Wynie & Friends: The Weekly Feed
This story includes the following characters: Wyanne Whyle, Emcy Player, @amus2110 Tobi Ardis, @lyra-prag Leo Lovegood, @kijoo Amihan, with the mentioning of @amus2110 Carina Savage and @mostboringcrossover River Cain
“What toast is his favourite?” Leo asked as the three friends walked down the long, winding staircase leading down to the boathouse. “French toast? Old toast? Wet toast? Burnt toast?”
Tobi frowned. “I don’t think he’d like wet toast.” “But he’s a squid! If he catches the toast and pulls it underwater, wouldn’t the toast be wet before it even reaches his mouth?” “Maybe he can’t taste the sogginess because he’s also underwater… Shorty, what do you think? What’s Toasty’s favourite?” Both boys looked down at the Hufflepuff.
Wyanne hiked her basket higher and blinked at them with her rounded eyes. “...Toast.”
Leo sighed, “that’s not helpful.” Tobi just laughed at her answer, and the three reached the bottom of the staircase.
“Awrite,” Tobi rubbed his hands together in anticipation, “how do we do this? Toss the toast over? Or is there an altar where we sacrifice the toast?”
Wyanne looked up at them again. “Just cast an umbrella charm or Protego in case he sprays any water over you.”
“Is he that excited to see us?” Leo asked as Tobi cast his charm with a curious expression. “Will it howl?” “Sort of...? It’s this deep, rumbling sound when he makes it… Like a tummy grumble,” Wyanne answered. “Now get your charm ready."
Once she was certain both boys were good, she inhaled a deep breath, filling her stomach with air — before diving her head under the surface of the water! “Oi!” Tobi shouted in alarm, “you’re too young to d —”
A huge tentacle burst through the surface of the water, then more followed, waving excitedly as the squid slowly moved toward their direction. Wyanne resurfaced with a bubble head air charm on her. “Toasty!” She shouted excitedly. There was a low whine in the air, as if the squid had answered. “Hello!” She laughed happily when a tentacle hugged her tightly, popping the air charm in the process. “Who’s a good squid?” She tickled the tentacle and laughed louder when the squid made a low groan and shook the tentacle away from her.
“I — woah!” Tobi stood as still as a stone statue when the tentacle wrapped around him too. “He’s not gonna throw me around again, is he?” He whispered nervously, “I swear I won’t trip this time…” He breathed a sigh of relief when the tentacle loosened and patted his head affectionately.
“Hello,” Leo greeted with a smile when Toasty took his hat off, “you look very lovely today as usual, Mr. Squid.” The tentacle put his hat back on his head and booped his nose. It made Leo smile wider as he wiped the water away.
The tentacle swam back to Wyanne and poked her basket. “Silly Toasty,” Wyanne reached into it and tossed the toast over the tentacles. It was caught and pulled underwater.
“Oh! Oh! I wanna try!” Wyanne handed Leo a toast and watched him toss it. The toast flew gracefully in a perfect curve, grazed a tentacle, and fell on the surface with a loud, sad SPLAT!
Wyanne grinned at him shamelessly. “Wah? Leo can’t throw a piece of toast?”
“I’m a Beater, not a Chaser,” the Ravenclaw defended himself hotly. Tobi and Wyanne laughed among themself as Leo huffed. “Tobi?” Wyanne waved a toast under Tobi’s chin. “Wanna try?”
“Thank you.” Tobias swung the toast in the air, and it flew over the tentacle he’d been aiming for. It fell splat on the surface as well. Tobi chuckled to himself and reached down to grab a toast to try again.
Leo wasn’t one to give up easily. He grabbed more toast and started throwing as well. Most were inches away from the tentacles, while other attempts had the toast landing on some rocks. When the last toast landed on the water again. Leo was getting a migraine.
“I wanna try tossing something else!” Leo was immediately handed a small bucket and — “Is that a baby squid?!”
