east coast sugar

hypergamy based blog. black.

[freewaveanii]

You have to invest in you. You have to want the best for you. You have to focus on you. Don’t worry about what anyone else is doing or what anyone will think. People come and go, but you got you forever!

[ellethestargazer]

Skin cycling works sooo well!! I’ve been doing it for about a month and my skin looks incredible 😍

[khayriya-deactivated20250830]

[doormchic]

[tomb-of-ligeia-deactivated20230]

most important thing anyone’s ever told you?

If you treat a man like a celebrity then he‘ll treat you like a fan.

There will be no calling him past 10 o’clock, there will be no begging for his attention, there will be no going out on last minute late night dates. If he snaps his fingers then you do not go running to him, you don’t answer his every need, you don’t treat him like your husband, and you do not get on your knees and beg for whatever crumbs of affection he’s willing to give you. You can do it all and still be soft, gentle, and kind but men will take advantage of your kindness and you need to be able to put them in their place and let it be known to them that any bad treatment from them won’t work.

There will be no accepting low effort gifts without telling him that he could do better, there will be no stroking of his ego, and there will be no begging with him to view you as a woman. If he wants to have you then he’s going to treat you like you matter, there’s no reason you should be opening your door late at night to take him into your bed for a box of Godiva chocolates and some shitty roses from the gas station. Men get by on being incompetent and doing the least, make it clear to them that they won’t be getting by on the least amount of effort they can do to keep you happy. It’s not out of pocket to only want the best from your man and to expect him to put some effort into your love.

If a man asks you out to a last minute dinner then you don’t go running to him and sit through a date at some boring out of the way restaurant he’s only taking you to to make you happy. He should have made reservations, he should have made an effort to ask you a few days in advance, and he should have brought you flowers and made it clear that he’s taking you out for a nice night because it’s what you deserve and he wants to let you know how much he loves and appreciates having you as his girlfriend. The worst date of my entire life was a last minute date at a bar and he outright told me that he’d only asked me out because his first choice had blown him off, I’ll never accept a date like that ever again and I don’t think it’s wrong to expect a man to put in effort and care when it comes to planning a night out, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be thinking of you and what you like when he plans a date night.

There will be no fawning, ego stroking, endless compliments from you to him, and and you will not sit around and listen to his whining and complaining like you’re his therapist or his mother. You will not go out with a man who can’t compliment you or who makes every compliment he gives you sound like he’s given it to a thousand girls before you, you will not bother giving him endless grace when he needs to be put in his place, and you will not chase after him and throw yourself at him like your dignity does not matter. You’re not a therapist and you’re not going to be treated like one, if you think he needs mental help or a counsellor to talk to then you’re not going to be the woman who he runs to, you’re going to tell him to seek professional help. You need to learn how to put him in his place and let him know that he’s just a man, you need to tell him that it’s unacceptable to pursue you if he’s unable to pull it together, and you need to treat yourself like you matter. You have your own problems, you don’t need to be dealing with the problems of someone who doesn’t want to solve them or someone who doesn’t want help.

You’re going to do all of these things and you’re going to reclaim your dignity and your femininity, he’s going to treat you like a woman and you’re going to reward him with your presence when he does and move on when he doesn’t. You’re not going to go out of your way to give him endless accommodations and treat him like he’s special when he’s just a waste of your time, you’re not going to wait around for a ring that’s never coming, you’re not going to excuse any bad treatment or bad behaviour, and you’re going to let him know that you’re playing the same game. If you let him treat you like you’re a fan then you’re going to end up with a man who treats you like he’s the only thing that matters, he’s going to lead you on, and he’s going to waste your time. You stick to your boundaries and you make it clear what you deserve, you don’t treat every man like an option, you only stay with worthy men, and you keep it moving forward for your own self worth.

Ligeia.

[dosesofglamour]

Hi :) what are your fav resource to stay up to date with current events and learn new things? How do you decide which books to read?

My favourite resources for staying up to date with current events and learning new things

Favourite App

One of my favourite methods for staying up to date with current events and learning new things everyday, is listening to audio articles or stories throughout my work day using the app Curio

I can’t recommend this app enough, the app has a host of amazing publishers ranging from the WSJ, FT, Bloomberg Business week, The Cut and The New Enquiry. It also has playlists that cover a multitude of subjects, so there’s constantly something to learn.

Favourite Podcasts

These three podcasts are by far the best podcasts I’d recommend if you want a deep dive into the subjects of spirituality,neuroscience and mental health. I always walk away having gained valuable insight from them.

Favourite Blog

Messynessychic quite literally feels as though you’re stepping into Narnia’s wardrobe, entering a new world with each piece you read. I get my daily dose of fascinating reads from this blog.

