Montana Jude's birth story
I truly appreciate anyone who is interested enough to take the time and read this. I realize it is very long, but I wanted to write down everything I could remember as accurately as possible :)
My labor story began at 34 weeks pregnant when Montana dropped into the birth canal early. By 34 weeks and 3 days I began experiencing regular and painful contractions almost nightly. Initially, they were about 15 minutes apart, but as the days went on the contractions came on closer and closer, some nights coming as close as two minutes apart and generally lasting all night. It was a scary time for us - we didn’t want him to come early unless he really needed to, but it was also physically painful and emotionally exhausting. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with my body and I questioned my ability to birth a healthy baby. I was put on bed rest from 34 to 37 weeks in order to avoid preterm labor, which was very challenging for me, but it was so important to us that he stay in as long as he could so that we could continue with our plan to birth at home (in CA, midwives are only licensed to cover home births from 37-42 weeks).
34 weeks pregnant- made Shaun take some maternity photos in case Montana came before our official ones were scheduled.
Imagine our surprise when I got out of bed at 37 weeks and still no hard labor! The seemingly endless contractions continued, and despite the heavy toll they took on my psyche and my body, we moved forward excitedly, making sure we were always prepared for our son’s arrival. Shaun and I worked to make every day special, going on hikes and dates and spending a lot of time talking and bonding, knowing that any day could be the last day just the two of us.
Sunset hike at 37 weeks pregnant
By the time 40 weeks rolled around, I was beginning to get nervous; Why was I having so many contractions but no baby? Was he ok? Did he want to come out, but my body wouldn’t let him? During my 40 week prenatal appointment I expressed my fears and insecurities about the situation to my midwives. But given that Baby Montana seemed to be doing excellent, we collectively decided that we would not take any action at this point despite the discomfort of the contractions. It was of utmost importance to me (besides his safety) to know that my body was capable of going into labor and delivering him without any intervention- I needed to know I could do it! The midwives recommended taking some time for myself and getting acupuncture and chiropractic care to make sure my body was well aligned and in flow. I made an appointment with a new chiropractor they recommended for that evening and went about my day keeping myself busy.
Early that evening, I arrived at my appointment with the chiropractor and she noticed several things were extremely out of alignment, After being adjusted I was immediately hit with an intense wave of relief! For the first time in weeks, I felt everything in my body line up. I felt strong and right. I walked out of her office and called Shaun on the verge of tears- I had finally found some relief from the pain and discomfort that had been eating at me for weeks! I felt like my body was doing what it was supposed to do! As soon as I got off the phone with Shaun the rushes began. I wondered if perhaps I was in early labor, but after the previous 6 weeks of the emotions of thinking I was in labor and being wrong, I didn’t want to get ahead of myself again.
When I finally arrived home I told Shaun I didn’t think we were going to make our dinner plans. He asked if I thought it was the real thing, but since I had been experiencing prodromal labor for so long, I had no idea! However, within about a half hour things progressed and I started having to work through the rushes. I found the most comfortable way to get through them was rocking on my hands and knees with Shaun applying pressure to my lower back.
Around 10pm, I realized the waves were slowly starting to build and it was taking more effort to work through them than the ones I was used to with prodromal labor so we decided we should probably let the midwives know and set up the birthing tub just in case. I was beginning to think maybe this really was “it”, but I was still feeling hesitant to get excited about being in labor. After calling one of our midwives, Moriah, she said she could come be with us then if I was ready or we could call her back in an hour and see how things were going. Shaun and I were really enjoying our time together, loving and talking between rushes so I told her we would call her in an hour and give her an update.
Shaun and I, between rushes.
I wanted to take “one last belly photo” in case we were in for a baby!
When we called Moriah back around 11, I knew I was ready for more support. During each rush I had to pass the phone to Shaun so I could get on all fours and sway and moan through the surges. I wouldn’t consider these rushes very painful, but they felt very different from what I had expected; the sensation was sharp and almost entirely in my back due to Montana’s posterior position and my thighs and butt felt quite achey. To my surprise, I had almost no discomfort in my abdominal area.
