Here again! Now you can read next new part of nevermind's. This time it's little bit longer. And if I haven't said it earlier my first language isn't English so don't judge if something is incorrect. but here you go. Enjoy :)
I leaned myself to wall made of bricks. The flaming lights of the lampposts sparked the dark road. Humans underworld was cruel so I have to be more brutal. I was only 17 and my childhood was ruined, so they could get my mad side out of me. Sometimes I wonder, how I just want a new normal life and curl up on my new mom's lap. How I could just listen her to sing me to sleep, just like a little baby. I changed my position against the rough brick wall. I wore only black; black sweatpants and a hoodie.
Lonely steps carried from the dark road. I step back under the alley's shadows. I put my faceless mask on and waited. I picked up my old leather jacket and covered my hair with hood. I listened the steps one by one getting closer. Rhythm of them was even. I breath deeply. Then when they little bit closer I walked out of the shadows. I looked the comer through the white faceless mask I had. A tall figure stopped about five meters from me.
- Oh, you left so far away, I said to him with cracking voice.
The man didn't answered me but stared coming closer.
- But I didn't said I allow you to come any closer, I continued.
Now the man was only one meter away. Holy name of my mom, he was tall. Those ones were always more difficult to handle. I tried to look at him more closely but the darkness covered most of his face. I could only see the outlines but I could say this wasn't the person I waited.
-Long time no see girl, he said happily and I could hear smile in his voice. No one knows I am a girl.
-Wait... who are you again? I thought this meeting was about business, not getting my hands bloody.
-Oh trust me beautiful, this is business. Or at least some could call it that.
Shiver went down my spine. I was ready to kill even thought this was the first time my instincts yelled me "RUN". The man looked me all the way down. I could feel his eyes on me and it burned my skin. Something about this felt familiar.
- Last time we met we had quite fun actually. I could say you can dance really well. Your moves are really smooth and elegant shall I say, man said calculated.
He step aside as if viewing me like a dog.
- Sadly I have to admit that I do not dance usually, I answered to him.
A moment went when he thought and circled me. The silence was painful and heavy. It was like a wet coat on you shoulders.
- You don't remember me? I am mortified, eventually he said dramatically. - you should be punished for that!
- Just stop. If you don't have anything to say, I would gladly go. I really have something to do.
- Not so fast young lady. I come here to take you with me, his voice was heavy and it told me that now would me great time to run but I didn't move a finger.
- Sorry I am not in the mood, I told him as if. My whole body was tensed. I watched how he stopped and looked at me with that burning watch. I watched how he took steps closer again. Now he was in my personal space. I seized to knife on my back and as slowly as I could I pull it closer to that man. He looked me down and grabbed my jaw.
- That wasn't a question, my love, he said.
Quickly I pulled the knife to his rib. He stared to laugh and pulled me away and grabbed his knives.
- Did you really thought I would be that stupid again? Why you do this? I am smarter than you. But isn't it funny that this time you could've actually killed me but still you missed it.
I just jumped forward to him but his avoided it. I swiped my knife to him but it didn't scratch him. Then I realized it. I remembered who he was.
- Why aren't you dead, tunnel boy? I asked.
- How sweet honey, I got a nickname? His voice was so filled with sweetness that it was almost sticky.
- I killed you.
- As well as that you did a moment ago.
- How did you find my brother? I asked because I hadn’t found him.
- That's a funny story?
- Who even are you?
- Good question, I guess.
I tried to play time and watch read his weaknesses but he was as calm as a mirror.
- Why are you here? I asked him.
- Like I said, I came to take you with me. And take that stupid mask off, I want to see you face again.
- Show me yours and I will show you mine, I answered confidently. he laughed me again and then I hit him. Straight to his dark face I could not see with all my strength. His low laugh stopped there.
- I love you, you know, he loudly whispered.
I kicked him as hard as I could. But again, he just escaped it.
- I don’t wanna fight you. I mean last time I beat you up so just give up and come with me.
I didn’t want to stay there but I wanted to fight him. But this got me kind of frustrated. He just escapes my hits and kicks and laugh at me working with a knife. Suddenly I wanted to laugh to irony of this moment. This wasn’t even a fight or war here. Even though I held the knife.
- We both know that’s not happening, so I just keep going.
Now the man sloped his head to right a bit. I put down weapon and hide it back where I took it from. I grabbed the leather jacket again from the ground. And smiled.
- Farewell and die soon, tunnel boy! I said and started running as fast as I could. I didn’t take my mask off I just focused to going forward. I turned my skin invisible and disappeared from the humans. Madness of my soul came to company me and I smiled my animalistic grin.
“He is smoke and skin, air and bone, and when his mouth presses against hers, the first thing she tastes in the turning of the seasons, the moment when dusk gives way to night.”
