Mabel

a podcast about ghosts, family secrets, strange houses, and missed connections. (Icon from this image by @sliceofpearpie)

[mabelpodcast]

Hi, I am one of the donors to your MAP fundraiser. Thank you so much for sharing it. Would you be willing to write a spell for me? I am struggling with finding clarity and seeing things as they truly are.

Thank you for using your platform to help the people of Palestine

Thank you so, so much for your generosity!

The first thing you will need to do is prepare an eyewash. Take a cutting from whatever *non-poisonous plant around your home that the morning light first touches; steep it into a tea. Allow the tea to cool, and wash your eyelids with it (only use this tea on the outside of your eyes). Then, you will have to go to your nearest body of water. This does not have to be the ocean, or even a lake or a river. A canal, a well, a pond in a park, whichever is closest to you. Look into it, at your own reflection, until you see something. Only you will know what this something is. After you've done this you will be able to see things more clearly.

Pay attention to your dreams following this ritual. Keep a journal of your thoughts, instincts, and impulses. All of these will be helpful, too.

*please make sure this plant is skin-safe.

Donate to our fundraiser and let us create something for you.

[mabelpodcast]

Fundraising for MAP

We've been very absent. What can we say? It all pales in the face of an active, violent campaign against children. What Israel is doing is a moral failure and a war crime. It is genocide.

We're fundraising for Medical Aid for Palestinians.

If you can spare anything, we'll give you gifts in return.

[mabelpodcast]

Please tell us an eel fact

"There's a kind of eel that no one knows where their spawning grounds are. It is a big scientific mystery and they've never been able to figure it out."

[mabelpodcast]

what killed the rat king ghosts?

"Nothing. They are still there, to this very day." - Maybell Marten, October 19th, 2023

[mabelpodcast]

I am offering some very beautiful and useful divination decks for barter on Instagram, if anyone is looking for that sort of thing but doesn’t like to buy new items.

[mabelpodcast]

Hope you are well, whether my question gets picked or not I hope you have good days.

the few times I got a glimpse of the readings they’ve always been intriguing, I’m hesitant since I don’t know if I’m wording it well, but here goes :)

I’m scared about my dog’s health, I’ve kept up with everything that’s been popping up but now I feel I’ve made one specific issue worse through inaction out of fear and money. I know who to take him with once I finally have my car back. Was I too late? Will he make it through?

I know I need to leave my comfort zone if I need more money (mostly for him, his meds, his new diet, the bills I know will be fairly big), but fear has had such an oppressive hold on my whole life, i struggle with knowing how to break out of this pattern?

You need to find a way to get your dog seen. As far as I can see he will be all right, but please don't put all your faith in divination when it comes to serious health concerns. There is always a way, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you.

There is no secret for breaking out of a pattern of fear and anxiety. The results come from doing. You just have to make the choice to push yourself, wade through the discomfort, do it again, do it again and again, and keep doing it, until that becomes the new pattern. It's unpleasant. It's relatively thankless. But it has to be done.

I believe, truly, that there is no pattern of behaviour or synaptic channel that we are incapable of changing. We are boundlessly adaptable, no matter the age, no matter the situation; it just requires more work and determination and stubbornness than most people are willing to expend. Everyone in the world contains within them the possibility for change. It's just that most people won't do it. But you can. You are absolutely, entirely capable.

Growth sometimes feels poisonous, corrosive. If it's this hard, if it feels this bad, we tell ourselves, can it actually be good for us? Answer: yes. It can. It is. Work with it. Don't give up.

Sending my best wishes to the madra. I hope you're able to get him seen quickly, and that he's feeling better soon.

[mabelpodcast]

I’ve had a truly awful 2023 so far. I’ve had to repeatedly deal with my abuser in shared spaces and my artistic work is failing to find an audience despite my est efforts. Can I expect things to get any better during the second half of the year?

I am very sorry to hear that you've had a rough go. Artistic work can take a dishearteningly long time to produce any kind of notable results. Trust me, I know.

Is the second half of the year going to get better? Genuinely, that is up to you. Is there a particular goal you want to achieve with your art by a specific point in time? If so, why? Can you view this as a year of growth rather than aiming for a specific kind of achievement? Learning what you can about the systems we have in place to sell and promote art, and most importantly, honing and perfecting your craft (I say perfecting, but all artists know their work will never be perfect. It's an endless journey. That's part of the terrible charm). This is not going to be the year you achieve perfect public success. It's not. But success is measured in many different ways. If what you're doing now is making you more unhappy than fulfilled, consider different routes. You don't have to take them now. You don't have to take them, ever. But you are in control of where and how you allocate your energy. If the grind isn't doing it for you, give yourself space to reimagine.