“Let me see — A Thighearna!” The black, murky, squiggling contents in the bucket caught Tobi completely off guard. “What is this for?”
“A squid can’t eat toast alone,” Wyanne reached into the bucket and, without blinking an eye, grabbed a handful of wiggling worms, fish, slimy snails, and baby squids. “It also helps it not get gut problems.” She made a low, vibrating sound that was probably the equivalent of whistling for Toasty, then tossed the ball of questionable protein towards the dancing tentacles.
“You’ve got to be joking.” Leo carefully put the bucket back down and ran over to Tobi’s side, just to get as far away from the bucket of wiggling slimy things inside that cursed bucket as possible. “How long have you been doing this again?”
“Uhh…” Wyanne tossed another yucky handful of protein towards Toasty. “Since 5th year?”
The boys shared an awkward, almost petrified look, and collectively reached for the basket for more toast.
Toss. More wiggly protein. Splat! Another toast hits the water. Toss. You could almost hear the baby squids screaming as they flew across the air.
And all of a sudden — “Yes!” Leo shouted and high-fived Tobi. “I got it! I got it!” “I know! That was so beautiful!” Tobi pretended to wipe a stray tear away.
Wyanne smiled at the boys’ reaction and washed the slime off her hands with aguamenti and soap (yes, she keeps a bar of soap in her pocket — for emergencies). The rest of the protein can go back to the wild after the feed was finished...
Tobi tossed another toast and jumped up happily when the squid caught it. “This is so much fun!” The two boys scrambled for more to toss. Wyanne grabbed a piece too and, after waiting for Leo, tossed it over to the squid. Splat! She rolled her eyes when the boys snickered, and threw a piece of toast at them.
Tobi caught it with his mouth. “Mhm. This is actually not bad,” he commented happily. Wyanne snorted at his reaction while Leo reached to grab a toast and took a bite. Hmm.
An unwelcome cackle sounded from the top of the staircase. “It can’t be,” Duncan Hobhouse snickered at the friend group. “The mudblood and the lunatic. Lovegood, you haven’t been kidnapped by these two, have you?”
Wyanne blinked at him while Tobias scowled. “Leave us alone, Dunkein.”
“Hmph!” Hobhouse descended the stairs and walked up to them. “The name doesn’t bother me anymore. You can say it all you want, and I will not be bothered at all!”
“Sounds like it still affects you though, considering you acknowledged it,” Leo replied casually after swallowing a bite, which made Wyanne snicker.
“You have a lot of nerve to laugh, Lunatic,” Duncan glared at her. “How’s the view down there?”
“It was quite good a moment ago until a toad ruined it,” Wyanne answered with a straight face.
“Tch. A toad. I suppose you had fun with it, didn’t you, Lunatic?”
“No, he was being too snobby. Would you like him? I think he’d like a twin.”
“No,” Hobhouse scoffed, “I already have a sister.”
He sneered and took a step closer “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I’d love to explain it, really I do,” Wyanne picked up the bucket on the floor before he could knock it over, “but I’m afraid I can’t understand it for you.”
Leo’s brows were going to disappear under his hat. Tobi was grinning proudly like an older brother as he watched Hobhouse try to make sense of Wyanne’s insult.
A few seconds later, Hobhouse gasped obnoxiously. “Did you just call me stupid?!”
Wyanne just smiled. “Quick as a glacier, you are. Oh, by the way, you’ve got something in your hair.”
He jumped away before she did anything. “Ha! I’m not falling for that! I know there’s nothing in my ha—” “Flipendo.” Wyanne watched the bucket of protein flip over, and the contents spilled all over him.
“Might wanna check again…” she whispered as Hobhouse screamed while a baby squid clung tightly to his cheek. “Those things bite, just warning you. They’ve got beaks and tiny sharp teeth!”
Hobhouse didn’t need to be told twice. He was already halfway up the staircase, screaming his head off.
