[mlhraiders]

sorry i didn’t text you back i was having floor time

[metalwing15]

I really felt the need to make some more pixel art as well as a pixel art print so I went ahead and did both!

So if you’d like to get this piece as a print and much more you can get it at Redbubble and Society6!

[coleslawbros]

Prompt #2: "Beatrice, stowaway"

“Beatrice, stowaway”

I spend a lot of time stoned because I don’t like myself. Plenty of people get high on marijuana for the euphoric effects because it calms them down and makes them more amiable. I take it because I’m a stowaway in my own mind. 

You know what it’s like, don’t you, to not really know who you are at your core? We could be good, bad, and everything in between, but I know I’m nothing. I’m a mute standing at the stovetop, stirring a pot of soup, sipping it every now and again. It needs salt. It needs msg. It needs lithium.

My mind controls me, not the other way around. I feel either so strongly I need to break every bone in my body or nothing at all, and I’m just stirring the pot to have something to do. Not to actually create anything, no, just to stir. Clockwise seven times. Counterclockwise once. Repeat. I never really add anything. Just sip sip sip.

“Beatrice, don’t you have the doctors today?”

My head snapped up from where it was staring listlessly into my bowl of soggy cheerios. “Yeah, sorry, mom. Thanks.” I stood up and dumped the untouched cereal into the sink, listening to the angry churning of the garbage disposal. I took a puff off my vape, leaning deep into it, letting the molecules of THC bind to my blood and the weight of the world lift a little. Better.

I wandered outside to my car and climbed in, shutting the door. I didn’t bother brushing my teeth or putting on a bra; that all seemed like so much effort when I already had to drive myself to my morning doctor’s appointment and then come back to work on my Algebra assignment. 

Math was not my strong suit, never had been. Honestly, math homework made me want to die more than existing did. Something about solving for x or y or using imaginary numbers made me want to bang my head into the wall above my bed.

I turned up the music, plugging in my aux cord until the song was louder than the thoughts in my head, and I could breathe again. Putting the car into reverse, I backed out of my driveway and drove out toward school. Drives like this were the best part of my day because I was alone, yes, but the music overwhelmed me. 

The music settled my bones, settled the mania of my mind, and let me peek out occasionally to feel the colors on my skin like the sun racing behind parted clouds.

I want to cry so hard that I choke, til I shake my mind loose from its moorings. My eyes are dry, and my chest is still. My heart beats steadily. My fingers grip the steering wheel as tight as the corded knots in my back.

You see, it happened again. Whether I’m stoned or not, people still don’t like me. I got ghosted again, something beautiful that has happened since time began. When someone doesn’t have the courage or capacity to confront someone about how deeply unlikeable they are, they ghost them. They disappear out of their life like they never were, with no explanation or goodbyes, no real closure for the person affected.

My therapist, Janice, tells me that no one owes anyone an explanation but that she gets why it is such a huge trigger for me. For someone who spent their childhood unwanted and abused, bullied and left to rot, someone exiting my life so unceremoniously affects me deeper than others.

I’m trying to get over it, get over Sam, but I really liked her. We’d hung out almost every day for the last six months, chatting and bingeing shows on Netflix. She kissed me like she meant it, hungry. I’d felt ecstatic to connect with her, someone so human. Obviously, it was never going to last, but I didn’t know it would end so abruptly. I wasn’t even sure the last time we’d had sex. Was it after we’d finished Downton Abbey or after our ice cream date?

That was it. That was part of the problem; I had a memory like a sieve and spent all my time panning for gold, trying to remember the little bits that made me a person. We’d had a fight, and Sam, with her big poofing curls pulled back into two cute little clouds surrounding her head, brown eyes warm but angry.

“It’s like you’re not even here, Bea,” she’d told me, her voice worn at the edges. “Like I see you, I feel you, but it’s all empty.”

“I am here,” I’d pleaded with her, but we both felt the hollowness in my voice, the lack of something vital to make it believable.

Her amber eyes shined with tears as she stood up from the kitchen table and then turned away. “Do you even care?”

“Of course I do.” I cared more about her than I had in a long time about anyone and felt connected to her so strongly it choked me up. But none of that came across when I spoke. 

