jacqueline's trash page

33. she/her. mostly star wars. half overdramatic villain trash, half wholesome baby yoda content. ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulshrapnel/

[hedonistbyheart]

Phew! This was an endeavour! But I’ve wanted to draw the twins talking to all the force ghosts we know of for a while now, so here they are.

[husborth-deactivated20241109]

do you guys ever think about how vader's sole justification for thinking he and luke can kill the emperor is literally "the emperor said so." it's literally "the emperor has forseen this." you ever think about being so deep in the hole your boss determines your objective reality. meetings in the imperial military are like 7 older west point graduates with receding hairlines and cigar collections and then in walks The Living Articulation Of Endless Hate and that was just a guy that they all had to listen to

[shahs1221]

Happy late Revenge of The Sith. Here's captain era Tarkin being all beat up + his numerous scars.

[husborth-deactivated20241109]

i think about where george lucas had planned to take star wars more than i should, but particularly because i am fascinated by the original idea of vader going to luke himself and asking for help atoning, which was cut and condensed into ROTJ for time constraints. and i want to write it. i really do. but the unfortunate thing is that i was of the generation of kids who watched avatar: the last airbender growing up, and all i can think about is vader testing his fucking opening lines like zuko does. the concept of HEY, LORD VADER HERE is irresistably funny

[husborth-deactivated20241109]

like, i wish i could just show people how i imagine this going. you've got a john-wick-if-everyone-had-swords ass sequence of vader going AWOL and slaughtering everyone who catches him, because he decided he was going to be a Better Person four minutes ago and has failed to necessarily stick to that. and then you immediately smash cut to a wrecked, smoldering ship and vader sitting ramrod straight on a piece of the rubble trying to appear nonthreatening, pitching his HEY, LORD VADER HERE speech to a turtle. he's still splattered in the blood of all the ex coworkers he just killed. the space turtle is hiding in its shell and vader decides if it peaks its nose out he's going in the right direction

[husborth-deactivated20241109]

and the really fucking funny thing is that vader would pull the same shit. he'd see a rebel base and he'd sense luke and it'd just be like ah, yes. why don't i just simply walk right in. he immediately gets fired at by every soldier in the near vicinity, and because vader has been murdering people for a quarter century figuring out how to block incoming fire without just killing people is actually kind of a headscratcher, so he's just getting hit with a bunch of lasers that have about as much effect as spitballs but do make a really hilarious PLINK PLINK PLINK PLINK sound when they hit his helmet. and the entire time he's just standing there

[cobbbvanth]

star wars, but it’s just the memes

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

[pileofsith]

May 5th - Star Wars Villains Day: Revenge of the Fifth

The Sith Rule of Two gets a bit wobbly around festive drinks…

Featuring: Darth Plagueis, Darth Sidious, Darth Maul, Asajj Ventress and Darth Tyranus (The only reason they’re cheerfully smiling at each other is because they all had the clever idea of poisoning everyone else’s champagne. The results: 5 hangovers and antidote sessions.)

[kalak]

Padme lives aus are always good but it gets funnier when you consider that if padme lives the rebellion vs the empire will be just the messiest divorce in history featuring custody battle for the twins

padme leading the rebels and vader leading the imperials meeting in the battlefield and the fight stops for a verbal argument of galactic proportions

[stealingpotatoes]

hands u a comic bc im literally obsessed w this

[pedrorascal]

THE MANDALORIAN | Chapter 23: The Spies

[astrotheyge]

Din, I’m pretty sure he learned this exact thing from you. Luke never taught him mediation, meanwhile you famously brokered peace between two warring factions and helped them unite against a common cause??

[husborth-deactivated20241109]

Something I wanted to ask you: which of Anakin’s personal relationships (Obi-Wan, Palpatine, Ahsoka, Padme, Luke, Shmi, etc) is your favorite to write/post/think about? I don’t mean necessarily which ranks up to each other in-universe, but the ones that you find the most interesting and like to talk about.

