lyssa writes fanfic

original fanfiction for the thirsty bitch in all of us + reblogs of good fanfiction, fanart, and general thirst.

[voltagescreenshots]

It’s really a bittersweet feeling for me to know that this is the last story of this character’s route. I don’t want it to end, but I’m also glad that one of my favorite characters FINALLY get an actual ending like this. I love this story and can’t wait for Hiroki’s 🥰

***[MLFK]: First Love, Forever: Makoto***

[tilly-toons]

🌷HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY🌷

Have Bkdk throughout the years! 🧡💚

These two pining idiots 🤧 they took so long!

MY TWITTER

Instagram

Support me on:

-Ko-fi

-Patreon

-Redbubble

[lyssawritesfanfic]

I dont even ship these two but FUCK I got feels from this aaaaaaghhh 😭

[lyssawritesfanfic]

lessons in love

You and Ines have been living happily together for the past year, and when one says happily, there’s truly nothing but days of bliss. Hard grueling work, but bliss nonetheless. Which is why you feel so guilty when you admit to yourself that you feel a teething, unpleasant yearning for more in your chest. Stupid, childish girl! What more could you possibly want! Every day you and Ines work hard together to achieve your goal of making the Depths a better place, and every night he holds you in his strong, muscular arms as you both drift to dreamland. However simple, every meal you eat is delicious and filling. However difficult, every day is rewarding in its own way. So why? Why are you so... lonely? You don’t like that word, but it’s the closest thing to a definition you can think of right now. This morning, as every morning, you woke to find Ines facing away, his broad back to you instead of his lovely face. You used to not mind, but for some reason it fills you with sadness now. Is is that you want him to keep holding you? The thought fills you with warmth that’s not unpleasant, but incredibly unfamiliar. You suppose that since you were indoctrinated into a world where love wasn’t legal and the concept didn’t even exist to you that there may be something you’re missing. It’s possible that even Ines doesn’t know. But the thought that you’re making him anything less than joyful makes your heart hurt. Is he unsatisfied? Is that why he’s turned away when you wake? Are you making him feel lonely? Or perhaps he only holds you out of a feeling of obligation now that you’re living together. Oh god... what if? You try to banish the idea from your mind but all throughout the day it gnaws at you like a wolf savoring the flesh of its prey. What if you’re just a burden?