With Moriah on her way, Shaun and I tried to enjoy our time as much as possible; eating, talking, cuddling and taking videos between contractions. As things continued to progress I felt amazing! I felt so connected to all the women who have ever birthed. Knowing that we could meet our baby soon was the most incredible feeling! And while the rushes were uncomfortable, they were not awful. I think when people talk about labor, they often forget to mention the fact that you get constant breaks from the intensity which keeps things manageable and even enjoyable!
Resting after a contraction
Around 1 am Moriah arrived and set up all of her equipment. Seeing me work through the rushes, she told me that she felt it was “real” labor, and offered to check me and see if I was progressing. I told her to check, but that I didn’t want to know how dilated I was if it was a small number. We waited for the next rush to pass and she checked. It seemed like she was having trouble finding my cervix, which had previously been blocked because Montana’s head was so low, so I tried to not get disappointed thinking I hadn’t progressed at all. After a minute she pulled her hand out and it was covered in my bloody show. I was so excited- a real labor symptom! I went to the bathroom to clean up and when I came out, Shaun had a big grin on his face and asked me if I wanted to know how dilated I was. I knew he wouldn’t have asked if I was still really small, so I said yes and they told me I was a already four centimeters! Four centimeters?! That meant real labor! I was thrilled.
Coming off the news that I was 4 centimeters left me feeling even more energetic and excited, so we decided to walk up and down the stairs to help Montana move down the birth canal and hopefully turn around so I could have some relief from back labor. Shaun and I walked up and down the stairs several times, stopping during rushes for me to get on my hands and knees and have Shaun push all of his weight into my lower back. The stairs certainly seemed to intensify the contractions, but didn’t give me any relief from the back labor. Moriah recommended we try a maneuver where I do a backbend over my labor ball for several contractions to try to encourage Montana to turn into an anterior position. It sounded hilarious (and it was!) but I was feeling up for anything so we decided to give it a try. We all hopped on the bed and Shaun and Moriah helped me to bend over the ball, which was surprisingly comfortable. I spent four or five contractions bent over the ball, and while the position seemed to intensify the rushes, the ball created a good amount of pressure on my spine, which gave me some relief. Once I got off the ball, we all decided it was probably time to make the bed for the birth. I realized things had taken a turn during the next contraction when I found myself lying on the pile of sheets on the floor, breathlessly telling Moriah that I didn’t think I was in early labor any more! I tried walking the stairs a bit more, but I was beginning to feel tired and the labor tub was looking incredibly tempting so I asked Moriah if she thought I was far enough along to get in. She said I should get in if I wanted to, but that if things began to slow down I should get out and start walking stairs again to keep things progressing. I excitedly tore off my clothes and hopped in. The relief was immediate and I shouted “Hello! There is MY epidural!” (I was really excited to be in labor) Between rushes, I was still feeling great and very positive, but they were intensifying quickly and I couldn’t make it through them without someone putting all of their weight into my back. Around this time our other midwife, Jill showed up and both midwives went downstairs, leaving Shaun and I to labor privately. After some time laboring in the tub, I began to feel pressure in my bottom but I couldn’t tell if I was ready to push or I had to poop (Isn’t labor romantic??) I desperately did not want to get out of the tub, but I didn’t want to poop in the water either. Shaun kept telling me to just push if I needed to and that if I pooped in the water, he would clean it up. As tempting as staying in the tub was, I did not want him cleaning up my poop! (Though I feel like he should get a husband of the year award for even offering) Shaun helped me to the bathroom and I asked him to stay with me and apologized for pooping in front of him. He told me not to be silly and that he was there for me.