“It’s like you’re not even a part of the team here. It’s just me, and you’re a stowaway, and that doesn’t make a partnership.”

I didn’t say anything. What was the point?

“I need space.”

So I gave it to her. I gave her the space she asked for. I watched a whole season of Stranger Things on my own before I texted her again, and she never replied. I didn’t understand I had been ghosted at first, so I pathetically texted her a few more times before the message hit home: she was done with me.

The one person who really made me feel anything, who had made me feel safe in my own skin for once, dropped me as easily as if I hadn’t meant anything to her. It was as if our relationship had been just a passing fancy.

And honestly? She was right. There was nothing to me, and I was just a stowaway, locked in the travesty of my own mind.

I pulled into the parking lot of my therapist’s office and put the car into park with a jerk. The tears wanted to come now, of course, that way, I could walk in there and show Janice my pain, prove that I really had felt something for Sam. That I could make Janice believe me even if I couldn’t prove it to Sam.

God, what was wrong with me? My girlfriend had ghosted me, and I was still thinking about her like there was something to prove. I had trouble letting go, and Janice said it had to do with my personal trauma.

I needed people to like me to fill some void, mainly because I didn’t like myself. I could hear her voice in my head even as I walked into her office, reprimanding me for ruminating on all the wrong things to help me heal. 

I checked in with the lady at the front desk, wiping away the tears beading in the corner of my eyes. She pretended not to notice. My phone was in my hand, and I opened up her messages, typing in the dreaded i miss u. I didn’t send it. I didn’t want her to be put in the awkward position of having a stalker, someone who couldn’t take a hint. But the desire to send it was so powerful that I swallowed and shoved my phone into my back pocket. I was weak, but I wasn’t stupid. 

“You keep allowing yourself to build all these impossible feelings inside,” Janice said, rambling on. “You build these relationships with people, these commitments, but fail to express them properly. Then when they disappoint you, you blame yourself.” She sighed, scribbling something on her yellow legal pad. 

“You’re disappointed,” I grumbled, sinking into her white leather couch.

“What I feel is honestly irrelevant, Beatrice. You need to wake up and realize that instances like this are going to keep happening until you take control of your life.”

[coleslawbros]

Prompt 1: What to do when you can't sleep: overthink.

[anexperimentallife]

[anexperimentallife]

[write-on-world]

[lyraandherdaemon]

@thevillagequeer

[sailor-v]

magic is actually something that can be so personal,

[thoughtkick]

“I still catch myself feeling sad about things that don’t matter anymore.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

[the-damndest-creature]

“I had no interests. I had no interests in anything. I had no idea how I was going to escape. At least the others had some taste for life. They seemed to understand something that I didn’t understand. Maybe I was lacking. It was possible. I often felt inferior. I just wanted to get away from them. But there was no place to go. Suicide? Jesus Christ, just more work. I felt like sleeping for five years but they wouldn’t let me.”

— Charles Bukowski, Ham on Rye 

[baelatargaryen]

Amber Heard vs. Johnny Depp Fact Check: MASTERLIST (28/04/2022)

VIOLENCE/ABUSE:

Heard has proven 12 out of 14 incidents of abuse by Depp “to the civil standard.

Texts from Depp’s assistant shows his assistant saying Depp kicked Heard; “He was appalled. When I told him he kicked you, he cried…It was disgusting. And he knows it.”

Depp is on audio telling Amber Heard to cut him. He continues to tell her to cut him while wielding a knife, and she is heard begging him to put the knife down.

Texts from Depp to Paul Bettany joke about murdering Amber and raping her dead body. 

Texts about him talking about smacking Amber Heard around.

Audio reveals Depp shouting and calling Heard a “fat ass” a “cunt” and Heard telling him to put his cigarettes out on someone else.

“‘Her lip was swollen and busted up a bit, and she also had these horrible cuts on her arms – like gashes … The she told me that the cuts on her arms were from the broken glass that was from him throwing bottles and smashing glasses all over the place.’” (Heard’s sister, Whitney). 

