Magical Mister Morgo

[doghaircoat-deactivated20201130]

Dwarf Fortress Adventure Mode What The Fuck Is Happening I Need To Tell Someone About This #1

So some villager tells me to go look in the meadhall on the other side of the village to find the ranger who will have a better idea of where to find some other guy. Fine, whatever. I get there and the first thing that happens is two human bards burst out the front doors chasing a goblin bard. They stab him to death there on the grass as he yells. From inside are the sounds of fighting so I mosey on in to take a look, and I find a bunch of human bards knife fighting with goblin bards and the goblin lady consort. A human lasher gets in on the action and it’s a huge brawl. There’s blood all over the floor, people dying, the human bards are winning. While I and my companions sit in the corner watching (with a CONSTANT stream of complaints about how scary it is, and for once I agree) a few bards wander over and hang out with us sharing their thoughts on how This Is Truly Horrifying. One goblin escapes, the humans swarm the lady consort and stab them to death, bards slash the one soldier until he is overwhelmed and killed. Finally things settle down and the only ones left standing are bards in various states of distress. I wander into the next room to check out the damage and HOLY FUCK, the room is painted red with blood and gore. It’s the worst ketchup spill I’ve ever seen and there are a ton of mangled corpses all over with bards eyeing their grisly handywork. The scene is repeated in every room, knife-wielding bards, corpses, blood.

Seriously, what the fuck did I just witness.

[cakejam]

[pinkchicgeek]

Kinkshame the kinkless

[offtlme]

@funimationentertainment

[erlie]

I was looking for reference for bracket fungi, and I ran into this:

And second I saw that, I was like “wait, that looks familiar…”.

Then it hit me.

[mossthefairy]

OMG THIS HAS FIXED MY ENTIRE LIFE I’M SCREAMING I’VE WATCHED THIS SO MANY TIMES

[colehayley]

HERE U GO SHANNON

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

thank u I’ve already looped it 50 times

[dingo-with-a-lion-mane-deactiva]

@omg-check-please

[juichi-bey]

@marj0g0rawr hes coming with us to cali

[scottishsuggestion]

gonnae no 

[injytech]

how?

[scottishsuggestion]

jis, gonnae no

[kellymckelly]

are…. are these real words?

[scottishsuggestion]

gonnae fuck aff

[kaaarst]

[paintvrlife]

by *Yoann-Lossel

[cindelswisties-deactivated20140]

Holy god..amazing

[nostrem]

My favourite thing about Edinburgh is that they have a statue of William Wallace there, but instead of it being the accurate depiction of the knight who fought for Scottish independence and ended up being hung drawn and quarted, they just made a fucking statue of Mel Gibson when he played the role in Braveheart

[northern-irish-lefty-deactivate]

@bantarleton Why must your people do this.

[cultural-fenianism]

incredible

[class-struggle-anarchism]

Your “favourite thing about Edinburgh”? It wasnae even in Edinburgh ya plum

it was in the car park at the Wallace Monument, in Stirling, and the locals hated it so much they smashed it’s face in wae a hammer, causing the council to put a fence round it for it’s own protection:

before they finally gave it back to the sculptor in 2008, so I don’t feel like we Scots came out too badly….

[rottencatboy]

i just wanna get buff so i can pick my boyfriend up tbh

[magicalmistermorgo]

Although if you do, you and Fiona are going on an "X gon' give it to you" montage and Im going to film it.

[perfidiousalbion-deactivated201]

Britain is not open about the stuff we’ve done at all. 

Slavery is taught but that’s about it. And even then the focus is on “We stopped it”, often leaving out the part about profiting from it for 200 years. 

The crimes in Ireland are only taught at A Level history, meaning that most of the public is truly ignorant of British colonialism in Ireland. A huge portion of the English public voted Cromwell to be one of the greatest Britons ever, and he committed horrific acts against Ireland and Scotland. 

There’s little mention of any imperialism in Africa. When it was revealed the Mau Mau’s would be getting a memorial statue funded by the UK, people were outraged and basically denied that we ever did anything wrong. The Boer and Zulu wars are forgotten, especially the bit about the concentration camps.

There’s absolutely 0 public discussion regarding British imperialism in India. People’s knowledge seems to go as far as “We gave them trains so they should be grateful”. The British tied mutineers to cannons and blew them up. The Indian economy shrank under British rule more than any other nation in the modern era. From about 20% of global GDP (Similar to China and Europe) at the start, to about 1% at independence. 

And that’s not even mentioning the Native Americans. Long before someone ever dreamt up the idea of  United States, the European colonists were quite happy killing, abusing, and conning the natives. 

There’s a reason another phrase for the Union Jack is “The Butcher’s Apron”. You don’t get to be the world’s first hyperpower without slaughtering a lot of people. 

[stirringwinds]

People really are awfully naive if they think the whitewashing of history happens only in one country. 

[johnbeyonder]

epic sax office 

[magicalmistermorgo]

A psychological researcher back in 1983: You know how kids use the people around them as role models? Look up to them, admire them, maybe even feel some latent attraction to a few of them...innocent crushes, that kind of thing?

A psychological researcher back in 1983: What if we took an entire generation of children, and inundated them with images of talking animals during their key developmental years.

A psychological researcher back in 1983: Made talking animals feature in every TV show, movie, toy, and ad directed at an entire generation of children.

A psychological researcher back in 1983: Just...completely swamped these kids' brains with images of talking animals, so their role models were like cats and dogs and turtles and shit?

A psychological researcher back in 1983: I wonder what would happen to them.

[retrodust]

[therealposieh]

[studiotrigger-deactivated201605]

please tell me this is photoshopped

[shitpost-senpai]

you keep telling them they need jesus, so they took you up on it.

[muggyebes]

All my life I’ve been skinny like a cat, so this is a little weird.

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[princecharmingtobe]

WTF? There’s a troll just hanging out in some guy’s bedroom. As far as I can tell it hasn’t attacked anyone. It doesn’t appear to be doing anything. I think it’s lost. “This is not my home. This is not my bed.”

Update: The guy who actually owns the room came in, stared at the troll for a minute, then left. No conflict or anything, just “Oh, a troll.” Is he your roommate???

Here they are just chillin’. “TROLL IN THE FORTRESS!!!” “Ah, that’s just Steve, he’s cool.”