“Hey, are you okay?” Ines’s voice snaps you from yourself as you meet in the hallway at Hound’s headquarters. “Yes! I’m fine!” you do your best to plaster a smile on your face but you know Ines will be hard to convince otherwise. “Hm... you don’t look fine. Are you eating enough?” “I can’t not when I live with you.” Despite your statement he brings you closer, clinically running two fingers over your hip bone. You do everything in your power to suppress the gasp that threatens to escape as he does. When he pulls his hand away, you feel that familiar ache of loneliness that’s been plaguing you. “Well, you’re not emaciated, but it couldn’t hurt for you to eat a bit more.” Ines smiles warmly. “I’ll cook a little extra tonight.” He’s looking at you so fondly but you can’t help the feeling of guilt bubbling up inside you. Again, he does something solely for you sake at the expense of his own time and energy. But what was that just now? That involuntary gasp you had to stifle? That feeling of satisfaction when he touched you and loss when he stopped. You’ve always enjoyed the feel of Ines’s touch, but this was... different. Hm. Maybe Adage will be of some help. He is a doctor, after all. “Um, you know what? Maybe I am feeling a bit under the weather. Is it alright if I go see Adage now to make sure everything’s okay?” “Absolutely. You’re no good to anyone if you’re unwell. Do you need me to go with you?” “No! No, definitely not! I mean... um... we can’t have the two top brass abandon fort at the same time.” “Hm, I suppose you’re right. That would be setting a bad example, but...” Ines leans in close. “I do get a little irrational around you.” His hot breath tickles your ear and sends another blissful shiver down your spine. Yeah, this definitely can’t be normal. You really need to see a doctor. “O-okay! I’ll, uh, see you at home later!” It’s all you can manage to blurt out before quickly turning and running away to hide your crimson cheeks. And maybe it’s your imagination, but you swear you can hear Ines sigh sadly as you leave. xxx As you knock on Adage’s door the anxiety only gets stronger. What if this is an illness and you end up being even more of a burden than before? “What?” “Um, Adage... I think I might be very, very sick.” “You must be. You’re not the type to seek help. Sit.” You obey the doctor’s instructions and sit on the exam table as he checks your temperature, peers down your throat, and tests your reflexes. “You’re fine. Why do you think you’re sick?” “Then I guess there must be something wrong with my brain.” “Explain.” “Well, I feel really unhappy and lonely even though I have no reason to be. It’s the worst when Ines touches me and suddenly stops. Like... he touched my hip today and I suddenly felt so hot and feverish, but it also felt good? And then when he took his hand away it was almost... painful? It’s very unsettling, and I--” “Wait, hold on.” Adage crosses his arms, a very grave and serious look washing over his face. “Are you telling me that you and Ines haven’t ever fucked?” “What’s fuck?” “Doing ‘it’. Sexual intercourse. Sleeping together.” “We sleep together every night.” “Clothes on?” “Why wouldn’t they be?” His eyes widen in shock, then he bursts into laughter. Uncontrollable fits of giggles and wheezing. “Wow, I knew that man was patient but to think you’ve kept him waiting THAT long! Ha!” “Hey, I’m really concerned, you know. Can you just tell me what’s wrong with me?” “Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re just horny.” “What’s horny?” “Ask Ines.” Adage has a devilish grin on his face which makes you question his advice, but you realize you’re going to have to tell Ines soon enough. You give a frustrated sigh. “Augh, fine.” “Can’t wait to hear how this turns out.” xxx By the time you get home, you’re greeted to the inviting smell of omelets. Ines turns as you come in, a smile spreading across his face. “Oh, you’re back just in time! I made your favorite, sit down.” For some reason you feel extremely timid and just stand in the doorframe for a moment, then make your way to the table. This doesn’t escape Ines’s notice. “Hey... is-is everything okay?” Ines places a plate of omelet in front of you before sitting next to you, looking at you with incredible concern. He takes your hand in his and runs his fingers over your knuckles. “I...” You make to pull your hand away but he holds it tight, refusing to let you go. “Please... just talk to me...” You hear sadness and fear in his voice, and as you look up at him you can see his eyes are heavy with worry. Shit, you can’t keep him like this. Out with it already! “Um, so... I talked to Adage...” “And? Is... is everything okay?” You take a deep breath, steeling yourself. “Ines, what’s ‘horny’?” His eyes narrow dangerously. “What did Adage talk to you about? Tell me everything he said. Why did you discuss something like that?” “Well when I went to him and told him everything that I felt was wrong with me, he started laughing about how we always sleep with our clothes on and haven’t ever... the word he used was ‘fucked’? And then he said there was nothing wrong with me, I was just horny. He wouldn’t tell me what it meant though and told me to ask you.” “That bastard...” “What’s wrong?” For some reason, his face is flushed a shade of scarlet you haven’t ever seen. It’s... adorable. It makes you want to kiss him for a very long time. Weird. Well, you always want to kiss him, but... what was that just now? “He also said that you were too patient. Is