You don't own me @lunajulians - Tumblr Blog

timcslipx‌:

admittedly, from someone so young and naive looking, the words that follow in regards to sex almost startle her. almost. mimi was not the kind at all to tip toe around such things, rather open in her embrace of the subject, and so she could never consider herself adverse enough to be shocked outright by most of what it entailed. however, philosophy was not a matter she’d ever be concerned with, regarding sex or otherwise, so instead of allowing an actual moment to delve further into the content permitted, there’s a mere chuckle that follows. “you’re cute. i might actually like you, curly.”

any further praise ceases as easily as it comes, downing the rest of her beer and prepping for another as the tale continues. there’s enough to unravel in what he so freely gives, and beyond the immediate attraction or an offer of sanctuary, there’s an understanding that his bruises were inflicted by another carelessly rather than an accident waiting to happen. and it piques her interest enough to halt her a moment more as she begins her stride back to the fridge to grab several more beers, yet it isn’t what she speaks towards when her lips part again. dwelling on that sort of thing may not have been best for the time.

“well han’s an idiot in enough ways, so committing to someone he feels so much for probably shouldn’t surprise me.” he wasn’t like her, toying with people frequently enough that his passion had grown near intangible, fleeting. he could still feel with all this intensity and could pursue it as such, purely. the only thing she seemed to feel anything similarly towards recently was her work and even that came and went at times. “more so because ..” she’s propping open the fridge door again. “he simply doesn’t feel for people in that way at all.” even when it came to family, he was less obvious about it. always burying a little more than he should beneath the surface even while giving the impression that he was being as honest as anyone could. his explosive moments were likely as close to truth as it came.

more beers finally in hand, mimi shifts back to the table again with arms full, the sound of an open can filling the air once more.

checking the feed on his phone seemed like the most aggravating task in the world right now, but with the limited amount of options available to him he saw nothing else to do. mimi wasn’t someone who would pry too much or if it disinterested her she wouldn’t even bother, and he could respect that but that didn’t mean they would stop throwing quips at each other. when it came to sex julian didn’t really have any issue in openly expressing anything, non heteronormative sex has been demonized and never disclosed in sex ed classes so young lgbtq+ people would be finding themselves having to look for other resources of information which might not be the best. “thanks, cause you’ll be seeing me a lot more, hopefully.” he grinned.

“i mean he is a man so the idiot just comes with the territory. surprised me. didn’t think i’d be so lucky to have him pining after me like that, thought it would be the other way around if i’m being honest, and yet he did start everything between us.” he commented, a bit vague as to not give any details or leverage on the situation. after all mimi was his sister and she would tease him relentlessly with whatever ammo julian could supply. he watched her grab a couple of more beers and wondered if that was going to be her breakfast. mimi looked like a porcelain doll, but her habits made her look like a character in king of the hill.

“i know, if i piqued his interest it must mean something, especially since i don’t think he’d be the type to have someone over just like that. sure he could find someone aesthetically pleasing but unless they’ve got something going on in their noggin i doubt he’d find them beautiful or otherwise.” he hummed. “i’ve seen him smile a lot, and i don’t know if that’s normal or not, and he has a thing for my eyes. and don’t worry we’ll try to keep the ruckus down so you won’t have to hear us when we’re together. no promises though.”

#c:mimi

sshibalx‌:

a slow nod answered Julian’s assumptions a smirk on the face, as he pulled his boy closer. the mind flashing back to the sound of giggles against the museum partitions. it was, by far, the favorite sound to come out of Julian’s mouth, though this could easily change, couldn’t it? as suggestive as his comment sounded, Han wasn’t sure if there would be a contender for his favorite noise. however, the mind wandering to more intimate sounds and how they’d be achieved did stir a curiosity. “We’ll have to explore these noises.” though there was an obvious crutch that would hinder these plans. his eyes flashed to the arm in the sling as he pursed his lips. “Once you’re feeling better.”

the levels of comfort created a new all time high as Julian rested his head against Han’s shoulder. he helped guide a further nuzzle with fingertips loosely tucked within the entanglements of Julian’s hair in the back of his neck. the smile continued to creep across Han’s mouth. a content sigh of relief escaping his mouth with that guaranteed security he attempted to supply. Julian was safe as long as he was in those arms. it was a promise Han would keep, unspoken though, and whatever the cost. together they walked, their strides matched despite the height difference to the car. replacing fingertips in hair for fingertips in fingertips, it was an oddly new feeling, holding hands so freely sent a shiver up the spine in an oddly creepy fashion. it was a satisfying relief– the fact that the paparazzi were out of the equation. the allowance of such physical display of affection– without a second thought– felt all too familiar in Julian’s touch.

