#acl reconstruction

[notherinthisearthtwo]

Finallyyyy!!! Surgery done. ✅

Can’t wait to play again. Lol

[not-in-front-of-the-klingons]

Im 7 weeks post partial knee replacement. Honestly this journey has been more mentally taxing than i ever expected. This was my third knee surgery so physically and mentally (my ocd is MAD) i knew what to expect. What i never expected was the sense of doom and rawness i feel about it. Its the finality of it, there is no more false hope of it “getting better”, this is it for my knee, half of it is gone, eventually all of it will be. The surgery worked, dont get me wrong, my knee feels the best its felt in like 10 years. But boy shes messy, and my patellafemoral joint is also now down to bone, and my ACL graft is stretched AND BRO Im 34 in 6 days, like this is my knee for a looonngg time.

[ineedfairypee]

When your anxiety convinces you that it’s been so long something must have gone wrong but you can’t check if something’s gone wrong cause if it has then the people who could tell you something’s gone wrong would need space 😩😭💔

(She was absolutely fine and came out wearing the hilarious T-shirt I made her)

[kneehab]

three months

I hit twelve weeks post op on Monday (two days ago), and I had my first round of isokinetic strength testing yesterday, so lots to catch up on documenting.

First, all the good (and there is lots of good!):

I don’t think about my knee at all, except when I’m at PT, someone asks about it, or I’m trying a new exercise or something at a higher weight in the gym. It occupies very little space in my head on a day to day basis.

I have full and equal range of motion! I have been at full extension since day 1 thanks to me not having hyperextension and due to the leg brace being locked straight, but I hit full knee flexion (about 155 degrees for me) at 8.5 weeks post op, so just after my last update was written. I can also fully sit on my heels kneeling.

I’ve started swimming. Not a ton, but around the beaches in Washington (it’s been so hot) and even in a pool at a gym I got a day pass for.

I’m walking and cycling tons now, sometimes walking upwards of 20,000 steps a day, which feels great.

I tested essentially equally on my functional testing. That includes things like a Y-balance test, where a PT measures how far you can touch your toe while standing on one leg at a time, things like that.

I don’t have any more pain behind my knee when flexing my quad.

Swelling is basically gone. Occasionally after a hard gym day or a really long walk I will get a tiny bit of swelling but it’ll be gone by the next morning.

I’ve started some basic plyometric/jumping/pre-running movements in PT! This includes gently bouncing up and down on your toes and softly landing from one leg onto the other. 

... And the tough.

Luckily, the tough is pretty minimal, but the main one is that I didn’t get the strength testing results I was hoping for. I’m at about 65% LSI, in other words, my left quad is about 65% as strong as my right. My PT says this is a solid number for where I am at in the recovery, but it’s hard not to be pretty disappointed as I need to be at 80% to run. But it’s helpful to have the clarity of where I’m at, and what my next steps need to be to hit my goals. My mission for this month is to work my quad hard, consistently, every other day, no excuses, so I can be as close to 80% as possible by my next round of testing at 4 months.

I think I might be struggling to eat enough protein, and also eating enough in general. I want to make this a focus of the next month, too. I can’t build a quad if I’m not giving it protein.

I’ve also just been struggling with a feeling of loss. I’m sad to be missing out on stuff still. Even though things are infinitely better than they were a month or two ago, I’m still not able to do many of the things I love. I can’t run, I can’t do aerial silks, I can’t do a triathlon, and that sucks because the season will be over by the time I could do so physically.

At the end of the day, things are pretty great. My graft is still there and strong, and I’m able to walk and hike and swim and be outside. I’m so grateful that the early stages of recovery are behind me, as I remember in those early days I just couldn’t imagine there would be a day again where I could just take a long walk without limping.

And I am really grateful for the good habits that the regimen of PT is teaching me. It’s building a gym habit. I never did very much squatting or strength training in general and was a bit of a “cardio queen”, so needing to do this to meet tangible goals is giving me the structure to develop discipline around strength training.

Onto the next month, and welcoming a mindset of growth and discipline, as well as a sense of joy in the small moments of new abilities.

[listenthreetimes]

One year. My strength is back.

[themmajuma]

2019 | 12 | 15

I’ve decided to start a recovery journal. 

Writing is a nice way for me to get my jumbled thoughts out and neatly sorted out in a manner that will better serve me down the line. My mental health has taken such a downward spin since all this madness and if I don’t find something to move me along...I’m afraid of what will happen. 

Today’s prompt is: 

“How are you feeling about yourself at this point in your recovery?”

This is a loaded question. Because to be honest, depending on the day my answer will change. 

On some days I feel this fire in my gut. This burning motivation that pushed me to go farther in a run or kick harder in a training session than I ever thought possible. I want to absolutely slay this recovery. I feel like I am like one of those heroes with her eyes locked on the prize, who despite everyone saying its impossible, defies the odds. 

On other days...I feel like a broken china doll. I’m fragile and shattered. I am less than I was at my peak. And the damage I’ve sustained will cause people to look me over on the shelves where I’ll sit and collect dust. Who wants to waste their time with something that is broken? 

I don’t know how I feel about myself today. I know that I am still an athlete. That this is a set back, nothing more. And yes this set back will set up an amazing comeback if I let it. But I don’t feel like an athlete. I don’t feel like I’m improving. I don’t feel like I will ever be me again. 

This entire situation has caused such a disruption in my life that at times I won’t allow myself to see the finish line. Within the past month alone I lost my mobility, my sport, and my job. Nothing feels in my control. It’s almost as if I’m a sim and some sadistic fuck is just slamming on buttons while I run into walls and set my bathroom on fire. 

I want to find the meaning in this disruption. I want to allow myself to feel what I am without feeling it so much that I crumble. But my leg and my heart hurt. Everything is wrong. Nothing is how it was supposed to be. 

This experience reminds me of Book 4 of the Legend of Korra. Like...I’m so used to being strong and competent. I’m used to competing and sweating, bleeding, crying all for a sport that I have called my passion for almost 20 years. But suddenly...I am LITERALLY learning to walk again. 

For those of you who actually made it to the end of this mess, thank you for spending this moment with me. 

Truly, this helps. 

[temporada-de-flores]

Cirurgia LCA | Dia 2 (1º PO)

9:00

Ontem a noite me deram um comprimido de diazepam, mas sempre que o enfermeiro entrava no quarto, eu acordava. O que aconteceu inúmeras vezes. Sempre trocando meu soro, me medicando com analgésicos, antibióticos e anti-inflamatórios. O enfermeiro dessa noite era o Guilherme, e estou fazendo questão de dizer isso aqui porque ele foi extremamente prestativo e gentil. Sempre que eu chamava em poucos minutos ele aparecia (o que não tem acontecido desde que trocou o turno), muito educado e discreto. Ainda tenho dificuldade para levantar sozinha e como na tarde de ontem eu tive um episódio de tontura, fico temerosa que possa acontecer novamente, e devido a quantidade de liquido que estou recebendo, preciso ir no banheiro muitas vezes, o que me faz chamar muito a equipe de enfermagem.

12:00

Minha mãe chegou há pouco, estamos esperando o Dr. Ricardo passar com esperança de receber alta hoje. Ainda estou bastante sonolenta, acredito que seja efeito dos analgésicos. Está sendo tranquilo.

14:00

Dr. Ricardo veio para mais uma visita e avaliação. Dos movimentos que ele me pediu, somente elevar a perna foi difícil devido a dor (ontem consegui realizar o movimento com grande facilidade). Recebi o protocolo de fisioterapia e algumas orientações para o PO. Não irei compartilhar o protocolo e as orientações pois cada caso é único e cabe somente ao médico e/ou fisioterapeuta avaliar e dizer o que é indicado para cada caso.

19:00

Já estou em casa, sinto algum desconforto mas sem dores fortes. Iniciei a medicação há 1 hora. Devo tomar pelos próximos dias analgésicos, anti-inflamatório,anticoagulante e multivitamínico. Tenho séries de exercícios com 20 repetições para serem realizadas 4 vezes ao dia a partir de amanhã.

[formeandmybody-blog]

To do lists

So I've reached six months post ACL/meniscus surgery and I've been cleared for running: .1 miles at a time, on a treadmill no faster than 10:20 time, with .1 mi walking in between, not to exceed 5 rounds 😳

Y'all, this mental game through recovery is TOUGH. I had in my head through months of crutches on the MTA commuting, that I was counting down to when I was back running...I fell into myself, into elevated leg and movie days and laziness. I was looking for running to jolt me and help me get back. I wanted it to be for me what it before.

This is a tease. This is frustrating. This is finding my stride and feeling the song and oh- time to stop. I haven't felt sharp pain and the swelling/discomfort has been manageable. I know the meniscus takes time. I know my food struggles have more to do with my mindset than my injury. I know a year is a long time and I'm only half way.

I know I can get back and should use my run mini steps as an avenue to focus on strengthening my upper body and core. I know this and yet I struggle. If I don't change something soon I'll only undo more and add more to my list of goals to overcome. I know I can do it, but I know it's hard and takes time. I don't want to give myself more to do.

Y'all this is hard. Take care of yourself today and drink lots of water.