Delusional Phantom @madmagi84 - Tumblr Blog

Ten origin stories for Dungeons & Dragons sorcerers that aren’t “my mom fucked a dragon”:

Sorcerer who attained their powers by practising bending reality to their will for thirty minutes every morning, and is honestly confused when people try to explain that magic doesn’t work like that

Sorcerer who was incredibly unlucky and kept getting struck by lightning, and after the seventh or eight time it sort of stuck

Sorcerer who claims to be a god of calamity and ruin, and they’re actually telling the truth – they just happen to be a very small god of calamity and ruin

Sorcerer who tried some pipeweed they found in a beholder’s stash and experienced some unusual long-term effects

Sorcerer whose parents learned the hard way why you’re not supposed to get frisky on the night of a lunar eclipse (answer: because you end up with baby who can conjure knives)

Sorcerer who’s a time traveller from an unimaginably distant future where people can just do that

Sorcerer who spent four minutes technically dead due to one of those incidents that begin with the phrase “watch this”, and woke up with slight brain damage and power over unearthly spirits

Sorcerer who’s been cursed to die in a fire, and the curse is fulfilling itself in an extremely roundabout way

Sorcerer who was supposed to be an ogre mage’s dinner, but the ogre mage been brewing potions the night before and didn’t clean their cauldron before dunking the poor kid into the soup

Sorcerer who just got so angry one day that they spontaneously developed the ability to set things on fire with their brain

badjokesbyjeff

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”

The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?” The man replies, “That would be my wife.”

whitepeopletwitter

yourplayersaidwhat

Playing a college-themed modern fantasy campaign. All party members are members of ΔΝΔ and their major determines their class. The gang has to stop a dark wizard.

Evil Wizard: “Why do you insolent children fight?! What motivates you to continue on despite all I’ve done to stop you?!”

Paladin/Premed: “Caffeine and Justice!”

Bard/Performing Arts: “Fame and recognition!”

Barbarian/Kinesiology: “The rent’s due! Also a need for an outlet for my pent up stress and rage regardless of how healthy it may be!”

Evil Wizard: “…uh, wha-”

Wizard/Arcane Studies: “Borderline alcoholism and a crippling fear of failing out and not living up to the expectations set for you by others!”

Evil Wizard: “Oh dear Tiamat-!”

Monk/Philosophy: “I was promised a free sub coupon.”

ironinkpen

concept: after a few meetings, miles’ dad finally realizes that spiderman is like. a kid. and not even like a college kid, an actual, legitimate, “thinks dropping his voice actually disguises it” child. after his freak out (he went up against king pin but he’s so small?? rio he said he loved me he’s a baby-) he becomes very determined To Stop Spiderman (From Hurting Himself), but since the kid’s so slippery he mostly just… dads at him from the sidelines, yells encouragements and backs him up in fights and asks him if he’s okay afterwards between lectures on vigilantism and also do your parents know where you are young man? and at some point the double parenting starts to confuse miles and he accidentally calls him dad to his face while in the spiderman suit without even noticing. but jefferson notices and is like. Ah. My Child Now. and Operation: Stop Spiderman turns into Operation: Adopt Spiderman. so anyway he’s currently trying to figure out how to ask miles if he’d be okay with having a brother and miles is currently trying to figure out how to tell his own father that he can’t actually adopt him

brushstrokesapocalyptic

well aware that i’m not the first to get to this one, but here’s my take!!!

“He’s a child.”

He feels dumb for not figuring it out sooner. It’s been nearly a month since the interdimensional science doo-hicky that shook Brooklyn’s foundations, nearly a month since Peter Parker died and a new Spider-Man appeared to take his place, and nearly a month since Jefferson met that new superhero in person.

And it’s only now, sitting on the sofa with his wife watching the evening news, that he’s put the pieces together.

Rio hums quietly, giving him a curious look, and Jefferson elaborates. “Spider-Man— the new Spider-Man, he’s just— he’s tiny, Rio, how did I not notice that before?”

“Maybe he’s just short,” Rio says, looking back at the report on the latest villainy Spider-Man has thwarted.

“It’s not just that,” Jefferson says. “He acts like one— lord, how did I not see it? He thinks deepening his voice actually disguises it. He hugged me, Rio!”

Rio gives him an amused grin, which is not helping. “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

Jefferson groans, slumping back in the sofa and putting a hand over his eyes. “…Well,” he sighs, “I guess I’d better stop him from getting himself killed.”

[Continued on AO3]

politijohn

kaylabeemarie

Just a father and son fixing their ship 🥺

Instagram: kayla.bee.marie

daloy-politsey

What she says: I’m fine

What she means: Why isn’t it taught that abortion was perfectly legal in the US in early 1870s and it wasn’t until a Jewish doctor, who was being framed, was put on trial for manslaughter (a trial, as well as the press covering it, which was greatly tinged with antisemitism) that opened the floodgates for antiabortion crusaders which eventually led to its criminalization?

nongothvampire-deactivated20190

I did not know this!

daloy-politsey

Me neither, until I read this book.

bitcherovas-deactivated20180903

Look at the notes for the name of the book if anyone else is interested.

inali

The book is called Bad Rabbi: And Other Strange but True Stories from the Yiddish Press. By Eddy Portnoy

Other recommended books in the notes that talk about this are:

The Moral Property of Sex by Linda Gordon

Rereading Sex by Helen Horowitz

astrodidact

aenariasbookshelf

See that picture above? That’s a close up of my great grandmother’s immigration papers when she first came to the US back in the early 20th century. But my great grandma’s information isn’t the important part here. The important part is that line in the middle there about how they arrived in the country.