Favourite YouTube Channels

I call it YouTube University for a reason, you can learn everything under the sun on YouTube. Here is a list of my favorite insightful YouTube channels.

Short courses - Crash course

History- Forgotten Lives

Video essays- Nerdwriter1

Art & History- Perspective

Art- Great Art Explained

Philosophy- Pursuit of Wonder

Finance & Investing - Charlie Chang

The world of business- Business Insider

Global stories- Johnny Harris

How I decide which books to read

My general subjects of interest when it comes to books are historical fiction novels, classic novels, non fiction (science,history, anthropology, psychology,religion, biography’s) and contemporary romance books when Im craving an escape. So I normally decide what to read based on the subjects or authors of my interest. I use goodreads to find book recommendations and I also use it to compile my reading list every month.

The books I’m currently reading

A well behaved woman

Alva Smith, her southern family destitute after the Civil War, married into one of America’s great Gilded Age dynasties: the newly wealthy but socially shunned Vanderbilts. Ignored by New York’s old-money circles she was determined to win their respect. Alva also defied convention for women of her time, asserting power within her marriage and becoming a leader in the women's suffrage movement.

Venus Noire

Even though there were relatively few people of color in postrevolutionary France, images of and discussions about black women in particular appeared repeatedly in a variety of French cultural sectors and social milieus. In Vénus Noire, Robin Mitchell shows how these literary and visual depictions of black women helped to shape the country’s postrevolutionary national identity, particularly in response to the trauma of the French defeat in the Haitian Revolution.

Vénus Noire explores the ramifications of this defeat in examining visual and literary representations of three black women who achieved fame in the years that followed. Sarah Baartmann, popularly known as the Hottentot Venus, represented distorted memories of Haiti in the French imagination, and Mitchell shows how her display, treatment, and representation embodied residual anger harbored by the French. Ourika, a young Senegalese girl brought to live in France by the Maréchal Prince de Beauvau, inspired plays, poems, clothing and jewelry fads. Mitchell examines how the French appropriated black female identity through these representations while at the same time perpetuating stereotypes of the hypersexual black woman.

Signed

Doses of Glamour ⚜️

[traditionally-linsi]

If you want results and you’re a woman of colour or religious, I’d highly recommend going to private events and lectures. I personally prefer intellectual men and I think that women who would otherwise be ignored in large settings have an easier time shining in smaller and more intimate settings. One of my favourite activities is attending lectures and I met my Frederick at a lecture he was giving, one of my good friends is engaged to a man that she met at a book reading and talk she went to, and my cousin thought it would be fun to go on a free brewery tour and she met the love of her life between barley talk. I believe in blooming where you’re planted but I also believe in going places and doing things where you know you’ll shine, it also helps if you have a genuine interest in the activities you’re going to and the lectures you’re listening to just because a bit of knowledge will take you a long way.

[tomb-of-ligeia-deactivated20230]

tips linsi has given you?



Go out on a date ASAP.

Once you meet a man then you need to solidify plans to go out on an actual date. If you don’t start planning a date with him within a day or two of talking and he doesn’t take you out within a week then you’re going to become a pen pal forever. Some men just like to have women who they can text as they please and have as their entertainment but if you’re looking for a serious relationship then you need to be looking for a man who wants to take you out instead of endless time wasting on the phone. If a man starts asking you to FaceTime and give him your attention when he can’t take you out then you need to move on, there’s no reason why he should be allowed to have phone dates with you. A lot of men get off on wasting time and even more of them are just looking for casual fun, there’s nothing wrong with putting your foot down, telling the man that you’re speaking to that you prefer to shoot for in-person dates within 3 days of talking, planning a date, and going out with someone who wants to take you out.

Character before Clout.

The character of the man you’re dating and the way he treats you is a million times more important than the clout his name could bring you. There’s nothing worse than being with a man who you cannot stand or who mistreats you and it’s not worth trading in the best parts of your youth for a little bit of clout. There comes an age where it’s unacceptable to chase after men who don’t want anything to do with you just because they have clout or you think they have fame, it’s easier on your mind and on your heart to pursue and be pursued by emotionally mature men who are ready and able to love, who are of a strong moral fibre, and who want to be with women who they can trust and love. There’s no point in dating a man who you’re with for his clout and having to watch him mess around town, make a fool of you, and waste your time, and you shouldn’t be sitting around waiting for him to come around when he never will. Start off with a man of high calibre who’s able to begin a relationship treating you the correct way and end a relationship in the same way. You date a man with good morals, with a good heart, with a good head on his shoulders, and with strong character and you won’t have to do too much worrying about him at all.

Pre-Sex Sex Talk is Gross.

