Originally started off as a quick writing prompt but I got too invested. Friends to lovers, slight miscommunication & wlw for your pleasure π
Summary of Part One: A girl is in love with her best friend but is afraid of confessing. They visit the very place where she failed to confess a year prior.
Word Count: 1.6k
Characters: Priya (original femme character) x Ciel (original femme character)
POV: First-person, Priya
Content Warning: Implied alcoholism
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My best friend Ciel always jokes about how utterly clueless I can be when it comes to knowing if someone's into me or not. For example, I was gifted a bouquet of flowers by a guy in my research class and earnestly believed it was a token of appreciation for all the times I helped him with his homework. I could practically hear her face-palming over the phone when I excitedly brought up the "super platonic gift" to her. Unsurprisingly, she still teases me about that to this day.
She is the only person in my life that I let get away with that kind of teasing, but it's because she's been with me through thick and thin. Hell, I know that we can practically tell each other anything that's on our minds because weβd still be friends.
Well, thereβs just one thing I canβt tell herβIβm in love with her.
However, I could not have predicted that I would have to return to that place again, let alone at Cielβs request. I was reeling from a hangover when I got her text, and while it could have been the alcohol, I swore that the room began to spin at a dizzying rate. After that day, I made a conscious choice not to go back to that placeβeven the thought of it makes my head poundβbut it seems as though everything that Iβve tried to repress is surfacing to the light.
I shakily replied with a simple βyesβ as my stomach lurches; I hope this wonβt turn out to be a mistake.
βHey Priya!β Ciel squealed, wrapping me in a big hug before I could even get the chance to respond. She looked down at me with the prettiest smile on her face before pulling away. Even though weβve meet up so often, I still have to steady my swooning heart when she looks at me like that. βI hope I didnβt keep you waiting. Traffic here is a lot worse than I remembered,β she dramatically sighed.
βYouβre all good, I was just thinking back to all the cram sessions we had in this place,β I laughed softly. βI canβt believe itβs been almost a year since weβve been here.β
βI know right! It feels like it was just yesterday when we were finding any way to goof off instead of doing our homework,β Ciel grinned. βThose were some good timesβbut we should probably get inside before the employees yell at us,β she said, opening the door with a theatrical bow. βLadies first,β she giggled, winking at me. I rolled my eyes at her while stifling a laugh and jokingly curtsied back before walking through the door.
The only thing thatβs really changed is me and Ciel.
As I was taking this all in, Ciel had already waltzed up to the barista and started ordering for us. In the meantime, I took up a seat at our favorite spotβthe rickety table near the least obstructed windowsβand started gazing out into the street.
In a city like ours, itβs common to see stiff-looking business people and bleary-eyed college students rushing to their next class, but sometimes there is the occasional young couple or two that saunter about in their own bubblesβblissfully drinking in the world around them and each otherβs presence. Over time, I find myself growing endeared to these couples and how easy they make love seem. The way they look at each other with the earnest belief that they will walk this path together again and again is quite beautiful to witness. Perhaps only through the glass panes everything seems to be picture perfect, but sometimes I want to indulge in the foolish hope of getting my moment in the frame.
She looks so pretty when she laughs like that. I instinctively shook my head when that thought encroached my mind, as though the words would fall out of my brain and skitter away. βYou remembered that?β I asked, hoping to distract myself. βI feel like I mentioned it in passing once this year.β
βPriya, the real question you should be asking is why wouldnβt I remember?" she retorted with a quizzical look on her face. "I care about you, so of course Iβm going to keep that in mind." Truthfully, Iβm not surprised by thisβshe always remembers the tiniest details of any conversation we haveβbut the sudden warmth blooming from my cheeks was far more shocking to me. I clutched my coffee tight and started drinking it to give myself something else to focus on.
