Smoke the Joke

and toke with a moke ya bloke

[maxbytes]

imagine being an animal without a tail i'd be livid

[maxbytes]

wait

[spaghettinatural]

ah *scribbles down on psychiatrist notes* penis envy

[maxbytes]

DHSDFGYRTRPY^%&$%&%ET$%RYSRTY$#E^%

[4gifs]

He walked away

[kama-aina-killmyself]

Fuckin destruction disc

[lycaniums-room]

An ad for your deepest desires :)

[badassdemonsword]

this gif is like... almost biblical. as if hes experiencing a pharaohs curse...

[lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently]

wtf were you gonna say

[redhotarsenic]

Please respect my privacy

[lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently]

my deepest apologies

[redhotarsenic]

I forgive you

[redhotarsenic]

Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus

[kama-aina-killmyself]

His what?

[mapsontheweb]

Parts of the country where self-service gas pumping is illegal.

[unterwaesche]

I didn’t know about New Jersey’s law so imagine my shock when a pump jockey sprinted at my car and kicked my door shut when I tried to get out to get gas. I rolled down my window and asked him “Is there a law against pumping your own gas or something?” And he looked at me like I’M nuts and just said “…yes?”

[kama-aina-killmyself]

More jobs or less personal freedoms. Hmmmm

[coughloop]

hey i just got a great idea for an already out of date bad stupid joke

[i-give-people-morbius]

[kingscrown666]

Is this the whole fucking movie in real time?? Not sped up????

[kama-aina-killmyself]

It's

[swarnpert]

someone walking into a bathroom, unzipping their pants, and instead of a pissing sound it's the sound of a sword on a grindstone

[swarnpert]

sparks are flying

[kama-aina-killmyself]

How to tell if your friend is secretly a robot from the future

[glumshoe]

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

[glumshoe]

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

[countesspetofi]

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

[glumshoe]

there are only two genders: frog and pig

[forestdwellingrat]

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

[glumshoe]

oh god

[sailor-lady]

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

[glumshoe]

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

[jenivi]

[aflowerthatbloomsinadversity]

Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

[fremedon]

Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

[capitalism-and-analytics]

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

[la-pou-belle]

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

[kestrelsparverius]

[adrnired]

In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

[autisticexpression]

This is the worst addition to this post

[araku-validrava]

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

[wizardlizardinhislair]

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

[ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru]

[kingscrown666]

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

[the-haiku-bot]

Last time I saw this

post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at

the second Eggman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[astronomical-bagel]

anyone in this thread smoke weed

[susiron]

In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them

(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)

[spaceinvaydr]

[the-ocean-delivers-me]

This episode makes me laugh way too much

[kama-aina-killmyself]

Best dad

[4gifs]

Win

[kama-aina-killmyself]

Now thats what I call "Go Jimmy Go"

[radishnt]

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

[mothman-misato]

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

[boimgfrog]

Radish. Answer the question radish.

[radishnt]

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

[boimgfrog]

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

[catsnraincoats]

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

[boimgfrog]

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

[catsnraincoats]

Its takes less than a minute

[boimgfrog]

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

[catsnraincoats]

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

[boimgfrog]

Like seven minutes

[catsnraincoats]

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

[boimgfrog]

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

[pidoop]

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

[silverjirachi]

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

[acrobaticpirouettes]

oh no is this also the ramen guy.

[kama-aina-killmyself]

I could smell his rodent ass coming from a mile away

[corvidaenightcrawler]

I'm afraid

[interruptingkau]

I'm cryign

[kama-aina-killmyself]

Childrens book got me feelin again

[onlytwitterpics]

[catoverlord]

[iamonlykidding-deactivated20210]

[ouchmyworm-deactivated20190708]

[verdeinvolumes-deactivated20190]

[braetsch]

[star-cocks-deactivated20181217]

[pastelburrito]

[jojomangaedits]

[rainbowgazes-archive]

[gamerphobic-deactivated20200727]

[thewomenandthechildren]

It’s time to activate it…

Bites The Dust! now this entire post will be reversed!

[aliiiiiiice]

[avocadosfromfigaro]

[beebugger]

Am I having a fucking stroke

[renousim]

[pissvortex]

that was private information

[merptastical]

this is the plot of osmosis jones

[shencomix]

[kama-aina-killmyself]

This is how i feel a lot of the time

[medianox-astrum]

ok am i the only one who when scrolling through my dash gets a glimpse of this:

and with the red/orange/yellow on top of black hair with a gray-toned skin, have a moment of:

[wizard0rb]