there something I should know?” “Well...” Ines can’t meet your gaze and now it’s your turn to be concerned. “Ines, please tell me. What is--” “Don’t! Don’t... say it again...” “I need to know what’s wrong with me! Please, Ines!” You feel tears threaten to well up in your eyes. Is there something so wrong with you that it can’t even be said aloud? “God... you’re just... too cute...” “Huh?” In the blink of an eye, you find yourself pinned to the floor, Ines’s mouth on yours, kissing you fiercer than he ever has before. His tongue pushes past your lips and tangles with yours, his fingers curling around your hair as he holds you tight to him. You feel something stiff through his pants pressing against you and... why do you desperately want whatever that is? You manage to grab hold of his face and pull him away from you. He’s panting a bit, cheeks beyond red. “W-what was that? What does that have to do with--” “Everything.” He cuts you off and kisses you again, stroking his fingers down your collarbone. You instinctively gasp as you feel that delightful shiver again. “Tell me exactly what you said to Adage...” he whispers in your ear. “I’m going to cure you of your ailment while you do. I think you’ll come to understand that way.” “Oh... okay. Well, I--” Ines nips at the patch of skin beneath your earlobe, dancing the tip of his tongue across. Your back arches in inexplicable pleasure, a soft girlish cry escaping you. You feel his hot breath as he chuckles almost devilishly. “Go on... tell me.” “I... I told him how lately I’ve been... feeling a bit... lonely.” “Even with me here?” his voice is low and husky, his teeth dragging down to your collarbone. Your body writhes beneath his but he pins your hands down by the wrists. For some reason, though, even restrained like this, you don’t mind it. In fact, it’s... absolutely exhilarating. “Ah..! Y-yes...” “What exactly is it that makes you feel lonely, then?” His kisses slowly and gently trail to your chest. They turn into bites, then he sucks, rolling his tongue across the newly forming welt. “Ha...! I... I don’t... know! I just... feel lonely when you stop... touching me...” “And when I touch you?” he continues to leave small marks just above the neckline of your shirt. “I... I feel... so good.” “And when I stop?” Ines pulls his body off of yours, moving to sit up properly next to you. “No...! Please don’t...” you feel yourself breathless and the horrible ache of loneliness returns. You reach up to grab at his shirt but he deftly dodges you. “Tell me. How do you feel when I stop?” A pathetic whine escapes your mouth. You feel a hunger inside of you that has nothing to do with the nearby omelets. “I feel like... I need you to keep touching me.” Ines takes your hand in his. “Like this?” You shake your head. “I like that but... no... the way you were before...” He sighs and chuckles, then positions himself over you again, looking deep into your eyes. “Sometimes I forget how young you are... How much you don’t know... How much you still have to learn...” He brings his palm between your legs, cupping the place that’s somehow giving off immense heat even through your clothes. Almost on instinct your hips rise up; you want more of that. That right there. That’s what you need. “Don’t worry, darling. I’ll teach you.” His lips meet yours in a soft, fleeting kiss, then he once again holds your wrists in place, trailing kisses down your neck, your chest, until he stops at your nipple. He flicks his tongue across it and again you writhe beneath him, yet strong you may be, you’re no match for him. Your hips buck upwards and you cry out in pleasure. “Lesson one... lovers can do much more than kiss... and most of them do.” “A-ah...! So... so have I been... bad?” He looks up at you, tightening his grip on your wrists. “Why, do you want me to punish you?” Ines takes your nipple into his mouth, sucking now, a wave of euphoria crashing on you. “Because I can, you know... I can punish you in the sweetest way... I can give you...” he bites down now and you cry out in an overwhelming intoxicating mixture of pleasure and pain. “...everything I’ve been wanting to give you for the past year...” he bites down harder. “Ha...!” “I can give you all that right now. Make up for a year’s worth of loneliness... a year’s worth of longing...” he removes his teeth and sucks gently now, reverently. “Would you like that, darling?” “P-please... I don’t want to ever feel lonely again... I want you to keep touching me.” “Mmf... damn...” you feel Ines shudder in the same way you did earlier. “How do you manage to be so adorable?” he whispers as he moves to your other breast, teasing that nipple with calculated flicks of his tongue. “Ah...! Oh god...!” His grip on your wrists tightens even more and you can feel sweet bruises forming in the shape of his fingerprints, and for some reason, the thought of wearing his touch like that sparks something needy in you, heat rising down to your pelvis in a shocking crash. “Lesson two...” he murmurs as he makes his way down to your navel. God, yes... so close... so close to where I... “Drawing it out for as long as possible makes it that much more fun.” he teasingly licks your waistline above your pants, then comes back up to leave another bite at your ribcage. And while you trust him implicitly, your legs cross and squirm in a desperate attempt to be touched there again. “I-Ines! Please...! I want--” “Oh no no, darling... you said you’d have me give you a year’s worth... unless you wish for me