You may not be in control of when and where you're forced to interact with your abuser. But you can give them as little as they deserve. Grey rocking will deny them negative attention and reserve your energy for yourself. Give yourself support and care. This reading is clear: this level of interaction with them won't be permanent.

Something clear throughout the cards I've pulled is the need for balance. Balance between creativity and self-promotion. Balance between work and rest. Balance between ambition and patience. Balance between seeking and letting be. Try and strike a path through the middle of these extremes. No magical thing is going to happen to make the rest of your year perfect, but you can do these smaller things to make your own life easier.

[mabelpodcast]

Aster here =) There is some relief here for me in being able to ask you a question again, as I trust the way you navigate through the world and the ways in which you experience it, so thank you for being here!

Quite honestly it's been a rough almost-three months. A former colleague of mine (I don't dare call them a friend, since we never established that type of relationship) disappeared on me despite very strong intent from them to stick around. I don't take well to being/feeling abandoned like this, but I also love them like the sun loves the horizon, like bones love the heart, and that is a truth in me that I cannot silence. There is truth here and I am not one to turn away from such things, but fuck this is also incredibly difficult

My question is, how do I navigate this? I've been stamping around so much trying to figure this out that the waters are now all muddy for me, and I'd appreciate an outside perspective

Hello, Aster! First of all, thank you so very much for the tip. I hugely appreciate it, and it is more helpful than you know.

As for your reading.

I'm so sorry it's been a rough few months. This is the truth: those who deserve your love don't disappear without warning and without explanation. Before you can work past this, you need to acknowledge the unfair fact that this person may not be worthy of the breadth and depth of your feelings for them. Sometimes there is a tendency to double down in moments like these - I love them deeply, therefore they must have been worthy, therefore there's something wrong with me, I am somehow at fault here, and if I just...understand better, give them more time, give them my patience, perform correctly, say the right things, do the right things, then they will reappear in my life and confirm their worth.

Another truth: feelings can be wrong sometimes. I'd go so far as to venture that feelings are regularly wrong. There is enormous freedom in understanding that emotions are not infallible, that they can absolutely be given attention and weight and never repressed or pushed aside, but they don't have to be our single guiding light. Sometimes we feel personally victimised when what we're really experiencing is the impersonal injustice of the world; sometimes we can be convinced in our hearts that our friends are angry with us when really they're just tired or busy; sometimes the people we love aren't worthy of the purity of that love. There isn't necessarily a deeper meaning to it. You love because you have a vast capacity for love. You heal when that love is abused or misplaced.

And you navigate this the way you navigate any trauma: by giving yourself time, by being honest with yourself, by turning your attention and your focus elsewhere, and by allowing yourself to grow through this. Sometimes people are fickle or thoughtless. Sometimes they make promises they can't keep. Sometimes we misinterpret their intentions, or the sincerity of their intentions. All of this may be painful, but I promise it is not an injury you can't recover from.

This feeling won't last. Some further advice? Try to distract yourself. Give yourself an outlet for your emotions, and then choose to move your focus elsewhere. Try not to dwell. I know it's not easy, but it will get easier. Everything always does. You're worth much more than this.

[mabelpodcast]

Send me your questions.

[mabelpodcast]

- Sometimes we have hard days. Is this a hard day for you?

- as ever, tipped questions get top priority.

- first ten questions will be answered.

- thank you to everyone who has sent in tipped questions in previous sessions! We take your tips to the farmers market. The farmers are kind and we get to eat strawberries.

[solitairians]

i could never be american because whenever I get a big drink I'm like oh great now I have to drink this big drink. i have to take care of this big drink they gave me. everything is terrible in the world

[solitairians]

too many upset americans in the notes of this post. why don't you come over and take care of that big ass drink for me then. why don't you carry it around for me. you must've built up a lot of muscle dragging those drinks around every day. why don't you help me drink it since you're oh so experienced at drinking big drinks. two straws. one cup. why don't you tenderly look into my eyes over the styrofoam rim. we could share a moment and a drink together, feel the intimacy of experiencing the same thing at the same time. at the end of the day my opinion on big drinks will have shifted. it's not the sugar on my lips that changed my mind. i love you but I'll never say. you mistake my fear for indifference and we break each other's hearts. I'm resentful towards big drinks again but it's for a far more complicated reason than just my being European. not that anyone would ever notice the difference. well, except for you, I suppose. funny to think that the only person who knows that about me is a complete stranger. who said that

[mabelpodcast]

Hiya! If you get around to my question I hope I word this correctly, it's a bit complicated; internally for me, mostly. I suppose it could be clear as a box on the exterior.