in form of a true gentleman, and in complete contrast to the scene from before, Han assumed the role of doting boyfriend all too quickly. pulling on the door handle for Julian, he was once again reminded of the same curiosity of Julian noises– ones he did indeed plan on hearing. the eyes flickered once again to the ailed arm. with a bite to his lip Han agreed, “I think that could be arranged. But I’m worried that a shower would be a bit counterproductive, if you’re enlisting my help” with his free hand, he pushed back the bangs of the other to reveal the eyes which hid. his new favorite color reflected back, “I’ll be distracted, of course. Or, I gather that is your point for bringing up such a topic?”

how could two souls who’d just met be this infatuated with each other? as if their destinies were interlaced and their paths were woven so that they would meet. julian wondered what decisions he could have taken in this life that led him to han, a man who swore to be his knight and whose smile was already brightening up his worst day. julian’s mind was busy thinking of the many ways he could return the many hours he’d spent thinking about the man, and wondering about the what ifs? he knew he’d have to wait for the more intimate moments as he wasn’t in the right physical state to try anything. “don’t worry, there are still things i can do even if one of my arms is currently unable to perform. i’ve got a mouth, don’t i?” he smirked. “once i’m feeling better you won’t want to get your hands off of me.”

sweet and tender moments like this were few and far in between his life, and he wondered how many more would he be witness to now that he belonged to someone. julian held han’s hand already feeling warm at they way it felt entirely perfect and natural to be doing this with him. the way back to the car was short thanks to the shortage of paparazzi and now they just looked like any regular couple. were they a couple? there was still a big question mark as to what exactly they could be defined as, but maybe they didn’t have to, it was their relationship and they would make the rules. watching han act like the best boyfriend ever, he felt entirely giddy and enamored. “i’m enlisting your help because i won’t be able to get the full shower and clean experience, and besides, not like it’s going to be the only time you’ll get to see me naked.” he grinned. “maybe i am plotting something, but honestly i’ll take anything that just lets me be closer to you, han.”

#c:han

sent ↬ julian

han: I can try, and you can't stop me from trying. Can you?

han: you're lucky in this aspect, or perhaps way more patient than I will ever be. possibly a mixture of both.

han: and you're right, I do want you to myself. I'd rather not share, no. and you'll have me all to yourself in return. it's ideal, is it not? we can indulge in so many... pancakes this weekend.

han: also, news? do I get a hint at least? you know leaving me to my own deductions is dangerous. Or do you dare torture me for the rest of the night?

han: actually, don't answer that. I know the answer as I'm reminded of that adorable grin on your face when you send me your pictures.

julian: you're right i can't and you can't stop me. i mean i could definitely try to stop you in a very different ways

julian: i am lucky, i'm yours aren't i? luckiest guy there is. i have to be patient to be your boyfriend otherwise, i would've already destroyed the world in a fit of annoyance

julian: you won't have to. i mean i do have you all to myself, except for right now because you're off somewhere doing who knows what. true, we could, but i just want to spend time with you.

julian: [unsent] stop making me fucking smile so much, i'm supposed to be mad at you, and god i really fucking love you.

julian: nope, no hints. and you'll be getting a few of those pictures soon so you'll have incentive to hurry up.

julian: oh, you saying i make things hard for you at work ;)

#c:han

simonmuhn‌:

@lunajulians

Mimi staying with Simon certainly had been an adjustment. He’d gotten used to not living alone anymore, but Mimi was certainly different than anyone else. Her arrival had been abrupt, so he shouldn’t have been surprised that she had left some of her things at Han’s place still. And, like any good fake boyfriend, it meant that Simon was the one who would swing by and pick it up.

He’d been to Han’s place plenty of times in the past. He’d expected the house to be quiet, but on his way in, he’d bumped into someone that certainly wasn’t Han. Based on his assumption, and Mimi’s own description, he could only assume it was none other than the boyfriend that Han was so obsessed about.

“I…thought I’d be alone. I didn’t see you there,” He explained but offered no real apology. “…Julian, correct?”

Even he hadn’t really gotten to know her in depth, Julian already missed Mimi’s presence around the house. The boy felt isolated in such a large place, not as big as his parent’s but enough to make him wish he had some other ways to pass the time other than wait for his boyfriend to get home. She had gone off somewhere with some dude, but Han hadn’t really specified much about that, and Julian wasn’t really one to pry either way.

Mindlessly wandering about he let his mind drift before his body felt a sudden impact with another body. Julian took his time to register the male’s voice before his face came into full view, and he had a pretty good idea who he was. Simon. “So were you sneaking in here to sniff Han’s panties or Mimi’s?” the boy quickly teased, before smiling over at the guy. “Simon.” he nodded as acknowledgement that they know of each other at least.