And how ‘stowaway’ is a legitimate, valid option to select.

So yeah. They absolutely just showed up, and that part of immigration history needs to be talked about a lot more.

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REMINDER THAT TRAVEL VISAS AS WE KNOW THEM TODAY WERE INVENTED IN THE 1930S TO KEEP JEWISH REFUGEES OUT OF COUNTRIES THAT DID NOT WANT AN ‘INFLUX’ OF THEM, THEREBY FACILITATING THEIR GENOCIDE :)))))

read What is A Refugee for more history. Educate yourselves.

promise-reprise-deactivated2024

here is the statement of brandon bernard’s legal team, who put it far better than i ever could.

[ID: Attorney statement re: execution of Brandon Bernard.

“Tonight, those of us who love Brandon Bernard - and we are many - are full of righteous anger and deep sadness at the actions of the federal government in taking his life. Brandon’s live mattered. To us, his legal team, to his two beautiful and talented daughters, to his mother, brother, and sister, and to the countless people around the country who came to know him and his story in recent weeks.

Brandon made one terrible mistake at age 18. But he did not kill anyone, and he never stopped feeling shamed and profound remorse for his actions in the crime that took the lives of Todd and Stacie Bagley. And he spent the rest of his life sincerely trying to show, as he put it, that he “was not that person”. Brandon showed us that and so much more, carrying himself with grace and generosity, and always treating everyone around him with kindness and respect. He worked to help other troubled kids avoid similar devastating mistakes, and he lived every day his commitment to serving both God and humanity.

Many things went wrong to put Brandon on death row, including egregious government misconduct in concealing evidence and misleading the jury, which the courts refused to remedy. Before Brandon’s execution, five of the jurors who sentenced him to death said they no longer stood by that verdict. They joined the lead appellate prosecutor on Brandon’s case in urging President Trump to commute his death sentence to life without parole. Those pleas for clemency were joined by hundreds of thousands of supporters, including celebrities, faith leaders, and members of the United States Congress.

Brandon’s execution is a stain on America’s criminal justice system. But I pray that even in his death, Brandon will advance his commitment to helping others by moving us closer to a time when this country does not pointlessly and maliciously kill young Black men who pose no threat to anyone, when we hold prosecutors to the highest standards of integrity in every case, and when our leaders exercise their moral authority where it is needed.

We were proud to call Brandon our client and our friend, and we will miss him greatly.”

-Robert C. Owen, attorney for Brandon Bernard

December 10, 2020]

promise-reprise-deactivated2024

this execution is a needlessly cruel and inhumane act as well as a great tragedy.

brandon bernard’s is not the only federal execution scheduled. according to the bbc, trump has five executions scheduled up until january 20th. we need to keep fighting so that these executions do not happen.

i wish brandon’s family all the best and i’m so sorry we could not do more.

i’m including a few links to spread awareness and inform people.

https://innocenceproject.org/ is an organization that uses modern forensic technology to overturn wrongful convictions.

https://prisonbookprogram.org/for-people-in-prison/national-prisoner-resource-list/ is a list of resources that those who have loved ones in prison or who are in prison can use. it has links to several other similar lists as well.

https://deathpenaltyinfo.org/ is a website that provides information about capital punishment in the united states. one of the first things written on their website is “At least 18 people have been executed despite serious doubts about their guilt. Official misconduct is the leading cause of wrongful capital convictions.”

brandon’s life mattered. black lives matter. we need to keep up this energy to fight for justice in an unjust criminal system even when his name is not trending on twitter anymore.

promise-reprise-deactivated2024

IF YOU’RE GOING TO REBLOG THIS PLEASE REBLOG THIS EDITED VERSION. also sign this petition to keep pervis payne from being executed: https://innocenceproject.org/petitions/stop-execution-pervis-payne/

thank you to girlbosshannibal for the post about the petition in the first place.

chocolate-and-discourse

Sorry, I could never be a capitalist, I suffer from “wanting humans to have their basic needs met” disorder, where I care about people who aren’t me.

chocolate-and-discourse

Someone once asked me if, assuming we got universal healthcare, I would be okay with the rise in “healthcare tourism” where people who are sick come to our country to get their medical bills taken care of and life-saving medical treatment cheaper than in their home countries. I was just like, yeah thats fine, I’d actually prefer it if 0 people died from preventable causes kept behind a paywall for no reason.

spoopy-valkyrie

“even the addicts?” yeah dude did i fucking stutter

kimmywithay

“but surely not the criminals!” YES even them!

sosuperawesome

Kevin Hong on Instagram

g-r-i-m-a

I discovered something useful today, taking breaks or exercising never helps me but THIS does, sharing to save a life

g-r-i-m-a

I just found out that some pro artists that work for companies like Dreamworks etc sometimes hold their pens this or similar way so it gotta work. Recently I spent 5 days on drawing for long periods of time (we talk about min 5 hours in one go to max 12 hours long crunch) and not once did my hand bother me.

fishwrites

For any artist friendos ???

isei-silva

SAVE A (HAND’S) LIFE

magnetrix

@fdevitart !

write-it-motherfuckers

A friend of mine posted this and tagged my old instagram account, asking me to share it. I figured sharing it here where I actually have a following, would be far better.

Please remember that just because the government is giving into pressure and greed, that doesn’t mean that any of this is getting any better, in a lot of ways it’s getting worse. And even if you yourself aren’t being as heavily affected anymore, there are people and communities that are.

Stay safe Darling ones, and help others remain safe too.