Piles Of Laura @m3lencholia - Tumblr Blog

There’s an alternate reality where today would be your wedding day if you didn’t break up with your ex or you went to your second choice school. There’s a life out there that you could’ve had where you live in a beach town or you married your high school sweetheart or you’re a professional horse rider. The point is, there are so many different directions our lives could have gone, depending on where our parents decided to raise us or what school we went to or what sport we signed up for in second grade. So it makes absolutely no sense for us to get upset about things that could’ve happened but didn’t or people we lost, because literally anything could’ve happened. We just don’t always realize the extent of amazing things that could’ve/ could eventually happen to us so when we get a peek into a future we want and it seems possible, we obsess when we lose it. There are tons of lives that we don’t have, we can’t possibly cry over all of them. Instead we have to appreciate the one we do have and the endless possible futures in front of us.

love

The Notebook (2004)

Some things I’ve learned in counselling.

Hey pals! A while back I told you guys that I was starting counselling, and asked if you’d like me to pass along some advice/tools for folks who don’t have access to therapy! I’ve had three sessions now, and the following are some things that Beth (my counselor) has given me.**

RE: UNDERSTANDING ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

As someone with both anxiety and depression, I often find that my head is a mess of swirling thoughts that won’t leave me alone. This can be very difficult to sort through in order to get to a place of calm, but Beth helped break things down and help me understand my own disordered thinking.

She said that anxiety has you looking forward (filling your brain with buzzing “what ifs” and worries about other people and their perceptions of you), while depression has you looking backward (filling your brain with a fog of regrets and anger/exhaustion directed at yourself).

Effectively, this means that folks with both anxiety and depression have a very difficult time simply being present. This can make it difficult to find joy in life, and can lead to difficulty taking care of yourself (it’s hard to care about eating/drinking/showering if your thoughts are on the past and the future).

RE: COMBATING BUSY, ANXIOUS/DEPRESSED THOUGHTS

To help live in the present, Beth suggested meditation. HOWEVER, understanding that meditation can be daunting and time-consuming, she gave me a specific exercise to help find calm. I can’t remember what she called it, but essentially: if you find yourself in the above described situation, it can be helpful to take a moment and really focus on what you are doing. If you’re brushing your teeth, try to shake off the swirling anxious/depressed thoughts for just a moment, and focus on the taste of the toothpaste, your face in the mirror, the ground under your feet.

When I can feel my thoughts spiraling, I have found this technique useful for reminding me that, in fact, nothing is actually wrong right now. I am safe, and whatever is making me anxious/upset is not physically present and can be overcome if I take care of myself.

Beth also said that distracting anxiety with productivity (this can be creative e.g. painting, or physical e.g. cleaning, or mental e.g. homework) is a healthy way of pushing away anxious thoughts for a while without leaning too heavily on escapism.

RE: STARTING TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF

Today, Beth gave me a tool which (if I can stick to), I think will really help me understand myself, and look at the things that make me depressed or anxious objectively enough to either dismiss them or address them head-on.

It is a well-known tool that creative writers use called “Morning Pages”. Every morning, the first thing you do (other than physical self-care) is sit down and write three full pages. The idea is to write your stream of consciousness. This can be ideas, worries, dreams, stories, passing thoughts, plans for the day…

Beth said that after a while, as I look back on my unfiltered thoughts, I may be able to distill and group certain thought patterns into specific issues that can then be dealt with.

Basically, “Morning Pages” is just a way to sort through tangled thoughts, slowly and through the productive act of writing.

**Please remember that all of this is coming from conversations between me and my therapist; it may not apply to everyone, and it may contain different ways of thinking about certain issues than you are used to. If you disagree with something here, I’d rather not hear it, since these things work for me.

vagueenthusiast

Some things I’ve learned in counselling.

Hey pals! A while back I told you guys that I was starting counselling, and asked if you’d like me to pass along some advice/tools for folks who don’t have access to therapy! I’ve had three sessions now, and the following are some things that Beth (my counselor) has given me.**

RE: UNDERSTANDING ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

As someone with both anxiety and depression, I often find that my head is a mess of swirling thoughts that won’t leave me alone. This can be very difficult to sort through in order to get to a place of calm, but Beth helped break things down and help me understand my own disordered thinking.

She said that anxiety has you looking forward (filling your brain with buzzing “what ifs” and worries about other people and their perceptions of you), while depression has you looking backward (filling your brain with a fog of regrets and anger/exhaustion directed at yourself).

Effectively, this means that folks with both anxiety and depression have a very difficult time simply being present. This can make it difficult to find joy in life, and can lead to difficulty taking care of yourself (it’s hard to care about eating/drinking/showering if your thoughts are on the past and the future).

RE: COMBATING BUSY, ANXIOUS/DEPRESSED THOUGHTS

To help live in the present, Beth suggested meditation. HOWEVER, understanding that meditation can be daunting and time-consuming, she gave me a specific exercise to help find calm. I can’t remember what she called it, but essentially: if you find yourself in the above described situation, it can be helpful to take a moment and really focus on what you are doing. If you’re brushing your teeth, try to shake off the swirling anxious/depressed thoughts for just a moment, and focus on the taste of the toothpaste, your face in the mirror, the ground under your feet.

When I can feel my thoughts spiraling, I have found this technique useful for reminding me that, in fact, nothing is actually wrong right now. I am safe, and whatever is making me anxious/upset is not physically present and can be overcome if I take care of myself.

Beth also said that distracting anxiety with productivity (this can be creative e.g. painting, or physical e.g. cleaning, or mental e.g. homework) is a healthy way of pushing away anxious thoughts for a while without leaning too heavily on escapism.

RE: STARTING TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF

Today, Beth gave me a tool which (if I can stick to), I think will really help me understand myself, and look at the things that make me depressed or anxious objectively enough to either dismiss them or address them head-on.

It is a well-known tool that creative writers use called “Morning Pages”. Every morning, the first thing you do (other than physical self-care) is sit down and write three full pages. The idea is to write your stream of consciousness. This can be ideas, worries, dreams, stories, passing thoughts, plans for the day…

Beth said that after a while, as I look back on my unfiltered thoughts, I may be able to distill and group certain thought patterns into specific issues that can then be dealt with.

Basically, “Morning Pages” is just a way to sort through tangled thoughts, slowly and through the productive act of writing.

**Please remember that all of this is coming from conversations between me and my therapist; it may not apply to everyone, and it may contain different ways of thinking about certain issues than you are used to. If you disagree with something here, I’d rather not hear it, since these things work for me.