From behind the male he could spot movement, sluggish and hazy until the silhouettes began to appear one after the other. It only took him a moment to realize that the little bit of skin contact had triggered something, and now he was hearing and seeing people speak in different languages. “Fuck, you’re a mutant aren’t you?” he blurted out. “From the looks of it you must be one with a connection to spiritual world, making you one with mediumship abilities. Which also leads me to believe I have some sort of tactile power absorption since none of this has ever happened before. I guess my thesis on mutant genetics and powers is accurate.” Taking a good look at the other, he smiled. “Han never mentioned his best friend was hot, but I guess it would be weird if he did. Also your dead people are annoying me.” he grumbled, before shooting a few sentences in fluent korean at some ghosts.

#c:simon

saraxiaos‌:

“Know any other hot doctors? Or even a semi-attractive shrink?” Sara playfully asked. Okay, maybe she was only half-way serious. “I’ve been on my feet all day every day, had people yell at me, long hours and probably not enough pay for the job…I think I’m more than ready for a night drinking,” She rambled, then looked down at the bottle in her hands. “Maybe if I get another one and I can pass out by midnight or so…”

“This was a one time thing, but I’ll see what I can do about the semi attractive shrink. Do you prefer them to have a criminal record or not, tattoo’s? a really huge dic...dictionary in which he can find new ways to tell you how much he truly adores your smile.” he smirked, looking over at her. “Maybe take it to go, and just try to relax. Maybe vent your frustrations in one of those rooms that you rent to let you destroy things and go ham.”

#c:sara

timcslipx‌:

believe it or not, ‘stray’ had become something of endearing term for her. pets, people – the form didn’t much concern her. at one point, these various figures allowed for those fleeting moments of warmth and affection; they still held worth. even if she barely recalled the faces that came alongside. truly, it was a kind of compliment. “cute, but that just seems needlessly violent. even in bed.” she retorts following a sip of beer, his own remarks about his physical state otherwise drawing little else in return. the fact that he was willing to joke about in such a way was promising, however.

“what do you mean ‘just bumping into him’? bumping into him where?” they apparently hadn’t known one another for very long as she suspected there would have been more ‘office’ stories, or something of the kind, a little sooner otherwise. it didn’t make much sense in the context she’d been given thus far. and so her thoughts centered on the idea of there simply being something that triggered the arrangement. details were everything, after all. “my brother isn’t like me. he isn’t so impulsive that he’d allow a complete stranger to warm his sheets.” let alone their home. given how simon had worded it before, passing bodies in a crowd wasn’t at all what the pair could be considered.

julian was feeling slightly better after having something to eat, but still felt the discomfort rolling off his body as he had to navigate through his daily routine with a handicap. flashes of the event still felt like phantom bruises on his skin, in tandem with the markings on his features that were fading. “needlessly violent? i think it was ghandi who once said that if you don’t think you’re about to die and ascend into nirvana during sex, are you actually fucking at all?” he smirked as he let his feet dangle and his eyes wandered over to the room where he could still feel han pretty much drooling in his lip, and the image of it brought a smile to his face. it seemed everybody in this home was tactless, words slipping by without inhibition, no invisible barriers to halt any misunderstanding that might ensue.

“literally was walking out of the hospital when big guy ran into me and made me fall to the floor.” he shrugged. “after that we talked, made out a bit, he said he’d be my knight in shining armor, we kissed a bit more, and now i guess we’re dating.” julian laughed as he looked over to his boyfriend’s sister. “wasn’t planning on this happening. impulsive enough to kiss me in his office and then tell me to move in with him after meeting me only three times, but hey who’s counting.” he smirked, knowing very well how that sounded. “sometimes people do stupid things, like promise young gay boys that they’ll protect them and stuff. sometimes the gay boy can’t help but believe this so called knight in shining armor and wonder if maybe, just maybe...that dick will feel real good every night.”

#c:mimi

sent ↬ julian

han: it's my job to take care of you. I promised, remember?

han: and that makes one of us, they are growing increasingly more annoying by the day. 😑

han: perhaps a solo gateway for the weekend? We'll avoid my sister and her new "boyfriend", and I'll shut off my phone, then you'll really have me to yourself.

han: Pizza and dessert? Done. Though I'm still unconvinced it's that easy... are you sure there's nothing else?

han: No you won't

han: -because... it won't happen again😏

julian: i remember, but it goes both ways, you can't just take care of me while i'm on the sidelines. we're in this together.

julian: they only want to annoy you and not me, so there's also that

julian: now you're speaking my language, i'm thinking you just wanna get away from them and have me all to yourself instead.

