sincerely not. (12)
↳ gojou satoru/reader
with an arranged marriage set in place, the sacred bond is doomed with a wife who wants to make the relationship work and a husband who’s ready to ruin it all. unknown to him, a tragic fate already lies within the pages of your romance book.
genre. heavy angst, unrequited love, arranged marriage, modern au, 18+
tags/warnings. profanity, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of infidelity, mentions of death, physical abuse (not to reader), violence, blood
notes. 14k wc longest chapter yet. my savior @suhkusa tysm for the consistent beta <3 the RE parallels go hard on this one, i hope u guys enjoy!! do not spoil on the replies pls
series masterlist -> part thirteen
Ieiri had seen all types of reactions from her patients before. Some women would visit her clinic with huge smiles on their faces while learning about their pregnancy, while others would spend the next nine months forlornly because having a baby inside their womb was not something that they had prepared for. Not everyone who came to her were expectants, either. There were those who have been trying to conceive for months, but could not seem to find the luck, so they wanted to check if anything specific was preventing their chances. Infertility was not uncommon and many women tend to suffer from underlying factors such as having polycystic ovarian syndrome, hormonal fluctuations, or endometriosis. Certain times, when a woman does end up conceiving a baby, not all bodies were healthy enough to carry the fetus for nine months. This was why the topic of pregnancy could be very sensitive to some people because it carried many negative connotations that could range from infertility to miscarriage. As an obstetrician-gynecologist, she had been accustomed to the spectrum of emotions that her patients would show and today was just another one of those experiences for her.
Except, while Ieiri was looking at Sera, all she could think of was you. She thought of how this news could damage you, especially since you had a heart condition that could be fatally dangerous once you found out that Gojou had possibly gotten another woman pregnant. Shoko was never supportive of her best friend’s affair and had she known that Satoru was going to mess up, she would have placed more effort into criticizing his actions rather than just ‘not meddling with his business’. Because now every time her eyes met Sera, the very image of infidelity came to her mind. If only the two lovers had the decency to break up prior to the marriage, none of this would have happened and you would never have had to deal with the painful consequences.
“Are you nervous?”
“Not at all,” Sera answered, evidently lying as she sat still with her hands clenched above her lap.
She must be anxious. Ieiri picked up the white plastic cup from her table and walked towards the cabinet where she kept all the pregnancy test tubes hidden. And just to make sure, she grabbed two and heard Sera take a deep breath as she watched how the doctor dropped urine on both tubes before leaning against the counter to look back at her. “Shouldn’t you have taken a pregnancy test at home?”
“I did, didn’t I say that already? It was positive and Satoru doesn’t wanna believe it,” she snapped, furrowing her brows as she spoke. Unlike before, Sera was visibly aloof towards her now. They used to be appropriately casual around each other, but it was pretty obvious that Sera knew where Ieiri's loyalty was and that the latter didn’t support their extramarital relationship, hence her biased opinion was what prompted Sera to not pretend and act all nice around her anymore. In her head, Ieiri was nothing but a traitor.
Sighing, Shoko reached for her stethoscope and pulled a stool to sit in front of the woman. “Let me check.” She could see the frustration on her eyes that never vanished even as Ieiri began pressing the diaphragm against her chest. And as they waited for the result while simultaneously checking Sera’s breathing, Ieiri thought it was the perfect opportunity to give her an insight of the relationship between you and your husband. “Were you aware that they’re childhood lovers?”
The speed of her patient’s heartbeat suddenly increased. “Huh?”
“Y/N and Satoru,” Ieiri continued, moving the medical device on other places of her chest, “they’ve been paired since they were born. Their families have had close ties for the longest time, so they spent most of their lives together. He was very fond of her when they were kids.”
There was a flicker of anger and perplexity that appeared on Sera’s face before she masked it with a mirthless smile. “That’s in the past. He loves me now.”
Shoko pulled the stethoscope away from the woman and let it dangle around her neck. “In the past, sure. But don’t you think it’d be easier to fall in love with someone you’ve already loved before? They know each other more than anyone else in the world, they just lost each other’s sight after—”
“Why are you saying all this?” Sera cut her off, irritation streaked her voice. “Do you think I wanna hear it?! Who told you all this nonsense?”
“Your boyfriend,” she answered with an unbothered look on her face. It was a good thing that Ieiri had a perpetual calm exterior because she would have aggravated Sera more had she said it with an evil smirk. No, Ieiri wasn’t like that. But still, the woman deserved to know why her best friend’s marriage to you was not just any random marriage.
However, instead of seeing the light, Sera tauntingly raised an eyebrow up at her. “How can someone who apparently loved his childhood friend be stupid enough to stay with his current girlfriend?” Along with that, she added, “Satoru constantly tells me that he’s not even happy with their bullshit marriage. He insults her whenever he’s with me. Did he say that to you, too?”
Ieiri wasn’t even the wife, but she was at a loss of words with the audacity of this mistress to talk proudly. Why has Sera become unreasonably hostile? Ieiri wouldn’t put it past Satoru to say those things in the beginning of your marriage, but she was doubtful that he still felt the same antagonism towards you at all. “You must’ve been on cloud nine whenever he spoke ill of her.”
“Of course,” Sera spitefully replied. Shoko must have hit the nail for the woman to act inimical around her like this. “She’s actually so naive and pathetic. I feel sorry for her.”
Unbelievable. Was Satoru aware that his mistress could be this vile? That this was her true nature without her cloak of innocence? To think of it, Ieiri couldn’t even remember what he liked about this woman and she wasn’t really interested to hear about their fairytale. She was more concerned in knowing whether her best friend would actually have to suffer having Sera as the mother of his child. Tragic, she thought as she ignored Sera’s words by checking the tubes that were placed atop the counter.
The moment of truth. Shoko’s eyes widened as she finally saw the results that could change the lives of the people around her. Despite her calmness, her lips had then stretched into a thin smile.
Karma.
She wasn’t carrying his child.
It was pure, savory karma when the test tubes read only one red line each. Aside from that, a nurse came at the perfect timing by entering the clinic to hand out Sera’s blood test results. Shoko now had all the results on her hands while her patient looked at her with hopeful but anxious eyes that wanted good news for her sake and not anyone else’s. Unfortunately, these tests couldn’t be wrong.
“Sera,” Ieiri carefully said after the nurse closed the door to give them some privacy, “I think this is the heavens’ way of telling you that you’re not meant to have his baby.”
Her angelic face instantly turned white as paper while she placed a hand on her baby-less tummy, concurrently shaking her head and holding her breath. The whites of her eyes had become more visible now that she took this news with great surprise. Did she really want a baby with him that bad while he was married? This girl was truly something else. It was even pitiful how she immediately refused the results. “That can’t be possible! I’m late, I swear I’m—I was having morning sickness and other symptoms.”
“High levels of progesterone, particularly during PMS, can cause symptoms that mimic pregnancy,” she explained to her with medical facts. “Even if you were ovulating that day, there are many factors that could have prevented your conception. You seem to be under a lot of stress. When you have high levels of cortisol, it can negatively affect your ovulation and fertility. Besides, these test results are accurate and we cannot lie to our patients.”
Ieiri didn’t expect tears to quickly build up in Sera's eyes who looked absolutely devastated to hear that she was not carrying her lover’s baby. Just a minute ago, she was all lofty and defensive despite learning about yours and Satoru’s childhood relationship, yet here she was on the verge of crying as though life has been nothing but unfair to her. As if she was the neglected wife who got cheated on by her husband. Did she ever put herself in your shoes to see how awful it actually was to have a husband but with another woman in the same picture?
While Sera contained her tears, Shoko tried sliding the envelope that carried her result, but the former snatched it harshly and read the contents with the desperate belief that things would change if her eyes went over it a thousand times. “This is… This isn’t real.”
“Why do you want a baby with him so bad?” Shoko decided to ask. “He’s already married, Sera. I’m sure you’ll find someone else who can give you the family you want. Someone who doesn’t already have a wife.”
