La(r)ceny Jones

Anyone who doesn’t live with a boiler plate of simmering fury at their core cannot be trusted. Anyone who cannot understand that joy and the fury of righteous anger are not mutually exclusive cannot be trusted. A half glass is both empty and full.

[lunulater]

For all the gifts you could have given

(And I know you are a giver)

Why’d the grandest of them all

Have to be the pain you lived in

(For sins of your favorite sinner)

Left at fault, for all her faults

For crimes never committed

But you just can’t admit it

Left punished for another

Your favorite former lover

An ever present specter

But you will never get her

And I will never get it

But I feel it when you give it

She has cut you like no other

You won’t love me like you loved her

Disrespect her and reject her

Exorcize then resurrect her.

Your sinner and her sins

Who you keep inviting in

Former lover favorite specter

She will never give you better

The one you always wanted

Will only leave you taunted

The sinner with her sins

No matter how you blessed her

For all that has possessed her

She’ll break you then she’ll flaunt it

She will always leave you haunted

She’s your sinner, you’re her sin

Who you’ve welcomed in again

Again again again

Into the vaults of your whole soul

To you her faults are never old

But now who’s to pay the debt

For these sins you won’t forget

Who has maxed out all your credit

But you’ve never known your limits

So I guess that I do get it

It’s just balancing of books

After everything she took

The debt must be transferred

Unpaid pain to be deferred

But who’s to take the hurt

When the sinner’s off the hook

Who’s left balancing the books

For pain inflicted and collected

Who’s left signing all these checks

Checks that will not be paid back

By the sinner for her sins

That you keep inviting in

And you, yes you will let her

Former lover Favorite specter

The one who’ll never want you

But you will let her haunt you

She’s your sinner, she’s your sin

Who you always welcome in

Always, and again

unaccountable accounting

Who is paying for it all

For the cheater and deceiver

Who will count the countless sins

insurmountable and counting

I was praying to be all

For you, yet you just want to grieve her

You will always let her win

You will always choose to grieve her

You will always choose to fall

Even as I refuse to be her

I can never be your all

Not your sinner nor her sins

That you keep inviting in

A former lover, favorite specter

Should have left her where you met her

it never mattered what I wanted

I am battered. I am haunted.

By your sinner and your sins

You have let her win again

Too late to make this end less bitter

No last chance to make this better

You once said I was all you wanted

Convincing lies can still be wanton

From a sinner welcomed in

And now your sinner is your sin

You won’t be welcomed in again

The one that I once truly wanted

But I won’t throw down the gauntlet

You were my sinner not my sin

For at the end of everything

All she asks you freely give it

Racking debts you made me live it

Chosen pain that you have lived in

grandest gift you’ve ever given

Now at the end of everything

Not all debts can be forgiven

Nor forgotten it’s forbidden

At the end of everything

We were ghosts before beginning

At the end of everything

Was I ever anything?

To you

[lunulater]

You’re a serial predator and repeat rapist. Changing your tumblr won’t change that.

[lunulater]

I wonder

Maybe

If you drink yourself into an early grave

The world might be a safer place.

[chronicpaingirlie]

i feel like for abled people who don’t have to spend a huge portion of their waking life in bed, it’s really easy for them to imagine it as some sort of constant relaxing vacation from ‘real life’ or from effort and feeling and working or whatever else

when in reality it’s like. im so restless. im so tired of being in bed. it isn’t comfortable. i Hurt. im hurting all the time and if i could not be in bed without being in huge amounts of pain, i would!! i miss being able to do things!! laying in bed helps the most, but a lot of the time it feels like a trap, not a comfort. a lot of the time it hurts too much to be doing anything else

i miss when laying down was a choice i could make for relaxation, when napping was an indulgence and not a necessity, when i could spend time and energy being upright and it didn’t even feel like effort !!! i don’t want to do this. this isn’t something relaxing or fun the majority of the time. it’s painful & frustrating. i wish people understood that better :(

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

I know the Disability Day of Mourning traditionally commemorates disabled people murdered by their parents and/or caregivers, but I wanted to take a moment to also commemorate the disabled lives lost during the genocides taking place in Palestine, the DRC, Sudan, and across the globe (including in the US). There are many ways for a system to perpetuate ableist violence and we must struggle as a community against all of them.

May the disabled souls taken from us rest in peace, every single one, and may the members of the disabled community currently fighting for their lives and the lives of their loved ones receive the support and safety they deserve.