julian: we'll discuss it once you're here, and you can tell me why you cancelled our date

julian: also i've got some news concerning some stuff, but i'll wait till you're here, i've been keeping it a secret

julian: you're lucky i'm head over heels for you

#is it bad that he's already in love #c:han

sent ↬ julian

han: it was poor planning-if I could expel details, I would. Though you're safety is most important and I thank you for putting up with Mimi-and Simon. Youre a saint.

han: --so I realize, severed pinkies arent romantic. Got it. I'll have to brainstorm something else to secure my oath. 😏

han: though, im curious if you could even tell the difference-- minus a pinky that is. I'd suggest we try it tonight once I'm home, but alas! I'm sleeping on the couch 😟

han: by now, you should know there are no limits to this. if I could serve you the world on a silver plater I would, but humanity is worthless, and you deserve so much more.

julian: you can, and you really think i can't take care of myself? i mean you saying that is making me blush now so i guess it's not too bad. i actually really like them so there's that. saint's don't get up to what we do at night.

julian: no they're the exact opposite of romantic. i mean i'm sure you'll think of something to make me change my mind ; )

julian: trust me i know every inch of your body now, i could tell. wow, you really are making it hard for me, but fine come to bed once you're home but bring pizza and dessert.

julian: red velvet pancakes with cream cheese icing

julian: okay you're forgiven, i'm weak, but do it again and i'm permanently making you sleep on the couch.

#c:han

sent ↬ julian

han: julian...

han: don't be that way 🥺🥺🥺

han: this is the last time. I promise. I'll cut off my pinky for you, if that will convince you. I'll string it up so you can wear it around your neck.

han: --if that doesn't work, I'm sure you'll think of an elaborate plan for me to make it up to you 🙂

julian: that's my name

julian: i know you've got important stuff to deal with but i don't want to be put on the back burner so early in our relationship han

julian: you're always my first priority, you and your family.

julian: no need to remove the pinky, it would be odd holding hands with you then especially with a pinky around my neck

julian: plus you need all finger to have those hands around my neck

julian: oh it's already brewing, just make sure you have enough funds for it

#c:han

sent ↬ julian

han: prefacing this by stating that I love spending time with you always.

han: but something's come up

han: we'll have to postpone date night once again....

julian: okay???

julian: once again

julian: sounds to me like you're really dying to be single

julian: guess i'll find something else to do, and you're sleeping on the couch tonight

#c:han

saraxiaos‌:

“When I bought this at the liquor store, the guy at the desk said ‘be careful not to drink it all in one night’,” Sara began. She stood right outside the door and pulled a glass bottle out of her plastic shopping bag. “I think he was just messing around, but joke’s on him because I’ve had a shitty week. So yeah, I’m definitely going to drink it all on my own. Partially because I also just want to see if I can do it.”

“I’d be drinking my worries away if I hadn’t just been taken in by a hot doctor. Sounds weird, but beats having to be taken in by a semi attractive shrink.” he mused. “That bad, huh? Might be wise to take two bottles then, just to make sure you get your buzz.”

#c:sara

timcslipx‌:

the broken arm should have given her reason for pause, the dark marks adorning his flesh as he turned her way surely a sign of further brutality potentially linked to the aforementioned. however, while any of that in particular was interesting enough and did manage to catch her attention, it isn’t enough to halt where her mind is set. julian. julian … a vague sort of recognition falls in line at the name, as if she’d known it recently and perhaps on a more personal level than typically expected. she was never very good with names, though, so this naturally took her awhile. once it clicked, alongside what the boy had offered as way of connection for his being here at all, her features shift accordingly from that of a proper deviant to one of gradual disinterest. as if the pieces really did click together, one might say.

“i’ve never known him to bring home a stray before. let alone a bruised one.” it’s what she offers in place of any of sort of necessary introduction. honestly, she’s not entirely convinced this one was meant to last or even where he came from, but it was such a curious thing to see him there at all. “i guess you guys didn’t make a porno after all then, huh? that’s a little disappointing.” as mimi’s speaking, she’s heading for the living room, grabbing her phone from the table and turning it in his direction again quickly enough with a click of the camera shortly after. “smile, curly.” the quality of the image aside, a short text is sent alongside an attachment presumably to her sibling. “if you’re lying we’ll know soon.” despite the makings of a threat, her expression is still pleasant enough, a flickering of a smile on her lips before it falls aside.