“Ms Pennington said that she could see gashes on Ms Heard’s arms from her wrists to her elbows. In cross-examination Ms Pennington said that one arm was cut worse than the other. Ms Heard told Ms Pennington that the soles of her feet were also cut. Ms Heard said that Mr Depp had thrown a bottle at her; there had been broken glass all over the ground which was how she had cut her feet.“

Johnny destroying Heard’s closet: “Good morning sir … So …. um Johnny destroyed Amber’s closet”.  (page 82)

“As Ms Lloyd said, ‘We had to restrain both of them.’” Depp supposedly instigated the violence, Heard retaliated. (page 81/82)

Diary entry by Heard talks about Depp strangling her and hitting her in the head: “Our fight was terrible. J [Mr Depp] finally at one point found himself with his shirt wrapped around my neck… He hit me several times. I don’t even know how I wound up with this huge rather annoying knot on the back of my head?” (page 84)

Depp refers to the fight on the train as getting “physical”: ‘..other than the fact that we had a fight on the train, which was physical…’ (page 83)

Text message from Heard to her publicist; “ I’m really bruised and might have a black eye or two tmrw – same with my nose. Nurse on the way to make sure I don’t have concussion.” There are also texts to her psychotherapist saying it’s an ‘emergency’ and a text to a friend in which she says “J beat me up pretty good”. (page 87)

Photos of Heard bruised “which the metadata shows were taken on the morning and afternoon of 16th December 2015”. (page 88)

Makeup artist recalls having to cover up bruising on Heard’s nose, eyes, and her lip injury with red lipstick. (page 89)

Although Depp claims Heard hit him at a party in 2016, the photos of injury Depp claims happened in 2016, where found to be from 2015: “This version of the picture has a date stamp of 23rd March 2015. It could not have been taken after the birthday party on 21st April 2016.” The photo instead was from a previous occasion in which Ms Heard already admitted that she punched Mr Depp. (page 99)

Despite police claims, photos of Heard injuries with meta data show she did sustain injuries by Depp: “There are the photographs. The metadata is not disputed and shows that one of the photographs of Ms Heard’s face was taken before the first pair of police officers arrived.” They also show damage to the apartment. (page 107)

Depp texted Bettany that he “pounded and displayed ugly colors to Amber on a recent journey”.

HEARD’s CLAIMS: 

Heard has previously admitted to hitting Johnny and throwing things at him to defend herself in her original 7hr deposition. (2016)

“She admitted that in the course of this argument, she struck Mr Depp in order, she said, to protect Whitney.” (page 80)

In regards to the donations: “Amber has already been responsible for seven figures in donations to charitable causes and intends to continue to contribute and eventually fulfill her pledge. However, Amber has been delayed in that goal because Mr. Depp filed a lawsuit against her, and consequently, she has been forced to spend millions of dollars defending Mr. Depp’s false accusations against her.”   

“Please tell people it was a fair fight and see what the jury and judge think. Tell the world, Johnny. Tell them, Johnny Depp. I, Johnny Depp, …. man*, I’m-I’m a victim too of domestic violence and I, y’know, it’s a fair fight and see how many people believe or side with you”.

[*NOTE: Heard is using “man” as in “oh, man”, not in reference to Depp’s gender.]

“Full audio shows Heard talking about how their relationship is not “fair fight”, he scoffs and replies “it doesn’t matter” and “fair fight, my ass”, Heard responds “exactly” and that Depp is “bigger and stronger”. Heard goes on to talk about why she felt the need to call 911 after he threw the phone at her face and laid his hands on her.

THE FINGER CLAIM:

Deuters (Depp’s friend) admitting that the story of Depp’s injury was a public relations disaster and saying: ‘Just make sure you say you aren’t sure how he hurt his hand. (page 75)

Depp’s texts to his doctor states he cut his own finger off. Another text is found of Depp again saying he cut his own finger off. Doctor’s notes show the injury is more suggestive of a crushing mechanism. In fact, Depp told three separate people that he cut his own finger off.

Depp heard on tape stating, “I’m talking about Australia. The day I chopped my finger off”.