If you have a bit to spare, please consider donating to Crips for eSims for Gaza and supporting their vital work.

[lunulater]

I hope you know

I know

I deserved so much better

Than you

[lunulater]

All I ever wanted to do was believe you.

[meat-wentz]

okay okay so like i don’t wanna kill the party but i just saw an instagram shop selling a shirt that says now i am become death the destroyer of worlds in barbie font and i just sigh i just like i get the novelty of barbie and oppenheimer weekend but i have got to stress the bomb changed the entire world forever and wiped out over a quarter of a million people i think maybe we gotta kinda take a step back here when we start selling it as if it’s fun hot girl summer fodder

[meat-wentz]

before you start babygirling oppenheimer just know that from what i’ve heard the film does not address downwinders, does not have a singular japanese person in it, and exploited our museums by claiming photos on loan for personal use (meaning they did not have to pay a penny to use them in the film despite being a multi-million dollar production).

[2spirit-1spoon]

Honestly the vibes of anyone going to see an atomic bomb movie when natives like the Diné still have to boil radiation out of water in New Mexico are absolutely garbage barrel rank vibes. They tested the bombs on Diné land, near native water sources, where children played and livestock drank from. They still are reporting cancers and have been for generations now.

I fail to see how this isn't another movie glorifying the USA while silencing BIPOC. New Mexico is the most radioactive state. And it's not a coincidence that natives were the ones affected. Just like it's not a coincidence they were written out of this narrative. Just like how it's not a coincidence natives suffer more health conditions with worse healthcare.

So to make light of the very real hurt and genocide and murder with hot pink quotes is so tone deaf and ignorant. (Also barbie would fucking never do that.)

The Navajo Suffered From Nuclear Testing. 'Oppenheimer' Doesn't Tell Our Story

We must recognize the continued suffering and sacrifice of the Navajo that built the atomic era, writes Buu V. Nygren.

[lunulater]

I never deserved you

Or all the shit you put me through

You never deserved me

Or all the shit I did for you to be happy

[junflower123]

[fvlter]

I was gunna put this in the tags but it’s a lot. When i first started going through the process of getting a diagnosis, i was labelled with ODD. I immediately took issue with this, it seemed like an unfair diagnosis based entirely on the session the psychiatrist had with my parents (which mostly consisted of “my child is being really difficult on purpose”), and Hoo Boy when i tell you ODD immediately strips you of your ability to call out anyone on anything, that would be an understatement. I couldn’t even disagree or bring up my concerns about the validity of MY OWN DIAGNOSIS without it being labelled as oppositional defiance. Whenever i displayed any negative emotion the “treatments” did so much more harm than good. When you label someone as ‘defiant’ (ugh), when that word is put on their medical record, that person is never allowed to complain about anything again. Knowing that POC are disproportionately affected with this diagnosis makes me feel sick, i can only imagine what’s being swept under the rug as someone just being “defiant to authority”, not even just in the medical field but as justification for police brutality and mass incarceration. When i say medical racism kills people, this is what i mean.

[noodle-the-queen]

this is so fucking important. reblog.

[lunulater]

I want you to know that I finally believe you are the piece of shit you said you were.

[lunulater]

I don’t like this story

It has too many plot holes.

[lunulater]

It hurts to long for a person

you can’t be certain ever actually existed.

[lunulater]

[lunulater]

Fact or figment?

Faith in fiction.

Strung together by your diction

I clung to every syllable

Believed while I was still able

Under guise and being gullible

You have sowed while I have reaped.

The poisoned fruits of your seed

Birthed and blossomed from deceit

Nearly drowned in your shallow

I won’t watch you drink and wallow

The truth’s a bitter pill to swallow

But you’re a liar and a thief

Trapped inside your false beliefs

You have robbed us both of peace

Drowning out reality

Tried to sink us both in grief

While you drink yourself to sleep

Close your eyes to the shame

Of the harm in your wake

Of cheap shots that you take

Go ahead frame your truth

Sacrifice my trust in you

In the end what’s lost is

You.

Fact or figment?

lost faith in fiction.

Broken down by your addiction.

Fact or figment?

No faith in fiction

Fed and fueled by narcissism.

[lunulater]

What a fucking disappointment.

[lunulater]

Abusers will build you up just so they have a bigger crash to enjoy when they drag you down.