Aya [Brown]ās scenic depictions beam with ghetto nuance and seduction. Her work is intersectionalāshe takes artifacts from Black and queer culture and fuses them, putting a face to the often unseen. Ayaās art suggests that lowbrow is the latest highbrow response to boring straight white male culture. Her style draws upon figures both living and deceased, from Missy Elliott to Toni Morrison. Itās nasty foreplay and sensual love. Itās Black Lesbian pride. āIt is one of my biggest missions in life to document my own history, BLACK LESBIAN history,ā she tells office. āThis is not a game of telephone. I donāt want a little Black girl to learn about us, from anyone but us.ā
āYou have to cheat. Ask for as many extensions on papers as you possibly can. Pretend your computer is broken. Use your charm if you have any. If youāre going to cry, donāt wait until youāre out of the roomādo it where the people in power can see you. Eat the same food every day if you canāt think of anything else to make. Put other things ahead of taking a shower, even if your mom said you have to take a shower every two days. Sometimes people wonāt notice youāre cheating but even if they do and are annoyed you might still get by. My mom goes to workshops for people with ASD and then gives me the really long printouts that go along with them. The printouts tell me to sit down and make a list of everything I have to do. When I am anxious, as I have been this year, itās hard to think about these things so I hold on to the printouts out of guilt but donāt actually read them. Then my mom finds them and gets upset that I havenāt read them and says that Iām not ready to live on my own. But I am ready to live on my own. Badly. Just like I can hold down a full-time job. Badly. Just like I am getting my homework done. Badly. And I forget to balance my checkbook, which none of my non-disabled friends do because you can get it online, and my mom says, āWell itās different for you because they would be able to do it if they needed to, but you wouldnāt, so you have to do it.ā Theoretically I understand this is true, but my checkbook remains unbalanced. Which is bad. And I feel bad. I do! At this rate Iāll never be able to go to college. But I do go to college. At this rate Iāll never be able to have any friends. But I do have friends. I just donāt do everything right with them all the time. For people whose lives are controlled by executive dysfunction, I firmly believe the difference between getting stuff done and not getting stuff done is not caring about doing things right. You cannot always make a list all the time and be early for everything. You just canāt. Hopefully youāre good-looking or funny or you remind someone of their niece. Exploit all opportunities. Do not do what people who are not disabled tell you to do (unless you want to, of course). All too often I find myself waiting for the day when I can do shit properly, which more or less amounts to waiting until Iām not disabled anymore. Then I can feel good enough to deserve everything I want. Well my cure is slow in arriving, so Iām just going to do everything I want now, if thatās okay with you.ā
ā
from Iām Somewhere Else, āMax is a Miracleā
The best advice Iāve heard on how to get through college with a developmental disability when there are zero accommodations for executive dysfunction. You canāt let anyone else try to live your life for you, and you cannot worry about ādoing things rightā. Also: none of the things described here as ācheatingā are ACTUALLY cheating.
when mitski said all of this turbulence wasnāt forecasted apologies from the intercom and i am relieved that iād left my room tidy theyāll think of me kindly when they come for my things theyāll never know how iād stared at the dark in that room with no thoughts like a blood-sniffing shark and while my dreams made music in the night carefully i was going to live you wouldnāt leave till we loved in the morning youād learned from movies how love ought to be and youād say you love me and look in my eyes but i know through mine you were looking in yours and did you know the liberty bell is a replica silently housed in its original walls and while its dreams played music in the night quietly it was told to believeĀ i always wanted to die clean and pretty but iād be too busy on working days so i am relieved that the turbulence wasnāt forecasted i couldnāt have changed anyways i am relieved that iād left my room tidy Goodbye
i think the funniest and realist thing iāve realized lately is how troubling idealization can be. every person is justā¦ a person. the very people you want to impress or be apart of are just people. even if they seem wildly intimidating because of the way they look or because of their reputation, every one is just a person. human. as embarrassing, as remorseful and they are going through stages of growth just like you are. we only see what we want to see and then drown ourselves further in our own depression and we donāt have to.
truly and i am learning the less i idealise others, the more willing i am to meet people where they are warts n all. and the more willing i am to show myself too and bring my whole self into things. my own embarrassment becomes a new normal and fine thing. stumbling becomes more endearing.
im trying to cope and the landlord is just moving shit through the house for hours she comes like every other day for hours because shes selling the place for profit scream scream scream
we have about 45 days to vacate so this lady can make 100k and shes up our asses and shes not compensating us and we cant exercise any tenant rights bc shes sarahs family aaaaaaaaaaaa
uuuuu so its my birthday in a week if anyone wants to help make this transition easier on me and my partner that would be sick. im trans and autistic and this time last year i was homeless. we have a little money saved but we're having a lot of trouble finding housing and might need to work from an airbnb or something to transition without losing our new jobs.
Hi itās me Jess! And Iām asking for your help!!!
I have a couple of posts on here asking for donations but reblogs and donations have slowed down!
I know and realize and recognize that things are very tough on everyone right now but sometimes posts with a lot of texts people skip over (understandable I have undiagnosed adhd)
What is this post about you ask!?? Itās to help me move!!
Iāve been through quite a lot these last couple of years (a physically emotionally and mentally abusive relationship) two emotionally and mentally abusive friendships by people I have known for years. Racism at my job and in my town and like.......this whole entire country. Iām currently stuck in the good ole Midwest and even though my town counts itself as āliberalā and āprogressiveā itās ripe with racism. Not to mention the town I am is full of abusers. (Included the three that I dealt with last year)
Iām trying to move out of my town and finally live life for myself in a new environment where I donāt have to be worried about literally physically bumping into one of my abusers in the supermarket.
If you canāt donate plsssssss reblog this post or any of my other posts you might come across.
My gofundme is here: https://gf.me/u/y7g3vh
so my first gfm ended on sep 30th and i did not meet my goal so i'm restarting it!
the money being raisā¦ Jessica Jordan needs your support
šMy Venmo is: rosyish
šMy cashapp is: $rosyish
Literally even a couple of bucks count and go straight into my savings account for moving because Iām so deadly serious about moving from this town.
I mentally cannot spend another year here and my last therapy session even my therapist said moving would help immensely for my mental health!
Every donation goes to relocation costs, necessities, moving truck, insurance, food, and a nurse to come by my home to help my mom because I will not be home to take care of her and hopefully a pet fee so I can take my beautiful lovely dog Luna.
If youāre interested I have an onlyfans (currently 50% off) and I will be opening my online shop in December. Pls message me about either.
Again pls reblog if you cannot donate.
Iām so eternally grateful to everyone who has followed me over the years, has sent me kind messages, my friends who have supported and loved me through my hardships these past few years, to the people who have donated, to the people who have reblogged, and for the people who have helped me achieve my goal.
Either way, weāre not alone
Iāll find a new place to be from
A haunted house with a picket fence
To float around and ghost my friends
No, Iām not afraid to disappear
The billboard said āThe End is Nearā
I turned around, there was nothing there
Yeah, I guess the end is here