“Nor did Mr Depp say that Ms Heard had been responsible for the injury to his finger in either of his two texts to sister Christi on 8th March 2015.” (page 78)

FECES PRANK/CLAIM:

Heard did not defecate in Depp’s bed and the previous judge ruled it unlikely. The judge in the previous case ruled it likely it were the dogs, as there was evidence it “had an incomplete mastery of her bowels.”

“Ms. Heard gave evidence that Boo had in the past defecated on the bed and that she herself had cleaned it up rather than leave that task to Ms Vargas.” (page 100)

Furthermore, Depp is on text’s with his assistant’s suggesting to him to defecate and tell Amber it was the dogs as a prank

DRUGS/ALCOHOL:

Texts from Depp’s daughter (Lily-Rose Depp) and Depp himself show that Amber helped him stay sober. Depp talking to his mother-in-law, Paige Heard about Amber helping him.

Texts from Heard and Lily-Rose Depp show the two had an amicable relationship. 

Texts show Depp’s constant use of alcohol and drugs, mentioning his “blackouts”. More texts here, and here. Texts show Depp referring to his addiction as the “Monster”, even to Elton John who was helping him with his sobriety. 

An audio shows Depp telling Heard he will never get clean or sober.  Amber can be heard crying. Another audio shows Heard crying and saying, “All the coke you’ve done today, and all the booze you’ve drunk today, has it helped us?”

PREVIOUS LIBEL CASE:

As stated, the previous judge ruled Heard has proven 12 out of 14 incidents of abuse.

“For all of these reasons I accept that the Defendants have shown that the words they published were substantially true in the meanings I have held them to bear. The Claimant has not succeeded in his action for libel.” (2020)

Depp’s previous lawyer, Adam Waldman was accused of dishonesty, and was thrown off the case for leaking confidential information to the press and social media which was protected via court order. 

Depp’s team was accused of using bots to influence opinion of social media.  Bot Sentinel, a group that uses artificial intelligence to detect and track troll bots & suspect Twitter accounts, found the actress “had been a victim of an ongoing targeted harassment and smear campaign”. 

(Waldman is a long-time US lobbyist for Russian oligarchs.) 

OTHER OPINIONS/LINKS:

Depp in texts talking about wanting to cause “global humiliation” for Heard.

Depp defending Roman Polanski: “Roman is not a predator. He’s 75 or 76 years old. He has got two beautiful kids, he has got a wife that he has been with for a long, long time. He is not out on the street.”

Depp is close friends with Marilyn Manson, who has his own abuse allegations against him, and who is also suing his victims for defamation. 

PREV. LEGAL ISSUES & CAREER:

Depp was arrested in 1989 for assaulting a security guard after the police were called to end a loud party at his hotel room.

He was also arrested in New York City in 1994 after damaging a hotel room he was staying in with Kate Moss.

Depp brawling with the paparazzi. 

In 2018, Depp assaulting crew member on the set of City of Lies.

In 2018, two of Depp’s former bodyguards sued him for unpaid fees and unsafe working conditions. The suit was settled in 2019.

Depp was constantly late and drunk on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean. 

Depp will also supposedly receive his full salary for the third Fantastic Beasts movie, despite filming only one scene for it and being asked to leave the project.

Texts show that Depp told Heard she was not to take roles, stating “No goddamn meetings. No movies”. 

Depp admits to getting, “irrational”, “crazy”, and “jealous” when Heard is filming.

Charges against Heard for bringing her dogs to Australia were dropped; it was a supposed mix-up with her staff being dismissed who were to do the paperwork. Heard apologised, and admitted to her wrongdoing, pleading guilty.  

Heard sought a restraining order from Depp in 2016. She also sought an order requiring Depp to attend 52 weeks of anger management courses. (page 19)

PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: 

Depp started dating Winona Ryder when she was a minor, and 17 years old to his 25 years. (Depp is 23 years older than Heard.)

Depp called his ex-wife a “French extortionist ex-cunt” and a “withering whore”. 

Heard was granted a restraining order against Depp. 

Depp was the one to originally ask Amber to settle outside of court, and the couple issued a statement that, “Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain.”

