Sucker for a Pretty Face

Matt - 26 - poly/straightish/cismale - (he/him) - Chaotic Good - INFP - Red/White - I love animals, cute people, Magic, games, and people not being dicks to other people.

[odinsblog]

He dropped a dime on his boy!

[xeptum]

heart cat !!!

[marauders4evr]

Ohoho, I am a Big Fan of this!

Source: x

[astraldemise]

trains are literally a kind of animal

[astraldemise]

house we moved into is closer to the tracks now and every time they get near the station they start honking because they are happy to be home. theyre a kind of macrofaunal myriapod i think

[lobstersinmyhouse-deactivated20]

[kaity--did]

Starting a new thread of insane shit I over hear my husband say to our toddler.

“Here, will this rice cake cracker sate your dark passanger?”

[kaity--did]

2. “Come now my child.”

*bluey the album starts playing*

[kaity--did]

3. “Oh I am so sorry. You’ve been mildly inconvenienced. How dare I truly”

[kaity--did]

4. “It is she! Her Majesty, Queen of the Sludge, Keeper of Goo, DJ Baby P (In the House) Dropper of Beats and Clapper of Hands”

[kaity--did]

5. He is in charge of bathtime and he lifted the ghoul tonight while singing “come with me and you’ll be in a world of baby sanitation” and I laughed so hard I snorted pasta

[nb-nightwing-deactivated2022111]

they posted a full version lol it’s mr Stacy’s dad for me

[flameslikeanything]

If you’re ever feeling down, just pull up google maps, zoom in on England and start looking at all the place names.

[flameslikeanything]

[lowpolyrats]

my personal recommendations:

[magpierambles]

I actually live near Newbiggin

[apollochrist]

shit my criminal justice professor has pulled

On the second week of class wore a baseball cap and sunglasses and attempted to go undercover within the students before class started just to “catch wind” of the latest gossip

wore a maternity dress over his regular clothes and then another layer of regular clothes on top of that just to make a joke in the middle of class by stripping down to the maternity dress

This thing called “Mowen dollars” which is just a piece of paper with his face on it that counts as extra credit if you turn it in with a test or paper

Called us his “little ducklings” on multiple occasions

Told us to flip off the class in the hall as we were leaving because they interrupted the middle of his lecture

Also has this thing called “infinite generosity” where if you ask him to do something he won’t say no

For example, we can now use notes on every exam

Constantly photoshops his face onto pictures on his powerpoints

Got a speeding ticket and went to court to argue it with science about inclines and how it artificially adds speed to a car when they’re going down. 

Lost the case and had to pay the ticket anyways. 

 Used his infinite generosity to grant us the option of actually turning in our final term paper without repercussions

 Bargained with us that if 84% of the class responded to the teacher survey sent out by the university we could basically take the final test as a class

Has had the highest rate of teacher survey response in the department for 4 years running and considers it a personal victory

Took multiple pictures of the armored trucks that our local police department has purchased from his home while only wearing underwear

In his infinite generosity, he made the final term paper optional because some kid asked him to like a week before it was supposed to be due

[apollochrist]

Update:

He got the 84% of response on the survey and we can now take our final as an entire class and he can remain the champion of teacher survey responses in the department

Sent out an announcement saying “I had a lunch that consisted of sour gummy worms and various snack cakes. It was fantastic and totally calorie-free”

In that same message linked us an informative video for us to watch before taking the exam

He rick rolled us. 

HE FUCKING RICK ROLLED US

No one rick rolls me, so i sent him an email asking if I could include a link in my final power point slide and wanted him to check it to make sure it was informative

https://youtu.be/lXMskKTw3Bc

I rick rolled him right back

Literally 2 minutes later he emailed me back saying that “the student has become the teacher”

[apollochrist]

Final Update:

On the day of our final as he was passing out the tests he repeated that our class was just like “one big party” and that he was going to play a song that represents how much of a part our class was

That song was “I’ve Got Big Balls” by ACDC

He continued to play said song throughout the first half of our test

When he asked if we had any questions about the test one kid asked what the answer to the first question was, and he actually told us.

He realized how much of a mistake he had made by agreeing to let us take the test in groups when one girl became the “ring leader” and sent out scouts from her group to collect the answers from other groups so they could consolidate answers and decide which ones were the right ones

As soon as the girl started reading down the list of answers to each question, he followed along in his own test and once she got to the end of the 2nd page said, “You guys are such assholes”

When I handed in my test he told me that he was so proud of my email rick rolling on him that he showed all of his friends in the department

[plasticprawns]

honestly guys i cant recommend books enough. like imagine if posts were much longer and also good

[spiderbasil]

the funniest fucking thing just happened i’m in a goth clothing store in camden and a bead fell and bounced on the floor and everyone in the room heard it and checked their piercings. the sound of fear

[lesbianshepard]

[end0skeletal-undead]

Western Spotted Skunk by robbobert

[titkoks]

the comments on this video killed me

[writing-prompt-s]

There is a monster that steals voices, you live in a community where everyone is voiceless. one day a stranger enters your town, asking for directions… In a familiar voice.

[elidyce]

Our village isn’t silent. We’ve made sure of that. We’ve hung wind-chimes, tamed songbirds, built fountains and little waterfalls. The dogs still bark, the cats still mew, the chickens and goats and cows still make sounds. 

There are no human voices left, but our village is not silent. 

It started two years ago. Every night, while we slept, one person’s voice vanished. When they woke, though they seemed perfectly healthy, they could not utter a sound. One every night, until even the babies cried silently. It was never a large village. Before spring came again, it was done. 

Two babies have been born since then. They cried on the first day, and then never again. 

It took some time, but our scholar and our priestess made a language of gestures and signs, and we all learned. The language is still growing, we’re still finding new words to make, but it works. The youngest children don’t even remember speaking with words. 

Now and then, travellers come through. The ones who remember the village before generally don’t come back a second time. Our silence frightens them. Strangers find it a little odd, but it’s a nice village. The inn is comfortable, and the food and beer are good. It’s not the biggest pass through the mountains, but there’s always a steady trickle of travellers in summer, who buy our goods and drink our beer and learn a few of our signs. 

Keep reading

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[anais-ninja-bitch]

it's what Adam Schlesinger would have wanted

[peachy-bunster]

Visit Original Link

[moist-astronaut]

Send help I’ve been laughing for 15 minutes the internet killed my sense of humor

[mildlydisconcertingsparrowhawk]

I was expecting exactly that and was not disappointed

[breadloco]

stopppp everyone absolutely needs to see this

[jewperduper]

So my dad was the assistant music editor on Tarzan, and idk if it was Bring Your Kid to Work Day or something but one day he did just that so there I was, this incredibly small 1st grader, in an absolutely cavernous recording studio with a full orchestra and a giant screen playing the scene they were taping the score for, and my little brain couldn't handle the big music and the big movie happening all at once so I started crying and it was the first time music ever brought me to tears and it was too much to take in so we stepped out of the studio and ran directly into Phil Collins, who looked to me very much like my dad, and in my delicate emotional state I became immediately convinced that my dad had been copied and nobody had told me so I started crying harder, and Phil Collins said something that was probably meant to be calming but it was with a British accent so I thought there was a copy of my dad in every country and I absolutely lost it at the notion that other kids would get to have my dad, and my dad ended up having to carry me back to the car.

So.

Sorry for crying very loudly at you Phil Collins, your work on Tarzan was so moving it triggered my first emotional breakdown.

[ihatenearlyeverything]

the only thing that could top that clip is that story