waving off the question of breakfast as she passes back through the room to the refrigerator, kneeling down properly to prevent any further exposure of skin, she grabs a can of beer from the fridge and eventually joins him at the table. popping it open with little care towards the hour of day, she gets to work on unwrapping her toweled hair next. “so why are you here, anyway? i was looking forward to having the place to myself for awhile, but it must be good if he’s dragged you back without telling me.” as if she’s never done the same on countless occasions, against her brother’s wishes. this was han they were talking about, though. it wasn’t normal behavior by any means.

julian hadn’t planned to be seen by anyone in the home, and he dearly wished han would’ve woken up before him so he could explain, but there was a sense of pride in knowing he had tired out the male enough to have him still asleep. The image of the man smiling and sleeping still in his mind as he finished his breakfast, going over to the sink to do the dishes swiftly. Words like stray or thing of that manner were meant to insult him, but he didn’t really take offense to it, he guessed she was sizing him up as he was a stranger in her abode. “Didn’t make a porno? How else did you think I got these bruises?” he smirked going over to sit on the counter as he let his legs swing under him. “smiling,” he didn’t really think much of it as he figured han would appear and she’d be left dumbstruck either way with his reply.

“han wanted me to stay with him, so i am. simple enough. i’ll let him tell you then, because he’s the one who made the decision.” he shrugged. “i wasn’t expecting him to offer anyway, not after just bumping into him, but here i am, in the flesh and eating cereal.” julian smirked, wondering just when han would wake up so he could bury his features in his chest again.

#c:mimi

sshibalx‌:

Julian’s spoken words supplied a mixture of emotions:

he couldn’t deny the exhilaration, even as it awkwardly spread on his lips. the foreign idea of smiling for someone caused a self-consciousness Han had hardly known. his reaction brought on an awkwardness, matched with the nervousness he’d previously felt. his lips adorned a shy smile that his chin tried to cast away as he averted his gaze away from Julian’s. the happiness of hearing those words was the first to flood the blood.

the second set of emotions was fear. there was a hesitance to carry on with the conversation. there was a sense of doubt that Han would never be that person for Julian. –that no matter how hard he’d try, he would never be able to successfully keep him safe. it were as if Julian was the lamb, and Han was the wolf sworn to protect his prey. there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he would betray his trust again. there wasn’t a question of ‘if’, but rather a ‘when’, which caused the smile from before to fade in a frown.

the doubt consumed him, the worry transcended to anger with himself for suggesting that it would ever be in Julian’s best interests with Han by his side. the trembling pout wavered as Julian swayed him with promises. the other’ss eyes on him making him feel even more insecure in this idea, but there was a need to cling to those words, no matter how easy it seemed for Julian to speak them. no matter how much of a red flag it still was. a third meeting, and the back of Han’s mind was a promise of keeping him forever safe? the featherlight touch on his face caused a tingling against the skin as Julian agreed to give himself to Han.

–which by the way seemed like a grand prize in itself. another kiss followed to only bind the two to their words and a chuckle to follow, as Han reached to intertwine fingers with fingers. “Mine.” the eyes flashed up to that prize. the uncertainty of it all fading after such a kiss. Han’s eyes seemingly lost their way further and further as he searched for that spot of green in the other’s irises. which was impossible in the poorly lit alleyway, yet the gaze remained unbroken. “I like the sound of that.” bringing a set of knuckles to his lips, Han relayed another kiss on the top of Julian’s hand. A nod followed, along with a smile he wouldn’t hide anymore. “Let’s go home”

it was awkward and tumultuous, spurious and unknown, and it was all evident in their minds as their faces tried to shield from the expressions trying to break through. the question mark of a man was gallant, stern, perspicacious, reserved, alluring and julian could’ve gone on and one about the things he thought about han, but he still felt unsure and insecure about what the other man might feel for him. the invitation was sudden and yet very welcome with very little other offers in place, and maybe it was because it had been han that offered that he jumped the gun and agreed, maybe his words had swayed him in such a way that he couldn’t really deny? maybe it was just julian’s heart telling him to follow this man because he had the power to make or break him, and now he didn’t know in which ways the scales tipped.

each time they kisses all worries seemed to vanish and they were left in momentary bliss, staring at each under the dim light of a shadowy alley, hopes held as high as the moon, still shaky from the precipitous words exchanged, bound in the meeting of their lips. Mine han had said, filling julian with a new sense of purpose and joy he’d never felt before, he’d never felt part of himself be given to another person and yet he did so very freely with han. gave himself almost fully, bit by bit in each meeting he had left the man with a piece of himself, and now he had been claimed in full.