She didn’t even bother listening to Ieiri’s words when she got up and wiped her tear-stained cheeks, later pulling up a rigid face before stomping out of the clinic. Now that was a little dramatic, was it? Ieiri had to press the tips of her fingers on her temple when she followed her out of the clinic, only to see her standing face to face with an extremely nervous and restless Gojou.
“What’s the result?” he asked with eager eyes that clearly wanted a negative result. He looked back and forth between her and Sera, holding his breath as he waited in anticipation. “Is Sera pregnant? Ieiri, tell me—”
The answer wasn’t a straight yes or no. The answer was Sera ripping the results of her blood test, causing shock on both Shoko and Satoru’s faces. “I’m not,” she admitted, swallowing her pride and looking at him as if to say ‘Are you happy now?’.
Ieiri wanted to palm her face when she saw Satoru’s reaction, because it was clear that he had to at least comfort Sera from the disappointment she felt, but the man had no ounce of care when he sighed out of relief knowing how this had been burdening him all week. A curve was even tugging at his lips as he internally celebrated the idea that his and Sera’s child was nonexistent. The man looked absolutely like someone who won the lottery.
He could have at least spared his so-called mistress from this reaction.
“Thank fuck,” he mumbled under his breath with all the anxiety leaving his body completely. Somehow, Ieiri was fulfilled to have done her part by confirming that that Sera truly was not pregnant. If this had turned out otherwise, she had no idea what would happen to them or how Satoru would deal with it. At least, he no longer had to worry about it and all that he could say was, “I appreciate it, Ieiri.”
Sera, on the other hand, was great at holding her tears back in. Her eyes were red when she looked at the very man that she loved. “You’re such an insensitive prick.” With that, she walked out leaving Gojou dumbfounded by her choice of words. It was Ieiri who urged him to chase after her.
“End things with her now,” she reminded her best friend. “This is the perfect opportunity to choose your wife. If you really wanna be with Y/N, be devoted to her.”
How could this happen? Sera wanted to scream when she walked out of the hospital, wiping the ceaseless tears that gushed out of her eyes for the past few minutes. She stalled about taking the test for a whole week because she thought that Satoru would change his mind about demanding legitimate proof from her. Why was Satoru so goddamn adamant about getting Ieiri to verify her pregnancy? Didn’t he love her enough to believe her words alone? This scenario could have been ideal had he not cornered her into setting up an appointment with his best friend. What happened to trust that he had given her throughout their relationship? Why was he suddenly throwing all of that away?
“Sera, let’s talk.”
Her breathing became steady upon hearing his voice, but she didn’t bother to turn around and look at his face. It was painful, too painful to see just how candid he was at being happy about her misfortune in exchange for you. “Then, talk,” she then answered through gritted teeth.
Gojou placed his gentle hands on her shoulders and made her face him. This time around, his eyes were more sympathetic than joyous. “Sera, I’m sorry. It wasn’t meant to be,” he tried to console, pulling her for an embrace that only made her tear up even more. Having herself wrapped around his arms was breaking her heart so much more than she expected. “You’ll have a baby soon. At the right time with the right person.”
Although, despite his attempt to comfort her, his last statement led her to push him by the chest. Anger was clouding her mind at his willingness to let her go that easily. “What do you mean ‘the right person’? Did you forget what you said to me before you married that… that entitled woman?”
He sighed and did not bother pulling her for a hug again. “My wife isn’t entitled,” was his initial answer before going straight to the point, “and I already told you last time, I made promises to you that I can’t fulfill. I’m sorry for hurting you and for dragging you into this, Sera. It’s… It’s better that we stop seeing each other.”
A week ago, Satoru had no idea how much she sobbed on her pillow when he brought up the fact that he wanted you. He was not aware that Sera did not eat her meals at the right time, that she did not have the strength to get up every single day, dreading that she really was not pregnant with his child and that he would no longer have anything to hold onto. He didn’t know that she couldn’t sleep well at night as his torturous words rang in her ears like a broken record.
‘When I hurt my wife, I hurt myself, too.’ What a liar. ‘I want her. I can’t think straight when I’m not with her.’
Sera threw her fist on his chest because of the rage that was building inside her heart. “Why didn’t you tell me that you’ve known her since you were kids?” she questioned with tearful eyes. She slammed her fist harsher against him, causing the man to flinch from the pain that she was inflicting. “You made a fool out of me! Did you enjoy playing with me? It’s because I’m not rich, right? You’re ashamed of me, that’s why you’re dropping me so easily! How dare you… H-How dare you!”
Her accusations were followed with the continuous slam of her balled hands. With the amount of frustration that settled on her mind, she did not hold back from hitting him everywhere—his chest, his arm, his cheek. She was ruthless with how she slapped his face hard enough that the ring on her finger left a bleeding cut on his cheekbone. Even at that, she couldn’t refrain herself from being violent because her anger had already consumed her.
The abused, while refusing to fight back, looked at her with absolute hurt in his eyes. Still, he allowed her to hit him so she could release all of her pent-up anger while he wiped the blood on his cheek. “I’ve done worse things to my wife, but she was never this physically violent to me.”
It was only until she heard his words when Sera froze, remembering the gravity of Satoru’s trauma when it came to physical abuse. His trembling fingers and heavy breathing woke her up from the pique that arose within her—placing her in a state of momentary shock before she gathered herself together by taking a step back. In spite of her guilt, she didn’t apologize. “Don’t paint me as a bad person. I’m the one who’s always suffering here.”
“Yeah, this is all my fault,” he agreed, exhaling deeply. “Hurt me as much as you want, but don’t place the same resentment towards my wife. She’s done nothing but understand us both.”
Was she supposed to feel sorry for her? Sera released a laugh of disbelief. “You’re defending her now? You can’t be devoted overnight, Gojou. Cut the act. You know you’re just gonna end up running back to me.”
His stance remained stiff. It was clear in his eyes that there was no way for Sera to convince him to stay anymore and it was upsetting her twice as much as the last conversation that they had in the parking lot just a week ago. “I can still change and lessen the damage. I’ll do it for her.”
Ridiculous. Satoru has truly changed. She wasn’t crying because she was jealous, she was tearing up because she couldn’t accept the fact that her man had turned into another person. It felt as though she had lost the lover that showed what happiness felt like to her. The man who made her believe that dreams could turn into reality and how love could feel so magical that it would take you into another world that was ideal in every way that she imagined. But this, all of it got taken away from her because of you. “She’s not gonna be happy,” she said, gazing up at him with determination. “I assure you she won’t.”
“Is that a threat?”
“It’s a reminder.”
For the next minute, they stood in front of each other while engulfed with cold silence. Silence that felt like eternity as she stared at him and he stared at her. It was hard to believe that the man who declared his utmost love for her was now the same man who would choose someone that was not even on par with her aside from her status and wealth. Nothing was special about you except your ability to fool people with your pretentious innocence.
“Why choose her?” she asked, once and for all. “I don’t care if she’s your wife or not. Why did you suddenly change your mind?”
He reached for her face and wiped the tears on her cheek—the comfort was within his actions, but not within his words when he answered, “It’s always been her.”
“Will she be alright? Nee-chan, what if she doesn’t wake up?”
That voice came from a girl.
“Don’t be ridiculous! She’s breathing.”
And another one.
“I’ll wake her up.”
No, that was from a boy this time.
While struggling to open your eyes, you heard the familiar voices getting louder and louder as they argued about either leaving you be or waking you up from your seemingly long slumber. Was it evening already? You felt the rush of a headache when you finally managed to open your eyes, seeing an unfamiliar beige ceiling accented with gold colors. By the time you sat up, you nearly gasped when your gaze landed on the three teenagers standing at the edge of your spacious bed.
“H-Hey, guys,” you spoke with a raspy voice, attempting your best to sit up as nausea kicked back in. At the Zen’in estate was where you found yourself, but… how did you end up lying insensate in their household? “What happened? Why am I here?”