to stop?” “N-no!” “Then I intend on savoring you.” His eyes are filled with such love and gentleness that betray his cool words. “I intend on making sure you fully understand everything.” “Y-yes... teach me...” “Mm... I have many things I’d like to teach you.” Ines then gently removes your pants and panties, leaving you completely exposed beneath him. You... why aren’t you embarrassed? Why aren’t you feeling the need to cover yourself in shame at your nakedness? And why is it that all you can think about is how badly you want him to be in the same state? You don’t have to worry about that for long, however, as he himself removes the last of his clothes, leaning down and kissing you deeply. “You must forgive me... I’ve been yearning for you for so long that I’ve left you feeling lonely. It was getting so difficult to sleep beside you and hide my longing...” Proof of his arousal rubs up against your thigh. “This is what happens to a man when he wants to make love... very obvious, no? Hard to hide. I didn’t want... to pressure you, so I turned away each night.” You see a semblance of guilt in his eyes as he says that, softly stroking your cheek, wiping a burgeoning happy tear from the corner of your eye. “Never again, though. I’ll never let you feel lonely again. I should have spoken to you about it instead of waiting for it to be so bad you decided to consult Adage...” he kisses you again and again, possessively, and you hungrily pull his tongue into your mouth. God, you’re so glad. You’re so happy. You weren’t a burden. You weren’t even ill! You were just a lovesick fool who didn’t understand. But now you have Ines to teach you. His hand trails down to your crotch, parting the lips there. You’re soaking wet, somehow. “Lesson three... this is what happens to a woman when she wants to be made love to.” He shows his fingers to you, slick with your juices. “It seems someone has been wanting me, too.” He licks away your wetness before bringing them back down, his index finger teasing your opening. “Oh god! Oh my god...!” your legs quake at his touch, knowing immediately that this, this exact touch, is what you’ve been craving. Ines smirks. “Oh darling... you’re so sensitive. Will you even be able to handle the real thing?” “W-what? That... that isn’t the real thing? And it feels that good?” “Mm... I wanted to draw this out but you’re making it... impossible for me to resist you...” He positions himself above you. “L-lesson four...” his voice trembles a bit in an attempt to maintain composure. “This lesson... will be a question I want you to answer...” His shaft pokes at your entrance, an aching tease. “Why do you think our bodies are designed to be like this... when we wish to make love?” “D-does... is that... do you go inside... of me?” “Correct.” He strokes your face gently, smiling warmly at you, and with that, he slams inside of you, burying himself all the way to the base, and you both let out gasps of utter bliss. “Oh my god! Ohhhh...!” you let out a loud moan of ecstasy as he fills you. “Shh... I don’t want anyone else to hear the noises you make just for me...” He silences you with a kiss, cradling your face as he slowly moves his hips against you. You grab his arms and memorize the curvature of his muscles, your tongue twisting with his. Ines brings his arms around your back, then slowly lifts you up, careful not to break the contact between you, until you’re sitting on his lap, face to face with him. “Oh, you’re so beautiful, you know...” “Nng...” You can’t even respond, all you can do is bite your lip in an attempt to hold back your sobs of euphoria. His hands make their way to your hips and he bounces you up and down on him, each time he lowers you a girlish squeal escaping you. “Ho... god... I’ve been wanting you so bad...” He buries his face in your chest, lapping at your sweat-slicked skin, tasting every inch of you he can reach. You tangle your fingers in his hair, clenching and unclenching, hardly able to control your own movements as your body spasms in unparalleled ecstasy. You move your hips against his, pushing him even deeper into you, shivering as you do. Ines shudders similarly, letting a low growl out against you. “Sh-shit... I didn’t... want to finish this so soon but... I...” his voice is husky and ragged. He looks up at you, eyes clouded over with both lust and love. Something deep within you threatens to erupt, about to release something you’ve never experienced before. “Ah...! Ines... I... I feel like... I’m going to explode...!” “Nngg... f-fuck...” He quickens his pace, nails digging into your ass as he relentlessly moves you up and down on him. You feel your body break apart in euphoric electricity and you let out a loud cry that you could no way possibly suppress as you feel his seed shoot up within you. You collapse onto him, your body spent and ragged. “Oh... oh god... that was... amazing, Ines...” “Heh... yeah.” You look down at him, his brow wet with sweat, and you kiss him. He’s such a good man. He waited patiently for so long for something this good? You can’t even begin to imagine. “ines?” “What is it?” “Thank you for teaching me.” He kisses you fiercely and you feel him begin to harden again inside you. “Oh, honey... you keep saying things like that and I’ll never be able to let you go.” “Then don’t. Don’t let me go.” You kiss him back, gently rocking your hips against his once again, and you spend the rest of the evening and well into morning learning and discovering every inch of each other.