Between the intensifying rushes and the relaxation provided by the tub, I was beginning to really feel the exhaustion. I believe it was around 5 or 6 in the morning at this point and Shaun and I had not slept since the previous night. Once I was on the toilet and had gravity working with me again, things took a serious step up in intensity and I kept telling Shaun I just wanted a break! Not necessarily from the pain, but I just needed to rest! During each rush I would vomit and during the lulls I would relax and half fall asleep on Shaun. Jill came in to check on us and I expressed that I was afraid I would be too tired to keep this up if things didn’t progress quickly, so she recommended Shaun and I lay down through the contractions and get some sleep. I couldn’t imagine trying to lay down through these contractions, but I was so exhausted that I figured I ought to give it a shot. We waited for a lull in the rushes and moved me to the bed.
Upon laying down, the pain was immediately too much to handle. I would squeeze my hands and writhe through each rush, feeling like I might be swallowed whole by the pain, when something clicked.. I remembered all of my reading and knew that I needed to surrender now. The rushes started coming on with only a few seconds break in between, so I worked intently bringing my focus entirely to relaxation, calming each muscle as the waves crashed over me. It is such a natural instinct to want to fight pain like that, but giving into it and surrendering to the intensity not only allowed me get through them, but also completely shifted my morale for the rest of labor.
I’m unsure of how long I labored there in bed, but it wasn’t long before Shaun and the midwives began to get nervous that my labor had stopped because I was so silent and still during the rushes, only occasionally whispering “pressure” or “harder” to indicate to whoever was pushing on my back at the time that I needed them. I tried to explain that the rushes were actually on top of each other and they were stronger than ever, but I couldn’t fully form the words I needed to say and stay completely relaxed at the same time. They asked if they could check me to see if I was still progressing, I said yes, but I couldn’t seem to get a long enough break through the rushes to get onto my back. I later found out that they were worried at this point thinking I had just completely given up (I hadn’t by any means, I was just deep in labor land!) so they were quite adamant about checking me and getting me out of bed.
Moriah checked me and whispered to Jill that I was at 6 ½ and all of the color drained from my face. The midwives seemed excited about my progress, but for me it was devastating. I couldn’t imagine having the energy to do this for another 12+ hours. I remembered reading in Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth that sometimes when women voice their fears out loud during labor, it helped them move past them. So I cried and told them I was afraid of things progressing and of pushing because I didn’t think I could handle it if things got more intense. They told me I could do it and that many women found pushing to be a relief because one could actually do something with the intensity. I knew they were right and that we had to keep going. Jill was firm with me, which I really needed at this point, and told me that I needed to get up and get things moving if I wanted to bring my baby down. She helped me up and told me to go to the bathroom and that afterwards we would go walk stairs to help things progress. I knew she was right and that I needed to move around, but the idea of walking up and down stairs seemed like a cruel joke at this point.
We all went into the bathroom and I was deep “in it” at this point. I vomited with each rush and needed someone to push with all of their strength into my lower back, when Jill said to me, “Skyla, you’re doing it! They aren’t going to get any more intense than this.” I wasn’t sure if I should believe her, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. I was overwhelmed with the pain, but I was more afraid of how much worse it was going to get. She was right and this was in fact the most painful part.
Little did I know, the end was right around the corner! Jill tried to get me up and dressed, but I asked for a few minutes more so they left me alone with Shaun to labor on the toilet. Almost as soon as the midwives walked out I heard a pop and a little fluid went into the toilet. I yelled that I thought my water broke, but I wasn’t sure since there was so little fluid. Moriah came in and told me she heard it and it was definitely my bag. This was the sign I needed to keep me going! I was so excited and felt a renewed sense of energy. I asked if I could rather get in the tub than go walk stairs because I really didn’t want to put clothes on. They said I could, but if the contractions slowed, that I should get out. I practically jumped in and sighed with relief. The contractions were still incredibly intense, but I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, which kept me positive and moving forward. I kept moving around in the tub trying to get him to move down the birth canal.
It wasn’t long before I needed to push, and this pressure could not be confused with needing to poop! Jill checked me and said that I still had a small lip of cervix she could not get to stretch and that it was starting to swell, so no matter what, I could NOT push. HA! That “pushy feeling” you hear about was literally the most intense, impossible to resist sensation I have ever felt in my life! The midwives showed me how to breathe with these contractions and told me that if I was blowing out with my mouth, I wouldn’t be able to push. Luckily, the rushes spaced out a bit and I was able to have a break in between, but each one hit me like a train. I don’t remember them hurting, but fighting the urge to push was literally the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.