“i’m sure there are many sounds that you’ll like coming from my mouth,” he purred, his long lashes casting shadows under his eyes as he smiled at the kiss to his hand. julian could describe the moment as something reminiscent of fairy tales, but the damsel in distress was now a prince tormented by his own kin trapped in a tower in which the knight would brave and rescue him from his prison. “home,” the word sounded almost foreign on his lips, but so sweet when it came from han’s lips, and as they walked hand in hand, he could feel his cheeks burning as the smallest of smiles broke through as the smaller boy leaned his head on the other’s shoulder.

walking out of the alley, they were bathed by a sea of lights, neon fluorescence dotting their skin with colors. the greens made julian’s eyes shine brighter and he felt every color suited for the mixture of emotions that he felt stirring inside. “han” he spoke up, noticing how the paps were long gone and they could freely walk and take a car to their destination. “you do know that i’m going to need help showering, right?” he shyly asked, cheeks covered in red as he looked the male in the eye, and he felt very small in comparison to his usual self.

#c:han

timcslipx‌:

closed to: @lunajulians character: julian luna

she hadn’t been home in awhile.

beyond the usual excuses – debauchery, mainly – it wasn’t for much of a particular reason. and save for the occasional message to say she’d still been alive and kicking and the usual annoyance that came with it, seon-mi was also sorely out of the loop when it came to her brother and his dealings these last few days. she only knew he wasn’t meant to be home this morning after she stumbled in far too late the prior evening. or that was the belief based on the day she assumed it to be.

so understandably the last thing mimi expected to find when strolling into the kitchen that day, draped in a towel no less, was some shirtless dude eating her cereal. more so because she swore she hadn’t brought anyone home herself and again, her dear sibling was not supposed to be back for a bit. not that she usually minded half-naked guys in her kitchen it was just an oddity she couldn’t account for in that early hour.

cigarette dangling from her lips, she takes a little longer than should be necessary to assess and form a response, more so because the head of hair accompanying the boy’s form – and yes, it was a conscious thought that he looked a little young even by her standards to be considered worth bringing home in the first place – seemed almost familiar even from behind. she couldn’t quite recall where she may have seen it off-hand. the familiarity and strangeness of the scene aside, the words that eventually roll off her tongue aren’t all too friendly or alarmed. perhaps because he already seemed so comfortable.

“.. who the fuck are you?”

strange new walls now surrounded him as morning light seeped through unfettered blinds, and his eyes scanned the area know that this would be where he’d spend his days now. a little smile took over his features as he remembered the daunting task of getting out of bed, the only thing that made it hard was detaching himself from han. a strong arm draped over julian’s frame as they slept, and once he woke he found it hard to move, because he didn’t want to, and if it was up to him he could just lie there in han’s arm, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

after a quick shower, he managed to get out and find something quick in the kitchen, he served himself a dry bowl of cereal not really liking the taste of milk. one arm trapped in a sling, he struggled to eat slightly as his dominant hand was kept restrained. his heart stirred with something as he thought of how he’d respond to seeing han every morning now, and that little smile on his lips grew even bigger.

as another person walked in, he half expected to be met with his, he paused not really sure what to call han...Friend? Boyfriend? Lover? he truly was at a loss but he figured there was no real need to label anything about them. hearing the next set of words, he turned to be met with a female, and he immediately registered that this was one of two people, han’s best friend or his sister, and frankly she looked too pretty to be named simon. “julian,” he simply replied as he took another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “nice to meet you. i’m han’s...um, guy he’s been making out with is the closest thing i can come up with right now.”

green and purple spots adorned his features, mainly his eye and jaw, but those would soon heal on their own. “want some breakfast?”

#c:mimi

sshibalx‌:

it was an irritating thought– that Julian would use a kiss to divert a question. irritating but not at all unwelcome. in fact, it was in the moment when the lips touched that Han knew that all of his questioning of the other was for nothing, as he missed the way it felt. there was a momentary pining of the days past that whipped his head in small wistful whiplash– a momentary change of heart. it caused him to forget the situation at hand for but a moment. it allowed for a temporary escape– an alternate universe where he hadn’t had let Julian go so freely.

the eyes were still shut as his name was mumbled– only to open once the explanation was issued. there was a soothing nature, however, lingering on a pair of lips. in any other instance, Han would have immediately lashed out, in if not aggression, pure rage for the source of Julian’s injuries. had his blood not buzzed with elation in the idea of fixing things with his beaten pretty boy, his blood would have boiled with pure unadulterated rage. the kiss, for which Julian must have been a secret genius for calmed those notions of murder. was it a secret talent? being able to diffuse Han at any given moment?

and there wasn’t much thought to the idea of Julian so much as kissing Han and being on his way. and no matter how unfair that seemed since Han did it first, no one would be walking away– neither of them was allowed to do that anymore. there was a stern head shake to follow and a thought process already forming to continue to protect the boy with hazel eyes. the challenge Han issued seemed to stir an annoyance he tried to mask with his softened features “And go where exactly?”

