One of the most important things I've learned to look out for when entering any sort of relationship whether it's romantic or friendship is if someone is punishing. I think anger and honesty are so important for our health and being able to say a big "fuck you" to people that hurt or wrong us is quite literally good for our mind, body, and soul...BUT I do not think punishment whether personal or social is something worth risking with someone who strongly believes in it by their own hand. I think a lot of the time it's easy to justify because you think so long as you are both moral and considerate people, then there will be no reason to fear future conflict, but I don't think that's true of people who admit they will go out of their way to get revenge when they feel it's deserved. Justification in general is subjective, so you might think an action deserves a boundary like not allowing someone into your space or life again, and for someone who is punishing that might look like turning your whole social group against you for something you disagree on how it should be handled.
And I really just think more young people in their early 20's who are learning the in's and out's of things like roommates, partnership, and even work colleagues need to understand the difference between someone who will stand up for themselves vs someone who thinks if they are wronged then it justifies anything they want to do in the aftermath if they believe they are the victim.
You actually ARE who you are when you are angry.
If you see someone you love feel betrayed or hurt and you see how quickly they go from standing up for themselves to intentionally trying to hurt someone else in their justified rage and go out of their way to witness their suffering because they feel their own judgement of what that person might deserve should be reality - just be aware that a lot of those times the judgements will be subjective and how someone treats even their enemies says something about their character at the end of the day.
Even if I am confident I am going to be a respectful person, I also know what might make sense to me could be very unjust in someone else's eyes, and the last thing I ever want to be around is someone I know will take their personal feelings or opinion and think they have the right to dictate my suffering or healing. Just being on good terms does not save you from if you end up hurting one another down the road, so you shouldn't tie yourself to people who would enjoy being cruel if they felt righteous.
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
theartofmadeline
gamechangershow
amandla
titsay
jimmyeatworldofficial