Wyanne looked down at her now empty bucket. Sigh…
“Oof…” Leo winced when he peered into it too. “What a waste of good protein…”
“I was kind of hoping Toasty would toss him into the water,” Tobi pouted.
“Oh no, Toasty won’t do that.” Wyanne stared at the waving tentacles a few feet away. “He did it once and never did it again. I think he's just disgusted by Dunkein.”
The revelation did not make either boy laugh. “Wait — this isn’t a one-time occurrence?” Tobi looked up the staircase and back at Wyanne. “He appears every feed?” “Yup.” Leo made a face. “Why would he follow you? Does he fancy you?”
“Ew, I don’t know!” Wyanne put her hands on her hips crossly. “You think I would want that to fancy me?”
Leo raised his hands in surrender. “Hey, I’m just offering a possibility, because he sounds obsessed.”
Wyanne pretended to barf. “I’d rather kiss a basilisk.”
“Don’t let River hear that,” Leo poked fun at her, which earned him an eye-roll.
“Well, Toasty’s gone,” Tobi pointed out, “is that bad? Did we ignore him for too long?”
“Oh no, no, that’s not it,” Wyanne picked up the basket, “he’s just eaten enough. Every feed takes about 10 minutes anyway. He did pick up the toast you threw on the water, so I think he might be a bit over-fed this time. We should head back now.”
As the three walked up the long, winding staircase leading back to the castle, Tobi asked, “can we do this again next week?” Leo chimed in as well. “Yeah, I wanna watch Shorty put Dunkein in his place again. Quick as a glacier? That one was great!”
“Is deas uait é sin a rá,” Wyanne playfully bowed. “And of course we can do this again next week. We can’t overfeed him next time, lest the Giant Squid of Hogwarts becomes the Humongous Squid of Hogwarts.”
Emcy was not at all pleased to hear that Hobhouse showed up at the Hospital Wing with baby squids and all kinds of disgusting stuff on him. What was worse was that the lad had come in wailing while they and Carina were having a lovely chat about Carina's latest read.
“You’re just bitter that your date got interrupted,” Wyanne blew a raspberry at them after Emcy was finished with their long lecture about rules and cognitive judgement or something.
Amihan, on the other hand, looked thoroughly pleased. “I think you did a very good job, Wynie. Sad that the Squid didn’t toss him into the lake. I heard Dunkein can’t swim.”
“Toasty’s disgusted by him,” Wyanne explained, “I’m certain he would’ve done that if he didn’t have such hatred towards Dunkein.”
Emcy sighed irritably. “Next time, do not toss animals on Duncan, regardless of what he says. You could get into trouble and lose house points."
“Uh-huh,” Wyanne patted their shoulder, “okay, I’m sorry. I’ll remember to consider your schedule with Carina as well before I throw carnivorous animals at someone next time.”
Amihan just bursted into laughter while Emcy narrowed their eyes at the Hufflepuff. “There should be no ‘next time’, Winnie.”
“That'll be a thing the day I die,” Wyanne promised with a nod. “By the way, is that Carina?” She bursted into a fit of giggles when Emcy turned around immediately.
“Not a word,” Emcy hissed over their shoulder before they ran to their girlfriend. Amihan and Wyanne glanced at each other before smiling.
“Amihan,” Wyanne blinked at the Prefect, “you won’t punish me, will you?”
“No,” she said easily and patted her shoulder, “just don’t let Emcy catch you again. I’m going to Quidditch practice now, see you later.”
“Byee!” Wyanne waited till Amihan was gone before she herself skipped towards the Hospital Wing upstairs. If she was right, Hobhouse should still be resting up there.
When she poked her head in and found the front desk empty, she sneaked inside with quiet steps and looked around — to find Duncan sleeping soundly in a bed in the corner.
She quietly scoffed. “I had thrown the bucket over you for trying to insult me, Dunkein,” she whispered quietly as her shadow loomed taller over the boy’s slumbering figure. “But I haven’t avenged Tobi for what you called him…”