because he wasn’t pleased with Julian’s answer, but that was the smallest concern to buzz in the mind. it was a rhetorical question– one that Han didn’t supply enough silence for an answer. “You don’t want to see your father again? I can make that happen.” there was a short and simple rise to his shoulders. it was a quick shrug of nonchalance, as he looked across the way at the dark figures with flashing bulbs. “You don’t need to find a place to stay. Say the word. You don’t need to worry about anything anymore. If you trust me–” a lump in his throat caused a hard knot to swallow as his own nerves for that answer stirred in the pit of his stomach “– I know, it’s a lot to ask. I know I have yet to prove myself worthy of even a second glance for what I’ve done. I know I’ve told you explicitly not to do so. Knowing who I am, I can only give you a fair warning, but if you trust me, I can promise you safety.”

maybe it was out of impulse or the sheer need to stop the incessant flurry of things he wanted to tell han, but the moment their lips met he felt the need to cling to that. to the feeling of belonging to someone and how good it felt when your body yelled at you to continue, to be able to give himself some relief with something as simple as a kiss. han was his and julian felt that in the moment they both hesitated in letting go, in letting just this be a passing meeting, a fleeting kiss. they were stuck on each other and this time peeling off would be next to impossible. a weird mix of emotions coursed through him, hearing the sounds of the city around him as the roar of blood pounded at his ear, and his heart wanted to burst through his rib cage.

julian could see the shift within han, and how the truth affected him. part of the boy felt somewhat relieved that he cared, cared enough to stay here and try to make something of this tremulous situation. although the boy did not know of the power he had over the man, he would soon come to learn how just how much he needed to stay by his side. how everything felt better with han around, and how no matter what anyone else thought, this moment would be the one that would decide his fate. his lips still ached with the tender feel of the man’s lips, almost pained to be parted from the man’s as he looked at him, turning to walk away before he heard the next question. breath hitched momentarily as he looked at the opening in the alley, like the mouth of a beast, waiting to swallow him whole in a field of lights and smudge.

“han,” he finally said as he turned to face him, eyes scanning the male’s features and julian found it impossible to look away. “i don’t know,” the boy answered looking the man straight in the eye as he heard him go on. the way han spoke and what he was propositioning made julian’s eyes widen with surprise, a smile struggling to break through as he closed the distance between them. “you’re right, I don’t want to see him again.” he struggled to find words to say to the man, so instead he let his hand caress han’s features, softly brushing fingertips against skin as he pressed himself closer. “that’s the thing, i do trust you,” he mumbled looking into the man’s eyes and not finding a reason to decline. “i can only promise you to give you one thing if we do this me.”

“it would be silly to say that i’m falling for you, you who turned me away already once, but the truth of the matter is i already fell for you way back in that gallery. you had me hook from the very first moment your fingertips touched my chin so delicately. i’m scared to do this, but i really want to, i want you.” with a single breath he managed that, before closing the distance once more, a final time to let their lips meet, and release them from the agony of being torn apart. with his free hand he pulled him towards the wall, finding himself against the cold hardness of brick as he looked into han’s eyes and smiled. he kissed until he couldn’t breathe, he kissed him until his lips would feel like they were giving out, and yet his desire for the man would never succumb. “take me home, han.” he mused, pressing his forehead against the man’s chest, as a few stray tears escaped their prison. “yours,” he mumbled.

#c:han

sshibalx‌:

the lack of interest was now replaced with full on concern. is it too much to imagine that seeing the person who’d invaded and, using his own words, poisoned the mind so easily– seeing them so broken in every sense wouldn’t stir the repressed emotions he tried to hide from? the footsteps were cautious as Han continued to close the distance between the two of them. there was a wave of his on befuddlement in front of Han’s eyes as he took in the expressions of the other. his speech still backlogged from asking Julian to stay– don’t go. cluttered words were caught in the spokes of the mind as he stared back at the other with a fluster of worry on his face. the darkness in his eyes from before softened, the twisting of his expressions causing quivering frown.

what was he sorry for? for shoving him to the ground, for not helping him up immediately, for acting so rudely, and for casting him away to begin with. there was a lot for him to be sorry, and the sooner Julian realized this, the easier the conversation could go. however, there were words spoken about paps, which flipped the switch in the brain to pull Julian away from any views of the streets. it was a protection that shouldn’t have been so effortless. it was an action– the grabbing of Julian’s hand and leading him to the side of the building on the street for privacy– if there was a chance for that. it was an action he had no right in trying as it was still an underlying fact of it all. he contributed to this pain– if not caused most of it.