Heard’s previous girlfriend has come to Heard’s defence, saying that Heard never abused her and that the police officers who claimed it had misogynistic and homophobic attitudes once they realised Heard and her were partners.

Ellen Barkin, Depp’s ex, testified Depp threw a wine bottle at her during an argument between Depp and his assistant. (page 43)

DEPP’S JEALOUSY:

Depp has used abusive language towards Heard for her sexuality and her past relationship with women, calling her a “lesbian camp counsellor”. He was also jealous of Amber’s female ex, Tasya van Ree, calling her “Van Pee”, he also “tried to set fire to another of Ms van Ree’s paintings”.

In fact, Depp’s homophobia and jealousy didn’t stop there, he then attacked Heard’s friend, iO Tillet Wright, by misgendering him and mocking his transition, calling him a “dike bitch” and “wanting to be a man now”.

Depp also makes unfavourable comments about Heard’s relationship with Elon Musk: “But she sucked Mollusk’s [I assume a reference to Elon Musk] crooked dick”. (page 126)

He also accused her of having an affair with Billy Bob Thornton, writing about it in graffiti. (page 76)

THE CURRENT TRIAL:

The trial is a not a criminal trial, but a defamation trial. Depp is suggesting Heard ruined his reputation in her article about domestic violence, despite not naming him in it. In fact, Depp was requested to leave the project after he lost his libel case.

Depp is suing Heard for $50 million, over 7x the amount they originally settled together. Heard originally attempted to get the suit moved to California and dismissed, and only filed a counterclaim when it was refused.

Virginia has less strict anti-SLAPP laws and as a result has drawn questionable legal cases in recent years. SLAPP lawsuits are also known as intimidation lawsuits and often used to censor, intimidate and silence critics by burdening victims with the cost of legal defence until they abandon their criticism.

Depp fans are heavily affecting the way social media is reacting to the trial, by indulging in edits on social media, fabrications of events, pseudoscience.

Heard has had to hire more security. Some Depp fans have attempted to chase vehicles with Heard and her team inside as they return home from the courthouse. 

One of Depp’s witnesses (Gina Deuters) was dismissed from the stand after admitting to watching the trial online.

Depp fans were barred from the court for violent threats against Heard. Most attendees are Depp-fans and have had to have been told, “Order in the court or I will have you removed”.

CONCLUSION:

The suit is not to determine whether Heard was violent, or whether their relationship was mutually toxic, but as to whether Heard lied in her op-ed, and there is plenty of evidence of Depp physically harming Heard multiple times; regardless of Heard’s retaliation, he has been proven to be a domestic abuser.

[DISCLAIMER: This post is purely in relevance to the Heard vs. Depp case, to fact-check claims made by Depp, his team, as well as opinions on social media. They are not meant to be a remission on Heard’s part of any potential wrongdoing.]

// TERFS DON’T INTERACT //

[the-blog-of-dust]

Some sketches of my favourite header illustrations from the trilogy

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I didn’t realize some people were complaining about fairies being “overdone” but I did notice they were getting more popular... now I feel like the urban mythical creatures story I’m writing might be a little cliche or not original... any advice? Should I ditch the idea?

No. The only tropes and plot devices that should be abandoned at large are the ones that rely on bigoted ideas. Other than that, it’s not about how often it’s been done, it’s about how you do it.

Write what you want to write. There’s a reason I’ve read a hundred versions of the “same” book, and so have countless others. It’s because we enjoy them. 

My opinion is that not every story has to be ground-breaking. It just has to be good. Write a good story.

[nyctosaurid]

i cant talk shit on dr who as if i didnt get my ass handed to me by that vincent van gogh thing 9 years ago

[thexfiles]

Can we join the rewatch if we're straight?

How did you get through the x files the first time and come out a heterosexual 

[lyraandherdaemon]

the hdm fandom is about to blow up, isn't it?

[friarlucas]

one thing i hate about media is how there’s no sort of representation for how badly friendship break ups fuck you up. like there are a million and one films about romantic break ups but i have yet to see a film or television show that accurately depicts how difficult friendships falling apart can be and how that stuff can really leave you with wounds and behaviors that take ages to heal