Maki, Mai, and Megumi traded glances with each other before the latter took the initiative to answer your question. “You drove here, Mrs. Gojou,” he politely confirmed, “but you passed out as soon as my dad rushed to your car.”
Christ. Because you had been sobbing nonstop while you were driving, you were no longer in the right mind as you headed to their place without prior notice after the situation that you discovered back in the hospital. All the crying was what made you feel queasy and you felt absolutely sorry for the unnecessary trouble that you’ve caused. “This is so embarrassing. I-I’m sorry, you guys—”
“No, no. It’s okay, nee-chan!” Mai immediately sat on your side and gave you a glass of water that you didn’t notice she was carrying. “Drink some water. How are you feeling?”
While you took a few gulps from the glass, the same worry could be seen in Maki’s visage. “We got so worried. Should we take you to the hospital?”
Right. The hospital. Satoru has a baby with Sera. You remembered why you came here now. Being around this young trio was what gave you solace when you first visited them back then, and you wanted an excuse to distract your pain by supposedly seeking the same peace of mind. It just so happened that you passed out, again, after shedding tears because of your husband and his mistress. This wasn’t the first time that you fainted because of the two people that constantly tormented your soul.
And now they were about to have a family together.
The thought pricked your heart with small needles, painful enough that it sent beeps to your smartwatch to signal your abnormal heartbeat. You had to quickly press the button and shut it down as you returned the twins’ concerned gazes. “I’m feeling fine, don’t worry. How long have I been unconscious?”
“About an hour,” said Megumi, assessing your face carefully. “You looked a little pale when you arrived.”
Mai rubbed your back, sadness plastering her face as she looked at you. “Are you okay? Is there anything that’s bothering you?”
“Did you have a fight with Satoru?” Maki asked, dropping any formality attached to your husband. They were all showing utmost concern as though they were ready to fight the whole world for you. How could you not love them?
But as much as you wanted to pour your feelings out to them, you stood firm with the thought that they weren’t at the right age to be exposed to the toxicity of your marriage. All you wanted was to be surrounded by the positive atmosphere that their family has, and thinking about it now, you were just going to ruin it if you ever brought up your failing relationship with your husband. They shouldn’t be burdened by your unhappiness because it was none of their concern. Your life, your marriage—you should know where to set boundaries instead of being an unwanted liability. The onus was on you, and always would be, to salvage your supposed marital bond. What even made you think that you could just barge in their home and hope that you would be free of agony in a blink of an eye? You were a hopeless case.
You opened your mouth to respond, but the sudden knock on the door held you back from further apologizing. There, standing at the corner, was Toji Zen’in who looked at the trio with communicative eyes. “Kids? Can you leave us for a while?”
It looked like the three of them were hesitant to leave you alone, but believed that it was better to give you and Toji some privacy so you could openly explain why you appeared at their house in such a pitiful state. If you were honest, you felt ashamed for having to be seen with swollen eyes and a colorless face, but you were grateful for their understanding when they all gave you a reassuring smile before completely heading out of the room. Toji only took the chance to approach you closer once the trio was out of earshot.
“Hi,” you awkwardly greeted, sitting upright as he found his own seat at the edge of the bed. “Is this your room?”
He offered a small smile while watching your emotions intently. “Guest room. How are you?”
You didn’t have to say it. You knew Toji was able to discern just through your expression alone and it was all he needed to see to conclude that you were having troubles concerning your marriage. Again. It must be tiring for him to hear, but you didn’t know who else to confide in. You couldn’t exactly tell Gen or your father about it, you couldn’t talk to Ieiri, and you had no one else but yourself. It was hard enough to explain the situation straight to the point, so you decided to beat around the bush and ask the man about something else. “Toji, do you…” you paused, keeping your eyes set on his verdant ones, “did you ever do anything unforgivable to your wife, yet she still found a way to forgive you?”
For a few minutes, his eyes were glued to the floor and you were about to apologize for unintentionally prying into his married life, but the man was quick to return your gaze with certain gentleness. “We didn’t have the same problems like you did,” he revealed, pressing his palm against the mattress as he leaned back and pushed his weight onto it, “but we did deal with my family’s scrutiny. You see, I got my wife pregnant when we were barely twenty. It was an accidental pregnancy. I wasn’t exactly an established businessman back then, and we had a shotgun marriage because my parents didn’t want Megumi to be born out of wedlock.”
You hugged your knees as you listened to his orotund voice. It was only now that you were hearing this story and you were grateful that he was allowing you to learn about it. “But you loved her, right?”
“I still do, so much.” You recognized the loneliness in his voice and could feel, for the first time since you met, that this was Toji’s vulnerable side. A side that would only come out whenever he was thinking of his late wife. “She… she didn’t make it after giving birth. I couldn’t save her. That was the moment I felt useless that I couldn’t even do anything to keep my wife by my side. She suffered with so much stress from putting up with my family, you know? If I had done anything unforgivable, it was the fact that I involved myself with her life in the first place.”
You weren’t exactly sure of what the right words were to say to provide him with the same comfort that he always gave you. You never wished so badly to have had the same ability to give the best advice like he did. Toji was a man who tragically lost a wife, not from another man, but from the separation between life and death. Seeing his situation and juxtaposing it from yours made your pain seem minuscule compared to the vast amount in his. Even though he suffered through such a colossal heartache, it was inspiring to see how Toji could still go on and live through the halcyon days of sunshine. Does time truly heal? While you couldn’t give him any comforting words, what you did was to pull him for a soft embrace.
There was warmth from his body that assuaged your throbbing heart and you hoped that he could at least get the same feeling from you. “I’m sorry to hear that, Toji.” Resting your head on his shoulder, you let out a deep breath. “I’m sure your wife doesn’t regret being with you and I know that she would’ve wanted you to be happy even when she’s no longer by your side.”
He pulled away by holding both of your arms to give you a rueful smile. “Hey, now. Weren’t you the one who came here for consolation?” Although there was a hint of playfulness in his tone, you understood that he was trying to divert from the pain of losing his wife by focusing on you instead.
Toji had done enough to try and understand you. You realized that there was no need to sugarcoat things when you finally admitted to the truth because you would have to tell him one way or another.
“Satoru got his mistress pregnant.”
It was a normal reaction to see how he widened his eyes at your revelation, but it wasn’t the best feeling in the world to think about your husband starting a family with another woman outside of your marriage. It was crushing you into pieces that couldn’t be mended. You knew that he didn’t love you. You knew that he loved Sera. You knew that he was always bound to end up with her regardless of the ties that made you husband and wife. However, you would not deny the fact that Satoru was an important person in your life. People could call you a martyr, an empath, a pitiful wife, but none of them could ever understand how hard it was to be in a position where letting go may be more painful than staying. No other pain in the world was tantamount to how you were feeling. You had your health to think about, you had your families to worry about—everything was a domino effect to the comeuppance that awaited you and Satoru.
“How sure are you?” Toji asked after a while. It was visible in his face how confused and frustrated he was on behalf of you. “Did he tell you?”
You shook your head, preventing the oncoming surge of tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes. “I saw them at the hospital. Why else would he take her to a gynecologist?”
His response was a heavy exhale. “That’s… There could be many other reasons. Don’t you wanna clear the air and talk to him about it first?”
“If he wanted to tell me, he would have already done it, you know?” You pressed your lips together. “He’s probably already thinking of divorcing me so he could marry her. He already has a reason to stay with her.”
Toji’s eyes were full of sympathy for you, but knowing your hardships and the lows you’ve been through, he was in no position to question how you were overthinking the next things that would happen because of Sera’s pregnancy. “What are you planning to do?”
You could ask yourself the same question. What am I planning to do? You’ve said it a million times that Satoru getting another woman pregnant was the last straw, but you didn’t exactly prepare the next steps that you would be taking now that you jinxed the result of his infidelity into reality. Should you take things further by legal means? You could only imagine the amount of stress that it would put both of your families in.