[saltyneo-hakuouki]

Please someone take photoshop away from me

[saltyneo-hakuouki]

Sorry about that but nevermindw

Asking the boys : DO YOU MASTURBATE ?

[impracticaldemon]

Happy Haku Valentine’s Day!

~ Imp

[saltyneo-hakuouki]

These are so perfect

[lyssawritesfanfic]

the touch i’ve desired

It’s a simultaneously awkward and comfortable silence as the two of you walk home from the flower meadow. Your fingers go back and forth between delicately touching his to having your entire palm covered by his rough, calloused hands. You both continue to steal glances at each other, but whenever your eyes meet, both of you can do nothing but blush and conspicuously look away. However, it’s not unpleasant. There’s something warm and very you about the artless silence you share, almost as if this lack of interpersonal expertise is something you both can relish in. And it’s something that you can relish in for the rest of your lives. After all, Abraham Van Helsing, former vampire hunter and portrait of cool, ruthless calculations, has just asked you to marry him. Well, perhaps it was more of a demand. But it wasn’t a demand you had any intention of refusing. In fact, what he demanded was what your heart most deeply desires. As the thought runs through your head and you walk through the door of the home you’ve made together, you hold his hand tighter, look at him, and smile. Finally meeting your gaze, some of the worried creases around his eyes soften as he smiles back. But you notice that they aren’t all gone.