Shaun was at my hands, holding me up and kissing me, and the midwives took turns putting pressure on my back. During each rush they all did the blow breathing with me and told me I was strong and I could I do this. This was the only point in the whole labor where I thought that I just could not do it. It wasn’t that the pain was too much, it was that I just could NOT fight this urge to push! After only a few more rushes Jill checked me again and told me I was 9 ¾ and that there was only the smallest band of skin left. She asked if she could try to stretch it during the next rush and apologized if it hurt- I practically begged her to! I could not have cared less about pain at this point I just had to be able to push! She got it to move a little and told me to try and push when I felt the urge and we would see how things go.
Sometime around here Shaun got into the tub with me and would help me into a squat position every time I needed to push. I loved having his support and his body being so close to mine and I LOVED pushing. From what I remember, it didn’t hurt and almost immediately I could feel his head. I was so excited and told everyone that he had a full head of hair and that I couldn’t believe how squishy his head felt. I pushed through the next few contractions only when I really felt the urge, wanting to take things slowly so I didn’t tear. I noticed that with each push I could feel more and more of his head and that it didn’t go back up between contractions like I had read about. Soon I could feel the whole top of his head and I was so surprised that it wasn’t burning like I had always heard. With the next push the top of his head popped out and there was my ring of fire! It did burn, but I was more concerned with not tearing than I was with the pain. I took things really slow, but with the next tiny push, his head came out to around his eyebrows and I so eloquently shouted out “shit!!” I couldn’t believe it was actually happening! All of the burning sensation was centralized up front and I was petrified of tearing towards my clitoris so the midwives had me push his head gently towards my perineum, but it didn’t ease any of the sensation. On the next rush, I sat up into a squatting position, pushed a little, and his whole head popped out immediately. I looked down and saw his tiny head, blurred by the water- I couldn’t believe it. There he was! My son! Halfway between our world and my womb. After such a long journey, I was finally going to meet my child and kiss his beautiful face. It was the most surreal, wonderful moment of my life.
Up until this point, the midwives stood back and completely let me do everything on my own (which I loved!) As his head came out, Moriah checked that his cord wasn’t around his neck and told me everything looked perfect. With the next rush and no pushing the rest of his body slid out on it’s own. This was the moment I had been waiting for my whole life. I reached down and pulled my beautiful son onto my chest, telling him I loved him. We looked into each others eyes and after a few seconds he let out a small but hearty cry, letting us know he was there and well. I leaned back onto Shaun and we admired our son, laughing and telling him how perfect he was and how happy we were that he had finally arrived. The three of us basked in the water, high on excitement and love until the tub began to get cold.
Shaun and the midwives helped me out of the tub, and as I stood up I noticed a pool of blood around my feet. The midwives, picking up on my nerves reassured me that it was normal and asked me to give a small push to see if my placenta would come out. I did and it slid out easily. The midwives got us settled in bed and checked me for bleeding and tearing. I didn’t think I had torn at all because of how wonderful I was feeling (the beauty of hormones!) but the midwives told me that I had actually torn in 5 places! Apparently, Montana had come out with his arms up by his face, which can cause more tearing than usual. The midwives gave me an herb tincture to curb my bleeding, and once we were all settled and healthy, they went downstairs and left us to bond. Shaun, Montana and I laid in bed, loving one another and memorizing his features, still in awe of the journey we had just been through.
After about an hour, the midwives returned to us and we burned Montana’s cord, separating him from his life-giving placenta and then the midwives performed the newborn exam. He weighed 8 pounds 12 ounces and was 22 ½ inches long and was the picture of health!
On the 15th of February, 2014 our lives changed forever as we brought our sweet son into the world. It was the best day of our lives.
Our little man- about 2 hours old
areudirty
theartofmadeline
pixelskylines
prguitarman
germansingergirl
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
romaincrisis
dailybridgerton