Before you answered, you placed a hand on your chest and rubbed the sore spot before the pain could dominate your entire body. “I’m gonna leave him.” And you meant it. You meant it even if it hurt to say it. You weren’t sure about how exactly you would leave, but you would find a way to do so. There was nothing else to hold onto and there was no marriage to fix. Only constant heartaches and recurring tears.
Upon hearing your decision, Toji glanced at your lips and held his breath. “If that’s what you—”
“Dad.” Megumi’s voice nearly startled you as the boy peeked through the door. “Sorry to interrupt, but her husband’s looking for her. He’s waiting outside.”
Oh, God. This situation. Satoru came here? Instead of feeling aggravated, you were more embarrassed that you were unexpectedly causing such a scene in the Zen’in household. Even Naoya, who emerged from the other room, was smiling in intrigue as if the situation was his daily dose of reality TV.
“I should leave.” You hurriedly got up from bed while Toji assisted you like a gentleman, and you didn’t miss his questions of whether you could walk fine or if you were still experiencing headaches. Truth be told, you were too nauseous that you wanted to throw up, but decided to just continue walking next to him until you’ve reached the grand foyer. “I’m just a little dizzy, I’ll be fine. I’m really, really sorry for troubling you and your family.”
Toji placed a hand on your back as he guided you out to the front door. He must have noticed how anxious you were to see your husband’s face again after what happened this afternoon, because you couldn’t stop chewing on your lip—a habit that you often did when you were agitated. How did Gojou even find out that you were here? You drew in a deep breath and exhaled. Act cold, you reminded yourself. Don’t show any weakness.
“I got you,” Toji whispered, matching your footsteps as you finally reached the outdoor fountain.
You immediately spotted Satoru who got out of his car with a heavy frown directed towards his business rival. He was approaching the man closer, looking back and forth between you two as he made accusations inside his head. It was easy to put malice in the situation because it wasn’t a good look for a married woman to stay at another man’s house at eight in the evening. But then again, wasn’t he the one who got another woman pregnant?
Come to think of it, you didn’t even get an explanation. All of these thoughts had awoken you from your previously anxious state, now shifting into a defensive stance in front of your husband who was visibly upset at the sight of you next to Toji.
“Before you accuse her, she didn’t cheat on you,” the raven-haired man clarified, keeping a firm countenance to uphold your dignity. “She was just here to visit the kids.”
“Hell! I’m not accusing my wife. I know her better than anyone.” You were surprised when Satoru ignored him and instead turned to you with a pleading look on his pale face. “You weren’t answering my calls. I got worried.”
“Who told you I was here?” you questioned rather curtly. The more you stared at his face, the more you could feel your ire growing each second.
“Naoya,” your husband answered, earning Toji’s huff while Satoru attempted to reach for your hand. “Where’s your car key?”
You pulled your hand away. “I’m staying at my dad’s place tonight.”
Confusion quickly bathed his eyes as if he couldn’t understand your antipathy. Was he simply clueless as to why you were acting hostile around him? He, of all people, should know that you have already reached your limit. “Y/N… If you’re mad about something, we can talk at home.”
“No.”
“But I promised you movie night, remember?”
It was absurd how he even had the audacity to bring up the movie night that he planned with you this morning when he was out all afternoon catering to his pregnant mistress. You felt sick. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”
“Yes,” he immediately responded like a docile puppy who was ready to listen to his owner, “with you.”
What game is he playing? You couldn’t understand his behavior, yet you still ended up suppressing a scoff. “You can go.”
“Baby, please. Let’s go home.” Gojou reached his hand out, but your feet were stuck on the concrete floor deciding whether or not you could sleep in his arms for another night.
After everything, you were surprisingly numb. His presence was a gasoline that ignited flames of 15,000 degrees Fahrenheit within your soul. Even when you were ice cold around him, his fire still burned through your heart.
Toji saw through your facial expression and quickly understood the dilemma that you had inside of your head. So instead of keeping his silence, he shot a grim stare towards your husband. “You want her to come home, but do things that drive her away. Make up your mind.”
As much as he tried to contain his frustration, Toji’s words were the only thing that made Satoru livid. “Our marriage is none of your damn business.”
“Marriage?” Toji smiled. “I don’t see a ring on her finger.”
You already saw it coming. You were prepared as you watched how a triggered Satoru charged at the older guy, but you got in between before he could attempt to grab Toji’s collar. You’ve caused enough disturbance in their estate and having them fighting like this was the last thing you wanted. Unfortunately, the only way to prevent it was to keep your adulterous husband away.
“Stop!” you raised your voice at him, placing your hands on his chest to hold him back. “Don’t make a scene.”
He didn’t listen. Although he wrapped an arm around your waist, he was still too angry when he looked at Toji with gritted teeth. “Ring or not, she’s still my wife. And I don’t want my wife around a womanizer like you.”
Instead of taking umbrage from your husband’s words, Toji was guffawing. “You’re one to talk.”
“Watch your—”
“Satoru, that’s enough!” Compared to Toji, he was acting like such a kid. You had no other choice but to grab his hand and drag him back into his car, opening his door and urging him to hop inside. If he was going to act like a child, you might as well treat him like one. “Get in. I’ll drive my own car.”
He gave you a look of protest. “What if you don’t follow me?”
“I’ll follow your car, just get in.” You stomped away and headed towards the white Corvette from where Toji stood, waiting for you with an amused grin displayed on his face. You were thankful that he found it entertaining at the very least because you didn’t mean to put him in such an uncomfortable spot. “I’m really sorry, Toji.”
He pinched your nose teasingly. “Stop apologizing,” and as he glanced at Gojou, his expression changed when he met your eyes with his worried ones. “You sure you can handle being around him?”
The answer was no, but it wasn’t like you had many options. This was your marriage and you would have to talk to him one way or another. “It’s fine,” you lied, opening the door to see the package atop the passenger seat. The shoes. “Oh, wait… Toji.”
The man waited in curiosity as you reached for the paper bag, pulling it out of the car before handing it to him. To say that he was surprised was an understatement, but it brought a temporary smile on your face to see him taking the gift that you purchased out of gratitude for his kindness. “What’s…?” he trailed off, peeking through the paper bag.
“It’s a gift. I thought it would look good on you,” you said as you watched how his eyes coruscated with a glint of appreciation. “Thanks for always being there for me.”
You didn’t know what was hurting you more—the fact that Gojou was pretending that nothing happened or the fact that he still didn’t bother to tell you about Sera’s pregnancy. You already spent half an hour in the bathtub for the sake of keeping your mind at peace, ruminating about how to act around a husband who had gotten his mistress pregnant. With the continuous crying that you did this afternoon, you felt like a dried prune with no more tears left to shed. You were at a point where you were choosing not to sob over your husband any longer. He didn’t deserve a single drop of your tears after all the anguish that he has put you through.
How funny would it be that he was actually hiding Sera’s pregnancy so you could raise the baby as yours instead? Perhaps he wasn’t aiming to divorce you, but would want you to remain by his side and keep Sera next to him for the rest of your lives. Your dignity was close to nonexistent since the beginning of this marriage and your husband seemed to know very well that you would always find a reason to forgive him for every hurtful thing that he could do. When has he ever shown genuine love and affection for you? It was hard enough to recognize if his actions were genuine or if he had any other underlying intentions behind it. While he did say that he would make it up to you, why did he still do things that recklessly hammered your heart to a beaten pulp?
It must be fun for him to play all these games with you. It must be entertaining how he could casually walk around your shared bedroom while you lacked the energy to argue with him. He probably believed that he had already won—that you were once again submitting to the downsides of this pathetic marriage because you cared for him more than you expected.
You were a fool for falling into his trap over and over again that it was hard to find an escape where things wouldn’t be half as painful as you imagined. Whatever Satoru’s plan was for him and Sera, did he intend to make you a side character to their romance until the day you would die?
You couldn’t blame the child that she was carrying, but it would be hard to love the same child whose mother was one of the reasons for your misery.
