Brain Flotsam @kellymckelly - Tumblr Blog

TASKMASTER 21.08 "I Don't Got Any"

Faux leather was the worst thing ever created

Lets take a material that can last decades with the right treatment and care and fucking replicate it with the most dogshit ugly flimsiest animal extinction microplastics smells bad unsexual rips in four days garbage disgusting saran wrap we can think of. Ostensibly for vegans.

alanaisalive

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

iguanamouth

oh shit

throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight

alanaisalive

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

striving-artist

At time of posting, this is at 711.6k notes

29 Days Remain

nelc

Only 12 days left.

triflesandparsnips

It’s Saturday, May 30, 3:18 PM EDT

The note count as of 3:12 PM EDT was 742.4K.

We’re almost 258,000 notes short of the Committment To The Bit Tumblr Curse goal, or what I am choosing to call:

The Bear Nessiecity

You know what to do.

nessa007

Quinta Brunson and Hannah Einbinder's reaction to Keke Palmer bringing up the infamous 2 Girls, 1 Cup video during the Comedy Actress Roundtable for The Hollywood Reporter (May 2026)

montrealvictoire

me and the devil on my shoulder

quezify

2023 -> 2024

afcroyjamie

sophsun1

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) dir. Gil Junger

penandinkprincess

listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different

i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts

penandinkprincess

this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it

penandinkprincess

cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah

justasmidgx

I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.

Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.

But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)

Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".

Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.

penandinkprincess

congrats, i award you funniest take on this post

dailyakotsk

PETER CLAFFEY and DANIEL INGS as SER DUNCAN THE TALL and LORD LYONEL BARATHEON ↳ A KNIGHT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS (2026), dir. OWEN HARRIS ⤷ 1x01 "The Hedge Knight"

great-gatsby

every reread kills me a little bit more

great-gatsby

reread and enjoy <3

lamaison

Legal Eagle asking "are you covered to have an open flame in the studio?" and a producer worriedly yelling "we're not!" as Ally goes to light a bong they filled with real whiskey is maybe the hardest I have ever laughed at an episode of Game Changer.