ctrl+z @lunarzei - Tumblr Blog

if bad things u didn't think would happen can happen then good things that u didn't think would happen can happen too

04:12 30/03/2026 replacing my masterpost with this (?)

#feels stupid #this is like when i said i was glad the day had an end at uni and i got weird looks

i just have this persistent feeling of “i’m not doing enough” combined with “i don’t have the energy to do anything” and it just really fucking sucks

threedollarsdotcom

tv shows are bad. parents dont love their kids in real life

i want to break something lol

17:28 08/06/2026

stuckinapril

“Do it scared” “do it alone” are all great tips, but my biggest takeaway from therapy is do it messy. This is especially true if you’re getting out of a burnout, which I experience often. Literally just do it messy. You don’t need to pick the perfect trail to walk, the perfect playlist to listen to, whatever the fuck it is. You don’t need to have a meticulous to do list and wake up at the exact time you planned and drink the exact amount of water you planned to drink. Like the biggest thing for people like me to remember is sometimes it’s okay to do it messy. Put on a random yt workout and just get it done in sweats. Do 5 minutes of a daunting task and go from there. Sometimes just getting up is a win during intense burnouts or depressive funks. Literally just do it messy.

#torture for my anxiety but effective #like effective as in i do the thing and have the anxiety attack after #but the thing is done so less anxiety technically in some ways #idk u get it but this works it's true

queer-as-city-folk

Insomnia implies the existence of an outsomnia where you have a hard time staying awake

idk what it is abt my failures that make me genuinely feel like i'm the only person who's ever failed at anything

04:42 05/06/2026

#who else is up feeling irredeemable #dont answer that #you're not #and neither am i #my brain is just fucking with me bc im conscious rn and i shouldn't be #im ngl i wish i could feel comforted rn but i dont want to talk to anyone #i have so much to do #im gonna wake up in like an hour or so #so i'll try to sleep #i'll wake up at 7 instead of 6 this time so i can use my pokemon sleep app and so hopefully i can rest #and this doesn't happen as often #i hate everything abt the way i am :)#so much of what i have to do tmw has nothing to do with my actual problems but it's all necessary so i have to just #idk go with it #i need to make a system of some sort #not relying on someone to make me study or do stuff bc that doesnt work with me i just shut down #i need to just figure out a system for myself

fairycosmos

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

#this is why my playlist is insanely random #like it's embarassing i have a collaborative playlist with my best friend and i used to get full body humiliation anxiety response to the #shit that'd play from my side #but it's not that deep

postergirlfornothing

thesis defense tomorrow 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

postergirlfornothing

it went really really well ☺️☺️☺️☺️

#amazing :') so proud <33 #inspiration <3

csny

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person

#my genuine thoughts sometimes

ngl i feel like the worst influence

i found the superstar ateez game yesterday so i was playing it then i showed it to my sister after she got home from school (v irresponsible bc she has exams rn) she got rly excited for me and we took turns playing each other's games (she has the jyp game)

i looked for other similar games for other groups (like enhyphen we rly wanted to find one for them) i found one for sm groups so i downloaded it to check it out - it does have kai and exo but not many other groups we like (it has the throwback song i showed her that i liked back in highschool - mr. simple by super junior) but smth abt the app itself sucks it lags and the card drops are pretty bad, the layout is harder to navigate than the others unfortunately

so i'm gonna get rid of it after i let her play a turn of rover bc she wanted to - and after i take screenshots of the rly old exo wallpaper we got and the kai card we chose

but why i feel like a bad influence was genuinely we did a study session for her math exam and it was basically impossible to focus - i couldn't even get her to write her notes for her other exam bc it was too late

if we wake up early then we can attempt the math questions for her exam with changed numbers - i'm thinking i prepare her a sample exam on paper in the morning so she can solve that as practice and she can write her notes for her other exam to memorize before it

we're gonna go to the cafe near her school to get a drink and cookie maybe so we're going like a half hour earlier than our usual time

and i was planning on using that to go to the other cafe to study but i thought that idea sucked idk esp bc i couldn't prepare myself study resources today - so i'm probably just gonna go drop her off then head home

i'll stay up to watch more of atypical maybe so i can finish my fruit bowl and remember to brush my teeth - also so i can set up the next day somehow

i've been so stressed - i forgot to respond to my friends' gc earlier in the day too bc of how idk unstable things are - makes me feel worse for this gaming stuff

02:45 05/06/2026

#my sister was v happy i was happy abt the game #she was also sad i'm not going to the concert #tickets are too expensive and concerts are loud as hell and there are people there (obviously)#i would push myself but lol should push myself to graduate then maybe i can attend a concert or get on with my life and enjoy their music #i can't even listen to a full album properly bc of how stressed i usually am like that's smth i should fix first #also bc the level of focus was fucked last time at least we were getting through the questions idk what was going on today #i fucked that up i think i should've done that better - but the sheet i'm making in the morning will help more #i wanna make her a question sheet for her other exam too i might do both #if i wake up at 6 i can

inzika

sometimes when i go for a walk i look at the sky and realize that i really love earth & nature like i just get this really nice feel. i love it

highlight of my day

my sister wants me to study with her for her math exam bc last time we did that she scored well :) she texted me after school abt her exams then abt the math exam tmw <3

she was upset abt it last time so i'm rly happy abt this it's so unexpected that she'd ask me to study that way again (we use my board and both resolve the question after going over it and understanding the solution)

19:32 04/06/2026 also say hi to mingi i started playing superstar ateez late last night and it's been giving me dopamine to go through their discography on there ans collecting these cards ngl

#recording good moments #also i got my package today it had my new brush in it - bc my other one broke #i showered and brushed my hair and the curls aren't as messy as usual im elated #i also did my skincare:)#she opens her data just to text me it's so cute #sidenote i need to cut my split ends sometime #i was gonna ask my mom to do it but i'll just watch a video or smth and do it one day #bc i am sick of seeing them ngl i can actually see them when i braid my hair and it dries

lunarzei

i'm glad i discover new things abt myself everyday (sarcasm) i'm up rn it's 3 am i didn't have any coffee today - i told myself i shouldn't have any bc despite me needing the warm drink and little bit of potential dopamine bc it was a shitty day and I was drained and depressed i didn't want to ruin my sleep quality even more - guess what happened my sleep was disturbed regardless

03:03 04/06/2026

lunarzei

can't believe i'm keeping hunter up too smh i'll try to sleep soon

03:06 04/06/2026

#i did get this notif at like 11 i have been ignoring all my notifs #or like most of them for a while now #bc overwhelmed drained and tired idk what to tell u #pokemon sleep was supposed to help with this bit #but the falling asleep bit is harder today ig #this is funny i forgot to use the app before i slept idek how i fell asleep but i did

i'm glad i discover new things abt myself everyday (sarcasm) i'm up rn it's 3 am i didn't have any coffee today - i told myself i shouldn't have any bc despite me needing the warm drink and little bit of potential dopamine bc it was a shitty day and I was drained and depressed i didn't want to ruin my sleep quality even more - guess what happened my sleep was disturbed regardless

03:03 04/06/2026

#i love my life #i feel so ungrateful lol im gonna move on from this stupid feeling #tmw might be better #or it might not #either way we move

stjohnstarling

Trying out a new hobby called playing with fire. And it’s completely safe

#living my dream

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