BEST. VIDEO. EVER.
OK BUT WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY. I DONT UNDERSTAND.
I’M FUCKING CRYING OMG
I’ve been laughing at this for so long, send help
oh my god Hhahahahah

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@lukewarmatbest
BEST. VIDEO. EVER.
OK BUT WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY. I DONT UNDERSTAND.
I’M FUCKING CRYING OMG
I’ve been laughing at this for so long, send help
oh my god Hhahahahah
business email glossary
thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"
thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up
would you be so kind: fucking do it
best: i have never physically met you
all best: this conversation is over
all my best: i wish you would die
happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do
i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to
sorry to chase: answer my email
so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem
i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to
i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to
per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
thanks!: i'm not mad at you
thanks!!: please don't be mad at me
thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk
please advise: this might be your fault
kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator
can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot
let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -
Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think
When New Yorkers hear a violin 🤣🤣🕺🏾🔥
This is what I should think when they say “Boys will be boys”
Wholesome content~ xD
he really fucked the shit out of that violin
this is what real ny is about tbh
the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance
to clarify … so many strong women in my life rely on men. that dependence is dangerous. ladies here are some good ref resources I’ve found helpful on my journey towards self reliance
automobile
changing coolant
changing oil
changing tire
jumping a car
plumbing
toilet running
basement flooding
replace a faucet
clogged drain
electrical
replacing light switches
blew a fuse
installing overhead light
earth vs. neutral vs. live wires
home
patching drywall
finding studs
this list is in no way comprehensive feel free to add on
a lot of ‘man things’ are a lot easier than you think they are. especially considering the fact that most of these things when buying the parts come with directions on the packaging that men usually don’t even look at (and often end up doing it wrong because they were taught by fathers who also did not look at the packaging).
like i recently had to change my car battery and freaked out cause i thought id electrocute myself but turns out new batteries come with directions and its the easiest shit in the world so long as you can lift the damn thing.
so yeah, ladies dont ever feel like a man is a necessity for life, you can do this shit on your own its easier than you think!
When I moved into a room in somebody’s house when in college, the first thing I did was rewire every plug in the place. (Seriously, it was a fire hazard).
I tried to get my landlady to learn how to do it, but she could not get past it being a “guy’s job.”
I did an end run around her, though.
I taught her ten-year-old daughter instead.
(This was back in the 90s when rewiring plugs were a thing).
Refusing to do stuff because it’s men’s work (or, of course, women’s work) is dumb and decreases your survival chances.
I want a Santa movie where he’s actually Saint Nicholaos of Myra. Three kids run away from home and find a portal to the Council Of Nicaea in 325 AD. Then the kids watch him debate the promulgation of canon law. In the end they return home and tell their parents that presents aren’t important so long as Pentecost is counted 50 days after Easter on the Roman solar calendar and not the Jewish lunar calendar.
And the kids tell their parents the whole story and the dad is like “those kids and their imaginations.” But then he sees a piece of paper in the dog’s mouth and goes “whatcha got there boy? Is that…orders from the Holy See that the schismatic bishop Meletius is to remain in Lycopolis and keep his episcopal title but the ecclesiastics ordained by him must again receive the laying of hands? But…how?” And then he gazes off to the sky and you hear a light jingling of bells and then a voice over goes “Ho ho ho! The baptisms performed by the Paulian heretics are invalid! Merry Christmas!”
Fr? Lemme check this out
Here’s the link to all of the free online classes offered by Harvard:
https://www.edx.org/school/harvardx
But TBH I prefer the MIT Open Coursewear approach. Feel like taking a class on the policy and economics of nuclear engineering? MIT’s got you covered:
https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/find-by-topic/#cat=engineering&subcat=nuclearengineering&spec=nuclearsystemspolicyandeconomics
In fact they’ve got you covered with A LOT of their courses, everything from fine arts to immunology.
Have fun :)
WHERE HAS THIS BEEN THE LAST TWO YEARS
psychic: [reads my mind]
me: Istanbul was Constantinople, now it’s Istanbul not Constantinople
been a long time gone, oh Constantinople
why did Constantinople get the works?
That’s nobody’s business but the Turks
psychic: what the fuck
I will be 70 years old and I still will never have gotten over the time the Mythbusters used a rocket powered steel wall to - and I use this word as literally as possible - vaporize an entire car into red mist
https://youtu.be/Nl8xTqTUGCY
If you haven’t seen this episode of Mythbusters I feel so bad for you because “What car?” remains to this day as a defining moment of my adolescence and my entire life
That was a near-religious experience
Me not on medication: PANICKING
Me on medication: panickimg
i had a dream that i saw avengers 4 and the after credits scene was deadpool starting a gofundme so he could be in the next one
“bro”
“what bro”
“tell the whole world that we’re bros”
*whispers* “we’re bros”
“why’d you whisper bro?”
“because you’re my whole world bro”
“b r o”
“You’re my girl” is my fav thing. Like yes I am. You’re right. Say it again.
carrie fisher may not be on this earth anymore but she still has the biggest dick energy of them all and that’s a Fact
queer eye is just “damn bitch, you live like this?” the show
i want them to come to my house and just burn all my shit then prescribe me adderall
me as a hotel receptionist: *greets guests by playing hotel california but cutting it off right before they say california*