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@lucys-metanoia
sat 27 dec 14
here's a true mark of just how much ive neglected my knee these last few months.... first run in a shamefully long time, 2.07km, every step my knee took hurt, every single one. (knee is not far off 15months old.)
Before you know it it’s 3 am and you’re 80 years old and you can’t remember what it was like to have 20 year old thoughts or a 10 year old heart.
This is the scariest fucking text post I’ve ever read (via fuckinq)
…
(via champvgne-supernva)
i’m just so glad i’m not still 13 years old and hating girls who wear too much makeup and heels to school. i honestly spent way too much time as a teen being like judgy and stupid and weirdly overly proud of the fact that i wore dirty converse every day. the day i stopped hating girls was like a magical portal to a much better living experience and i highly recommend it because girls are amazing. all of them
Nanita, a baby pygmy marmoset monkey ♥
27 nov 14
for me at this very moment, the biggest slap in the face about just how poorly ive cared for myself these last few (insert a largeish measurement of time unit here) is that ive strained a hamstring muscle.
im severely underslept, high ambient level of stress, deviating between zero appetite and non-stop hunger, continued to work nearly my normal hours at work despite uni exams, headspace is sometimes great and sometimes especially awful.
then there is my semitendinosis -- its one of two muscles that i had the tendon graft taken from to reconstruct my acl in october last year. hurts to walk, uncomfortable to use.. could be a lot worse... but the fact that it's happened in the first place. yeah look idk, but its bad. had plenty of general knee soreness because ive neglected it, but this is a whole new level of personal failure, defeat and frustration.
studying today, and tomorrow before my afternoon exam, then work straight after. already told mum to not wake me on saturday.
the end is nigh.
until later, peace x
IMPORTANT -- ps, for anyone viewing this in the lead up to or just after an acl recon - just take care of it, be diligent and persistently striving to regain strength. my knee has been very good previously, but this just goes to show that it is something that i, and you, will need to consistently maintain. i would still definitely recommend this graft technique over any other (assuming that your surgeon is appropriately skilled and comfortable with it).
14/11/14
hey strangers, my uni exams finish on the 28th. until then im living in a state of day-dream, anticipating a stress-free future. but until then im still up late on a desk chair that is slowly but surely giving me a few extra knots in my back. ive lost count of how many there are now. working approx 25-30hrs a week on top of everything else. only seeing my boy 1-2 times a week at most. constant state of tired, might be anaemic again ..oops. depression?? hypochondria?? not really sure, dont really want to know, just want to fix it? meh. yeah, um. that's it really. lu
tumblr is really triggering, i think i need to do a systematic review of what/who i follow and be brutal.. or just continue avoiding this side of the internet for a while longer.
so yah, hi, hello, missing some of you a lot.. but trying to focus on establishing a stable mindset. getting there. closer now than i have been for at least half a year.. idk, a long time.
but quick update: recently turned 20, ran a 9K with an 11 month old knee and a chest infection, on break from uni, went on picnic with boy -- tried Camembert.. so yummy!, family is good more often than not, sister had formal and graduation with just her hsc left, boy is fantastic and is the k00lest kat ever, getting on with girl at work really really well -- our work is closed this week for reno so we're going to go out on friday night!!, girls night on wednesday night, oh and saw friends at group hang on friday last last week which helped me regain some sanity and my soul sister last week for little lunch/shop and she's so wonderful.
so yeah life is really good, but triggers are a bit much.
peace ☼
Avocado Pesto-Stuffed Tomatoes
deciding to do 500m sprints on the treadmill when i lose focus or my brain gets fuzzy is maybe the best idea ive had in a long time. if only id started this beginning of semester.. then i might actually be fit enough to do this 9K on sunday, eep.
what's new..? not enough sleep, or exercise, or good food. shit balls, my friends, it's all slightly turned to shit balls.
im struggling to keep on top of the sheer amount of uni work, and work shifts, and social life, and sleep, and eating well, and exercising fuck dammit
Sometimes i am Bob, sometimes i am Linda.
fri - uni, 7K run, tea with boy, work sat - netball, work sun - big sleep in, friend's house, study mon - breaky with boy, uni, chillout with friend, study ...maybe gym tonight
mental state has been a roller coaster this last week but definitely a lot better today. 7K is the longest run i've done since surgery, 9K is only a month away!
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
Carl R. Rogers