Should I let go? Or should I hold on? I didn’t know, because I was lost. If I hold on I would drown in the world, but everything I want or need would be right there when I need something. If I let go I would fall, but I would get freedom. I didn’t knew which one would be worse opinion. Did I wanted change thing or did I want to keep everything I already had? If I let myself fall down I would leave others behind and if I hold on they will lift me up. This might be my only change. It was yes or not. Up or down. My hands were tired. I was hanning here a lon time already. I had to make a decision, but I wanted both. I wanted to feel my bones crush and that awful feeling of flying. Same time I wanted to snuggle inside a big warm blanket right next to a fireplace watching gold flames play.
- Where are you? Voice of a call was wafted on the ground. No, finally. I thought. They found me. Now I could let go and fall all the way to the ground or wait them to lift me up from this edge. I looked up to sunny sky. There wasn’t any clouds. Now do the decision. I told myself. I took deep breath and closed my eyes strictly. I calmed my nerves as much as I could. If I wanted to let go I had to do it now, before they see me. I took a breath again. They we be okay without me, I told myself and let go of the railing I was holdong on. But right before I started to fall, hands took a firm grip on me. Grip was tight and the boy had saved me. Other boy came next to him and grabbed my other hand. They lifted me up. Away from the edge, away from the railing.
Hi! It's time for new part of Never Mind. I can say that this part is one I like myself. It's not like amazing and so deep and emotional part but I like it.
Why I did it? Why I went to him? Why I crabbed him? Why I crabbed his neck and not hand? Why I made him die? Why I had to choke him? Why I did it? Why I started becoming a monster that had spoken even before I was born? Just why did I born if it never meant to happen? Those question ran circle inside my head and they were making me crazy. Why went there? I need him and not only now but I will need him in future. I was just looking him and watch him try to breath. He tried to get my hands off around his neck. But I didn't let go. I made him die. No one haven't told me to do it but I still did it. I choked him and listened him say 'I love you'. Goosebumbs ran on my skin and left cold touch on it. I didn't cry and I left like I was wachting myself outside my body. But I felt my cold andhollow body around me. The boy was the most dearest person to me. So why just the freaking why I did let him die by my hands?
-Hey, what are doig here?
A hand placed on my shoulder. I did not want anyone to come and bother me now. I stood up and hit him with all my strenght and the person fell onto floor.
-None if your buisness asshole
I grabbed the man's feet and dragged him to others. I have had other people knock out before him. I did not want anyone to bother me. Then I just went to desk and found paper and pencil. I wrote "I don't know, maybe I was afraid and maybe I still am scared. You won't wait me with happy smile on your face anymore, not after you find out that your son died by my hands."
Then I just looked the note little time. I left the note and took that beautiful pencil with me. Then I heard some weak voice from pile of unmissed people. I opened a window other side of the room. I put my hood cover my head, white mask to cover my face and still once I scanned the room, then I escaped through the narrow window to lightless night.
Here again just writing something but what can I do. This is just calming my nerves. This time it’s just short one.
- Wait!
- Hey girl wait for me.
I was packing my thing in my back. The girl has went to hall already but I still belive she heard me. I put a white mask and my quickly my lunch in my back. I grabbed back with me and ran after the girl. I saw couple person still wearing shoes but no one was my friend. Of course I didn’t want to be burden for my friends but someone could’ve wait for me. Everyone doesn’t have to wait me, one is enough. I took my shoes and walked to doors. My friend from the locker room turned back from a hallway and saw me but she just passed me and walked back to others. No one cared about me. I was always out of frined groups. Right before doors there was a window. When I watched throught it I saw people outside. There was all my friends. Some of them went to their cars and others just went down the street. I saw them laugh and say goodbyes. I was greatful for that I had friends but I never felt truely happy or welcome around them. I wore my shoes and went outside. I started to walk away from little worn building to home. After couple of street I saw the girl I’ve asked to wait be and I considered to go to her but then I saw that she had someone else to be with.
I have written something a long time and I call them Neverminds. It has almost 60 parts and if it doesn’t bother anyone I would like to share them or at least bests of them. Everyone isn’t so long and they might not be in right order as I post them but main thing is that it’s a same story and main charachter is same girl all the time. But now here you have another part. I hope someone likes it :)
I stood there with my hands bounded. Rope hurt my wrists. A man has tight them too hard. I had thrown in middle of those selfish monster. Even their look stick my skin when they estimated me. It felt like tiny little sticks tried to cover under my skin. There was two ghost standing right behind me or next to me, I wasn’t sure because I didn’t see them. And now agin I wondered how my mom and dad brought me here. They must have know that this is the place where devil was scared to come.
- You didn’t mind to kill one of us so we don’t mind to kill her.