I feel like I'm not in the world. Like I'm supposed to be things that aren't possible equations or my life is not stringed as it's supposed to-- out of tune. It's a cacophony of swirling ideas. So really to answer everything is-- Why?

Why am I living like this?

You’re not out of tune. There is nothing wrong with you. You can see through facades, that’s all. There are certain lies on which we balance the world, and you can see through them, and it makes you feel disjointed and out of sync with everything. You are as you are, as you were meant to be. Honestly, I believe the solutions that will help you are magical solutions. Like: various rituals of self protection, various explorations of the nature of reality and its connection with other places. Are you interested in magic? Alchemy? The world of spirits, the worlds beyond ours? There’s a lot for you to explore. If you are interested, I can offer you some starting points.

[mabelpodcast]

As I try to leave my childhood home, I feel torn between the urban and the rural worlds. How do I know which path is better for me at this time? Thank you in advance if you're able to answer!

I can’t tell you which you should choose, but I can help direct your search. Ask yourself these questions: where do you feel like you’ll be able to rest better? What do you crave? When you imagine the word freedom what does it look like? If your body was a house what would it look like? What do you need to work, to focus? What makes you unhappy in your surroundings - overstimulation or lack of activity?

[mabelpodcast]

I feel like there's a constant battle in my mind about my steadfastness in my queerness, political standing, and support needs, the fact that my parents aren't accepting of these, and the wish that that will change.

My question is: will it become easier? I'm planning to leave in two years but it feels like this chafing makes attaining that goal much harder, as well.

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. To be honest: your parents will not change. What that means to you is your choice, your experience. Accepting the truth about people, especially loved ones, can be exhausting, difficult, and devastating. It will get easier, if only because in the future - how far in the future depends entirely on you - you will understand your place among the emotional orphans of the world. This sounds harsh. I wish there was a kinder way to put it. If you tell someone how to love you best and they consistently refuse, the unkind truth of the matter is that it’s up to you to navigate the fallout. Those of us who are emotional orphans (term I just made up for the very unfortunate fact that sometimes there is nothing parental about our parents) often struggle with acceptance for a long time. Sometimes I still do. But you will find yourself mothered and fathered by other things - the world, your dear friends, your past self, your future self - and you will be able to define yourself in your own terms, away from this. Have faith that this will change. You will find a home for yourself, among those who see you as you are. If anything, let this be your impetus to move on. You deserve so much more.

[mabelpodcast]

I would love a free reading. Any advice about re-approaching a community I feel at odds with would be welcome

1. Be polite but honest. Don’t apologise for your opinions or beliefs. Don’t misrepresent yourself.

2. Look to your past experiences. What made you feel at odds with these people? How can you prevent or work through this? Have a game plan, so you don’t fall into a similar pattern.

3. And if you do, be prepared to find community elsewhere.

4. Know that finding commonality can be a complicated thing, and not necessarily something you won’t have to work at. You’ll have to decide if this is worth it for you. Know, also, that you can be a community builder, too, if for whatever reason this particular situation isn’t for you. You are never trapped into accepting poor treatment from others.

[mabelpodcast]

Will the project I’m working on be successful?

Ultimately, yes. But it is going to be a real terror to work through. Don’t give up! A lot of the problems you’ll face will be related to your own insecurities, or feelings of inadequacy. Don’t let them stop you. You’ve got a vision. You can’t buy that.

[mabelpodcast]

I can’t connect with my friends comfortably in the way they seem to do with their friends, what am i doing wrong?

Try not to overanalyse. Everyone approaches things differently, and you never know what anyone else is really feeling or experiencing, not from the outside. You aren’t doing anything wrong; if you want greater connection, open yourself up for it. Are you afraid to be vulnerable? Is there a reason why? Do you on some level believe that if your friends were to truly see you they would see some great flaw? Again: you aren’t doing anything wrong, and nor is there some massive defect in your character. Try to let yourself relax more into your interactions with friends. You’re friends with them, presumably, because you enjoy their company, you like them, you find them funny or compassionate or interesting or any combination of those and more. Just enjoy those aspects of your relationships with them. Explore any self-esteem issues that would lead to you seeing yourself as flawed. Those feelings aren’t based in reality. Connection is there. You’ll find it.

[mabelpodcast]

How do I find achieve my goals with music and art without sacrificing my health for it

Everything in its season, even artistic achievement - do the work now, and understand that it might take you longer than you want, but that you will get where you need to go if you are patient and persistent. The desire to push and push and push is very romantic; it’s also not at all sustainable. Don’t let anyone bully you into pushing yourself too hard. Not a teacher, not a collaborator, and not yourself. You are absolutely capable of doing everything you want, as long as you find a compromise between your passion and your physical capabilities.