There was not another word spoken as you climbed into bed while your husband entered the room in a PJ set matching yours. Had this been a different situation, you would have gushed at how much of a real couple you two were acting like. Had you been the same person when this marriage first began, you would have immediately nestled up in his arms and given him the sweetest kisses on the lips.
Right now, all you could feel was resentment.
You didn’t talk as you settled into bed, resting your back against the headboard as you could see in the corner of your eyes that your husband sat on his side of the bed. He was the first one who tried to cut the tension by randomly asking, “Do you still wanna watch movies with me?”
Why was there innocence in his eyes? Why did he look happy without any trace of guilt for knocking up another woman behind your back? He told you that he was going to settle things for the both of you, but why did he seem so guiltless for ruining this marriage all the more? It even looked like he was celebrating something inside his head without any regard to your human feelings. He must hate you so much that he was not revealing Sera’s pregnancy to you.
“No.” Your expression remained stern even as he scooted closer to wrap an arm around your waist. “Get off me.”
Surprised by your attitude, he pulled away and looked at your eyes following a sigh that escaped his lips. You noticed that there was a small wound on his cheekbone as he moved inches away from your face. “Are you still mad about earlier? I’m sorry for throwing a fit. I just… get very jealous when you’re around him.”
That’s it? Toji wasn’t even the issue here. It was him and Sera. Always him and her.
“Do you have anything else to say to me?” you asked, rigid and austere as you sent him a piercing gaze. “I’d rather you tell me now than later.”
He blinked slowly as if he wasn’t ready to see this antagonism from you—as if he couldn’t believe that his gentle and loving wife was capable of being cold-hearted. You considered that if he was honest to you about his child, you would be more forgiving. All he had to do was admit everything to you. “You sound a bit angry.” On the other hand, he surprised you by planting a soft kiss on your forehead and on your cheek. “You need to calm down and get some rest.”
In the end, even if he didn’t admit to it, he already gave you an answer. His reluctance to tell you the truth was a clear sign that you were nothing but a joke to him.
“I would have been happier if I married someone else,” you spoke your own truth, only to see the wave of heartbreak that washed over his face.
Despite his ruined ego, he still buried his face on the crook of your neck. “Baby, don’t say that. I’m trying.”
Trying? You laughed inwardly. Where?
How ironic was it that you were initially the one who was hopelessly trying to make this marriage work even if you knew that your efforts were all futile in the end?
Wasn’t he the one who hated you since the very beginning? His whole ‘I never asked for you’ and ‘You’ll never be Sera’ still left bruises on your heart even if he tried his best to win you now. And yet again, there was an ache in your chest as you pushed him off, turning your back on him after you tucked yourself under the duvet. This was the moment where you had finally decided that you were done.
“Y/N—”
“Sleep on the couch. I’m not sharing a bed with you.”
Sera’s eyes were already red and swollen after crying for the past two days. Because she wasn’t ready to come to work in such a devastated state, she decided to call-in sick and stay at home for the rest of the day. Her room was a mess after she wrecked everything out of extreme frustration because it was hard to accept that she lost the only man she ever loved this much.
Satoru, the Satoru she fell deeply in love with. The Satoru who promised to divorce his wife to be with her. The Satoru who vowed to give her a beautiful life and a luxurious mansion once he was an established businessman. Was this part of his plans at all? It must be. There was no reason for him to pick you over her regardless if you had been childhood friends. He was probably saying all that so he could play his role better.
That must be the reason. He could never pick you.
These thoughts stayed with her until high noon when she finally had the strength to get up and prepare for her day. She stared at herself in the mirror and thought of how she would look in those clothes that you often wore, convinced that she could pull them off far better than you ever would. Why not? She had the perfect figure. Her face was flawless. The only thing she lacked was enough money.
“It’s always about the fucking money,” she angrily muttered under breath as she slammed her lipstick down. Soon enough, there was a knock on her door and she looked up to see her mother peeking through. “What do you want?”
The woman’s eyes were full of worry. “Are you going somewhere, my daughter? You haven’t eaten much for the past two days.”
Sera furrowed her brows and grabbed her purse. “Maybe if you cooked better food, I will.”
“But—”
“Why can’t all of you just leave me the hell alone?” she snapped, getting up from her seat to choose the best pair of sandals that she owned. “Go check on Jiro instead! You’re always all up in my face like you’ve done anything to help me earn enough money.”
The mother was hurt by her own daughter’s cruel words, but she tried to look past it by picking up the clothes that were strewn across her room. “Sera, are you having problems with your boyfriend?”
She took a deep breath, rage boiling inside her head. “What’s it to you?”
“It’s just that…” Her mom folded her clothes neatly as she talked. “You seem to be really stressed lately. I’m worried about you. You’ve never allowed us to meet your boyfriend until now, so I wanna know if he’s treating you well. Maybe you should invite him over so your father and I can get to know him.”
The simple thought of letting her family meet Satoru made her cringe. “Let him meet you? Do you see how ugly our house is? Even if we did move into a better house, this is probably just the size of his bedroom!”
The daughter glared at her mom despite the latter’s attempt at comforting her. “Sera, if he really loves you then he’ll accept you for who you are no matter how big your house is or how much money you have in your bank account.”
Funny. Sera scoffed, raising an eyebrow up at her. “If that’s so true, then why did you end up with a useless husband like our dad? Why didn’t you get to marry someone richer and more responsible?”
“That’s…”
“Don’t meddle with my personal life again,” she spoke those words carefully, grabbing her coat from the rack before walking past her mom. That woman had no right to butt in and lecture her about how to deal with men when she was not in a good position in life herself. Why did she even assume that Sera needed her advice?
On the bright side, today should be better. Sera had planned it all out after giving Miss Eula a call the night prior and the woman was very kind at reassuring her that Satoru may just be confused right now. She was told that he was only acting this way because the merger was going to be announced at the 50th Anniversary soon, so he was desperate to keep you by his side. This further confirmed Sera’s theory that Satoru only broke up with her because he had to play his part.
A smile crept up on her lips. “How pitiful.” She thought of how shattered you would be once you found out that your own husband was only using you. She couldn’t wait to talk to Satoru’s stepmom and hear some advice on how to handle her situation now that her ‘ex-boyfriend’ had decided to distance himself.
However, by the time she walked into the café, it wasn’t Miss Eula who came to their meeting place. It was一strangely一Naoya Zen’in.
Sera had to double take the sight to make sure that she wasn’t dreaming, but the man was already waving at her from his table, urging her to join him with a handsome grin on his face. It appeared that he already ordered lavish pastries and freshly brewed coffees when she did take her seat across from him. “Why are you… Where’s Miss Eula?”
“Hm?” Naoya looked up after sipping his coffee—eyes turning into moon crescents as he smiled. “Don’t worry about it. She had a last minute golf club event with her husband so it’s just you and me. Sera, right? I’m sure you already know who I am.”
This was confusing. Sera couldn’t seem to connect the dots. “Yeah. How are you related to Miss Eula?”
“Ah, that… She’s like a second mom to me.” There was no hint of dishonesty in Naoya’s playful eyes. Although the man was a known casanova, his friendliness could not be mistaken as flirting. Or perhaps Sera had taken his interest? Either way, the man went straight to the point when he spoke again. “You don’t have to feel uncomfortable around me. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Sera tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ear and grabbed the cup of coffee. “Like what?”
“That you’re the woman that captured Satoru-kun’s heart?” he casually brought up, gazing at her every feature as if he was mesmerized by her beauty. “I can see why. Aside from being hardworking, you’re incredibly gorgeous. It’s a shame he’s married to someone like Y/N, you know? She may have the status and the wealth, but that’s all that she has.”
So he could understand her point very well. That’s great. Sera was already too engaged in the conversation before she knew it. “Why did you wanna meet me?”
Naoya comfortably leaned back on his seat and tapped the mahogany table as he responded, “I admire people like Eula—I mean, Mrs. Gojou. She didn’t come from an affluent family so she worked her way up and achieved everything that she wanted because she deserved it. After hearing about you from her, I instantly wanted to partake in helping you out.”