probably anakin and palpatine to be honest. not only is that the relationship that ends up dominating anakin's life, it has a lot of genuinely interesting - if acutely fucked up - dynamics that i think are pretty fascinating, like what does your life look like when it is completely and totally dominated by one person? when every facet of your existence is completely reinvented to be what this one person wants? anakin very genuinely sacrifices almost everything he has for palpatine; his soul, his body, his labor, the jedi he'd wanted to be, the father he'd wanted to be. the only line he's ever capable of drawing is between palpatine and luke, and even that takes visible and enormous effort - equally as important to the fact that anakin does end up saving luke is that he hesitates for so long, and that...... is enormously depressing. because you have to look at the choice he's making; saving the life of the son he wanted in the last film more than anything, or saving the life of the man who (and i do think vader is self aware enough to realize this) took everything from him. the fact that anakin hesitates even for a second is profoundly sad. the fact that he hesitates for longer than a second is really fucking depressing, and speaks to just the level of emotional attachment he had for palpatine, in spite of - and partially because of - the many very horrible things palpatine did to him.

and no one talks about it! fandom is so busy debating Are The Jedi Evil or Does Obi-Wan Suck Completely (the answer to this being no, of course not, they fuck up at the average rate most people do, that's not being evil jesus h christ) that no one seems to actually pay much attention to how thoroughly disturbing palpatine is. which is sad for me specifically, because i fucking love a thoroughly disturbing villain, and a lot of the things that are actually villainous about palpatine - his scariest traits - are things embedded into his relationship with anakin. if star wars is a story about parenthood making you a better person, palpatine and anakin are the chilling inversion of that, where palpatine uses the same love that vader embraces from luke in ROTJ to do.... horrible, awful shit. and all of that is right there in front of everyone! and no one talks about it! what the hell. so i have to do all the work myself.

[fionacreates]

A Lady and her Knight

Fanart for The Mandalorian

[madeofsplinters]

Most of the worldbuilding in The Mandalorian Season 3 seems bent on making Star Wars even more dystopian than it was before. (The New Republic has re-education camps, really?? It uses refurbished Imperial mind control devices that were supposedly made safer and less mind-control-y but can still be turned back up to the old settings with a simple twist of a dial???) Which makes “Chapter 22: Guns For Hire” even more hilarious in context, because it implies that all these planets totally could be cheerful post-scarcity techno-utopias if they wanted to. Like, the technology is there, the droids explicitly tell us they’re happy to do all the work (??), but even more importantly the social and organizational knowledge needed to convert a whole planet’s economy to happy leisure time and direct democracy is a solved problem, so accessible that a single ex-Imperial officer straight out of the re-education camps can work with the local nobility to make it happen, and nobody is disgruntled by the transition except for this one guy who was a Separatist and whose motivations are otherwise unclear. Like? In order to even fit this into my brain I am forced to conclude that any other planet in Star Wars COULD do this - at least if they solved the “maurading pirates/crime lords/fascists” problem for a hot second - and they just? DECIDED NOT TO?? The writing in this episode is so overall goofy that I’m not convinced anyone actually intended this level of irony here, but I actually kind of love it. Like, seriously, Star Wars, what the fuck. 😝

[stealingpotatoes]

thinking abt Vader going to Naboo makes me a little insane

(support me on kofi!)

[stealingpotatoes]

this comic was brought to you by "i never know what outfit to draw anakin in in fix-it aus"

(ko-fi requests are open!)

[gffa]

[detroitbydark]

I will reblog this everytime I see it until my dying day

[skdubbs]

What is this?! Why have I never seen this?! 😍😍😍😍😍😍 absolutely awesome!

[doobiwankenooku-deactivated2022]

Yessss

[the-stars-are-warring]

The TIMINGS On this thing

It’s so GOOD

[soupdrag0n]

@yourlordship look!

[starpeace]

luke: this is the jedi academy, where you can help restore our lost order, dedicate yourself to learning the jedi ways, and help bring light to the galaxy!

cal: also my friend merrin teaches a class on making your very own zombies :D

luke: [DEEP SIGH] also nightsister merrin teaches the zombies class

[madeofsplinters]

Han, steering into an asteroid field: “They’d have to be crazy to follow us in here!” Narrator: “Unfortunately, Darth Vader was crazy.”

[musewrangler]

Morgan Freeman narrating ESB. Just…can you imagine? 😂😂😂

[singswan-springswan]

I raise you: james earl jones narrating ESB

[madeofsplinters]

So, Bo-Katan is just… sitting in her throne in an empty building all day? Staring out moodily into the mists?

[madeofsplinters]

Like honestly it was very polite of Din to arrive during her scheduled sitting in a chair, staring into space hours