“Van Helsing... is there something wrong?” “No. Quite the opposite, in fact. I’m... honestly so pleased that I don’t even know what to do with myself,” he says as he closes the door behind him, still holding onto your hand. You search his face and know that he is telling the truth, but there’s somehow still traces of... anxiety, perhaps? “I’m not sure I understand.” He gives a signature self-loathing smile. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. You’re far too pure...” He gently reaches his ungloved hand out to cradle your cheek, and you lean into his touch. You love the feel of his hands on your skin. It’s the feeling you love and crave more than anything in the world. You never thought you’d be able to touch anything ever in your life, you had resigned yourself to that, and now... perhaps you’ve gotten greedy. You close your eyes. As you feel his fingers leave your face, before you even realize it, grab his hand to keep it there. “Please... I want you to keep touching me.” You feel a shiver through his hands and as you open your eyes, his face is fully flushed. “You’re going to give me the wrong idea if you keep saying things like that, you know.” “Hm? What do you mean? I’m simply telling the truth.” “Is that so...” He trails his thumb over your lips and it’s your turn to shiver. For some reason it sends some sort of dull, pleasurable electric shock through your body. You instinctually kiss his finger, but it’s... different somehow. Your kisses up until now have been deep, yes, but still somewhat chaste. “Shall I continue to touch you, then?” his eyes are hazy. His cool gaze has gone hot. “Or rather... can... can I please continue to touch you?” All you can manage to do is nod as he closes the distance, holding your cheeks with both of his hands now and pulling you into a deep kiss. His lips part and yours follow when you feel his tongue gently slip into your mouth. Any tension you may have felt in your body melts. You’re putty in his hands. A quiet moan escapes you as Van Helsing pushes his body towards you. You’re forced to step back a few paces to keep from falling until you find your back to the wall, never once breaking the kiss. One of his hands falls down your neck and lands at your collarbone, sadly covered by your shirt. You miss the feel of his skin on yours. “You... you said you’d keep touching me.” Your breathing is surprisingly heavy. Van Helsing smirks. “Is that what you want, beloved?” “Y-yes... please.” You try to bring his hand back up to your neck, but instead you feel the buttons of your blouse begin to fall away, his hand sliding inside to find your bare skin. If you melted before, you’re melting even more now. You’ve felt the touch of another on your chest before in a clinical manner, but who knew it could feel so amazing? “May I?” “Mmhmm...” He leans back in and places soft, wet kisses on the nape of your neck. Your arms almost of their own volition wrap around his broad, muscular back and hold him closer, gasping for breath. Your reaction urges him on and he completely frees you from your shirt. He kisses farther down now, stopping at your chest, and you’re suddenly acutely aware of the array of gems embedded in your flesh. Before you have time to become self-conscious though, he gently brings his lips to each fragment, kissing them reverently. “You are so beautiful, you know. Every part of you.” He continues kissing down until he reaches your breast. He teases your nipple with his tongue and you cry out a little louder in pleasure, your leg instinctually wrapping around his waist and pulling him even closer. He pulls it into his mouth now, sucking and playfully flicking his tongue back and forth. “A-ah!” He pulls away momentarily. “Do you not like this?” his hot breath tickles your wet skin, sending shivers through your body. “N-no... quite the opposite...” you repeat his earlier words back to him. He holds that nipple between his fingers, coaxing another cry out of you. “My beloved has such a lovely voice for me. I wonder how loud I can make you sing.” He showers attention on the other nipple with his mouth in the same way, yet massaging your other breast all the while. You writhe against his touch but he holds you tight, offering no escape from the overwhelming sensations shooting through you. He now continues lower, kissing and trailing his tongue down your torso while he undoes your pants, pulling them to the floor as he himself sinks down. He stops right below your navel, nipping and kissing, eliciting more uncontrollable squeals from you. But then... he brings his mouth even lower, spreading your legs, and lapping at your parted lips that are inexplicably soaking wet. His tongue enters you and your body quakes. “Ha-aaah...! V-v-van...!” “Ah, yes... cry for me, beloved.” Even if you wanted to remain quiet there’s no way that you could. He pulls your pants off of your feet now, leaving you completely naked at his mercy. And he has no mercy, relentlessly assaulting your senses with previously unimaginable pleasure. You grip his shoulders, fingers digging in, and you feel something rising within you. Something screaming for release. It’s almost painful how good it feels. “V-van...! I...! I’m...” He slides a finger inside you and you come completely undone, your voice reaching places you never thought possible, your legs spasming, threatening to give out, but Van Helsing holds you firmly as you climax, drinking up your juices as if he has been trapped in a desert unable to quench his thirst for decades. And yet he hardly offers a moment of reprieve, standing back up to his full height and biting at your ear. Everything is... so intense... you could pass out from the ecstasy. Your moans are wanton and ragged. You can hear him urgently tossing his own clothes aside, then you feel his bare chest flush against yours, his hard cock pressing against where his mouth just left. “I... I wanted just to give you the pleasure of touch today... and afford none for myself... but... Apologies. I don’t think I can do that. I can no longer hold myself back from you.” “Th-then don’t...” Your hand cups his cheek tenderly as you look into his eyes. Van Helsing... I thought we’d been over this... Allow yourself the happiness you wish for me... You can’t say it with words, you’re much too out of breath, but you hope your eyes can say what your voice currently cannot. He answers wordlessly by plunging himself deep inside you, causing you to cry out once more. He then hooks his arms around your legs, bringing you completely off the ground, pumping hard and fast inside of you. “Ah...! B-be careful!” “Heh... don’t worry... I... won’t drop you...” He’s smirking but the strain in his voice betrays his cool words. He’s not burdened by your weight, but you know that in this moment he has never felt such bliss either. He works your body, pounding you relentlessly, bouncing you up and down on him.  You feel that heat rise again in you, but before it reaches its peak, he slows his pace. His strokes turn from hard and fast to slow and earth-shattering. Your back slams against the wall with each one, reverberating through the mansion, and each time you scream for him. “Nng... yes... cry louder for me...” Your wails increase in intensity as he growls his command, not because he wishes it, but because you can’t help but grow louder and louder with each of his excruciatingly blissful thrusts. You reach the edge once again, but this time he speeds up, his fingertips digging into your rear. In a blinding flash of ecstasy, you’re both completely spent, and you feel his own proof of that shooting up inside you. Through labored ragged breaths, you finally meet each others’ gaze. He gently lets you down and kisses your forehead, then your nose, then your lips, sliding out of you. “I... I’m so glad I can finally touch you like this...” he whispers. “Yes... so am I. Will you...” you pause. Is this something you’re supposed to say at a time like this? “Will I what?” there’s a touch of concern in his voice. “Will you... continue touching me like this? In the future? I don’t believe I can handle more now, but...” And then Van Helsing does something you’re unsure you’ve ever seen him do. He laughs. A full, whole-body laugh. “Haha, yes! Yes, beloved. I will touch you like this whenever you desire it. Should I be asleep, eating, on an important work errand... whenever you wish to be touched, all you need to do is ask. And I will touch you for as long as you wish. It would be my greatest joy to do that for you.” His hand comes back to your cheek, your foreheads pressed against each other, and you see the warmest smile he’s ever had spread across his face. You can’t help but blush.  “Thank you, Van Helsing. I love you. Let’s keep touching each other... for the rest of our lives.”