“Helping me?” The Americano coffee left a bitter taste on her tongue as she looked at him in curiosity.
The man chuckled at how innocent her eyes were. Since she had such an angelic face, he must be starstruck with her immense beauty. “Yeah, like giving you advice on how to win Satoru-kun back and secure him in your life. You can’t let that awful woman take him away just because she’s rich. You had him first, so you need to stake your claim.” He then sighed dramatically before adding, “Damn, I hate it when people like you get treated unfairly.”
He’s right. He’s so right. Sera leaned forward as her interest in the conversation spiked up even more. “Shouldn’t you hate Satoru? You’re a business rival.”
“But we’re not talking about business, are we?” Naoya shrugged. “We’re good acquaintances outside of the business world. I actually admire him and wish him the best. His stepmom wouldn’t be talking to me if I was someone to be wary of, don’t you think?”
She considered the thought and agreed because Naoya didn’t seem to raise any suspicions from her. In fact, he gained her trust the minute he spoke about her exact sentiments. It was the first time she had ever heard someone with the same status and wealth like Naoya openly acknowledge her struggles and just how unfair life was to average people like her. He was kind, perceptive, and sagacious. He was a man of good judgement and character. Taking all of those into consideration, she finally decided to open up. “He actually broke up with me,” the words left her mouth with distinct sadness, “I think it’s very timely that the merger is coming up which is why he did it, but it also made me wonder if he really does like her.”
“Doubt it,” Naoya affirmed without a second to spare. “There’s nothing much to like about her, and even if he was blinded, it’s all on the surface. He’s probably just able to relate to her more than he can with you. Think about it, Y/N-chan wears Chanel, her bags are Birkin, and her shoes are Stuart Weitzman. Satoru-kun wears Zegna, his shoes are Ferragamo. They fit together, so where does that fit you and your no-name clothes?”
Sera furrowed her brows and held the cup tighter. “You’re so mean.”
“I’m just stating my point, beautiful. Honesty is better than sugar-coating things.” He looked at her, unfazed by her pout. “If you wanna get his attention back, you need to change some things, be it the way you dress or the way you talk. Satoru-kun may not say it, but he likes women with class.” The man smirked as he made his point. “Technically, that’s Y/N-chan’s domain. She exudes grace like royalty and that’s because she was treated like a princess since she was born. It’s second nature to her.”
She wasn’t enjoying the praises that Naoya was giving you so she placed her own judgement on top of his. “Well, she never really understood other people’s struggles and is acting all righteous. She literally has the whole world bowing at her feet and she wants to take Satoru away from me, too. That’s not classy to me. It makes her look cheap and obsessive.”
“Fair point.” Naoya hummed in agreement, seemingly amused by Sera’s choice of words. “But talking trash about her shouldn’t be your goal. That’s the one thing you should never do when you’re talking to Satoru. It’s all reverse psychology一praise her when you’re around him and he’ll start to think highly of you. You also shouldn’t act hostile around her, especially in public, because she’s a woman who cares about her family’s image. You’d look like the bad guy in that situation.”
For Sera, everything that Naoya said actually made so much sense, and she never truly realized things in that perspective until now. Perhaps keeping him around would be really beneficial to her in the long run. “It’s gonna be difficult not to confront her since we’re gonna bump into each other again soon.”
The blond nodded in remembrance. “Right, the anniversary? That’s a huge event. She’s gonna be the star of the show.”
For sure. She had no doubt that you would be flaunting yourself again to let everyone know that you were the wife of the Chairman’s son. “I bet she has everything prepared. Her dress, her shoes…”
“What do you have?” Naoya inquired. “Have you chosen a dress?
“Well, Miss Eula was actually supposed to meet me today so she could lend me one of her Dior dresses,” she said, now recalling that she had nothing to wear since the woman didn’t show up today.
As she pondered on how she was going to find a last minute dress, Naoya seemed to have a better idea than she did because the man was quickly proposing a deal, “I have this friend who manages the boutique for Elie Saab. Let me take you there.”
Was she Cinderella?
Sera couldn’t believe that she was surrounded by men who would willingly buy things for her just to make her feel like the most beautiful princess in the world. She barely knew Naoya personally, but she couldn’t doubt the genuineness that he was showing when he took her to one of their luxury malls. It completely left her mind just how wealthy the man was for being one of the Zen’in heirs, and she was feeling powerful even by standing next to him alone. Shop assistants would bow at her with respect and greet her like she was a VIP because Naoya’s presence also gave her the appeal of an elite.
She hadn’t felt this way before because Gojou never took her out on dates publicly, so she couldn’t enjoy the benefits of being regarded like an aristocrat. And frankly? She enjoyed this. She basked in the feeling of being envied by the low-status people around her—of being seen as part of the upper echelon. It gave her the confidence to hold her chin up high as she followed Naoya inside the store, eyes wandering on the voluminous space that housed a palette of light-toned gowns and dresses that were worth more than she could ever afford.
“Naoya,” a rich-looking woman, assumingly in her early 30’s, came out of the back office to greet the man with a cheek-kiss. “Are you doing rounds?”
Just as Sera expected, Naoya was a social butterfly. He was all smiles when he talked to the woman as though it was easy for him to form any sort of conversation to all kinds of people. Didn’t he study marketing? He seemed to excel with his interpersonal skills. “Meredith, this is Sera,” he introduced the two women with a smile, “Sera, this Meredith Cho. She’s the General Manager for Elie Saab in Japan.”
It was a little intimidating for Sera to have conversations with a woman like her, so she kept to herself and only greeted her with a courteous smile. “Nice to meet you.”
“Is this your new girlfriend?” the woman asked, grinning at Naoya. Her stance and her lack of acknowledgement made Sera believe that the woman was not interested in her, but was only being polite because of Naoya. What a bitch.
The blond quickly erupted into a cackle. “Come on, Meredith. Not all girls I hang out with are my girlfriends. Sera’s a new friend of mine.” He briefly glanced at her before clearing his throat. “Listen, she needs a dress for a really big event. I’m just wondering if you still have the one that you mentioned to me before?”
Meredith’s eyes widened. “Oh, you mean the one for—”
“Yeah,” Naoya hastily nodded. “That dress. I need it for her. Can you get it for me?”
While she did smile awkwardly, Meredith seemed to have no other choice but to agree. Sera has never felt the urge to pull someone’s hair before. Did this girl actually think that Sera was not worthy to wear the special dress that Naoya was talking about? Because she looked at her from head-to-toe and gave her the fakest smile she had ever seen. “Right, I think it’ll fit her perfectly. Do you wanna come to the back and check it with me first, Naoya?”
The message was clear with her countenance alone. Meredith was certainly going to speak to Naoya in private and ask her what the hell was going through his head to offer such a luxurious dress for a nobody.
“I’ll follow you in a minute,” Naoya told her, watching her fade into the back room while the man turned to Sera. “Can you wait for a while? It’s going to be worth it.”
She hesitated. “That dress seems expensive. I don’t have the money.”
His grin was as smug as ever. “It’s worth four million, but we’re not gonna buy it. We’re just gonna rent it. You have nothing to worry about.”
Sera wasn’t aware that you could rent gowns from high fashion designers like Elie Saab. Or perhaps it was only possible for special requests? Since Naoya was technically the owner of the mall where this boutique resided in, it was only polite to grant his request especially that Meredith was apparently ‘a good friend’ of his or whatever.
She simply waited as Naoya finally left and took interest at the nearby mirror to look at her reflection. From an outsider perspective, Sera’s chosen clothes were already giving her the appeal of an above-average person who seemed to have a decent professional job. But this, she pivoted her body as she stared at herself, this isn’t enough. Your style wasn’t even original, so why couldn’t Sera do the same? She was probably going to look tons better in those clothes than you ever would.
Surprisingly, while she was assessing herself in the mirror, she saw a reflection of a familiar man coming into the boutique with two bodyguards following him behind. His deep voice echoed through the place as all shop assistants lined up to give him a ninety-degree bow until his eyes met Sera’s in great surprise.