there were questions and statements Julian issued that matched the grander scheme of things for which Han was trying his hardest to ignore. yes, he’d let him go, but why was Julian under the impression that turning and walking away would be easy? especially at the sight of those watery hazel eyes.

what was even harder to ignore was his own free hand rising to inspect the black eye on the face. knuckles lingering in the air as the anger for the sight clenched his own fist as he tried his hardest to not touch. he had to stop doing this, but curiosity did get the better of him

“Who did this to you?”

everything would’ve been so much easier had it not been han who he bumped into. julian would be on his miserable way somewhere else to spend the night, no questions asked, no heart ache, only the aching of his body. now everything hurt worse the more he looked at the man, the way he was going after him as if julian ever mattered to him. it was so stupid, they had only met twice and here they were struggling to even find words with each other, but maybe that was just how intensely they felt for each other. julian couldn’t help but glance at han and find himself falling all over again, his gorgeous features, those pouty lips, everything was beautiful to him. the way han just seemed to soften around him, the stern and frigid air dissipating quickly.

once he felt han grab him and pull him from the lights and flashing cameras, julian felt himself blush at the man. julian felt the way he was being protective, caring even but he couldn’t let down his guard for something as simple as this. no matter how much he truly just wanted to bury his worries in the male’s chest. before he could even stop himself he found himself leaning in, ignoring the male’s question as he brought their lips together. “han,” he mumbled as he pulled away.

“the tabloids will say i got jumped on my way to the house, but all of this happened inside my own home. the stories that will be selling is that it was mutants to who did this to me as a message to my father, but that’s not what happened. you asked me who did this, and the answer to that is simple, my father.” julian answered, looking away for a few moments. “which is why i’ve got to find a place to stay because i can’t go back there, i don’t want to see him again. so if you’re pleased with that answer, i have to be on my way, han.”

#c:han #abuse tw

sshibalx‌:

the surprise was still affecting the number of words that his brain was limiting in his broken whispered speech. because there were questions that were flooding the mind. there was an obvious concern on his face as he continued to scan the boy’s injuries. there was a conscience telling him to help the boy up. there were feelings of failure as he watched Julian pick up the pieces of what was already falling apart– the damage of a previous encounter. there was regret for always reacting so violently. there was sympathy for the other, and a pain that he felt for him, as Han continued to stumble backward. the coward in him pulled towards a different exit. it was a fear of what he’d only worsened for which he didn’t want to come to terms with.

there were words that were slapping him in the face. Of course, he remembered the name. it was hard to forget. it was a name that bled into his brain. it was a name not spoken but continuously thought of ever since he pulled away from an embrace.

and the moment Julian pushed past him, the anger for which he felt before Julian fell to the ground faded. he stood for a silent rigid second before clenching his jaw– but Julian was already at the door, so it seemed. he squeezed his eyes shut after a deep calming breath, the brain– the big fucked up organ which controlled him was already telling Han to forget it all and continue on his way– to leave, go home, kill a person and forget about it.

however, the heart was pulling the legs in Julian’s directions once Han spun around and headed for the direction. the pace wasn’t at all hard to keep up with. he called after him, the tone in his voice not at all recognizable- he never once apologized– he never once begged for forgiveness. “I’m sorry.” –nor were the words familiar, as they were hardly ever spoken out loud. “Wait–”

it pained him to walk away and turn his gaze from han when his mind was screaming at him to bury his features in the man’s chest. julian craved his embrace and to be wrapped up in his arms and feel safe. yet he couldn’t give himself any of that, not when the man never called, not when he pushed julian away and evidently showed a lack of interest in the boy. julian caught on pretty quickly when no sign of han came and he was simply left another boy whose wishful thinking proved him wrong. he just wished it wasn’t so hard to walk away, his feet felt as heavy as cement, every step taken had been a battle. being pushed to the ground by the man and a hand not being offered were enough to drive any foolish thoughts from his mind, and they were enough to keep him going as he veered for the exit.

he wished his eyes didn’t water, he wished he didn’t feel as if his body was throbbing from the impact on the ground, he wished things didn’t feel hazy the closer he got to the exit. then he heard it, the one thing that kept his feet from moving and made his heart stupidly race. no matter how hard he tried to fight it, han made him weak.

“Sorry for what?” he said finally turning as he faced him. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, and it was clear that you want nothing to do with me. Besides, can’t really be here long, I’ve got to find a place to stay for the nights since my home is occupied, probably with tons of paps, waiting to take pictures of me.”

“Han, why are you stopping me now when you already let me go once?” his voice was low and weak as he looked up at him, hazel eyes almost watery as he turned his gaze. “You don’t have to do this you know, you can walk away again and pretend this never happened.”

#c:han

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