If you’re looking to seriously date someone then you don’t let him speak to you about sex. The fact of the matter is that no woman cares about a man’s prowess in bed and no woman actually wants to sit around and listen to a man she doesn’t know talk about how he’s going to please her. It’s pathetic and it’s pathetic when men start off thinking that you’re just going to fall into bed with them and give them your all just because they’re treating you to dinner. If you’re unable to look at a man and flat out tell him that you do not want to speak about sex when you’ve just met him and you’re just getting to know him then you’ve got a self-worth problem that you need to work on, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to shut that down…I would excuse myself from the table, take myself home, and find someone who respected me. It’s reasonable to have conversations about sex once you’ve gotten to a point where you’re comfortable and you feel like you’re in a real relationship but you do not let men talk to you about sex when you’ve just met. Immediately talking about sex is a huge red flag and a sign that he will never take you seriously or treat you as anything other than an object that he can call sometimes for sex.

Can you tell the girls?

There’s no point in dating a man who you have to hide from your friends and family, it’s tedious to go to the effort and it’s actually shameful to be in a relationship with someone who you have to hide. If you’re dating someone who you feel like you have to constantly defend then you need to really think to yourself if you have an issue with your friends or an issue with your relationship. If you find yourself constantly fighting to defend your boyfriend then there is probably a reason, women love to wear rose coloured glasses when they’re in relationships and a lot of people who have distance from the situations that a lot of women find themselves in are able to see the red flags from the start. It’s also just not nice to be with someone who doesn’t get along with your friends and I’ve found that a lot of men who can’t make things work with the friends of their partner try to isolate them from their friends later on. Take it from someone who’s been through it all and made terrible choices with men, if all of your friends hate him then there’s probably a reason that you either can’t see or are choosing not to see.

It’s sexy to have boundaries.

Nothing is hotter and healthier than having boundaries with men and I stand by that, you need to have clear boundaries with men and you cannot be afraid to enforce these boundaries. You cannot jump when they tell you to and run to them when they demand it, you need to have some self respect and you need to treat yourself like you matter. It makes you look desperate if you make yourself available to whoever wants you and there’s no reason you should be going out whenever men demand it of you, answering their texts the moment they send them, accepting calls at 2 o’clock in the morning, and going out of your way to centre your life around a man you just met. You should not be going out of your way to accommodate men you do not know, you shouldn’t even go out of your way to accommodate men who you do know, there’s no reason why you should be the one scrambling and making yourself available to every man who snaps his fingers when it’s easier to let things progress in a healthy way and it’s better to make it clear to them that you have a life and needs that you need to care for before you care for them. Having clear boundaries and enforcing them is the exact opposite of being desperate, boundaries help weed out the wrong men, and having boundaries shows men that they can either respect you or they can find the nearest exit.

xxx

[self-healing]

you need to start believing that nothing is too good for you

[dreamgrlarchive]

once again! <3

[surra-de-bunda]

Meagan Good at “Sky High” premiere (2005).

[sadittyprincess-deactivated2025]

[lipstvcked]

You are such a powerful being, such an awesome creator of your life. You manifested this human body. You have been manifesting even before you were born. What you give attention to comes alive. You are the magician and you are the magic. All things are vying for your attention and not the other way round. Your SP, your dream job, your dream vacation, that fancy house, millions dollars… it’s all yours🤍

[strwbabycake]

Take it easy ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

[babyphat05-deactivated20250613]

I’m not bashing women who want different things at all but some of these women look down on doctors (yes I’ve seen it) and men making 200k a year when they don’t even make half of that. Not everyone is marrying a millionaire CEO.

Nah…say this again. Being hypergamous doesn’t mean you’re going to marry a man worth 25 million dollars. I mean if that’s the goal, go for it, but it’s not ideal for everyone. You could marry a surgeon who makes 300k a year and be good to go. People sometimes relate dating up to dating a billionaire. Even men who work in tech?? They’re making bank. I don’t know why women look down on men with “traditional” jobs making six figures.

[diamondthedime-deactivated20250]

Shhhh don’t be so loud lol. Let them talk down on someone making $200K or the 9-5/corporate men so the rest of us can get to them.

In all seriousness, don’t brush off these type of men. They come with BENEFITS(!!!), stability, and very much so money.

Many of them have investments. They’re making 200K a year with 200K in the emergency fund (not the savings gurl…) and 200K+ in dividends.

Befriend these type of men, or at least get close enough. When you get a new TV and need it hung. When you need help moving/putting together your bookshelf. When you have a flat tire. These are the kind of men you want in your contacts.

If nothing else, they’ll be the way you’ll find your millionaire man. Networking is key

[bronzyglow]

april is the month of light, rediscovery and balance

[shynestar]

[finessedbarbie]

Be careful who you surround yourself with. Being around women who speak negatively about themselves will eventually rub off on you and make you do the same.