It was Toji Zen’in. Luck must be on her side for her to have the chance to befriend both Naoya and Toji on the same day without expecting it. Before she knew it, she turned around and walked closer to him. It was the perfect chance to make these connections. Since Toji seemed to be close to you, Sera wanted to make sure that she could ruin whatever image he had of you in his head.
“Hi,” she began, holding out her hand as an attempt to introduce herself. “I wasn’t able to greet you last time. My name’s Sera.”
It’s impossible that he doesn’t give in. He's a man. Sera realized how dignified he appeared to be—even better than Satoru could ever show in his lifetime. Aside from the fact that he was more powerful and influential in the business world, he also seemed to treat women well. Perhaps he was just feeling bad for you after all.
And while she waited for him to return the gesture, Toji’s eyes did a quick scan of her face before he waved a dismissive hand. “Not interested.”
Huh? Sera stood like a statue caught off guard by the man’s blatant disregard. She was barely processing the way he brushed her off as she watched how the man proceeded to speak to one of the staff.
“I heard Naoya’s in here?” he asked, earning the nod of every store staff member.
And just on cue, the man of honorable mention walked out of the back room in utter surprise. “Toji-kun?” he asked, glancing at Sera then back at him. “Are you doing fieldwork?”
The man nodded once. “I’m taking the kids out for a dinner cruise. Do you wanna come?”
Naoya let out an awkward laugh. Sera was initially very impressed by his domineering personality just a while ago, but Toji clearly has the position of being the most powerful Zen’in in the family. The distinction was too obvious between them. “Ah, I’m kinda in the middle of something, you know.”
Toji didn’t have to look at Sera for her to know that his eyes briefly went to her. “Fine. Don’t cause trouble,” was the last thing he said to Naoya before he walked out of the boutique with his bodyguards trailing behind.
Interesting. Instead of being offended, Toji’s presence roused excitement in her. Sera considered that the man may only be putting up the ‘hard to get’ act. She wouldn’t be surprised if you seduced him just to get him on your side because how else could you make a stoic man have a soft spot for you?
Perhaps you weren’t as innocent as people thought after all.
On the day of the Gojou Group’s 50th Anniversary, you had an excuse to be away from your husband the night prior. Given that he was busy with the preparations, you’ve decided to stay at your dad’s mansion since you were going to attend the event together in the same car. Still, even one night away from your husband didn’t stop him from bombarding you with several messages that did not receive a single reply throughout the night.
Satoru: I miss you. I had a really long and tiring day
Satoru: I can’t sleep when you’re not with me
Satoru: Have you had dinner? Please take care of yourself
Satoru: Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.
You frowned as you browsed through the text messages that he left you, confused at how he was acting clingy when he could have taken advantage of your absence to go visit the mother of his child. In fact, you hated that he was trying to be affectionate at all because it was giving you a hard time to stick to your decision. No amount of sweet-talking could ever sway your resolve to end things with him once and for all. If he believed that he could cajole you into becoming his affectionate wife again, he should consider himself a clown for thinking so.
All of your negative thoughts must have reflected on your face because your father noticed it when he took a few seconds to glance at you. “Everything alright, darling?”
You offered a small smile and looked outside the window while the car was en route to the InterContinental. “Yes, dad. Are you pushing through with the merger today?”
Your father exhaled and stretched his legs out. “Mhm. That’s the plan. We haven’t finalized the contract but the official announcement will be held tonight as a surprise. Expect it to be on the main headlines the next morning.”
“That’s good.” Tilting your head to look at your dad, you reached out to squeeze his hand. “I’m so glad that I get to come with you to that event, dad.”
There was a look of confusion that lingered on his eyes. “Come on, now. Your husband probably would have wanted you to go together.” Although he was smiling, he also didn’t forget to point out the dress you were wearing. “But I’m not sure if he’ll be pleased to see you in that dress.”
If anything, it would be euphoric to see Satoru’s reaction to the revealing dress that you were wearing. “I’m twenty-five, dad. I’m allowed to wear whatever I want without my husband’s permission.” Besides, you’ve been coordinating with your seamstress for the past two weeks just to make sure that the black dress would look exactly as you envisioned. It oozed of both sophistication and sexiness—meticulously cut to show peekaboo placements within your cleavage and your midriff, added by the risque double slit that accentuated your figure perfectly.
As you expected, the dress was an eye-catcher.
You noted the faces of the company employees and the photographers as soon as you stepped out of the sedan, an arm looped around your father’s while you walked further into the red carpet. There were gasps from the bystanders who were all in awe at your presence as they stood mesmerized by your arrival. You could hear murmurs of how good you looked, of how bold your choice of dress was, and of how they never expected you to wear something so revealing. You also didn’t miss the hushed voices of some women wondering who the designer of your dress was. But the most priceless reaction was from your husband who met you halfway on the red carpet—cerulean eyes bulging out of their sockets as he gaped at you entirely. He had to halt his footsteps, eyeing every inch of skin that was shown from your dress, before continuing to approach you with a perplexed face.
His expression was saying, ‘What the hell are you wearing?’ but he did not voice it out when he leaned in to give you a kiss on the cheek. “You look gorgeous, babe.” And while locking a protective arm around your waist, he then greeted your father. “Dad, thank you for coming.”
“Pleasure is mine, son.” After patting your husband’s back, your dad’s attention was quickly snatched away by your father-in-law and all the other businessmen that were in attendance for tonight’s grandiose celebration.
You ended up having your photos snapped by photographers as you stood next to your husband who never once removed his arm around your waist—a clear move of claiming you in front of all the people in the venue. “Do you have to stand too close?” you mumbled, flashes of white blinding your sight as you heard the shutter go off from every corner. This all felt like a movie premiere and that you were an A-list celebrity whose attention was sought by the audience that surrounded you.
“Did you have to wear that dress?” was Satoru’s rebuttal, though he kept his composure by caressing his thumb on your hip.
“What can I say,” you smiled at one of the photographers as you spoke under your breath, “I love being an attention-seeker.”
Since all eyes were on the both of you everywhere you went, Gojou couldn’t argue with you about anything except to stick by your side for the whole night. It was strange that he didn’t bother to leave unnecessary comments to you just like he did back at the auction event, and instead, he was acting like a complete gentleman for holding your hand and guiding your steps inside the grand ballroom. He took the initiative to introduce you to some of the known businessmen in the industry who all praised you for being the best looking couple to come out since Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie.
You may be impassive towards him, but you still found him ridiculously handsome tonight with his custom-tailored navy blue Brioni suit, emphasizing his lean but muscular physique that was proportionate to his towering height. You could understand the women that looked at your husband’s way because his godly features were out of this world, but all of the compliments that you had for him inside your head had vanished as soon as you caught sight of Sera standing near one of the cocktail tables from a few meters away.
At first, you were surprised. No, stunned. Perhaps even baffled as you eyed her chosen formal attire when she turned to your way while talking to some of her coworkers.
And then you wanted to snort of laughter after getting a full view of her dress. Even Satoru himself had a visible frown when he caught a glimpse of her from a distance. She was wearing such an elaborate pearl satin dress with light gold threads and sewn beads that made her look like she was attending a wedding instead of a company event. But even more, her dress was—
“Y/N, Satoru!”
Turning to the owner of the voice, you were greeted by Mei Mei who was wearing a Zuhair Murad long-sleeved purple gown that you recognized from a recent collection. She exchanged cheek-kisses between you and your husband before walking with you to your designated table. “Feels like a movie premiere, huh? I organized this whole event.”
“No, you didn’t.” Satoru grinned at her while intertwining his fingers with yours. “You just took care of the budget.”
You tried to ignore your husband by acknowledging Mei. “I love your dress, Mei. You look beautiful.”
“I love your dress,” she corrected, “You’re leaving such an impression with how sexy you look. I think every person in this place will remember you after tonight. I wonder how Satoru feels about that?”