[otomeobsessions]

WHY CAN’T I MARRY YOU???? LET MY MC HAVE YOUR BABIESSSSS!!!1

[eltcreed]

I made memes tonight

take my tablet and this game away from me I beg you

[lollia-tea]

whoever wrote Orlok's tragic end in piofiore fated memories needs to square up because i Will be fighting you in the denny's parking lot at 3 am for making me sob like a baby (งಥдಥ)ง

[otome-life]

She has a fleur-de-lis with perfectly straight lines and is just like "ah! A birthmark!"

[lyssawritesfanfic]

Yang: What's up, guys? I'm back.

Dante/Lee/Gilbert: What the - you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.

Yang: Death is a social construct.

[iflifewereasimdate]

[copperhearts]

Liliana: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Yang: That's why I carry two swords.

[danganronpa-out-of-context]

[amaraqwolf]

Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.

[curlicuecal]

I’m an ant biologist and I’d like to point out that ants also spend a significant percentage of the time doing nothing.

Turns out sometimes the most evolutionary useful thing you can do is chill and not wear yourself to shreds, whether mammal or insect. It helps you deal with emergencies and adapt to change. Plus, you can act as living food storage!

That last part is probably more an ant thing than a human thing, but hey, live your dreams.

[jumpingjacktrash]

it’s also a bear thing, which absolutely explains me

[gallusrostromegalus]

Doing absolutely fuck-all is how antarctic sea sponges live to be over 10,000 years old, so live your best, longest, laziest life.

[fuckingconversations]

Remember lions? Fellow apex predators?

Yeah, they spend 16-20 hours of the day laying around, socializing, raising Cubs and napping.

The last 4-8 hours are spent hunting.

Wait wait, they’re not a primate so they don’t count.