I heard over monster’s scratchy voice how they brought in a tiny girl who had dirty black hair and chains holding her legs together. They left her between me and those five devils front of me. They used the girl as a shield. I couldn’t walk up to them and rip off their deadly handsome faces. They took chains off from a girl and let her free. Girl still wasn’t going anywhere. She just shaked still. When she lifted up her green eyes I could see all the fear they had caused to her and that fear have lived there already a long time. Wierd thing for me was that I couldn’t see any sing of tired on her face. They haven’t tortured her. I was reliefed. They only made her scare. I coudln’t handle more guilty anymrore. I already felt for guilty of that they caught her. I looked her into eyes and saw her fear. It was growing and becoming horror. Normally humasn can’t handle it this long. She was strong. I heard how a knife were taken out of its cover. Tear dropped on the girl’s beautiful face.The knife reached her neck. Sudenly my mouth became dry even thought I wasn’t sad. I was empty. Heard giant snap when someone broken her neck.
- Brea! I screamed. They couldn’t do this. - NO! Brea!
I yank rope aorunf my hands but it didn’t gave in. It didn’t get my hands free. I screamed, growled and spit on them. Desperation started to eat me inside. They couldn’y do this.My wrists bleed when I struggled with the rope. Then I heard girl screaming. It cut the air and broke my heart. One of those mant ghost took his knofe too and went to girl and other backed off. He cut her skin and she started to bleed clear red blood. My breatheing became faster and O screamed as a phsyco. I hated that feeling but I had to do it. I kenw the girl would be scare of me afterwards. Just like everyone was. My voice of screaming became higher and it changed. They lifted the knife to her neck and gashed long scracth there. I knew that they was going to make her die slow just for me.
- Brea! I screamed her.
Spittel slpashed out off my mouth. My ghostly glow started to fill the whole room. It was more whtie than ghost sheet or snow. My voice resonate everywhere and I yell from the bottom of my soul. I swooped to person next to the girl and I didn’t gave a damn about his knife. But he went through me and I tried to keep myself standing. I couldn’t do anything to that man. I psuhed the girl to the ground and I saw how her body just flopped down painfully. Blood on her neck splashed on me. Someone dragged the rope around my wrists and I almost fell. I yell from the pain. I couldn’t gave up because girl wasn’t dead. I still had hope. I looked around and saw in this dark hall how every ghost here was comig this way. I reached the hands holding my rope and I pressed my nails into the meat. It hurt my hands so much but I just bit my teeth together. I felt little joy when man moans like death. It shooted my ears. I fell next to the girl on the ground and looked her in panic. I turned around so I could grab her shirt with my hands. Shirt was slippery because of blood but I hold it tight. I started to tote her fast. She was heavy and my weak wrists couldn’t carry it so long. A man attacked me and dragged me on the ground. Adrenaline was already swimming in blood and takeing over the pain and feelings. I kicked him with my heels and this time them didn’t went through him. I got wound of his knife on my back but he fall down on the ground. Something sharp cut my hands and same it cut my rope. My hands started bleeding but I didn’t care. At least my hands is free now. The man on the ground tried to turn back towards me. I kicked him to stomach and grabbed the rope around his neck. I tied it hard so I didn’t need to watch him die and I could go to girl. Pound of blood under the girl was growing all the time and it made me sick. One of ghosts collapsed on my back and pulled his knife on armpit. I screamed again and its power almost paralyzed me. Then my dark side took over me. It filled all my sences and it made me ignore the deadly pain in my armpits. Then I just disapeared from them. I became a ghost. At this point I could’ve handle everything but now I broke down. Tears run on my cheeks and they blur my eyes. All work I’ve done hear to not break down just walked out of the door. I was too young for this. I couldn’t resist things longer. I closed my eyes and tears ran harder. My ear filled of voices that makes humans go crazy. All I heard was screaming and moaning. Those were voice which was only in fairytale’s dark forests hunting. I pulled girl’s hair away and looked her. Wound on her neck wasn’t so bad but it was bleeding badly. Others ghosts went off too. I couldn’t see them either. I grabbed her shirt and lug her behind me. We had to get out of here fast. She hasn’t died yet. Don’t worry, she is still alive. I tried to calm myself down. My hands shaked for pain and trying hold on the shirt. Darkness was fallen and I couldn’t see anyone. I tried to be careful where I passed but I still kind of ran across the hall. My hold slipped when someone yelled right next to me. My consciousness faltered already in unconsciousness and my thought has messed up. All I tasted and smelled was blood. I felt blood on my own shirt and how it drained down my back like cold sweat. I bumped to big woody door. We had got across the room. I almost jumped for joy. I opened the door. It was a mistake because silence filled the room and I could even hear everyone turn around. They felt comig air. I wrenched the broken girl out of the door and closed the door right behind. I took a better grip the girl and ran. We might go away but we still will leave blood behind us. I didn’t regonize this place and it had many halls where to turn but didn’t which way we should head so I kept just running forward and I hoped I will not bump to walls. I took fright when I heard them again. They were chaising us again. I couldn’t tell how far they were but I could say they will cautch us soon. My consciousness throw half way to edge of unconsciousness. Stargger while running and I fell for stair front of us. I feel every bone inside me and which way my blood is running. The girl rolls right behind me ja her flabby body lands on me. We will got caught now. Then I fall down to unconsciousness.
