if i look back, i am lost
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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izzy's playlists!
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$LAYYYTER
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@madbard
Welcome to my multifandom blog! I’ll be posting about whatever catches my interest, including but not limited to:
The Magnus Archives
One Piece
In Stars and Time
The Amazing Digital Circus
Searching for a World that Doesn’t Exist
My art will be tagged with #madbard art, my analyses and rants will be tagged with #madbard rambles, my fanfics will be tagged with #madbard writes and my reblogs will be tagged with #madbard reblogs. Pretty much all reblogs are queued.
(in love with you) (bursting at the seams to talk to you) (heart teeming chest aching) hey how are you
Favorite thing about renaissance faires is that they have fuck all to to with the renaissance. This thang is not about historical anything this is about dressing up like a fairy and watching a joust
#a samurai with a flintlock pistol sitting next to a guy dressed as a caveman drinking a styrofoam cup of dr pepper#and it fucks severely
It's not THE renaissance, it's A renaissance. Of what? Up to you
their combined level of freak is unmatched
imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice
"Hello, how can I help you today? Wonderful, can I get a first and last name? And how would I spell that? Awesome. And would you happen to have an address for this individual? And place of work? Fantastic.
Now, I'm going to give you a number, and I'm going to ask that you send in a photo of your target alongside any additional information you may have- family members, security, combat training, medical conditions, just anything you can think of that might be helpful.
Wonderful, you are all good. All we need now is a piece of government-issued ID, for insurance purposes, and a location for payment pickup. We accept cash, gold, processed uranium, and etransfer.
I'm sorry, we don't take american express.
Good, okay, so it looks like we are all set- when the job is complete, you will be notified VIA discreet codeword that a stranger will whisper to you on a crowded street.
We do not issue receipts, but if you'd like, I can arrange for a specific breed of tropical flower to be sent to your home address. Our associates will be able to validate it should the need arises.
And is that everything you were looking for today? Great! Thank you for coming to us. Have a nice day!"
Alternatively,
"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid the Pope is a high-status target that is beyond our area of service.
Yes, I- no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for you.
Okay. Okay. Yes, I understand.
Sir, if you're going to use that sort of language, you should know that our HR department does operate in a hands-on capacity.
Wonderful. You take care."
They create a perfectly normal call cemter staffed by decidedly amoral college students and paying them at least 4x minimum wage.
hiring manager: you’re not concerned about the ah, services we offer?
a college student who has eaten ramen twice a day for the past year: for $25/hour i’ll pull the trigger myself
Look, the difference between Assassins and Customer Service is that Assassins are paid a lot of money to kill people and Customer Service isn’t being paid nearly enough not to.
there is an IMAGE in my HEAD and i cannot DRAW IT. hatred and rage.
there is a CONVERSATION in my HEAD and I cannot WRITE IT. rage and hatred
there is a VIDEO in my HEAD And i cannot ANIMATE IT. hage and ratred
There is a GAME in my HEAD and I cannot CODE IT. Ratred and hage.
there is a SONG in my HEAD and I cannot COMPOSE IT. haged and rate.
there is a MOVIE in my HEAD and i cannot FILM IT. raged and hate
there is a CRAFT in my HEAD and i cannot BUILD IT. snage and snatred
there is a CRAFT in
my HEAD and i cannot BUILD
IT. snage and snatred
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
[And thanks to you, I got a chance to see all the beauty of the universe.]
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Slaytober Day 6: The Fury
u still there. u still u
you are real, you are special, remember who you are.
Can one day off from work and a minecraft arg fixation cure your art block? It’s more likely than you’d think.
It’s been 500 million years since I’ve posted art on tumblr. I don’t know if this will become a consistent recurrence.
They’re muy dressup dolls ….
This moment is so dear to me I want to cry. First of, Grace is so gentle with him? Something something kindness literally saves the world (two worlds, in this case). Also, you just KNOW that Grace is that teacher in whose classroom the kids go to cry when they feel like the whole world has turned against them.
But secondly, "I'm a science human"! Because yeah. None of them is the other's weird alien dog. None of them is the "smart one" (or rather, they both are). They can't do this without each other. They complement each other. They need each other to succeed, there's no other way. That's the whole point! Cooperation! Connection! Working together!
Hope core at its finest.
I love them, your honor.
my piece for @growingpainswha
jester:3
timezones don't matter if your sleep schedule is fucked up enough
"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"
i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist
