Pig Chu 😭😭

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

The thing about being at a “peak” is that it doesn’t and won’t get better than this. This is the peak of her love for me and you - whether we’re struggling or sick. This is it. She won’t love me more than she loves me now. Only in this moment, I’m more than enough for her - and yet, I’m spending every moment racing to be more so I could be enough for her in the future.

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

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[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

I remember once I wrote a letter to my parents. After years of being told I was useless and being highlighted all these negative traits, I was fed up. I was fed up with my internal war - of being programmed to think I was nothing but dirt but also recognizing and struggling that I had more potential than that. I wrote, “I don’t want to be any plain gemstone, I am a diamond - a valuable stone created by continuous pressure.” From that day on, that realization would continually battle my programmed self-doubt. I never imagined myself to be the biggest or clearest, or roundest or brightest - most perfect diamond. Maybe just a tiny one, sparkling amidst the dirt in the Arizona grounds.

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

boop

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

How do I make someone fear losing me when he wants me to get lost? Fuck. I can’t.

[lovingyourvulnerabilities]

I’m sorry but thank you.

I’m sorry I’m going through this again but thank you for being patient with me.