How about Orangutans?

Well, they spend 90% of their time awake just hanging out in food-rich areas, eating fruit and leaves, socializing, raising children, and chilling.

Well, they’re not people so it doesn’t-

How about Stone Age people in Europe?

They probably worked 3-5 hours per day, every day. (Though seasonal changes in food scarcity could change that)

Laborers in ancient Egypt worked 8 hours, with an hour break at lunch. They did this for 8 days, then rested 2 days. That sounds familiar. Except… they also had regular time off for festivals and holidays, and only worked for about 18 out of every 50 days.

Artisans in imperial Rome generally worked from 6am to Noon, and then had the rest of the day off… and only worked for half the year, due to all the holidays and festivals they got off.

But that’s too easy, what about a Peasant in medieval England?

6-8 hours per day, with Sundays off, Farm workers put in longer hours at harvest time but worked shorter days in winter when there are fewer hours of daylight. Economist Juliet Schor estimates that in the period following the Plague they worked no more than 150 days a year, due to the long holidays and many festivals.

Ugh, let’s go poorer. 17th century France. Starvation was afoot for the working poor!

During the reign of King Louis XIV, the workers of France had it tough, and hunger for the poorest was a fact of life. The typical working day was as much as 12 hours long, but two hours were set aside midday for lunch and perhaps an afternoon nap. Nevertheless, the Ancient Régime is said to have also guaranteed peasants, labourers and other workers a total of 52 Sundays, 90 rest days and 38 religious holidays off per year, meaning they worked just 185 out of 365 days.

So what changed?

The industrial revolution, baybe~~

New factory owners could work their employees to the bone due to a lack of regulation and abundance of cheap labour.

The typical factory worker in mid 19th-century England toiled away for a soul-destroying 16 hours a day, six days a week, 311 days per year!

THAT nightmare became the standard by which western society began to judge “work-life balance” and anything gentler than the industrial factory’s unfettered brutality is considered “softness”

(So many people died being mangled in those machines. Hair handkerchiefs went into style during American industrialization because working women would otherwise get their hair caught in the machines, and be either scalped or be bodily pulled inside to die…. But that’s a horror for another time)

Americans in 2020 worked an average of 8.5 hours per day on weekdays, plus another 5 hours on weekends.

Taking out federal holidays and weekends, we work 262 days per year. Most of us get 5-9 sick days to take per year. (Yes, a fixed number, no matter how sick you really are), and usually either no paid vacation, or 7-15 days paid vacation, depending on seniority and the company. Unpaid vacation doesn’t have a max, but taking it often risks you getting fired.

Even comparing against the poorest laborers in ancient history the current working structure for humans is, frankly, inhumane.

We are mammals. Let us rest. Let us celebrate holidays and attend festivals. Let us attend to our homes and families.

Even the ultra wealthy folks who got their heads chopped off gave us more time off than this!!!

Someone in the comments said something like “humans are instinctively industrious and productive, as social creatures!”

Buddy, that’s a lie fed to you by capitalism.

In our default state, we attend to our families yes, but we also party like hell, lounge around, and make fantastic works of art just to be proud of ourselves. We made beautiful things for the joy of creating them.

Stone Age humans may have spent a couple hours hunting and gathering, but DEFINITELY spent loads of time painting every available surface. Time and weather washed most of it away, but some places like Arizona and Colorado still preserve a few of the endless murals made by ancient hands.

Evidence shows that the ancient world was COVERED in paintings and etchings - just saturated with images of birds and beasts and humans, sunsets and cool weather. We invented mythologies and painted about them. We did something impressive, and painted about it. We taught our children how to paint and lifted them into our shoulders so they could mark the ceiling.

In our most base state, humans will work enough to survive, but our instincts demand we use all other time to create art. We want to communicate. To make connections.

“Working” or “being productive” is not on that list.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[leopikah-remade-deactivated2020]

[liamnotpayne]

[surprisebitch]

FULL CIRCLE