[ashesinverses]

My Salvation

I remember the months I didn’t move,

didn’t breathe, didn’t belong,

but still somewhere under my skin,

sadness still pulses like a drum,

steadily, heavily.

Every dose is a promise,

but also a reminder of fragility

which I disguise as a solid wall.

Every pill is a protection against collapsing,

a lullaby in my sleep,

a defense against the urge to bleed, to disappear.

It is buried under aching waves

that rage inside me without to kill.

But what if the wall falls?

I don’t think I could survive it again.

[ritual-bite]

[weltenwellen]

Devin Kelly, from “The Old Catcher Considers the Failing of His Knees"

[threewordusername]

stay with me forever, dear stranger.

d.b.a

[remanence-of-love]

[reeces--pieces]

lovely girl

well it's always falling apart but when is it not? so i go back to my happy place as if there ever was one

well i threw up in my mouth again and it's nothing you said it's just the thought of it well i think i'm too weak for this

there's always one for another even if they never get to meet and when they do, you know how it goes and it's back to square one with me

well it hurts and that's good because it means i still feel that's better than nothing that i haven't lost it all

[thepersonalquotes]

[beforeyearning]

[n-ehpamoi]

I, was.

Was, running away.

Or, away was running me --

my legs always carrying me to a distant beyond I could never reach --

far past responsibility and connection and love --

but truth is ever present and over-flowing, and denial is a well run dry --

I do not want to run, anymore, from truth --

and this, feels true --

I, was -- running, forever away, because it was all i knew.

Because I was scared of what it meant to be near.

But I know what it means, now, to be still.

I have learned the peace in sitting with connection, even through fear.

I was, running.

But now, I am no longer that "was" --

I only am.

I am scared, still, but wanting, now, to stay.

I am, here.

V, Rue, 2025.

[ashesinverses]

Conditional Heart

When you leave,

my heart folds back into silence.

As if silence were the only safe place

to live, to breathe.

But believe me I care.

Affection is just a ghost

slumbering beneath my ribs,

hidden under my heavy chest.

My love has conditions:

promixity, proof, touch,

but I don’t want to be cold.

Maybe my love doesn't die,

I just lose reception,

lose the signal,

but the closer you stand, the louder I feel.

But I promise there's a version of me

that feels everything,

it only wakes up when you're there.

[lylylylylylylylyly]

[iambrillyant]

“you cannot change their perceptions of you, the scopes they choose to see you from, the narratives they falsely create of you, but you can solidify the ideas you have of yourself, finding acceptance for who you are in spite of your flaws and quirks by embracing your uniqueness.”

— iambrillyant

[iambrillyant]

“november, fill my cup with love, let it overflow into my intentions. pour into the parts of me that i emptied while filling other places, water the roots that i stopped nurturing while breathing life into other spaces, may i find ways back to myself to give back to everyone else.”

— iambrillyant

[iambrillyant]

“honor the friendships that allow you to pick up from where you last left off, regardless of how long it’s been since you connected. the friendships that survive hiatuses, silences and space. those are the connections that never die.”

— iambrillyant

[iambrillyant]

“december, close the chapters that don’t speak to my spirit and open up the pages that remind me of who i am. give me the courage to release myself from what i’ve outgrown so i can fit into shoes suited for where my journey is going. balm me in patience and soak my bones in love.”

— iambrillyant

[theartoffresco]

[iambrillyant]

january, refresh the pages in my soul and replenish the cup of patience i hold for myself, unlock the doors that are in alignment with my purpose and block any paths that threaten to take me away from me, raise the volume on my intentions to silence any doubts. be cathartic.