Uber Driver Am Here

Mac - He/Him - 22

[dojacat]

Me after tucking my kids in bed and going to the kitchen to eat all their paw patrol gummy snacks

[yuirhapsody]

[shyriadracnoir-deactivated20181]

How much damage does this do if I hit someone with it

[segadreamcatcher]

they beat Jesus with that

[bootdrop]

tutorial

brush him

[owomon]

thank u… i learned a lot..

[slimetony]

me when i play videogames

Oh Fuck I Sure Hope I Don’t Die

[midtown120blues-deactivated2018]

me when i see my ex wifes toyota previa barrelling down my street

[gluten-free-pussy]

People whose entire humour/personality is built off of self-deprecating jokes make me so uncomfortable. I hate listening to people drone on and on about how ugly they are or whatever like just admit you’re fishing for compliments go

[agentjawbreaker]

hey op just admit you’re a jerk and go

[gluten-free-pussy]

Girl shut the entire fuck up. Not every goddamn thing has to be a social justice moment. People like Amy schumer who base their entire careers on shitting on themselves aren’t funny. They just aren’t. You constantly making fun of yourself won’t make your mental health any better. Grow the fuck up

[la-laborista-republiko]

https://iww.org/

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

spongebob my leg guy voice: MY WIG!!!

[cherrypiereadytodie]

des

[cherrypiereadytodie]

pa

[cherrypiereadytodie]

[foulserpent]

can we collectively agree that this is not a good way to integrate cartoon characters into a realistic/live action setting

[rochasaurus-deactivated20211230]

[memewhore]

[blizzardofjj]

[foulserpent]

self care is drinking directly from a puddle in the taco bell drive thru

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

One time when I was like 7 I was eating a baby bottle pop and I inhaled the powder and I was suffocating so my mom made me get out of the car and drink from a puddle in a Walmart parking lot

[jokeboy-deactivated20260221]

[chandra-nalaar]

people who think cis is an acronym crack me up

[flavoracle]

As a cishet male, it took me a long time to realize that just meant “cisgender heterosexual.”

But if we’re talking acronyms, it could have accurately stood for “cargo-included shorts / hides emotions terribly” as well.

[chandra-nalaar]

we can forgive you for not knowing what cishet is but cargo shorts? that is too far

[flavoracle]

I’m hoping to get a pardon due to extenuating circumstances on this one.

You see, as a white cishet guy who regularly shaves off all my hair, wearing cargo shorts is about the most overt way I can think of to broadcast to everyone in the vicinity:

DO NOT BE ALARMED! THIS HUGE NERD IS OBVIOUSLY NOT A SKINHEAD!

[wristmilk]

wait… what does trans stand for then?

[flavoracle]

They stand for each other and for a world without fear

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

Flavoracle definitely has a third eye and it’s wide open honey

[neithernownoreverheythatsclever]

[respectfulmemes]