Matt

🌺

[maathangii999]

With the help of a borrowed memory of a giggly pledge i think of you and I hope you see 21 stars too.

[maathangii999]

The guys sitting next to me in office smells like and has facial muscles similar to adhil. Resemblance makes me face a wistful longing for somwthing I can never go back to.

[maathangii999]

I realised I've been getting bullied by people I've been in educational institutions with from my hometown. It's been happening forever i have so much trauma and I hate them all.

[maathangii999]

Thank you for making me feel like love is worth it again. You make me feel so safe. My FIRST BOYFRIEND.

[maathangii999]

If someone who ever claimed to be my friend cries over my suicide I'd like to come back as a ghost and ask them to not make it about themselves.

[maathangii999]

Except for priyal yall she's already called dibs on outcrying everyone 😂

[maathangii999]

Yogish, you harassed me till the end of this. When what I had for you initially was only pure love and good intentions you and your friends tortured me, yet I wanted to forgive you and see you in the outmost good light.

Everyday I wake up wanting to not feel this wretched pain but it never ends. I anticipate a call, a text, an unknown number trying to get to me and no matter how hard I try I am never prepared enough. Yet I can't give up, mostly because what I am afraid of isn't in facing such mixed dangers but accepting that your heart is truly one of the most unfathomable chambers of hate I've had to endure.

****

I try not to show that I am affected. My heart thumps out of my chest, blood rushes to the tip of my breasts, I think of taking the niph against me, and I think of my mother. My jaw seals shut and stays tight, I struggle to speak through my teeth, and realising it is not only because I'm saying white lies I think of my teachers. My body starts shivering, my thick blanket suddenly doesn't cover enough, while needing warmth I think of my friends(even the metaphorically dead ones). The call finally ends, tear drops draw salty lines on my cheeks. I look up, then I speak to God.

****

But I wonder why? What made a previously admirable person so lowly in his current nature? What made him try to exchange my love for fulfilling his momentarily lust? What made him think I was the kind of person to let it slide without consequences? What made him think himself immune to his own action?

I only did what he I thought he deserved for what he did to me. It is not my fault that he thinks women are creatures of amity. I don't know who let these men think they can get away with so much.

My seesa note will have your name because of how much pain you've etched into my heart. I will pass not at peace. But if you can, forgive me, for what i had done to you was out of pain that I knew I did not deserve. I'll try to forgive you too, even though it is close to nearly impossible.

[maathangii999]

I dont know how I make it happen but it is starvation wherever I go.

[maathangii999]

My friend who pretends to be slow was shown a tarot spread to predict the dick measurements of her future man and boom this girl shows me the spread with full detailed description. I tell you she playing on my face sometimes. 😒😂

[maathangii999]

Disrespect so loud your name feels like an insult. All the times you told me you loved me, all the times I tried to show you I love you, nothing makes sense. The lack of reciprocity of respect.

[maathangii999]

According to the reading my friend got today, she has 3 years with her boyfriend until one of them leaves. There will be no common ground by either parties, zero compromises and the end shall be brutal.

I fear not being able to help them at all. The lack of growth and direction she has received from people and the fear of upsetting others has her in a cage. I doubt if I've ever contributed to her upbringing in ways I've done for a lot of my other friends' personal growth.

May she realise her powers and break free from the mind that was caged during a broken childhood. That's the only way out through the third year, the determinant of this invisible bondage.

[maathangii999]

It is gonna be 9 months of me and my bf dating and he called me "podi" for the first time today and I laughed so much.

[martian-astro10]

Controversial.....but.......stop using christian concepts to explain nakshatras.... it's weird

Like.......stop it. How do people ALWAYS manage to steal from us? Like how? I'm truly appalled by the audacity. Clothes, jewellery, medicinal practices, heck even psychological concepts and now astrology.

You do not have to force yourself to pray to Hindu gods, it's okay to be a Christian or any other religion and still want to learn Vedic astrology.

Saw this person comparing purva bhadrapada to christ cleansing the world and......no....just no

The kalki purana very clearly associates kalki (destroyer of evil forces, ending the current cosmic cycle, and is responsible for restoring righteousness) with moon in dhanistha.

It is specifically dhanishta because the ashta vasus DIRECTLY rule dhanishta. The ashta vasus are the eight elemental deities (water, earth, wind, fire, etc), it literally makes perfect sense when you think about it. You need to have the blessings of the most basic elements to change the universe. You need the alignment of all the energies, IT'S SO BASIC.

I have sun and Mercury in purva bhadrapada and I'm still disagreeing because IT'S WRONG.

Purva bhadrapada is literally associated with stability. The ruling deity of PB is aja ekapada, he stands on one foot and is considered to be responsible for permanently stabilizing all the realms.

UUGGHH. Atleast have some shame bruh 💀. It's starting to piss me off real bad, you all always do this. Always steal from us and then never give any credit or proper explanation for what you're talking about.

ALSO, STOP BELIEVING CLAIRE NAKTI. All the information about the nakshatras comes from puranas and yet people flock to a white woman who only focuses on superficial stuff to learn about them.

[maathangii999]

For each visit to lanes filled with nostalgia I pay in friendship. Some cruel partings, some kind, none painless. But most (and all) with men, obscure and distorted relationship clashes. Yet I can live through this pain although it hurts.

Take anyone from me lord, as long as it is just not my girls. On dark nights I wouldn't live up to see the light of your day without someone shining them unto me. Those angels are only these women and no one else.

[maathangii999]

I love you Abhay Harrison, my very good friend who has supported me through the ups and down of life. The one who did the social work enough for me to feel like I belonged in an actual group, the one who made me feel less lonely in the streets that I grew up in, the one who made me feel human while I was in absolute horrors.

I'm sorry I came off on you the way I did when I had an issue. I really wish we solved this, or at least for you to hear me apologise. But if this is the only way we'd be able to move and you'd be happy if hope you are satisfied with your stance regarding the same.

Nevertheless, very deeply in my heart, I hope to hear from you again, you mean so much to me. I love you dearly and will always do.

[maathangii999]

I get so angry when I miss him

[maathangii999]

Last night while travelling it was so cold that I couldn't sleep even with my blanket and I woke my sister with a "do you need a hug, are you okay baby?" And she caved into my body and we hugged for the longest we have in a while. I was so happy she held me I was so happy I could keep her warm I love her so much.

PS: she kicked me away soon after the temperature became normal.

[maathangii999]

Need a hug from my boyfie