Sheβs always been considerate and thoughtful, this is nothing new and nothing to get excited about. Thankfully she didnβt notice the change in my expression, and we quickly situated ourselves to begin our routine hangout. Yet, in-between sips of coffee and Cielβs rant of the dayβtodayβs topic being on the latest questionable TV show she was forced into watching by her coworkersβwe somehow segued into the topic of dating.
"I feel like it's so much harder to date after college," Ciel groaned, running her hand through her wavy hair. "Work has been getting more hectic and honestly I'd rather spend the little time I have after a shift reading a good bookβor hanging out with you, of course." She cleared her throat and looked down at her cup. βQuite honestly, Iβd always rather spend time with you than anyone else,β she muttered under her breath.
My breath hitched, and I hastily attempted to snuff out the joy lighting up in my body. She does not like you back, she would have said that a long time ago. Sheβs just being nice, weβre best friends after all. I quickly composed myself to the best of my abilities as that little bit of happiness crumbled away and an all too familiar despair returned in its place.
"Same, I think I've resigned myself to being single for the foreseeable future if things stay the way they are,β I sulked. βBut I got to be honest Ciel, even if I had all the time and energy in the world, it would take someone smacking me with a poster saying 'I LIKE YOU' for me to even get the hint that they were into me," I laughed as I mimed the act of being hit with a rolled up poster. I thought she would crack up at thisβshe usually does when I make self-deprecating jokes. Instead, she stayed eerily quiet, turning her head slightly towards the window and averting my eyes.
"Hmm, is that so?" she mumbled, caressing her chin as if deep in thought. Did I say something wrong?
Before I could even get the chance to ask, Ciel suddenly sprang up from her chair. "I just remembered I have something to do, I have to go now." She cracked a half-smile at meβthe kind she does when there's more on her mind than she wants to admit. "Talk to you later, Pri."
"Ohβlater then!" I stuttered, waving her goodbye as she strode off and away, not once looking back.
the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be a part of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.
Writers have two modes and they are "i haven't written in three weeks and i am rotting from the inside and everything feels wrong and i don't know who i am anymore" and "i wrote for four hours straight and forgot to eat and it's dark outside and when did that happen and i feel like a god" and there is nothing in between. no chill. no medium setting. just famine or feast and a very confused nervous system.
Every time it's hot out and i complain about the summer sun and heat someone's always like "Well can't you wear something other than all black all day every single day" NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The cold darkness of this galaxy illuminates into a fiery blaze when I catch a glimpse of her. The planets see her in all her glory, her warmth radiates out and births life into everything it touches.
If only I could be forever held in her gaze and bask in her eternal glow! She is a treasure like none other and in her presence I find my calling. The other planets only value her light, but my existence would be nothing without her.
She is who I live for, who I breathe for, who I love.
Soon, I will be able to stand face to face with her. Even if it is for a moment, I will stand in her presence and cherish herβmy darling starβand show her the full extent of my love. My love that never wanes; my love that never grows cold; my love that never fades to the sands of time.
Even if itβs for a moment, I will savor every second for a lifetime.
...
As I get closer to her, her glow burns brighter and brighter, while my heart beats faster and faster. My mind fills with doubt, wondering if she still holds me dear to her heart like I do, but I still keep moving closerβmy darling will not be kept waiting over what ifs.
And then there she was, more beautiful than my mind could ever recreate in my memories. Our eyes meet, and I knew in that moment that all of this was worth the wait when she stretches out her arms towards me with the most pearly smile in all of the universe.
I run to her with all my might and kiss her gorgeous face. Finally, after all this time, she is in my arms where she belongs.
My Love, my Morning Star, my Sun.
Iβve missed you dearly.
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Originally wrote this draft in August 2024 but I made some edits to improve the overall reading experience.
never lose hope. somewhere, a middle-aged, gender ambiguous person with an advanced degree in an esoteric field and a fiber arts hobby could be crashing out and pinning all their remaining mental health on getting obsessed with your otp. any day now, the most elegantly written 100k fanfic you have ever read is going to hit ao3. it could happen. it has happened.