Your husband was shaking his head in displeasure. “Wife’s body is for my eyes only.”
Jesus. You wanted to roll your eyes as you looked around to see Yuuta next to his mother. Nana’s absence made you realize that she must have retired trying to attend social gatherings like this because of her old age. On the other hand, you weren’t surprised to see your husband’s stepmom wearing a fancy beige embellished gown with purple patterns and an ostentatious fur resting on her shoulders. You couldn’t understand why she felt the need to wear excessive jewelry when the dress was already glamorous in itself. Honestly, if you were going to round up all the attendees tonight, you would place her and Sera as the most ridiculously dressed. It seemed like they were competing for a pageant, afraid to be overshadowed by anyone else.
To think of it, how could Sera possibly afford that dress? You weren’t trying to demean her, but realistically, it was an exclusive piece from Elie Saab. Realizing that Satoru may have bought it for her suddenly allowed your rage to come back. He couldn’t have done it to insult you, right? You released his hand out of spite as you watched Sera from afar. Her bump wasn’t visible at this stage, so how long could she be pregnant? Three weeks? Four?
Gojou took notice of how stern your gaze was and lifted your chin. “Look at me only,” he said, leaning in to kiss you.
But you dodged his lips before they landed on your lips. “Can you not kiss me in front of everyone?”
Did he expect you to still play the part of a devoted wife just to hide his infidelity? Was he trying to protect the mother of his child by using you as a decoy? He was nuts.
You didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night. Even as you were seated next to each other on a round table along with both of your fathers, his stepmom, and Yuuta—not once did you try to hold another conversation with your own husband. You had an excuse of being too focused on the presentations and the performances that were on-going during the event, trying as much as possible to pay no single attention to the hand that was on your thigh each time your eyes wandered around the place.
At some point, you saw Sera again and she was engaged in a conversation with a man—perhaps a colleague—who appeared to have taken an interest in your husband’s mistress. First of all, you pitied that man for being attracted to a woman who was already about to have a family with a married man. Second, you expected that Satoru would jump on his feet and yell at the guy to back off.
Contrarily, he did none of that.
Was he not jealous? All your husband did was look at Sera and the other man before turning his attention back to you and your untouched food. “You don’t like the food?” he asked, rubbing your back. “Do you want something else?”
You suppressed an exhale from coming out. “I don’t have the appetite.” Those were not lies, either. The dishes were great, but your taste buds just didn’t seem to enjoy the decadent meals except for the lemon bars that you’ve happily eaten.
Satoru noticed your food preference and immediately called for a waiter and asked him to bring you more lemon bars.
“You didn’t have to do that,” you muttered, averting your eyes away. When he was showing care and affection like this, when he was being perceptive to your likes and dislikes, when he was being a normal husband under all his facade—you were only hurting more and more inside. You couldn’t stop the sudden pounding in your chest as you thought about the days that would come after this night. The next weeks, months, and years. Would you still feel the same anguish that you were experiencing now?
Despite the growing pain in your chest, you were momentarily distracted when your father-in-law walked up to the stage to give his welcoming speech.
“As we commemorate our 50th founding anniversary, I would like to express my deepest gratitude to everyone in this company for their commendable performance. I am very proud of the way the company has evolved and risen to the challenge even in the face of adversity. Your professionalism, dedication, and patience served as an inspiration to each and every person, including myself as the Chairman and CEO, and for my son, Satoru, who is the current Vice President and the future of the Gojou Group.”
You felt guilty. Guilty, because you didn’t wish to ruin the smile on Satoru’s face as he finally received a well-deserved recognition from his father. Guilty, because this night was meant to be celebrated after half a century of competitive business and market growth.
But to recall all the moments you’ve suffered as a wife to your husband, to see his mistress in the same room without any ounce of repentance on her face, to sit beside the man who vowed to stay with you until death do you part—you realized that your choice should always be yourself. Not him, not the business, and certainly not Sera.
At the end of the day, this was going to happen whether you wanted it or not. This marriage was doomed ever since you met Satoru on the altar and continued exchanging vows with him, even as his eyes refused you of the love a groom was meant to have for his bride.
I have to protect me, you reminded yourself. My heart, my soul. You should be spared of this pain from hereafter.
When your father-in-law returned to his seat and joined the rest of you in the round table, your face was solemn as you wiped your mouth with a napkin. You could see your father and your in-laws expressing their excitement over the announcement of the merger that would soon come up in a few minutes. You could see Yuuta congratulating Satoru for his contribution to the company’s success. Everyone had their own reasons to smile except for you.
“I want a divorce.”
The reaction was just as you expected. Someone choking on their drink, someone dropping a fork, but the common reaction that everyone in that round table all shared was to look at you in great shock.
“My goodness!”
“Nee-chan…”
“Y/N…”
Satoru was as pale as a ghost. His eyes were wide and his breathing became still as if your announcement had put him into a daze. He was speechless, caught off guard while processing the words that flew out of your mouth. He couldn’t even blink, speak, or do anything but to turn his head to look at you with shiny eyes.
Strangely enough, your father-in-law’s initial reaction was to glare at his son before he looked back and forth between you and your husband. Your father, on one hand, remained calm and collected even if he was just as confused. Your stepmother pretended to be surprised, but you recognized it when someone was faking their reactions. As for Yuuta, well… he looked worried for his stepbrother.
“Baby,” Satoru pleaded, squeezing your hand and desperately shaking his head as though he was convincing you to not proceed with this. The brokenness in his voice and the stretch of pain evident from his face almost made your heart pump heavier than normal.
Your father-in-law laughed awkwardly. It seemed that he, too, was about to lose his sanity from your sudden request. “Are you… Are you sure about this, Y/N? It’s too soon. I don’t think this is the perfect time to—”
“Darling,” your father chimed in with his serious, domineering voice that overpowered your dad-in-law’s. It was for the first time in a long while that your dad showed this kind of dour expression. This version of your dad was scary, but you knew that he would support you with whatever you choose to do. “Are you sure you want a divorce?”
“Yes. I’m sure.” You held your chin up high. There was no time to feel sorrow right now. You could cry when you were alone in your room, but tonight you had to show a different side of you. “I’ll draw up the papers as soon as possible. As for the reason for the divorce, your son can speak for himself.”
Your job was done here.
Despite the devastation that casted your husband’s face, you tried to not to give in as you got up from your seat and paid a courteous bow towards your father and in-laws before you left all of them completely stupefied at the round table.
Your footsteps were small, but haste as you walked past the guests who had no single idea what occurred between you and your family. They all had no idea that their Vice President was in an extramarital relationship with one of the company’s receptionists and that your marriage had fallen apart because of them.
And just how timely it was that you came across Sera just before you could make an exit out of the grand ballroom as she looked at you with her full lashes and brown doe eyes. You couldn’t help but glance at her stomach and feel absolutely sickened by the image of infidelity that plagued your mind with the most heartbreaking thoughts.
She raised an eyebrow up at you and crossed her arms. “Are you happy that you got everyone’s attention with your dress?”
What? You remained level-headed despite her taunting remark.
“Just so you know… Your dress,” your voice was calmer than the sea, but your eyes were as cold as ice when you looked at her from head-to-toe, “is the same dress I had rejected for my wedding reception. Don’t embarrass yourself in front of me again.”
You had no idea why Sera would pick a dress that was specifically tailored for you, but it seemed that she wanted to ridicule you with it not knowing that it was her who looked pitiful.
“You seem to want everything that I have, Sera.”
Your husband, your marriage, and your life as a mother of his child. What else did she want? Your house, your car, and your jewelry? You didn’t stay to see her reaction when you walked out of that godforsaken place to leave her standing immobile from where she stood.
You didn’t stay to hear Satoru calling for your name because you knew that if you showed even the tiniest bit of weakness, all the walls you’ve built around yourself would just come crashing back down to ground zero.
Maybe the most tragic part of this was the fact that you really did love Satoru a lot more than you allowed yourself to.
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