I just wanted to post something to here so I posted piece of story I have been written lately. It might be harsh or not-so-it-don’t-hurt(I mean there is violance). I would like to people’s opinion about it. But no more speaking, this is the part of the story. I hope you enjoy of reading it. (and my first language isn’t english so don’t judge me)
Okay here you go!
- Mom? I asked confused
Woman didn’t react at all even thought my voice was full of disgust and fear.
- What are you doing here?
Now she stopped doing. She pulled her raven black hair behind an ear. The movement was careful.
- Get out! You are not welcome here! I screamed to the woman.
I was angry. I didn’t want to see my real family anymore. Especially after they gave me away. They were insane. Madness belongs to their soul.
- Go! I commanded her.
The woman turned around with face looking the ground. She slowly and deliberately rise her face. A grin in her face was crazier than what Joker could do. Fear tried to eat me inside but anger pushed over it. I still tremnled when she stood up.
- I can here your madness under anger. Just like me when I was younger, she gave a gloomy laugh with her grin. I could see perfectly her white teeth so good.
- And of course I am very flattered when you called me mom, she gave me a laugh again. I kept my feet on the ground and watched the monster front of me straight to the eyes.
- I told you to get out alredy so start walking, I tried to be colder with my voice than she was.
- Yes, I’m not welcome here and blaa blaa blaa. I know dear.
She rolled her eyes to me.
- It’s wierd to hear that your own daugher wants to get rid of her mother. And don’t call me your daugher. You have no right to it anymore.
- You called me mom first, but whatever, her voice was poisonous. - and who are these people who live here? They must scare you if you setteled down in here.
Womans eyes had endless hungry in them and her face became crazier.
- What happened to your leg? Why are you limping? She asked me and came closer and kneeled down smoothly. Then I saw her so close and I realized that she wasn’t physical anymore. It didn’t mean anything good so I took a step back.
- Are you afraid of me, daughter? You really should be there where we send you because you are fear like a human, she spitted those words like dirt.
- Why did you came here? I asked her with low voice so she sould know that I can go crazy too. But the anserw I got was tormenting evil laugh and right after I felt cold knife pulling harder inside the old wound I had. Pain went through my body and my sight almost went off. My breath stopped and I could breath no more. I grabbed the knife out of my leg and threw it straight throught the woman. I heard animaly dirty laugh coming out of her beautiful face and laugh turned to insane and phsycopathical bray. Then I turned around and started to run.
New part again. This kind of came out of one songs lyrics but it's still about same characther as other Neverminds are about. The girl is always same.
I looked a boy into eyes. His eyes sparkled like stars. They told story like the stars. But then they closed. I understood it now and I couln't do anything. Tears fall down on my cheeks. How I could have forget? Why no one had asked me that until now? Iwas terrible person. I squeezed my hands tigh. Why they did this to me? They just turned myself looking at only myself snd not surroundings. They made me selfish. And it made me unstable. I had to get out of here. Tears were cold rivers on my cheeks and they were frozen. The boy lay on the ground.
- How many you have to kill? I asked them but no one ansewred.
- I killed only one of you. What you have done? You killed innocent people! Only because of me! And then you killed my best friend and now my brother. When it's enough? A man walked front of me. He was tall and tanned.
- Only one!?! He laughed at my face.
- Nothing more!?! Salvia sparkled out of his mouth right on my face. other people inside the room laughed little bit too. I didn't look man to his eyes. I looked the boy on the ground and tried to focus the anserw he gave me. But I didn't want to come up with more tears.
- That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He laughed. And they everyone in the room laughed. They all laughed for boy's death. Suddenly little knock echoed in the room. It was so little that it could barely hear. No one cared about it. Then a door opened other side of the room and a girl, head taller than me, walked right trought the man and turned to face him. I knew that girl. The man didn't even had a time to lay his eyes on the girl when she pucnhed him middle of his perfect face. She hit him so hard that I could hear his nose broke. Deep silnece were ripped in the whole room. it filled every corner and it grew unbearable. Then the girl spoke:
- Don't you get involved with my family because then you get involved with me. She puched the man again and again and again. No one inside that room did nothing everyone were frozed on their feet. No one did make a move expect the girl and the man. Something cut through my wrists. It hurt and I tried not to scream. My hands were just healed. But then I felt how it was cut a rope around my wrists. I pumped the man down and my sister cut his throath. Then she laughed warm familiar laugh that I have missed. Her laught was always been wild and unruly.
