Used To Be A Sex Bot But I Developed Sentience

32. Aquarius. Mexican. Bi

[parkchanwoohoo]

Got off a video call with my grandma. Asked her what sort of American foods she was enjoying (my dad flew her in from Korea and she's staying with him in Phoenix rn). She said most of the food isn't too impressive but she's addicted to a specific candy, and when she held up a bag of Werther's Originals I started howling

[importantcatpics]

[dailycatsblog]

[i-am-a-fish]

I would like to be pet every single day and have all my financial needs covered forever

[just-a-panguin]

So you’re just a bottom

[i-am-a-fish]

I'll top if that's what it takes

[byjove]

5 dead and 27 wounded in difficult conversation with mom

[byjove]

actually, you win. never mind! I’m never complaining again!

[nmri]

i heard being friends forever is the new trend

[speedlimit15]

Richard Nixon just had sex with Tumblr

[elvishcostello-deactivated20260]

[rocketbirdie]

nobody:

absolutely no one:

tumblr staff: hey i got a great idea hows about we screw up everyone's decade of muscle memory by splitting the perfectly functioning reblog button into two separate things. and make every basic task take more clicks to perform than before. this is ideal. yup. yeah go ahead and push the update to all users and ignore all feedback. s'all good

[targetedknowledge]

[brightlotusmoon]

[rcntlydcccased]

why draw one David Bowie when you can draw eight

[speedlimit15]

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

[freakoutgirl]

the unfortunate thing about having your first exposure to jazz probably being the monsters inc theme is that sometimes you'll listen to jazz and go "getting a lot of monster inc theme vibes from this one"

[wishicouldcrossthesea]

tramp stamp that says all shall be well

[thoodleoo]

the joy of working with middle school aged children is that, regardless of how long you've been doing it, they will always find novel ways to annoy and confuse you, which is okay because that's the natural state of the middle school aged child. anyway suffice it to say that for the past three weeks of school my 6th grade class has been greeting me at my door by lining up outside of it, playing the national anthem, and saluting me as i walk in.

[jouster-ari]

What they're doing to you:

[ggghoulish]

posting this here cause I’m still not over it. people who write instructions I love you you’re so funny

[evilwizard]

we need to team up… to put together the WB4723 48-Inch Workbench With Power Outlets and Lights… it will take all of our power… and though you are my greatest foe, i can’t do it without you !

[thoughtsdenubolous]

Thanks for being nice to me I’ll remember you forever