PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
dirt enthusiast
Mike Driver
AnasAbdin
i don't do bad sauce passes

if i look back, i am lost

@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du
ojovivo

roma★
YOU ARE THE REASON
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
noise dept.
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taylor price

izzy's playlists!

shark vs the universe

PR's Tumblrdome

seen from Malaysia
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@lucythegoosey
gordon ramsey: is the food good here?
underpaid server:
My favourite thing about that show is how he treats servers. It was also the source of some very intense fantasies when I was a barista of him busting into my cafe, calling my boss a fucking idiot, then taking me against the broken dishwasher.
saw a comment that misspelled “kind gesture” as “kind jester” and am now imagining a beautiful world where we praise good samaritans by calling them kind jesters. good on you, you gentle fool. you’ve made the world a sweeter and sillier place.
The UK gets a new prime minister just whenever. Completely random intervals
It may seem random but it’s actually not! We get a new prime minister after the previous one enters a protective chrysalis after a period of relentless eating and growing, and they then dissolve into a biological soup. They then reform into the new adult prime minister. It really beautiful to see 🥰
i've had this garfield panel saved forever and i even marked in my calendar today as "the monday that wouldn't die" so uh. happy(?) monday the 22nd aka the monday that wouldn't die
hello male writer. before you is a typewriter. you have one day to write a novella with a woman as the protagonist without describing her breasts. the timer begins now
Her ass was like a peach, and brother I’m in her pit.
well. that one’s on me
Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away
Why does staff still allow people funnier than you to leave tags on your posts. They should have fixed that by now
I'm so fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked
ugh of course he has two mothers. they just had to make it woke. and one of them's made of cloth and the other wire too. sick of this forced diversity bullshit
i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes
i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck